Title: Bones Shatter (title shamelessly stolen from a Hedley song)
A/N: Purdy sure Lauren's(ZoiePalmer) physical doctoring skills are beyond back of a van with tinted windows bad - I know I know TV doctoring... - and yet somehow I would still prefer her over a real doctor... fascinating.
And OMG did you feel all the feelings they felt like they were feeling while they were feeling their feelings for each other? I felt like if there were any more feelings to be feeling while feeling those feelings they felt they were feeling for each other I MIGHT HAVE EXPLODED INTO A RAINBOW. Dear Lauren, this is why it's not a good idea to store your feelings under such immense pressure, they're kinda gonna explode out of your mouth at some point.. especially when you're fighting a secret war and not sleeping ever or, you know, changing your clothes very often.
Lauren's accidental declaration makes this weight settle heavy in Bo's chest.
It makes heart thump hard.
Her mind fills with thoughts like I love you too and I want to be with you and I'm yours and monogamy. What a terrible idea that is. The last time she thought of monogamy... well, she'd rather not think of all her love life's past misgivings. Dealing with the cards its shoving at her now is more than she can handle.
The way Lauren looks at her and the way Lauren touches her so tenderly makes Bo's heart ache. The way she's never looked at Bo like she is a monster, the way she treats Bo with such reverence makes Bo think of how much she - unequivocally - wants Lauren. In every way possible.
She doesn't want to share Lauren, she doesn't want to be a consolation prize to Nadia, she's so tired of things always getting in between them. Things like her being unaligned and Fae, and Lauren being human and enslaved... and having a girlfriend in a coma.
The funny thing about Lauren is she makes her feel like she's always wanted to feel. Like a normal human being. Not fae, not a monster, not a supernatural being with some weird prophecy hanging over her head. Like she could be happy, really happy, and spend Saturday nights with her being a boring couple snuggling on the couch watching hideous romantic comedies.
She wants to tell her but she's just so beaten up, and not just physically, she doesn't think she could handle outright rejection at this point.
Lauren scoots forwards again, further into Bo's space, and continues poking at her wounds with the gauze. Bo is absolutely exhausted, the only clear thought in her head at the moment is how close Lauren is to her, how gentle her hands are on her and how she's glowing like a million watt light bulb.
"Bo," She says quietly, "please just take some from me." Bo drags her eyes back up from Lauren's lips, her forehead is wrinkled with concern and her eyes are pleading with her. Bo wants to, her body is demanding it in fact, but she can't. It's become almost sacred between them. She's the only person she has ever slept with and not fed off of.
Of course Bo wants to taste her chi, that part of her is insatiably curious about just what Lauren would taste like or how her energy would feel once it mixed with hers.
Then again, the other part of her loves that it's never been a part of their relationship. It's never been a thing between them. Strictly feeding or biology, it has always been more than that. It's been connection and intimacy, contact and motion, give and take, her and Lauren. It's the only time sex for her has just been about them, two people together in that moment.
Maybe it's the hour, or how tired she is, or maybe it's just simply Lauren but her body moves of it's own volition and she can't quite catch up in time to stop herself. Bo catches Lauren's arm pulling it down and away from her cheek trying to create a little space between them - a little room to breathe. Without any conscious thought she lets her power flow into Lauren's skin, easy and gentle. It still causes a sharp intake of breath, Lauren's eyes going wide as her blood begins soaring through her veins.
"Please," Lauren pleads, "please don't-" It's not what Bo expects to hear, she's used to people begging her for more not less. She can never really nail down how Lauren is going to react, it's something she's grown to l- ... there's that word again haunting her thoughts.
"I have a hard enough time controlling myself around you these days," Lauren explains. "If you do tha-" Bo swipes her thumb over Lauren's skin again, sending another low pulse of energy into her. Lauren's eyes slip close, her expression pained. Her breath comes in short harsh pants, she's trying so hard to control herself. To resist. But it's incredibly hard to do so when it just so happens to be the last thing that she actually wants to do.
Bo lets her eyes slip closed too, her body enjoying the energy radiating off of Lauren. It's like being in the sun, it warms her whole body making it sing. It's familiar and comforting, even if everything else is so incredibly complicated Lauren's energy when she's around Bo just makes everything seem - for the moment - alright. It grounds her, brings her back to zero. She finds herself craving these simple moments, yearning for the feeling of normalcy being with Lauren instills in her. The succubus in her aside, she just wants to be held and comforted and told they'll be okay. That they'll get through somehow, together.
Bo leans forward resting her head against Lauren's and Lauren is there - as always - waiting, willing, wanting. She keeps her mouth as far away as possible, head tilted down, trying not to give in. One simple contact is all it will take when she's in this state and she doesn't think she could actually stop herself from taking some of Lauren's energy, especially with Lauren so open and eager. It's probably not helping matters that every contact they make only seems to fuel their situation, it's taking on a slow agonizing burn, and dancing around the flames just isn't cutting anymore.
She pushes away, standing quickly making her ribs protest as she tries to escape but Lauren is surprisingly quick. She pops up off the bed too, skin snapping against Bo's as she catches her retreating wrist. The quick contact allows the desire that fills every inch of Lauren's body to ricochet through Bo, it's too much.
Bo turns abruptly, eyes bright blue, and crowds Lauren back onto the bed. She follows Lauren down, crawling over her, instincts taking over as she drags Lauren further up onto the bed by her hips. Bo leans down in full predator mode, the sharp exhales from her nose cascade over Lauren's jaw as she tips her chin up defiantly.
Lauren isn't afraid, hasn't ever been, from the first time they met she could tell Bo wasn't like any other Fae. She wasn't a monster, she cared about humans, cared about what happened to them and what she had done - she was arguably more human than most. Lauren doesn't dare move though, consciously keeping her arms on the bed. She's torn between her body's natural reaction to Bo and trying to keep some measurable distance between them while she untangles the mess of feelings swimming through her.
If she were honest with herself she knows exactly what she wants, despite the complications of... everything. No matter which way she slices it in her head it never feels quite right and five years under someone else's rule has drained away almost all of her ability to take charge and fight for what she wants. Even with Bo on top of her, lips pecking at her neck she still feels the weight of her burden, a niggling in the back of her mind pulling her back to that god awful room. But five years has changed her, she's not the same woman and the woman she is now is absolutely over the moon about the woman who is currently tugging on her earlobe.
Lauren's breath hitches, hands digging into the sheets in an effort to keep them off of Bo and keep herself from turning them over. She finds it rather unsettling how every time they touch her body responds almost violently and all thoughts go directly towards having Bo under her or over her or against her or simply as much of them pressed together as the laws of physics would allow.
Bo hums against her jaw and Lauren feels her smile against her skin before she nips at her pulse point, "I can feel that you know," Bo sighs. Lauren opens her mouth trying to formulate a clever response but all that comes out is her breath in harsh pants. She wonders what it's like for Bo, being able to sense that energy. 'What does it feel like?' She wonders. She's also slightly mortified at the reminder that her desire for Bo has probably always been blatantly obvious no matter how hard she's tried to remain professional and seemingly unaffected, especially when they're alone together and there's no possibility of mixed signals.
Lauren feels the cool air of the apartment whisk around her as Bo pulls off her abruptly, shifting onto her back. "Bo?" Lauren practically whispers, pulling herself up to sit. Her eyes are still burning blue, face pulled into a deep frown. She doesn't say anything, not that there's anything to say really, she hates their situation - hates that she wasn't able to reign herself in again. Bo just wants it to be simple, just two people who care about each other figuring things out together like normal people do, not that she knows how to do that either but she wants to learn.
She rolls onto her side away from Lauren, hoping all the emotions she's feeling will be easier to swallow if she doesn't actually have to look at the current possessor of her heart. Bo just wants to go home and lay in her bed where Kenzi will eventually feed her a gallon of ice cream and equal amounts of wine, and it'll end up in Kenzi drunkenly cursing Lauren this time or Nadia - despite the redundancy.
Behind her she hears Lauren sigh, followed by what she assumes is her back flopping against the mattress. The bed shifts again, Bo's body tenses as Lauren's energy washes over her just a fraction of a second before Lauren's body presses against hers her arm wrapping tentatively around Bo's waist.
Bo sighs, body relaxing into Lauren's, maybe everything will be alright.
At least for this moment.