This is an idea I had after I actually dared to venture into the Twilight crossover section and a dream I had.
I've actually read all four Twilight saga books myself and I don't really like them that much. Bella is a Mary-Sue and pretty much provides all the examples of the different types there are and Edward is an abusive Gary-Stu.
The only characters in that series I could really tolerate were Alice and Jasper and even then...
Disclaimer: I do not own Winx Club and thank goodness I don't own Twilight!
It was a beautiful, sunny day at Light Rock as usual. The butterflies were fluttering around, fluffy clouds floated in the sky, the birds were chirping…
"AAH! Make it stop!" Darcy screamed, sending a dark energy beam at a bird, which narrowly missed.
"Darcy, Darcy. Violence is never the answer. Be calm, take deep breaths…" A speaker in a tree declared in a calm voice.
"I'm bored!" Stormy complained, flopping to the ground.
"This place sucks. We've got to get out of here!" Icy declared.
"I agree. But the only way we're going to get out of here is on good behaviour…" Darcy sighed.
"I'm going to the library to find something to read. It's better than just sitting around here…" The darkness witch declared, walking off.
About fifteen minutes later, Darcy came back with a few books under her arm.
"How could you think of reading books at a time like this?" Stormy asked.
"Well we might as well kill time. Before we end up killing something else which I wouldn't really mind doing now…" Icy lounged in the grass.
"Boring… boring… boring…" Darcy tossed away one book after the other until she came to a stack of black books, the first of which had a cover design of a pair of pale hands holding a red apple.
"Hmm, Twilight…" She raised an eyebrow at it and flipped the book around to look at the back and then thumbed through a few pages at the front.
"New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn…" She tossed the others to her fellow Trix who also began to survey the covers and flick through the first few pages.
"A vampire love story, forbidden love between a human and a vampire, blah, blah, blah… It's been overdone so many times…" Icy waved it off.
"And it's an Earth book series too… Would be interesting to see what those little Earthlings think about vampires…" Darcy began to read the book aloud.
Several hours later…
The Trix's eyes and mouths were opened wide in shock.
"What the hell was that we just read?" Darcy held the book far away from herself.
"The one time I read a book and it turns out to be this complete and utter piece of crap!" Stormy exclaimed, pointing at the book angrily.
"Since when do vampires sparkle?! Vampires DO NOT SPARKLE!" Icy blasted the book out of Darcy's hands, encasing it in a block of ice.
Darcy and Stormy fired a ray of darkness and lightning bolt respectively, obliterating the book completely.
"Vampires do not work that way! Vampires aren't so nice either. Vegetarian vampires? Really? They're meant to be creatures of the dark that go around striking terror into the hearts of those they meet and feeding off their blood, not having relationships with them!" Darcy was still shaking after reading the book.
"Pixies sparkle. Fairies sparkle. Vampires don't sparkle!" Stormy roared, blasting down a nearby tree.
"That so-called author needs to be destroyed!" Icy declared, shaking a fist and fuming. "I swear when we get out of here, she's right on top of our hitlist- only after Bloom so we can get the Dragon Fire first and completely obliterate her and the rabid fans she probably has in those PATHETIC Earthlings!"
All of a sudden, Light Rock was not as light as it had been before. The clouds grew dark and lightning began to flash, and gusty winds began to blow.
"What's going on here?" Darcy asked.
"I don't know, but I like it!" Stormy smiled.
"I like it too. So much more appealing than that Stephenie Meyer crap…" Icy nodded in agreement.
A dark portal appeared and the Shadow Phoenix, Lord Darkar himself emerged from it.
"You three! You're coming to work for me!" He declared.
"Who is this guy?" Darcy raised an eyebrow.
"Why do you care? As long as he gets us out of here, does it matter?" Icy led them into the portal, following him.
"That was fun, wouldn't you agree?" Darkar chuckled sitting on his throne in Shadowhaunt hours later.
After the Trix had made it out of the captivity section of Light Rock, they had let loose their rage on all the guards who stood between them, freedom and getting away from the horror known as the Twilight series.
"I must say, you had quite a build-up of rage when eliminating those guards that stood in your way. Besides the obvious being in captivity, is there anything else that was behind that?" Lord Darkar asked.
The Trix shuddered at the thought.
"We managed to somehow make it through a horrendous set of books called the Twilight series just before you came for us." Icy explained.
"Are they really so bad?" Darkar said in a mildly surprised tone.
"Oh yeah. You could use 'em for torturing people!" Stormy declared.
"Is that so? Kerborg!" Darkar summoned his evil pet.
"The Trix have told me that there are some absolutely horrible pieces of literature out there called the Twilight saga. There are four books in all. I want you to bring them to me!" He sent Kerborg off.
"You're gonna regret that Darkar…" Stormy warned.
"Nothing scares Lord Darkar!" He said in a scary tone.
After a while, Kerborg reappeared, dropping the complete Twilight saga set into his master's lap.
"Let's see. Twilight, Chapter 1: First Sight..." The Shadow Phoenix began reading.
Several Hours later…
Darkar was in a foetal position as were The Trix who had been forced to stay and hear him read all four books aloud.
"W-why did I read all four of those…" He stammered. "Why do the Earthlings even classify those pieces of crap as literature? How do Earthling females EVEN READ THIS PIECE OF CRAP?!" He sat up and blasted Twilight to bits.
"Bella is a freaking Mary-Sue and Edward is a Gary-Stu!" He blasted New Moon away.
"Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight! It hurts them to be in it! I've met vampires myself and they don't live at all like these Cullens do!" he obliterated the Eclipse book next.
"The dialogue is so bland! Any girl could put themselves into Bella's shoes and not in the good, well-written way! And the way she's described… Is she an AUTHOR AVATAR of Stephenie Meyer or what?" Darkar shrieked loudly before blasting away Breaking Dawn.
"Oh thank goodness those wretched things have FINALLY been destroyed!" Icy breathed in relief.
"That's it. After I get the four pieces of the Codex and get the Ultimate Power in the Realix realm, the first thing I'm doing is paying a trip to this woman who dares call herself an author…" Darkar vowed, the fire in his eyes burning even brighter than before.
While this was going on, Bloom, Stella and Aisha had rescued the pixies with no problems at all.
As their ship flew away, Bloom pondered.
"Why didn't this Shadow Phoenix try to stop us?" She asked aloud.
"I don't know, but I don't really like how we got away so easily…" Aisha said, glancing back through a window.
"Let's just be glad that we've put some distance between us and them and got the pixies out safely…" Sky commented, turning some dials at the controls.
"Hmm… Well we've got time to kill so I think I'll do a little reading before we get back to Alfea…" Bloom rummaged in her backpack and took out a movie-edition copy of Twilight….
This is probably the strangest thing I have ever written and I'm probably going to get hate reviews for it, but bring them on I say. It had to be done…