Title: Five Things Natalia Rivera Never Thought She'd See
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Natalia Rivera, Olivia Spencer, Francesca Rivera, Emma Spencer, Frank Cooper, Bill Lewis.
Category: Romance, Drama, Angst
Word count: 6,602
Summary: An unexpected discovery leads to equally unexpected delights
Spoilers/Timeline Post GL-Finale
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
Author's Note: Thank you all for sticking with me through this wild ride. It ended up taking much longer to, well, end than I had anticipated, but I hope it's worth the wait. School and school with a side of school has been kicking my ass.
Beta: Many thanks to both Kelinswriter and Aimlessny for letting me bounce ideas off of them through this whole tortuously long process. All their thoughts and opinions were very much appreciated.
An extra shout-out to Kelinswriter for taking a look at this part. Massive and unruly doesn't begin to cover the original product.
The strap-on lay on the bed. Natalia stared at it, but didn't touch it. It shouldn't be that hard to just... She felt like poking it with the tip of her finger. Poking...she winced at her own thought and then sighed. And she was the one who had ordered this thing off the internet. From some website that had left her blushing, her face glowing like a reactor in meltdown for more than hour after she'd finished perusing what they had to offer.
And now here it was. Distantly Natalia heard footsteps on the stairs. Emma...Olivia...Francesca...Natalia strained to differentiate. Quick steps. She thought it must be Emma. Olivia had to no reason to hurry. Natalia sagged, letting out a sigh of relief, her attention immediately returning to the...implement...in front of her. All plastic save for the tangled straps made of stiff leather.
The distinctive creaking twist of the door handle being turned made Natalia spin around, stunned and - for just a moment - paralyzed. Then the thought of Emma - Francesca, anyone - walking into the room, spurred her into action, action without thought. With a motion that was half-leap, half-plop, Natalia dropped down onto the bed - sitting on top of the offending...thing. The plastic poked uncomfortably into her butt. It felt like she was sitting on a bomb, not a...a...well, a strap-on.
Olivia stepped inside the room and stopped mid-step. She titled her head, a furrow of worry creasing her brow. Olivia took another step into the room and then turned to shut the door firmly behind her. "What's wrong?"
"Wrong?" Natalia asked, her voice shooting up an octave. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I don't know why you'd... I mean, there's...did you need something?"
Olivia let out a soft laugh. "Okay, sweetheart. If you say so."
Natalia didn't say anything.
Olivia arched an eyebrow. "Seriously, you're just going to pretend that nothing's going on here?"
Natalia thought about it for a moment, considered fully the ridiculousness of the situation...and then nodded. "Yes. Yes I am." She tried to say it as matter-of-factly as she could.
Olivia just laughed. "Okay. I was coming up here to grab my purse. Emma wanted to go get something for after dinner, maybe a cake from that new bakery..."
"Oh, Olivia, that's not necessary," Natalia protested, rising to catch Olivia's arm. "I can make some-" Natalia broke off as she realized - far too late - that she had stood, that the object that she had been hiding with her body was now in plain view on the bed. "-Thing," she finished futilely.
Natalia closed her eyes, covered her face with her hand, and waited. Waited for Olivia to say something, because she had to notice. How could she not comment?
"Natalia..." Olivia sounded more bemused than surprised. "There's a strap-on on our bed."
Natalia nodded, her face still buried in her hands. "Yes."
Olivia took a step closer to Natalia, her own smile growing. "And you were sitting on it?"
Natalia's head shot up. "Olivia!" She managed to be both protesting and petulant. "It was...I...don't look at me like that."
"Like what?" The way Olivia's voice dropped as she took another step closer to Natalia belied her words.
"Like...like...that!" Natalia said, pointing at Olivia. "That look on your face right now."
"You constantly surprise me," Olivia said, and her voice had shifted again. She sounded reverent and it made Natalia flush again, maybe even more than all the desire that had just been written on Olivia's face.
"This is your fault you know."
"That I walked in to our room to find you sitting on some poor defenseless strap-on?"
"You make it sound like...I was just...I heard a noise and I wasn't ready to..." Natalia took a deep breath. "Are you going to let me explain?"
"Maybe," Olivia smiled. "This is pretty fun too."
Natalia gave her a look and Olivia caved.
"I'm sorry." Olivia even managed to sound like she meant it. Her smile gentled from amused to apologetic. She raised a hand to cup the side of Natalia's face. "Tell me?" There was a purity to the way that she spoke that made Natalia forget everything for a moment, even why they were there having this excruciating conversation.
Natalia couldn't help pressing into the hand against her cheek, reveling in the contact for just a moment. Olivia let her, her thumb stroking against Natalia's cheek, leaning up to kiss Natalia's forehead. Natalia let out a shaky sigh that had nothing to do with what lay behind her on the bed and everything to do with the woman standing in front of her.
"Can we just stay like this?" Natalia asked, barely above a whisper.
"As long as you want."
Natalia let out a contented sigh and raised her arms, sliding them along Olivia's sides, up over her chest until she could lace her fingers together behind Olivia's neck.
"I saw you."
"You saw me?" Olivia repeated, still at a loss.
Natalia buried her face against Olivia's neck. Her words came out a little muffled. "The other night. When you had your laptop in bed."
Olivia tensed; Natalia felt it and clung to her a little bit tighter.
"The night that you got in so late from that work thing for Blake?"
Natalia nodded, stray hairs tickling Olivia's skin.
"How..." Olivia shook her head and waved it away with a brush of her hand. "It doesn't matter."
"It does," Natalia said, pulling away a little. "I should apologize. When you got up to pee, I looked." Her lips pressed together. "I really am sorry about that. I shouldn't have looked. It was none of my business, but you shut your laptop so quickly when I came and you looked..." Natalia sniffed and Olivia realized that she had been genuinely worried and distressed about this. Not that she'd had any doubts. "You looked the way you did when you started looking at places to move after Frank proposed - that day when we were looking at pictures and you didn't want me to see. I just had to know."
Olivia's jaw clenched, remembering that time. It had been exhausting and terrifying for both of them. She couldn't really blame Natalia for what she had done. She had an urge to apologize to Natalia for scaring her like that, but still... "It wasn't the same at all."
"I know," Natalia said.
"You could have said something - that you'd seen," Olivia pointed out.
"I wasn't sure. I wanted to, but ever time I tried I couldn't find the right words. I didn't want to argue about or make you think...anything."
"So you...went out and bought one?" Olivia held up a hand, forestalling what Natalia might say. "I'm just trying to understand."
"It was an impulse," Natalia said, the words spilling out in a quickly blurted squeak. "I was just looking and then I just did it."
Olivia let out a soft chuckle. Natalia shot her a disgruntled look. Olivia smiled and brushed her lips against Natalia's. It was just a brief kiss, a moment of reconnecting, but when Olivia pulled away Natalia was smiling and looking a little dazed.
"I should go," Olivia said regretfully, gesturing over her shoulder, towards the door. "Emma is waiting."
Natalia nodded. "I should check on Francesca."
"Uh-huh," Olivia agreed, taking a step back. She bit her lip and glanced behind Natalia at the bad. "But we'll talk about this tonight?"
"If you want to," Natalia agreed.
"I want." Olivia said firmly, leaving no doubt in Natalia's mind.
There was no strap-on to be seen. Not that there had been before, until Natalia had stood. Idly Olivia wondered what Natalia had done with it. It wasn't like she had expected it to still be sitting on the corner of the bed, when they finally returned to their room, the girls settled in their own beds, and ready to turn in for the night. Natalia had probably been thinking about the girls when she had put it away; Emma and Francesca were in and out of their room all the time. It wasn't something Olivia would mind discussing with Emma. She and Natalia were consenting adults and there was no shame in what they were - or in this case, weren't - doing. But she could imagine the way Natalia would blush, and Olivia didn't want that.
Olivia rubbed the bridge of her nose and sank into a seat on the edge of the bed. Natalia was already settled, propped up against a pile of pillows on the other side. She looked beautiful, her hair falling loosely around her face. Olivia wanted to sink her hands into it. Instead she slid closer to Natalia, laying diagonally across the bed and propping herself up on one elbow. Even still she was looking up at Natalia. Olivia didn't mind at all; she liked the view. And though her eyes never left Natalia's face, she was also conscious of the fact that she was eye-level with Natalia's chest.
"You are so beautiful."
The four simple words jolted Olivia, so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't expected it. Natalia raised a hand to cup her cheek and Olivia pressed against Natalia's hand, nuzzling into her palm.
"I was just thinking the same thing about you."
Natalia smiled. "Aren't we the lucky ones?"
"We are," Olivia said, heartfelt thankfulness plain in her voice. "Blessed." Olivia felt the shiver that went through Natalia's body. The urge to be closer to Natalia was almost overwhelming. Olivia wriggled a little nearer. Natalia's smile grew.
"I want to kiss you."
Once again Natalia's words sent Olivia's heart racing, made her smile. She tilted her head up, offering herself to Natalia. Natalia's thumb smoothed over her bottom lip and Olivia could see that Natalia was staring at her mouth. Even after being together for nearly two years, it was still so gratifying to see the way Natalia responded to her, to know that Natalia really did want her.
"But if I kiss you," Natalia whispered. "I won't want to stop."
"And that's a bad thing?" Olivia murmured, feeling the faintest beginnings of a headache coming on.
"I thought we should talk." For the first time Natalia sounded a little vulnerable.
"Oh." Realization washed through Olivia. She pushed herself up a little bit straighter on her forearm. "I guess we should. We don't have to tonight, you know? We could just..." She smiled, and if she looked wanton and seductive, well, she couldn't help it really. It was just the way Natalia made her feel.
"We could," Natalia agreed. Her eyes seemed to darken, the look in them growing so intense, that Olivia thought she would burst from it. Then Natalia leaned in and claimed her lips kissing her deeply, fiercely, for one moment and then another before she wrenched their lips apart again. "We could," Natalia repeated, "But I want to..." Something seemed to occur to Natalia and her eyebrow shot up. "Do you?"
Olivia shook her head, nodded. She wanted...she wasn't sure how to put into words what she wanted. Natalia, above all. Any way she could have her. Something must have shown on Olivia's face because Natalia squirmed a little closer to her, leaning into Olivia. Her hand ran down Olivia's chest, her index finger tracing the path of the scar that bisected Olivia's chest.
"It doesn't have to be tonight," Olivia said, reaching to take Natalia's hand in hers, bringing it up to her cheek and nuzzling against it. The gesture spoke more of comfort and reassurance than seduction.
Natalia seemed eager to explore this. In one way it wasn't surprising to Olivia. After her return from the retreat, Natalia had made certain that there was no doubt in Olivia's mind what Natalia wanted as far as their physical relationship was concerned. Still in a million years, Olivia would never have expected Natalia to go out by herself and buy them a strap on. It was a little startling - and quite a turn on.
Still Olivia could admit - if only to herself - that part of her was a little bit uncomfortable, worried that despite how it seemed, Natalia wouldn't be okay with incorporating a toy - this toy - into their love life. Natalia had overcome so much as far as her beliefs were concerned to allow them to be together. Bringing something foreign into their bed was pushing further, pressing, Olivia was afraid, against the edges of Natalia's comfort zone. There were many things that Olivia could live without; Natalia's love was not one of them. Part of her was scared to risk that for anything. Another part of her yearned for what Natalia was offering, not the physical act, but something more ephemeral. A feeling. An ache.
The difference of course, between this desire and the one that had burned so fiercely within Olivia since she was teenager, was that only Natalia could fill this missing piece, give Olivia what she wanted. And she was the only one Olivia wanted.
Natalia tilted her head to give Olivia a searching look. The knowledge in her eyes that everything was not quite right with Olivia made Olivia feel suddenly shy. She ducked her eyes, letting a strand of hair fall forward over her face. Only Natalia could make her feel this way.
"Olivia." Gently Natalia drew her head up.
Olivia smiled for her easily, brightly, feeling her whole face light up. No matter what, looking into Natalia's eyes still made her feel like a giddy school girl. The girl she'd been once, but had lost for so long.
Natalia smiled back, an automatic response to Olivia. "Tell me." Natalia bit her lip. "Are you upset I...?"
"No," Olivia said quickly. "Not at all." She chuckled; it was a little forced. "Surprised, maybe." Olivia held up her thumb and index finger, barely spread apart. "This much. But not upset."
"No?" Natalia didn't seem convinced. "Not even that I looked at your laptop?"
Olivia shifted away from her, then shook her head. "No, I mean, I wish that you'd told me - trusted me - but I understand the impulse." She shrugged, and for a moment, a brief look for hurt did pass over her features. "If we do this..." Olivia made a face. "I don't want you to regret it."
Natalia smiled gently. It made Olivia's heart beat a little bit faster. Probably not what Natalia had intended. Natalia reached up to touch Olivia's cheek. Olivia tried not to shudder at the faint touch, quiver at the brush of Natalia's fingers against her cheek. It was an effort. She couldn't help leaning into to the curve of Natalia's palm.
"Olivia." The way Natalia said her name was halfway between reverent and chiding. It made Olivia want to duck her head, pull away, avoid what was sure to come. "I'll admit that this was an impulse purchase, but like I told you once before - I know what it means to tell someone that you love them. I know what I'm doing. I thought about this and I bought it because it sounded like something I wanted too. Not just for you."
Olivia smiled at that and Natalia echoed a relieved smile back at her.
Natalia stroked a hand down her cheek. "Is that what you needed to hear?"
Olivia grinned. "Yeah, I think, maybe. I just want you to feel happy; not like this is something you have to do for me."
Something in Natalia's smile changed; it made Olivia weak in the knees. "Trust me," Natalia said. "I want this." Her smile grew a little wider as she looked Olivia up and down. "So if you want this too, why don't you go put this on and I'll be here, on our bed, waiting for you. How does that sound?"
It was so unexpected - hadn't even occurred to Olivia that Natalia might think...when it was so obvious to her - that she couldn't keep the brief flicker of startled disappointment off her face. Not that she was disappointed, not when it came to Natalia and anything that they did in bed together, but she'd had a fantasy and she had thought Natalia had understood. Only Natalia hadn't. Olivia felt strangely let down; she was already annoyed with herself for feeling that way. It didn't mean never, just not now, she reminded herself. All these thoughts flashed through her in an instant.
"Hey," Natalia said, putting a hand on Olivia's shoulder to stop her. "What's wrong?" It wasn't accusing, but light and a little concerned.
"Nothing," Olivia said too quickly, wincing inside at how not-okay that had sounded. She wouldn't even have believed herself sounding that way.
Natalia shook her head and shuffled a little closer to Olivia. "That didn't look like nothing."
"That...what?" It came out a little shorter than Olivia had intended. She hadn't meant to snap back but she was more sensitive about this than she had expected and sometimes Natalia's determination left her feeling more flayed open than Olivia thought she could handle.
"The way you looked when I said..." Natalia flushed as if she couldn't say it a second time. She cleared her throat a little and straightened, pushing through her embarrassment and anxiety. "It wasn't nothing." She caught Olivia's hands and squeezed them. "That's how we ended up here."
Olivia wrinkled her nose. " And what's so wrong with here, Natalia?" Her voice was rising again; she felt the situation slipping through her fingers and hated it. "Huh? Do you think there's something wrong with this?" She lifted the strap on between them, holding it out and forcing Natalia to look at it.
"No," Natalia said firmly. "No, of course not, Olivia." She ducked her head, shaking it in a quick denial before looking back up at Olivia. "But I didn't like who I was when I was so scared I couldn't think straight."
Olivia's lips twitched into a smirk. Natalia couldn't help but smile back at her; it slid off her face just as quickly.
"I was...maybe, will always be scared of loosing you. I couldn't stand that." Natalia raised a hand to touch Olivia's cheek. "You're my world, Olivia Spencer. And maybe sometimes that means I'll do crazy things instead of the right thing - coming to talk to you."
"That sounds really familiar, you know," Olivia said softly. "I spent years - decades - doing crazy - insane - things for love. Until you. You showed me I could have love without being anyone but exactly who I am."
"I guess we both need more practice at that, huh?" Natalia said shyly.
"Yeah, I guess so," Olivia agreed, the smile gracing her lips easing Natalia's heart.
Natalia let her hand trail down Olivia's chest, her hand coming to rest above the steady beating of her heart. "Then will you trust me enough to tell me, Olivia? Please? I want to know. I won't go anywhere."
Olivia drew in a shaky breath and reached to tangle her fingers in Natalia's free hand. Her grip was tight. She leaned in close to Natalia, close enough that her lips were against the shell of Natalia's ear. "I wanted you to be the one wear this. That's what I was picturing. Your body over mine..."
"Olivia..." Natalia's voice broke on the single word; she shivered and found her throat choked with desire. And not a little surprise.
"You don't have to," Olivia said quickly. "It was just a thought, a fantasy..."
Natalia took a step back from Olivia, her hand coming to her mouth, fingers touching her lips.
"Natalia?" Olivia was starting to sound worried.
"I never thought...when I saw that I just assumed..."
"That I wanted to fuck you?"
Natalia let out a little gasp at Olivia's rough language. "I guess. I never considered what you might want me to do."
"You don't have to do anything," Olivia repeated.
"I wish you would stop saying that. I know I don't have to do anything. I was just surprised... You know I need time to think-"
"And you can have as much time as you want," Olivia said, taking a step back from Natalia.
"I don't need that much time." Natalia caught her hands again before Olivia could get any further away. "Stop running away from me, Olivia Spencer. Didn't we both just promise to try to be better about coming to each other with things?"
"Mmm." The skittish look in Olivia's eyes didn't quite disappear.
Natalia let her hand slide down from Olivia's wrist to cover her hand. And the object she held in that hand, smooth silicone and leather. She pulled gently until Olivia let go and then she leaned into Olivia, cupping her cheek and kissing her hard and deep, wanting to let her know, with every breath, every glide of her lips, stroke of her tongue that Olivia was loved.
When she finally pulled away, they were both breathless. "Don't go anywhere," Natalia said, as she took a step back from Olivia and then another, before she turned on her heel and strode into the bathroom.
For a long moment Olivia simply stood and stared, stunned and turned on beyond belief. And then she threw herself into motion, stripping off her clothes down to the lingerie below.
Natalia's hands shook as she tightened the last strap and looked down at the appendage that now dangled from her. It looked strange, awkward, and she wasn't sure it was where it should be. To do that she would need to touch it.
It wouldn't bite, Natalia knew. She had touched it before. It just felt like plastic. It was more than the sum of its parts though. Natalia took a deep breath. If she couldn't even do this though...how would she be able to go out there and do what Olivia wanted - what they now both wanted?
A flash of the way Olivia had looked, her hair tousled and need plain in her eyes, caught Natalia off-guard. She gasped again and almost without conscious thought reached down to adjust herself, pushing it against her until- air hissed through her teeth as it pressed against just the right spot. Her eyes fell closed until she made a conscious effort to open them.
Natalia was going to walk right out that door, into the next room, and stride right up to Olivia. Just as soon as she finished gathering her confidence.
As much as she wanted to, Natalia didn't think she could do that, standing there naked with nothing but the harness around her waist. She wanted to be strong, not vulnerable. There was a time and place for vulnerable, but her lover needed her strength as well. And she needed to give Olivia that. It had to be a partnership of equals, not her making unfair demands that Olivia be the strong one all the time.
The only thing to hand was a red silk robe, hanging on the back of the door. Of course it was red. It belonged to Olivia. Natalia grabbed it anyway, pulling it down off the hook and quickly sliding it around her shoulders. The cool silk against her skin felt divine, a contrast to the slight weight that tugged against her hips, only noticeable because it had never been there before.
Natalia straightened and took a deep breath, reaching out to open the door as she did - and immediately gasped.
"Olivia." Her lover's name was the only thing she could get out, her breath catching in her throat at the sight of the woman sprawled across their bed. Olivia looked as easy as Natalia wished she felt. Instead she felt, nervous, jittery, too full of energy that had no outlet. Natalia hadn't expected to feel this turned on, this excited at the prospect of what they were about to do, but now that she was here in this moment, she could almost feel her blood racing through her veins.
The temptation to reach out and touch Olivia was too great to resist. Natalia moved forward, climbing onto the bed. The robe gaped open and slipped down around her shoulders; Natalia hardly noticed as she crawled towards Olivia. The strap-on dangling between her legs gave her pause. A flush tinted her cheeks and Natalia glanced down, her hair falling around her face.
The soft glow of the light on Olivia's thigh, all smooth skin and toned muscle caught her attention, drawing her away from her insecurity and refocusing her on Olivia. Natalia reached out, letting her fingers run down Olivia's slender thigh. Muscles jumped beneath skin and a smile flashed across Natalia's face at Olivia's reaction. She tossed her hair to the side so that she could look up at Olivia once again.
The wanton, needy expression on Olivia's face made Natalia surge forward, crawling closer, no longer caring about how awkward she looked. The moment she was close enough, Olivia's hand sank into her hair, curving around the back of her head and pulling Natalia down for a searing kiss. Natalia could hear the thump of her heartbeat in her ears as lips pressed and tongues sought. She ended up propped above Olivia on one elbow, the other hand trailing down Olivia's neck, until her fingers were brushing across the line of barely raised tissue that bisected Olivia's chest. Olivia shifted in a barely noticeable show of discomfort. It wasn't the first time and Natalia suspected it wouldn't be the last. Guilt about Gus tended to strike Olivia now and then.
Natalia's response was the same as it always was, in one form or another. She let her fingers trail further down, gliding over the swell of Olivia's breast until she was brushing her thumb against Olivia's already hardened nipple. She bent her head to kiss her way down the line of the scar, following the path that her fingers had taken just a moment before. The faint raised edge of the scar against her lips reminded Natalia of what she could have so easily missed, never knowing what she might have had. She didn't want to miss anything, not where Olivia was concerned, not even when itpushed her further outside of her comfort zone than she had even been.
Her tongue flicked out to taste Olivia's skin even as she continued to tease Olivia's nipple with her thumb. Olivia arched off the bed into Natalia, pushing against her and letting out a soft groan. The sound worked a heady magic on Natalia, filling her with an even greater desire than before. She wanted to taste every inch of Olivia, feel their skin against each other, soft curves and smooth limbs pressing into one another. She wanted everything all at once. She wanted Olivia.
"I love you." The first words that had been spoken since she had crawled into bed with Olivia. Desperate, fervent words, words she wanted Olivia to remember for the rest of their lives. She punctuated them by raising her head to kiss Olivia again, deeper this time if that was even possible. She wanted to lose herself in the sweetness of Olivia's lips, but her body rebelled, demanding and pressing, urging her onwards to take what they both wanted.
Olivia gasped, clinging tightly to Natalia's shoulders, pushing her hips up against Natalia. Natalia swallowed hard, and pushed herself up a little higher on her elbow, creating some space between them so she could slide her hand down Olivia's body. Her fingers trailed down Olivia's abdomen, brushing against her belly button and sliding past smoothly shaved skin to slip her hand between Olivia's legs. The wet warmth that she found waiting for her drew a whimper from Natalia. She loved knowing that Olivia was this excited, this turned on for her. She stroked her fingers gently through Olivia's warmth, rolling her hips to the side so she could have better access.
Olivia's breath hitched. "You are so beautiful," she murmured, her voice low and gravelly with desire. Natalia loved the purring depth of it, a seductive sound that could make her shiver all over.
"So are you," Natalia whispered. She swallowed, knowing what she wanted to say, but years of teachings, habits ingrained that she should be demure and want only what was considered normal and safe making it difficult to vocalize her thoughts. "I'm so glad we did this."
Olivia let out a throaty chuckle. "We haven't done anything yet."
Natalia let out a quick laugh. "I know, but we're going to. We will. And it's going to be..."
"What?" Olivia asked, unable to help herself.
"Beautiful, amazing, everything you wanted," Natalia whispered. "Everything I didn't realize I wanted. You make my dreams come true, you know. The ones I didn't realize I had. You are...everything," she said, cupping Olivia's cheek softly in one hand.
Olivia sniffed, tears welling in her eyes. "Don't make me cry." There was a hint of hardness and edge in her voice, but Natalia could hear the vulnerability it covered.
"Never," Natalia agreed, with a lighthearted promise she knew it would be impossible to keep, no matter how much she wished they could. Love didn't mean they always agreed on everything. They were both women with strong opinions. Friction was inevitable, but as long as they ended up back here, in their bed at the end of the day, that was all that mattered. It didn't mean it wasn't a promise Natalia didn't wish she could keep.
Natalia's fingers, continually moving in slow, gentle caresses, brushed against the underside of Olivia's clit and Olivia's hips jerked. For a second time a smile flashed across Natalia's face.
"You're so wet, I don't think I would have to use anything..." Natalia said, her voice so soft it was almost a whisper, but firm.
Olivia's only response was a whimper and to push her hips against Natalia again, desperate for more contact.
"But I'm going to anyway. The directions say so."
Olivia let out a strangled laugh. "Always a direction-follower, you."
Natalia laughed too. "If you'd rather we could just...not."
Olivia's eyes snapped up and her hand shot out to catch Natalia's wrist.
"Or not." Natalia amended. The burning intensity of Olivia's gaze caught her and held her entrapped. "The only way I'm stopping now is if you say stop."
"Never," Olivia echoed her words back to her.
Natalia gave a short nod and reached behind her for the small bottle of lube they kept in the nightstand drawer, her wrist sliding through Olivia's fingers as Olivia let her go. She could feel Olivia's eyes on her as she went through the motions, getting it out, opening the flip top, squirting it onto her hands. She fumbled the bottle once, but managed to catch it, internally blaming the way Olivia was looking at her for her shaking hands. Natalia decided turnabout was fair play as she ran her hand up and down the smooth plastic of the dildo, making sure every surface was coated with lube, pressing down against her clit as she did. The sensation made her eyes flutter briefly shut and she could almost feel the tension in Olivia's body ratchet up a notch.
Natalia opened her eyes with a satisfied smile and rolled over. She covered Olivia's body with her own, before her own nerves could return, before Olivia could press the delicate balance between them, taking charge of the moment. It was an appealing thought, and maybe someday, but Natalia wanted tonight to be about Olivia. She wanted to be everything that Olivia needed, wanted, and the only way that could happen was for her to take control of the moment before Olivia decided that she couldn't handle it. It was a protective side of Olivia that Natalia loved, but didn't always need. She wanted to be more; Olivia had shown her how to be that too.
Pushing up on to one hand, Natalia glanced down their bodies, almost holding her breath as she grasped the base of the dildo firmly with her other hand. She guided it into Olivia, thrusting her hips forward slowly increasing the weight and pressure. It was an odd feeling, more distant and yet more intimate, than what Natalia was used to. She knew every inch of Olivia's body and this was no exception, but now there was no way to feel, only pressure, an indirect guide at best. It took her a moment to find the right angle, but when she did, Natalia sank easily into Olivia, pushing into her until their bodies met.
The sight of them connected in that way caught Natalia far harder than she had expected it to, made her want to press into Olivia again and again. And the gasp that Olivia had let out as she slid inside did nothing to dissuade her. With a roll of her hips, Natalia slowly withdrew from Olivia and then pressed back into her with a stroke as smooth and steady as she could make it. The pressure against her clit, the way that Olivia pushed back into her, made Natalia gasp. She rocked harder against Olivia, losing herself in the press of her body against Olivia's, the straps of the harness digging into her hips, the base of the dildo pressing against her. Natalia squirmed and pressed harder. It was all she could do to maintain some semblance of a rhythm in the haze of desire that consumed her.
Olivia pushed back against her just as wildly, her body sheened with sweat and straining with tension. The part of Natalia's brain that was still coherent thought that she was beyond magnificent. The rush of her own orgasm caught her by surprise, liquid fire spreading through her body, locking straining muscles with an intensity that she had never felt before, then sweeping her away. Relief, heady and raw, all the more surreal for the intensity of the moment before, replaced it and left her collapsed against Olivia, still trembling slightly as shudders flashed through her body. Natalia's skin felt incredibly sensitized and every inch of her body felt loose and drained as she struggled to catch her breath.
A pang of embarrassment caught Natalia as she attempted to push herself up on to her hands above Olivia once again. Coming first, before Olivia, seemed like such a teenage boy thing to do. She knew Olivia was still squirming with need, waiting for her to finish what she had started, and Natalia wanted to desperately. She just needed one more moment...
Olivia smiled up at Natalia. "I think you liked that."
Natalia snorted. "Olivia..."
"You're amazing," Olivia breathed out the simple words, effectively forestalling anything else Natalia could say. Then she leaned forward, raising herself up on her elbows. "And I think you like fucking me." She jerked her hips up against Natalia's as if to prove her point, a smug smile curving over her lips.
The movement sent a shudder through Natalia's still sensitized body. She responded by thrusting back against Olivia and had the pleasure of seeing the same ripple of pleasure jerk through Olivia. It took Natalia a moment to reestablish a smooth rhythm. She started slower than she had begun the first time and gradually began to increase the speed at which she thrust, the force behind it.
It was easier now that she was less driven than before, or driven in a different way. This time the demands of her own body had eased and she could focus more on what she was doing to Olivia. The breathy sighs that Olivia let out at a slight change of angle. The way she moaned when Natalia thrust just so. Best of all was the way she said Natalia's name, her voice low and tight, strangled with the throes of passion.
Between one thrust and the next, Olivia slid her hand between their bodies to stroke her own clit. It took Natalia a moment, but she managed to change her angle again to accommodate Olivia's hand. If it was possible, the sight of Olivia touching herself was even more of a turn-on then what Natalia was already doing. She didn't see it as a slight against what she was doing; there was no doubt that Olivia was enjoying it. But she loved that Olivia was so desperate, so wanton for what they were doing that she craved more, needed it to push her over the edge.
Natalia strove to match that need, pushing in harder, deeper than before, matching Olivia stroke for stroke until the tension in Olivia's body broke and she was coming, racked with waves of shudders that claimed her body completely. Natalia didn't stop until they slowed, until Olivia's hand stopped moving and Olivia lay limp and sated beneath her.
For a moment she stayed on top of Olivia, still inside her, unwilling - and maybe unable - to move. Natalia pressed her forehead against Olivia's shoulder and focused on just breathing. When she had mustered some energy, she withdrew from Olivia and rolled onto her side. Her fingers trembled as she struggled with the buckles, wanting to be comfortable again, to be close to Olivia with nothing between them.
"Let me," Olivia interrupted, putting a stilling hand on top of Natalia's.
How Olivia could be so steady-handed at the moment, Natalia wasn't sure, but Olivia managed to undo the straps with much less effort than it would have taken Natalia. When she had removed it, Natalia collapsed back onto the bed beside Olivia, the faint burn of muscles unused to being exerted in that way beginning to mingle with utter exhaustion and complete satiation.
"That was amazing," Olivia said softly, as she turned, rolling onto her side and laying her head on Natalia's chest, snuggling as close as she could. There was a short breath of expectant silence and then Olivia raised her head to look up at Natalia. "What about you? How was that for you? Something you want to try again or..."
Natalia put a finger over Olivia's lips and then once silenced, covered them with her own.
"Oh yeah," she murmured when they finally separated. "More than once."
"Yeah?" Olivia repeated, needing confirmation still, needing to hear one more time that Natalia was really okay with what they had done, that she had enjoyed it just as much as Olivia had.
"Yeah," Natalia affirmed. "Really." She leaned over until she could brush her nose against Olivia's. "I love you."
"I love you too," Olivia replied, leaning up to kiss Natalia gently. The depth of sincerity in her words caught at Natalia's heart. She hoped that feeling would never let her go. She didn't think it would, but she wasn't going to take any chances. She wanted to live and love and experience new things - good and bad - with Olivia Spencer for the rest of their lives. Natalia was going to cherish every second of it.