AN: My first Alvin and the Chipmunks story. Hopefully , you all like it!
Disclaimer: I'm not exactly sure who it is that owns them, but I do not own Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Truthfully, it wasn't until almost two months had passed that the thought even crossed Dave's mind.
For the past two months, things had actually been going extremely well. Now the adoptive father of not only his original three boys, but also three daughters as well, Dave could truthfully admit that he had been imagining that things would be a lot worse when he had agreed to take in the Chipettes. He had seen enough of his friends become fathers to little girls to know that, with the addition of a female child to the household, nothing would ever be the same. No longer was their home the 'cave of manliness.' Instead, depending on the day, their house could be anywhere from the magical forest of gumdrops to the valley where unicorns played. Instead of football and video games there were tea parties and royal balls. Seven layer dip became chocolate mud balls, and all white shirts were fair game for being turned pink.
In all, having a daughter, much less three, had never been on the top of Dave's 'to do list.' He was very happy with his three boys, thank you very much, and as far as he saw it, nothing needed to be changed.
Much to his surprise, although things did change after the girls joined their ever growing family, they actually seemed to change for the better.
Within a week of their arrival, their humble abode had gone from being a borderline pigsty to almost clean, all the children actually doing their chores properly rather then just stuffing their messes under the nearest piece of furniture. Bed time actually became a possibility, and the few grades they had from the classes they had actually taken over the school year were better then ever. Teachers had nothing bad to say about any of his children, and the Chipmunks' career was growing faster then ever.
In all, life was perfect.
Until the day that idea struck.
Now, despite the way Dave sometimes acted, he was not oblivious to many of the things that went on around him. He saw almost everything, but he just chose rather to ignore them. What was the use of yelling at Alvin every five minutes when most of the things he messed up were of no great importance? What was the point of worrying himself to death over the fact that it was quite obvious all of his adopted children had crushed on one another when there was very little he could actually do about it? And why even bother closing his door at night when he knew, just knew, that at one point or another, Theodore and Eleanor were sure to end up in his bed anyway, whether he wanted them to or not? So, while he never ignored his children, he did manage to file away their many little habits in the back of his mind and forget about them.
Until that day.
All in all, it had started out pretty normal. The kids had all gone to school, he had just finished up a conference call with the stadium owner that wanted to feature all six chipmunks together in one big show, and the morning news had given away to the multitude of random talk shows that often filled the silence what he did the chores that were too large for the children to do. Not, of course, because he liked the talk shows or anything, but because they often had vital information that pertained to his kids. of course he didn't care about the latest celebrity scandal, but if he just so happened to to hear why Lindsey was in jail this week while searching for the latest information on the Chipette's record sale, then so be it.
Luckily, it had turned out to be his day when, half way through folding laundry, one of the show host happened to bring up Alvin's and Brittany's names in the conversation. Setting the half done sheet to the side, he had turned up the volume in interest, eager to hear just what was going on in the media lives of his children.
"-Like the Chipettes have finally taken the number one spot from the Chipmunks with their rendition of 'Put Your Records On.' Now, Ted, here's something I don't totally understand. I get that the girls want their own careers and all, but why don't the Chimpmunks and the Chipettes just work together? I mean, come on! They're all siblings, just create one big family band and be done with it."
"Diane, I get what you're saying, but at the same time I'm completely lost. What do you mean, they're all siblings? The boys are siblings, and the girls are siblings, but they're not related to each other. They were all adopted by the same guy, which might be what you're thinking of, but they're actually separate families."
"Really? Guess that shows you just how invested into their personal lives I am. Don't get me wrong, I love their music, but they are kinda boring when Alvin isn't destroying the set of his concert every other show, you know? I just kinda assumed that the six of them were brothers and sisters. I mean, really, you would think that, considering how rare talking animals are in the wild, that the same genetic combination has to have something to do with it. You know, that really makes me wonder just how rare talking animals really are..."
As the conversation droned on to the newest subject, Dave couldn't help but feel as if he was trapped, his heart slamming an unwanted tattoo against his chest as his breathing began to come closer and closer to hyperventilating. Hearing it put like that, thrown out into the open with no warning, it was obvious that there was no denying that what the show hosts had said were true. Haw many animals in the world could there be that could actually talk? As far as he knew, there were only six. And the fact that they were all so similar just made his situation all the worse.
How many times had he had to break up the small arguments Brittany and Alvin would often get into, both of them showing the exact same levels of pigheadedness that could normally only be found within brothers and sisters? How many times had he watched Jeanette and Simon work on totally different projects, only for them to come up with the exact the same solutions on how to solve them? How many times had he stood there and watched as Theodore and Eleanor worked together to create what could be considered a culinary masterpiece, only in chipmunk-sized portions? How many times had he been tempted to just hem one of the girl's dresses and call it a shirt or add some cloth to the bottom of one of the boy's shirts and call it a dress, for it would have so much easier to just exchange their clothes then make new ones?
How many times had he almost called one of his children by their opposite gender counterpart, and had only just caught himself in time?
How many times had he told the press over these past two months that they were one big happy family?
What if he had been unknowingly telling the truth?
A feeling of horror fell over Dave as he pondered this newest conundrum in his life, his mind racing with a thousand thoughts that all seemed to end at one conclusion, no matter how he wished they wouldn't. The idea that the Chipmunks and the Chipettes were siblings was just far too great.
It took him an hour, but Dave finally knew what he had to to.
It took three months for the results to arrive.
And everyday had been Hell in a handbag for poor Dave.
It hadn't taken him long to find the strands of hairs he had needed, pulling a clump them from the lining of one of Alvin's hoodies and Brittany's hairbrush. Nor had it taken him long to research a genetic clinic that would do the testing he asked of them with no questions asked. When specially made packaging had come a few nerve wracking days later, he had carefully labeled each tuff with an 'A' and a 'B,' slid them into the box with a hastily made check, and had sent it off with a sigh of relief and a heart attack just waiting to happen. Then it had just been a matter of waiting.
Waiting, and recording every similarity between his children that he could find, screwing with his mind even more as, with each passing day, he became more and more convinced that things were about fall apart around him.
And now was the moment of truth. The kids were settled down in front of the television, arguing about which movie they would finally watch before it was time for bed, completely forgetting about his presence in the kitchen as they chose sides between the 'blow-everything-up-in-the-most-impressive-way-possible' movie and the 'mind-numbingly-adorable-romance' movie. There was no way he would be interrupted.
Hands shaking, Dave slowly peeled open the tab that kept the envelope closed, his fingers prolonging the moment for as long as they could, careful not to rip the container that held their future. To soon, far to soon for his liking, the tri-folded piece of paper was in his tremblings palms, taunting him with his information, with it's promise of solving the puzzle that had been tormenting him for the past three months.
Jumping at the sudden intrusion, Dave whirled towards the sound, his hands automatically flying behind his back to hide the half unfolded the sheet. Seeing that it was Theodore that had walked in upon him, a sigh of relief made its way from his lips, glad that it was his most impressionable and trusting son that had found him with his secret.
"What is is, Theodore?"
"Well, Jeanette found a movie that had romance, comedy, and explosions in it, so everyone agreed that we could watch that one today. I was wondering if you wanted to come join us. Then we could watch it as a family."
A small smile crossing his face, Dave carefully reached down to pick up Theodore, gently cradling the most innocent of his children in the palm of his hands. Placing him onto the counter, Dave made a show out of pulling out a extra-large packet of extra buttery popcorn, much to the chipmunk's delight. Tapping the side of his nose, a wink thrown in as a sign to keep it secret, Dave watched as Theodore happily scurried off to tell the news of his imminent arrival to his friends and siblings, his smile growing with each squeaky voice he heard join into the conversation.
Pulling the paper he had slid into his back pocket out, Dave couldn't help but sigh as he stared at it, the ever growing sound of the popping corn working to become the rhythm of his thoughts.
Open. Pop. It. Pop. Open it. Pop pop. Open it open it. Pop pop pop pop. Open it. Pop pop. No. Beep.
Crinkling the sheet of paper in his hand into a ball, Dave let out a barking laugh as he threw it at the trashcan, his shot all net as it entered with an almost inaudible thud.
Carefully pulling out the popcorn, Dave quickly made his way into the living room, where the six children he had come to love as his own were waiting for him, the movie paused on the opening title. Settling in between them, the tension that had been his life slow faded away as the almost none-existent plot of the show moved before them, the children that were snuggled up against his sides laughing and gasping as the jokes and kisses were replaced with explosions and gun fights.
And truthfully, Dave had never been more happier then in that moment, surrounded by his family, all thoughts of them actually being related driven from his mind.
Because truthfully, he didn't want to know. His family, as far as he was concerned, was already enough trouble without added drama interfering in their lives.
And if they were related, then they would cross that bridge when they came to it.