Percy prodded his eggs with a fork. Poke. Poke. It was Monday and as all Mondays feel the need to be, it wasn't a nice day. Thick grey clouds loomed above the invisible barrier that blocked out unwanted weather. Monday was also the start of the week (officially to everyone but the calendar who claimed Sunday to be so) and Percy couldn't very well enjoy his breakfast having in mind what the start of the week brought. Speaking of which, where was Grover?
"Peeeeerrrrrccyyyy" speak of the devil. Grover Underwood, a curly-haired, pubescent satyr slid into the vacant across from Percy; His infamous, eco-friendly clipboard in hand and an apologetic smile above his weak chin. "It's that time of the month again!" he attempted to say blithely
"Dude you know how many werewolves and females would have freaked out at that statement?" Percy pointed out
"Oh, yeah I did word that wrong didn't I? And eww Percy, dirty mind" Grover wrinkled his nose. Percy shrugged
"What's so gross about a full moon?" Grover shot him a 'you-know-what-I-meant' look "Fine, sorry"
"You should be. Stop trying to avoid this; I'm doing this to help you. You ready?" Grover eyed the eggs. Percy held up a finger to signal for his friend to wait a second and took a large swig of cobalt-blue cherry coke. Percy knew he would need sugar and fizz… oh so much… Percy made a hand gesture for Grover to continue.
"Alright at 12:00 everybody at camp is going to betray you and favor your half-brother over you who happens to be your age, completely ignoring the prophecy, and you're going to be recruited by Chaos"
"Isn't that the void thing?" Grover looked amused
"Yes the 'void thing'. You're going to be is head officer or whatever for 500,000 years while everyone at camp is turned immortal. You will be forced go back to Earth to help defeat the primordial gods, the titans, and the gigantes"
"At 4:00 you're going to play Truth or Dare in the middle of the day with the camp councilors. Thalia and Nico are going to admit their undying love for each other. You and Annabeth are going to get all gushy and blush like mad at every comment thrown your way. Travis is going to prank call Ares and Clarisse is going to go up to Mr. D to tell him he looks like pretty princess"
"Seriously? That's the best they can come up with? And what about camp duties?"
"Ask the fanficiton authors"
"No they creep me out. What the Hades is Percabeth by the way?"
"Perce they're teenage girls you don't honestly expect me to understand them…"
"No, no of course not. Anything else?"
"Yeah. At 10:30 you're going to have a forbidden romance with Artemis thus producing a mary-sue child"
"Zeus is going to kill me"
"Point taken. Tomorrow at 4:00am you're going to the past to read a book series about you to the gods. They are going to, fortunately for you, act completely unserious and out of character and not at all godly"
"Well damn that's early"
"At the campfire that same night Apollo is going to pop out of nowhere"
"And announce a karaoke competition where you'll belt out lyrics and everyone is going to have great singing voices" Grover continued as if he hadn't heard Percy "At 7:45 on Wednesday everybody is going to be mortal and go to Goode High school. Thalia is going to be girly and fall head over heels for Nico; apparently they're compatible and made for each other considering they're both 'goffik'. You're going to be the most popular boy in school and Rachel will be posed as the school bitch"
"Why Rachel? She's so nice. Volunteering for animals and art associations and other charities and all"
"Not to mention risking her life by flying into a war zone just to help you out" Grover added. That's going to take all day. Thursday you'll be kidnapped, stuck inside a fan's mind/ evil lair, and forced to do things"
"What kind of things?"
"Eviiiillll things" Grover joked in a spooky voice, wiggling his fingers, arms raised.
"After lunch you'll be at the Roman camp, right where Rick Riordan left off and have a heartfelt reunion with Annabeth"
"Let me guess. She's going to sob into my shoulder and act very un-Annabeth-y"
"Precisely. After that you'll be writing your complaints to the fanfiction authors"
"Well those are okay. Even though they're usually only one sentence long"
"There's the spirit! On Friday you'll discover you have a twin sister who'll be the key to saving the world" Grover snorted very un-Groverly and said "Then lastly after that you have a crossover! You and some other demigods will be heading to Hogwarts and do a demonstration!"
"Yay, maybe I'll get Avada Kedavra'd" Percy said dreading the work that was up for him this week "How much time do I have till it all starts?" Grover pretended to check his 'watch' then said
"It should start in three hours but things have never really worked in your favor" Just then they heard a squeal behind them. It was Annabeth. Sur, why not?
"OMFG ITS ADAM! THE SON OF POSEIDON! OMIGODS OMIGODS .GOOODDDSSS! EEEEKKK!" She jumped up and down on the balls of her feet
"He's sooo hot right now!" Piper was drooling
"I want. To. Get. IN. HIS. PANTS!" Thalia growled, a hungry lust in her eyes
"I know right! Lets make him camp leader!" Chiron offered excited. Suddenly there was a flash of lightning and all twelve Olympians plus Hades stood there with proud looks on their faces
"Adam my favorite son!" bellowed Poseidon
Percy rubbed his temples as Grover winced at the high octaves of the admirer's voices
This was going to be a long week.