"Sealand, will you please take a break from the internet?" England asked from the kitchen.
"Just give me a minute," Sealand said watching time go down on the online auction on EBay. In less than a minute Sealand would be the proud owner of a mini fridge.
"Fine, I'll just get somebody else to do this favor for me," England called annoyed from the kitchen.
"You need a favor?" Sealand asked looking up from his computer. "As in you actually need my help?"
"That should be implied in what I just said," England stated.
"Will you recognize me if I do this favor for you?" Sealand asked as somebody in Puerto Rico raised the bid up a quarter.
"Of course not! One favor does not make you a country," England spat from the kitchen. "I just need this simple errand done. I can't do it myself because I'm currently cooking-"
"Awesome! I'll certainly get that errand done for you!" Sealand happily called out cutting England's rant off.
"This is not going to make you a country," England stated as Sealand left his computer, no longer caring if that Puerto Rican guy won the mini fridge, to join his brother in the kitchen.
"I'll do a fine job on whatever errand it is you want done," Sealand said as he stood proudly in front of England.
"I need you to deliver this basket to that French frog." England gestured to the gift basket on the kitchen table.
"What's in it?" Sealand asked, picking it up. "Its awfully heavy whatever it is."
"That is none of your business," England said almost too quickly, giving Sealand the impression that his brother was hiding something.
"You will delivery this basket unopened to France," England lectured.
"Yes sir," Sealand said using the hand not holding the basket to salute. "I won't let you down. I'll do such a good job that you will want to recognize me. You'll see. I'm going-"
"Yeah, whatever. Just get that basket delivered already," England said annoyed turning back to stirring his pot of something inedible looking.
"I won't let you down. You'll see," Sealand said opening the back door.
"Wait! Do you even know how to get to France's house from here?" England asked before Sealand could leave.
"I'm sure I'll be able to find my way. I do have my own compass," Sealand stated pulling out a compass from his pants pocket.
"I'll draw you map," England said abandoning stirring whatever it was he was trying to cook.
"That wouldn't be necessary. I'm sure that my trusty compass will show me how to get there. You don't have to waste time drawing me a map."
"I'm going to draw you a map. I don't want this delivery to be late because you got lost," England said opening a drawer next to the stove to get a paper and pencil.
"Well if you insist," Sealand said as England began drawing out a map on the kitchen counter.
"Now look here," England said pointing to the house he just drew. "This is where you are right now."
"Okay," Sealand said looking at the drawing as England labeled the house "The United Kingdom" to make the map clearer.
"Now this is the fastest path to France's house," England said, drawing a path.
"How do you know it's the fastest?"
"That's none of your business," England said almost too quickly, giving Sealand the impression that he had taken many trips on many different routes to France. "Now do you see the path I just drew?"
"On this path you're going to have to go through this part of the sea," England said drawing a sea onto the map.
"That looks easy. I'll just use my country to cross it!"
"After you cross that part of the sea you will need to go through a small part of woods," England said, resisting the urge to remind Sealand that he doesn't have a country.
"The woods aren't very big so just walk straight through," England stated drawing the woods onto the map.
"After you get passed the woods there will be a small French village." England began drawing a few houses to represent the village.
"Don't talk to anybody in the village. They're all French and very obnoxious, so don't waste your time talking to them."
"Got it! Don't talk to French people."
"Once you past the village, follow this river until you see a tacky looking mansion," England said added a river onto the map.
"Tacky looking mansion?"
"France's house. You remember what it looks like right?"
"Yes, it's very tacky and showy looking."
"Good, now once you get to France's house give him the basket and come back here. Whatever you do don't go inside his house. Got it?" England said drawing another house onto the map.
"Yes sir," Sealand said as England labeled the house "Frog's house".
"Good, now take this map and come back as soon as possible." England handed Sealand the map. "Dinner should be ready when you get back."
"Yes sir," Sealand said folding the map and putting it in his pocket. "I'll be on my way now."
"Wait, before you go I want you to have something," England said stopping Sealand from walking out the door again.
"You want me to have something?" Sealand asked. England giving him a gift seemed very out of character for him.
"Yes, I would feel much better if you wore my old cloak," England said opening another drawer.
"Your old cloak?" This kind of kindness was definitely out of character for his brother.
"Here it is," England cheered pulling out a red cape from the drawer.
"Do you keep everything in this kitchen?"
"I used to wear this all the time when I was around your age," England said unfolding the cape and ignoring Sealand's question.
"You want me to wear that?"
"Yes, it's bright red so traffic will see you. And it will keep you warm if the weather decides to dramatically change," England said with his voice full of admiration as he handed the cape to Sealand.
"Wow, you never gave me something of yours before," Sealand said, eyes lighting up as he rubbed the cape between his fingers.
"Put it on," England ordered.
"What do you think?" Sealand asked turing around.
"Wow, it fits you perfectly. Now go deliver the basket and don't get into any trouble that I will have to clean up."
"Don't worry. Everything will go smoothly. I'll be back just in time for dinner," Sealand ensured as he opened the door to leave.
"You better be. I'm making a new kind of stew for dinner that uses a lot of fish and vinegar."
"See you when I get home," Sealand said as he walked out the back door.
Well this is the first chapter of my "Little Red Riding Hood" based story. Its starring Sealand cause I thought he looked awesome in Paint it White.
Don't forget to review. I'll love to hear input on who the wolf should be.
Carm: I started another parody. I sent ya the first chapter
Carm: I'm decorated for Christmas
Me: Are you? Do you have bulbs on your head and garland around your neck?
Carm: Are you watching me?
Never assume someone means decorating for Christmas