In The End
(set about four months after where the first series ended. i don't own anything, i'm only borrowing.)
You wake up one morning feeling absolutely crap. Your head is banging, you think you've got the starting signs of the flu and to be honest you just can't be bothered getting out of bed.
You consider phoning in sick and not bothering to turn up for a few days. You're arrogant, headstrong and somewhat self-righteous, but as much as you hate to admit it, you know that Alan isn't stupid and would see right through your act.
He'd probably have a freak-out over the phone and call you all the lying bitches under the sun. It would leave you feeling empty and alone, with an ache where your heart should be.
Unrequited love sucks, doesn't it Annie?
The next day you regret all the nights you spent awake creating 'what-if' scenarios and imagining yourself with him in the future.
You come into work drunk off your head and he hurls abuse at how you're childish and immature and you never take anything seriously. You scream back at him, telling him that he's a pushy, obnoxious prat who needs to go and fuck himself. He tells you to piss off and not to come back until you've earned some respect. In response you stick the middle finger up in his face and storm out, making sure to inflict your bad mood on the surroundings.
You make a personal promise that you'll never set foot back in that building until you've received a verbal apology from him. You're going to gather up what's left of your pride and start afresh.
You don't need him to survive.
Besides, it wasn't like you were ever properly together.
Three months later you've lost sight of the person you used to be. You go out drinking and partying most nights, not really caring what other people make of you.
You have a new boyfriend (if you could even call them that) every week and none of them particularly mean anything to you. You live for the hype of being drunk and having a new sleeping partner, and nothing much else matters to you. You don't have a job, you're most likely going to be evicted from your flat if you don't start paying rent, you're slowly going to destroy your liver with the amount of drink you pour down your throat every day and quite frankly you couldn't give a shit.
If you wanted a job you would go to the job centre or whatever it's called, if you needed money you would take up prostitution and to be honest, you couldn't care less if you died.
Your life is already destroyed as it is.
Six months come and go at the speed of lightning.
You're on drugs, you're a well-known face at all your local clubs and pubs, but that's just a front. Deep down you're depressed and lonely, and the only thing that could take that awful feeling away from you is cocaine. You find it extremely ironic that you used to arrest people for doing drugs, and now you're doing them yourself.
You know full well that you're ruining your own life and one day, sooner or later, you're going to take too much and end up on the post-mortem table that you've come to know so well.
It's only a matter of time.
Eight months have come and gone, and nothing has changed.
You hit the self-destruct button every single night and you honestly can't remember the last time you smiled properly. You don't have any friends and your family aren't worth bothering with. You've always been certain you were a mistake, passed from pillar to post from the day you were born. You thought when you grew up you would find someone and live happily ever after, but the joke was on you because all you've done is turn into the person you swore you would never, ever become.
That's karma for you though.
After ten months you're fed up of being dependent on drugs and alcohol.
You've swore to yourself on so many occasions that you would sober up and seek out getting your job back. After all, you didn't pass all those exams for the good of your health, did you? But somehow you could never stay sober for more than a day or two. All it took was seeing a bottle of vodka in the supermarket and you were back to the woman you despised so much.
You were convinced your life was basically over, and you were contemplating suicide. If you were six feet under the ground, it would be better for everyone, especially yourself.
Besides, it wasn't like anyone would miss you.
After almost a year of no contact with your old work colleagues - and that's all they ever were; they were NEVER your friends - you bump into Alan in a pub out of town.
Strangely enough, his greeting was a big hug followed by a long chat. It seems odd to you, because he couldn't stand the sight of you when you were working for him.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and for once in your sorry life you agree.
Pretty soon the feelings you thought were dead and buried return and you find yourself lusting after the way he makes you feel.
You're back to staying up for the most part of the night creating situations that somewhere deep inside you knew would probably never happen. You find yourself grinning from ear to ear when his name comes up on your phone and you long to hear his voice.
After a year of hell, you've finally found a reason to carry on.
A year and five months pass, and pretty soon the pair of you are inseparable.
He's your best friend and you're not ashamed to admit it. Being truthful, he's the most decent friend you've ever had. He's a good guy, and you genuinely believe he cares about you a lot more than you both let on. You're 99.9% sure that he loves you back, and you pass subtle hints that he only needs to say the word.
You've broke free of your alcoholism and your drug habit, and you really couldn't be happier if you tried.
Then he eventually tells you.
He's met someone, a woman named Helen, and he's going to Australia for three months with her. The past five months instantly mean nothing to you and you freak out, yelling at him to go and leave you alone. He stands in the doorway with a puzzled look on his face, stunned at your sudden outburst. When he goes you lie on the couch with a bottle of vodka and cry yourself to sleep. Nothing else matters to you.
You just want him to love you.
You're back to square one.
Instead of drinking and doing drugs (you're better than that) you mostly just cry. You fall into depression, and you hate yourself for it. You used to scoff at women who needed a man to survive, and now you've become one yourself. He's been gone for over three months, with no contact whatsoever. You try to pretend that you don't care, but all you need to do is hear his name and you know that you do and you're not fooling anyone.
Not even yourself.
And then, seven months after he left, he turns up out of the blue on your doorstep.
He tells you that it didn't work out between him and Helen, that it their relationship didn't turn out the way he initially planned. You pretend to be sympathetic for him, but deep down you feel happy. You're ashamed to admit it, but you're glad. Not that Helen treated him like crap, but that you finally have a chance with him.
After all, you've waited long enough.
A month later he confesses his love to you.
You're at his place, having a drink when he suddenly looks awkward. You ask him what's wrong and he bites his lip anxiously. You start to get worried that he's going to go away again, because you don't think you could take it if he left you this time. You buck up enough courage to ask him and he looks at you in a way you've never seen before. Then he takes a deep breath and tells you he loves you.
At first you're stunned (wouldn't anyone be) but then you tilt your head and smile at him. You don't say anything back, but instead you walk to the front door and open it. You watch as he follows you like a lost dog, his face having the classic 'rejection' look on it. You raise your eyebrow so far up that it disappears into your hairline and you turn around, acting as if you are about to leave.
He grabs your elbow and pulls you towards him and in response you lean up and kiss him tenderly. When both your lips meet he puts his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him. You respond to the kiss, gently at first but soon becoming rougher and more passionate.
You open your eyes and pull away, leaving him with a smile.
Three days later you sleep together for the first time.
He's gentle and loving, unlike so many of your previous partners. When it's over he holds you against him and kisses your head, promising that he'll always love you and take care of you. You don't respond, but instead bury your face into his chest and smile, thanking whoever was up there watching over you.
It must have been the miracle that you wished upon a star for a few nights ago.
Nine weeks later you discover that you're pregnant - with Alan's child.
You're not sure how he's going to take it, after all he has two grown-up children of his own to think about. You spend almost an hour pacing up and down the bedroom floor, anxiously waiting for him to finish work. You want the baby more than you've ever wanted anything, and it would be the end of your world if he didn't.
He comes home round about half past five looking fed up and tired. You feel your heart drop but you chance telling him anyway. You walk up to him and stare blankly before telling him that he's going to be a dad again. His face breaks into a massive grin and he picks you up and spins you round and round leaving you feeling dizzy and giggling like a little girl.
That night you go to bed feeling happier than you've ever done in a long time. Feeling his arms around you, you snuggle into him, place a hand on your flat stomach and think about your unborn child. He or she would probably have your blonde hair and his green eyes. His no-nonsense attitude and your headstrong personality.
It would be the cherry on the cake after all that you've been through together.
Besides, you got your happy ending after all.
& that's it! longest story i've ever attempted to write. i don't own anything, all characters go to their original owner & no copyright infringement is intended. keep it in mind that i've only ever seen part 1 & 2 of aftermath & cold as the grave so my character personalities will be a little sketchy. leave a review telling me what you think, i'll accept all feedback as long as it's not too hateful(: