Another de-anon.

Original request:

Something happens to make Italy and Germany switch bodies and they are unsure of what to do with their new bodies. How will their brothers react, how will they return to their bodies, and how do the others react to see Italy chug beer and Germany carry around a white flag?

Bonus: sex, with Germany topping in Italy's body.
Bonus: They don't want anyone knowing but somehow -Prussia's fault- people find out.

…I'm probably going to leave smut out of this and then upload an exclusive smut thing here, because I personally want Italy to try and top.


Ludwig had been greeted with a very unpleasant sight that morning. He'd woken up in his own bed, under his own blankets, with his own pillows, in his own room in his own house. It wasn't right though. Something seemed off.

That wasn't the weird part, though.

The first thing he noticed was a strange, faint breeze where there should not have been one. He admitted quietly, to himself, that this breeze was not entirely unwelcome, but it was definitely unusual.

It took him a total of fifteen seconds to realize that he was naked, and he was more than a little certain that he had not been the previous night.

Brushing a bit of hair out of his face (it was getting long again; he'd have to get a haircut soon), he rolled over to look at Feliciano, who undoubtedly had slept in his bed again. Never mind that they were officially together, the boy's obsession with sharing a bed was a bit concerning.

What met him when he turned over was entirely unwelcome.

He was staring at the back of a rather large man's head, every last hair a fine, natural blond. His build was muscular and sturdy, and his sides rose and fell gently. He wore a black tank top, stretched over his muscles, and if he had not had all the blankets, it would have revealed that he was wearing only a light pair of boxers as covering for his lower regions.

Ludwig squeezed his eyes shut tightly, because he was not lying in bed with himself. Or a clone. Or... Whatever else it could be.

Something floated in his vision, out of the corner of his left eye, forcing him to tear his eyes away from the thingnext to him.

It was a wild strand of hair that seemed to have flown away from the rest of his bed head. Without making a sound, he brought his hand to brush it back into place.

Bad idea.

He bit his lip to keep a moan from escaping, scaring himself. His eyes flew open at this, and he sat up quickly. He didn't want to wake whatever was lying in the bed next to him, but he had a sneaking suspicion that that was only half of his problem.

The other man shifted slightly, turning over. Ludwig froze. Slowly, blue eyes opened, gazing sleepily at him, making him feel somewhat more uncomfortable than before.

"Ve?"

Fuck no.

"Wie?"

"There is another me?" asked the one who was, without a doubt, Feliciano.

Ludwig shook his head quickly, throwing the little blanket he had on off, then standing quickly from the bed.

Then he understood the situation.

"You're me and I'm you!" Ludwig said suddenly, so shocked he could hardly find the words. Or maybe that was a side effect of being in the Italian's body.

Oh. That was worse than being naked in his own body. He blushed. At least Feliciano had taken care of that condition of his. He was thankful or that, at least.

"Hmm?" asked Feliciano, blinking as he sat up, stretching like a cat. It would have been cute if he were in his own body. "Who are you?"

How dense was he?

"Ludwig," murmured the German, clearing his throat. He didn't like how his voice sounded. It sounded like him, the same manner and tone, but the pitch was all wrong and so very Feliciano.

"I am you?" asked the Italian, looking down at himself. His expression stayed the same for a moment, but his hands were suddenly moving, and he was blushing a bit.

What the hell was he doing?

Feliciano lifted the black tank top and leaned back, feeling up the washboard abs, fingers slowly inching up to the hard, perfectly sculpted pecs.

"What are you doing?" asked Ludwig, alarmed. "Stop that!"

With a soft blush, Feliciano tugged the tank top back down, giving a tiny, nervous laugh. "Sorry. I just love your body, Ludi~!"

The German man folded his arms tightly, scowling. Feliciano thought he looked an awful lot like Lovino, but he bit his lip, ignoring the resemblance. He couldn't remember a time he'd ever worn an expression like that.

"Ludi... Are you going to put some clothes on?" asked Feliciano, diverting his eyes to Ludwig's face. He didn't particularly mind, himself, but Ludwig always got after him when he ran around naked, so...

Ludwig blushed as well and quickly turned around. "I'll just... Ja, I'm going to find something to wear."

Feliciano smiled and jumped out of bed happily, following Ludwig to his own room, where he never actually slept except for during siesta. "I want to help!"

"I can do it myself," grunted the German, frowning. Feliciano rarely dressed himself as it was. Even on his better days, Feliciano still didn't know how to tie his own shoelaces.

"Okay..." murmured the Italian quietly.

Ludwig pushed into Feliciano's room, searching for something suitable to wear. He settled on a dress shirt an tie, along with slacks and a nice pair of shoes that Feliciano had picked out despite the German man's qualms.

"There's a meeting today," Ludwig said finally, examining himself in the mirror.

He turned a couple of angles, sticking his hands in his pockets, then inspected the state his hair was in. He sighed an left it, not sure of what to do.

Feliciano decided to remedy this. Ludwig was not going to walk around looking like he just rolled out of bed. Had he been in his own body, even if he had just rolled out of bed, he certainly would not looklike it. He brushed his fingers through Ludwig's hair before he could protest, taking extra, special care to avoid that little curl. When he decided he'd done a satisfactory job, he stood back, smiling at the German.

"...Uh... Danke..." mumbled Ludwig, looking past him distractedly.

"No," interjected Feliciano, leaning down to look Ludwig in the eye (which was really, really cool because he was always shorter than Germany and it was just so cool being taller), giving a small smile. "Say 'grazie.'"

The younger man frowned in confusion but opened his mouth obediently anyway. "'Grazie?'"

"Si~ Like before! You be Italy, and I'll be Germany!"

Ludwig nodded, considering this. "...It will be our little secret."

"Or it could be a game! We won't tell anyone, and whoever gives it away loses!" whispered Feliciano excitedly.

"...It isn't really a game at all. Look, if we present ourselves as who we are, meaning you as yourself, and me as myself, people are going to think we're as crazy as Arthur is. I have... had... very important business to attend to today... You won't have to speak to anyone, but you will have to make an appearance," Ludwig mumbled. "Nobody can find out. No matter what the cost, alright?"

Feliciano nodded understandingly, standing up straight again as Gilbert strolled into the room, looking for Ludwig.

"West!" he said suddenly, slinging his arms around Feliciano happily. "Who's my favorite little brother in the whole world?"

Ludwig masked a scowl, fighting the urge to respond negatively.

"I-I'm your only brother..." murmured Feliciano, bewildered. Not that he minded Gilbert having his arms all over him (he was used to excessive touching, it meant nothing to him.), but he hadn't expected such a greeting.

Gilbert made a whining noise of disapproval at being corrected, but it was all in good humor. "You can still be my favorite little brother. Either way I just love you so much~!"

"V-ve?"

Now Feliciano was confused. He was very lucky Gilbert wasn't listening very closely, or else he would have caught him right away.

"What do you mean 'how?'" asked Gilbert. "I just wanted to know if my favorite little brother in the whole world wanted to please make breakfast for me!"*

'Sothat'sit...'Ludwig thought to himself, taking a seat on the bed idly. He kicked his feet lightly. That seemed like something the Italian would do.

"Sure," replied Feliciano, just a bit too cheerily. "I don't mind."

"What? Really?" It became evident that Gilbert had not really expected him to agree. If it were Ludwig, he wouldn't have, even though it was just a little bit more effort.

Gilbert had to learn to stop mooching off of him so much. Honestly, Gilbert teased Roderich for his freeloading tendencies, an he was just as bad. At least Roderich contributed to something-or-other as a nation. Gilbert, recently reinstated as a micronation, still contributed to nothing.

Feliciano nodded and turned away, still undressed.

Dammit. Ludwig stood quickly and tugged on Feliciano's hand before he could leave. He lowered his voice do that Gilbert wouldn't hear. "Put some clothes on first."

Then for Gilbert, he added a "Ti amo, Ludi~," cursing himself inwardly.

"I'll be in the kitchen in a few, okay?" offered Feliciano, glancing over his shoulder at the Prussian.

Gilbert nodded dumbly, then frowned as the two left the room.

"Something's up," he grumbled, exiting as well.

When the smell of breakfast finally began drifting throughout the house, there was definitely something wrong.

Was that... Marinara? What on earth was he making...?

Pasta.


Note: Gilbert heard "ve" to be "wie" which means "how" in German. I'm told that in Germany, you don't say "excuse me?" if you misheard someone or something, you would say "how?" That's just what I've heard from someone who used to live in Germany, I honestly don't really know. I may be wrong.