I feel like it's ridiculous that there are so few fanfictions devoted to SugiXTamamin. Actually, I feel like it's ridiculous that the author sunk their ship, I mean in the chapter where Sugi is talking about picking a favorite, the subtext was so obvious it was almost painful. So instead of doing my homework like I should be, I'm gonna try and write this piece. So yeah. Please review, especially if you want me to continue :3
More than This
Satoko Sugiyama sighs, her chin resting on the open palm of her hand, her eyes aimed out the window.
It's such a stupid, childish thing, really, she has no idea why she's so…not depressed, not quite, but…indifferent.
When had it stopped entertaining her to play their hearts (like a violin)? And since when (since when) had she longed for any part of something more serious?
Someone I can love forever, hmm…?
She knows without hesitation that none of her (five) boyfriends was 'the one'; she feels like she's known that all along.
"Even if you become an old spinster, I'll stick together with you in the old folks' home!"
Sugi sighs again, her cheeks flushing just the slightest bit. Tamamin…
Sometimes her small, exuberant friend can be so painfully naïve- as if they will remain friends for the rest of their lives. This is high school, and everything outside of it is…something that she (secretly) isn't quite ready to face. Not yet. But for some reason, those words coming from the mouth that was smiling so brilliantly (innocently) was enough to make Sugi forget her worries for the moment.
She said naïve, but for such a cute girl, Tamamin really is the farthest thing from inexperienced. Mari and Akko, she thinks, have them beat by a mile in that respect. Those two always manage to bring a smile to her face- so young, so hopelessly lost in each other.
Shaking the stray thought from her head, Sugi's thoughts drift once more to those nights at Akko's place, at the mixers, at the bars that Sugi always managed to get them into… They were hazy, sweet-scented and vodka-flavored, and she still remembers that first night.
"Sugi, what are you-"
A finger pressed to warm, sticky lips.
A whine, a protest-
"But I don't-"
Silence, a kiss.
"Everyone does it, Tamamin."
Sugi's hand tightens just faintly around the pencil clutched in her hand. Why is she remembering now? What does it matter, how it started?
It's not like it means anything, when it happens.
And it's okay, because everyone does it.
And sometimes Sugi thinks that the reason she does it (still) is that it doesn't have to mean anything. The rest of the world can wait until the morning, and in the morning she'll wake up and decide which of her boyfriends' arms she'll spend the day in, and what happened the night before doesn't have to mean anything.
Shaking her head slightly, Sugi blinks herself back to the topic at hand- and why is she so unfocused today?
Five boyfriends- it was every teenage girl's dream, right alongside Prince Charming, and she's never had any problems living like this before. But now there's this emptiness- not quite an aching- where her happiness used to be, and Sugi doesn't know how to fill it, only thinks that maybe having one person, a special person, might help her understand.
"Don't you think it's time for you to pick a favorite?"
She takes out her phone and sends out a group text message and waits for the replies that she knows will come, and hopes that maybe, just maybe, everything will make sense again.
Thinking too much- who wants to come rescue me? ;)