~For KitsuneAmbassator! I was actually surprised. This is my first Crocodile fic. X) Hope I did well! Don't own Check My Brain by Alice In Chains or One Piece!~

Check My Brain

Xavior had an aura that could part the seas of people like a knife through butter. She kept her eyes anywhere but people's faces as she plowed through them, her sunglasses hiding the mismatched eyes that seemed to identify her anywhere. She was at least a head taller then everyone, heading for the hotel down the street as she tugged at the purple tee and black sarong she wore over her tan muscled skin. Looking at her, one would expect her to be some sort of tourist almost, coming inland to see the sights and view the world. Instead, she was one of the world's deadliest bounty hunters, her lean tan body built for killing and killing alone.

Or at least, that's what she thought.

She ducked her blue head under the entrance, too tall even for the doorway. Her eyes scanned the lobby, but she didn't take the shades off. There was no need to alarm people. She pulled her blue hair over her shoulder, feeling it cascade down the front. There was no sign of the man she was waiting for. Typical. Mr. 0 always liked to keep people waiting. She walked past the casino part, viewing the poor suckers losing their money for the cause of a revolution, feeling indifferent at their plight. It was their money. If they weren't smart enough to hold onto it, they didn't need it. She leaned against the bar, intent on getting a drink if he insisted on making her wait.


Xavior looked up to see a woman shorter than her, but equally as mysterious, smiling as if the world was made of candy canes and marshmallows. "Yes?" She said softly.

"I'm Miss All Sunday. If you could ah…follow me?" She put out her hand for a handshake.

Xavior stared at it, a little bit of social anxiety kicking in. Did she want money?

Miss All Sunday put down her hand, her smile not wavering though Xavior had done something incredibly rude. "Nice to know I have the right person." She commented lightly, turning. "Follow me." She insisted again, walking towards the back.

Xavior decided it was best to ignore the comment, though it needled her slightly. Just who did this woman think she was? She followed her up a winding staircase behind a door marked 'employees only', trying to slow her gait down. The woman she was following was much smaller and Xavior was almost stepping on her on their trip towards the top.

Miss All Sunday opened the doors in a grandeur gesture, revealing a room with steps leading down and a large bananadile lounging next to a throne where, in the shadows, sat Crocodile. Smoke filtered towards her as he gestured with his good hand for her to proceed.

Xavior noted Miss All Sunday closing the doors behind her, disappearing back outside the quarters of the master behind all the civil disputes in Alabasta. She walked down the stairs with a slow easy gait, casually taking in his appearance.

"I like the shades." He drawled, his deep voice reverberating through the chamber.

The bananadile showed a slight flicker of interest in her, its tail sliding across the floor as it repositioned itself. She looked like an easy meal.

Xavior also noted this, folding her arms as she stood in front of Crocodile, watching his black eyes go over her body with a perverseness that almost made her smirk. "You didn't meet me in the lobby like you said."

"I'm trying to keep my public appearances to a minimum." He lied, leaning forward. "You've grown up some, since I saw you. Still chasing after Doflamingo?"

Xavior's exterior went from cautiously cold to a heated bitterness. "Shut up." She snarled and death was promised in those two words.

He laughed as his pet gave out a low guttural sound, convinced that Xavior was going to attack. "Look, you scared my bananadile!"He smirked, leaning back. "I asked you to come here to offer some information about him."

"Oh?" Xavior tried not to look too earnest.

"But you're going to have to do me a favor first." He leaned on his good hand, watching her with a smile that was almost condescending.

"What?" She snapped, eyes now on the bananadile who was bunching up its muscles. It was getting ready to make a move. What it lacked in speed on land, it made up for in sheer size.

"I haven't had a companion in such a long time…think you could love me like you love Doflamingo for just one night?"

Her concentration broke. In that moment the bananadile attacked, large jaws snapping for her head. She dodged, cursing as she realized two things: One, she had left her weapons in a safe place in a show of good faith and two, he'd planned this entire thing down to the bananadile attacking. She jumped up in the air, landing on its snout as she pulled her fist back. With a sickening squelch, she popped the protective film over its eye and it roared as eye matter and blood sloshed out of the newly made hole. It shook her off its head and she flew into a pillar. Groaning she pulled herself up, watching it make its way back through the many tunnels that connected to the large bananadile lair below. She had won. She exhaled, realizing her shades had been destroyed in the fight. She turned both blue and green eyes towards Crocodile. "You planned this." She hissed, marching towards him.

He chuckled, putting out his cigar in a convenient ashtray. "Now, now, Xavior…"

She smashed her fist into the throne next to his head. "You planned this." She insisted.

He looked up at her, thinking. He smiled again. "So what if I did?" He leaned in close – so tantalizingly close. "You want information about Doflamingo? You're going to have to seduce it out of me."

"You're sick." She grunted, her hand falling to support herself on one of the arms of his chair.

"How about it, love?" His baritone voice was soft as he drew a line with his hook from her chin, down her jugular, to her sternum…

Xavior chewed her lip. She was never good at politics and this was a political situation if she ever saw one. She nodded slowly, deciding this was the best course of action. There was no way out of this situation beyond sleeping with him. And for Doflamingo, she could do that.

Crocodile smirked, reaching his good hand around her and squeezing her ass. "You made the right choice." He told her softly, his hook underneath her chin. "But I have to warn you, I play rough."

"So do I." She said through gritted teeth.

He kissed her, biting her lip as he pulled her on top of him.

She straddled him on his pseudo-throne, tangling her fingers through his black-purple hair. There was an intense passion, born from anger and loneliness that erupted through her system and she rubbed her generous chest over his body, feeling his hook cut into the skin on her shoulder.

He paused, pulling back. "Maybe I should take that off-"

She yanked his hook towards her and sunk it into her shoulder. "See? Doesn't hurt." She snarled. "Now get on with it!"

He blinked as she attacked him again, yanking his hook free of her flesh and smirking. She was a lot more than he had ever dreamed. He pushed her off, however, pointing to the side room behind his throne. "I think that room would be more accommodating."

She wiped her mouth, grabbing her arm as she walked in, not looking at him. She was burning now, endlessly burning to fight someone for dominance. And she knew he wasn't going to disappoint her. She blinked, raising an eyebrow. "Is this some sort of joke?" She said darkly.

It was just a soft fur rug, stretched out on a glass floor. The walls and ceiling were made of glass, all of it looking into the bananadile tank.

"Nope. Are you going to run away, little girl?" He asked her, taking his fingers and tracing patterns on her shoulder blade with her own blood.

She glared at him, stepping down and yanking off her shirt. "Are you going to keep asking me dumb questions, little boy?"

He laughed, shutting the door as he walked down. Off went his fur cape, closely followed by various articles of clothing as he viewed her sprawl out on the fur, her sarong and other lacier things abandoned as she tilted her chin up. She had an arrogant look on her face, like he should've paid her so much more then information for the chance to touch her. It burned him, making his blood pump faster as he sat, removing his shoes. "You think you're better then me?"

She scoffed. "I know I'm better then you."

His hook was suddenly against her jugular again. There were no more clothes, poised as boundaries against their unholy ritual. He smelled of cigar smoke and cologne, his black eyes dangerous as he growled. "You're not. You're not better than me."

"Prove it." She taunted, once again taking his hook and slightly cutting into her own skin. The mixture of pain and pleasure was arousing and she smirked, her face flushing as she laid back down against the rug. "Prove you're better."

The foreplay was brief, a mixture of blood smattering on the rug from both of them insisting on tearing chunks out of each other. She dug her nails in his skin as he lay above her, his hard rod just barely poised to enter her as he teased her with a smirk. She knew he had won and it drove her insane. All she wanted right now was that dripping hot cock inside of her and for him to stop smirking at her like he owned her. She snarled at him, the sound feral and meaning so much more than words.

He pushed into her, watching her entire body writhe in agitation. This was his favorite part. Watching them get accustomed to his sheer length and size.

But Xavior wanted none of that. She caught her breath, yanking his head down as she bit his lip. Blood smeared across their lips, leaving an erotic smear across her full lips as she looked up at him. "Move." She commanded, wrapping her legs around his back.

He did so, going all out as he pounded her against the rug.

The hair burned against her skin as it rubbed it raw, chafing her back. Her blue hair lay around her in a tangled sexy mess, painting a picture against the white and smatterings of red. She gasped for air, unable to find it as shadows passed over them from beasts of prey that prowled the waters around them. There was no one to hear her screams, no one to stop what he was doing to her. Not that she wanted him to stop.

He didn't take long to finish. He was already half way there when she had come into the room, with her arrogance and beauty. He pulled away, pining her down before she move. His forearm against her neck, he pressed lightly, effectively cutting off her windpipe. "I'm not finished with you yet." He said lightly, his good hand reaching down below.

Her eyes widened as he rubbed against her clit, feeling an immense pleasure build up again from below. She moaned shamelessly, grabbing onto his arm and holding on as he pushed her to an orgasm. She writhed beneath him, though he pinned her down and limited her movements. She came explosively, cussing him out and tearing holes in his arm with her fingernails. When she finished they both collapsed, exhausted.

Xavior didn't look at him, watching as the underbelly of a bananadile came into view, gliding effortlessly above. "Tell me."

Crocodile smirked, smoothing his black hair back. "Alright. Alright, a deal's a deal. I'll tell you."