A/n: Red Alert/Inferno smut is here! Inspired by Wynter Gordon's 'Dirty Talk.'

Warnings: For pnp type interfacing, talking about human style sex, drunkenness.

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

Dirty Talk

Inferno had never seen Red Alert like this.

In public.

On a pole, flinging himself around and around it in very flexible and graceful positions, more drunk than he'd been in quite a while. Then again, two and a half cubes of the twins high grade never failed to get a mech slag-faced. And when it was Red…then only one and a half was needed before he was grinning and smiling like a loon as he finally relaxed.

Inferno didn't want to interfere. Last time he did that, his lover had hissed and tried to bite him.

So he watched as the lithe Security Director continued to gyrate to the loud and bouncy pop song that was saying the most suggestive things…

I am no angel
I like it when you do that stuff to me
I am no angel
I like it when you talk, {talk} dirty when you talk {talk}

The large mech shuddered at the words. Wherever Blaster had found this song, it had become so appropriate.

There was a soft thump as Red decided to jump off the pole and land next to him, not wasting any time to climb into his lap and cuddle up, purring, "'Ferno, wanna 'face."

"Not here," Inferno said quietly, letting a coaxing tone enter his voice. He didn't mind a few kinks, but exhibitionism wasn't one of his.

The smaller mech giggled, batting at his arm and saying, "No you silly, lovely mech. Our quarters. Want you bathe me in energon and lick it all off, and then I want-"

Inferno stood, curling his lover against his chest, causing him to purr happily and hook his arms around his neck. Other mechs in the rec room were too drunk to notice or didn't care as they left for their quarters. The firetruck gritted his denta in fierce resolve as small, nimble fingers darted into seams to tease wires and sneak under plating to seek sensors that made his heat up. And then Red Alert whispered so lowly, so lovingly, "Inferno…"

"Red," he rumbled back, finally getting to their door and typing in the code and palmed the sensor, quicker than what he'd entered it in a while.

The red and white mech squirmed as he was set on the berth, his larger lover over him.

"Ferno, c'mon," he purred invitingly.

"Ya're drunk," Inferno pointed out.

"So? I want you to face me you big hunk of metal you," whined Red, wiggling invitingly.

The larger mech sighed. Red Alert was really far gone if he was talking like that. Besides, he didn't want to take advantage of his lover when he was like this. He wanted them to have no regrets ever whenever they interfaced. "No. Can't do it to ya like this."

The SD pouted, and he wrapped his legs around his lover's waist and, with surprising strength, flipped them around so he was straddling the wide black pelvic span. He smirked in such a way that Inferno knew that, drunk or not, Red Alert was in the mood for some serious pleasure. He was honoured to be the only one that saw this side of the usually reserved mech. The fiery little minx. His plating was hot, smouldering with the way those gorgeous light blue optics were looking at him.

"I want you," Red said, bending down to trail kisses from the centre seam of the firetruck's chestplates up to his lips, joining them together in an intense liplock. Passion ignited in seconds, and before long Inferno let go of his inhibitions. He was allowing his smaller lover to control this.

Red Alert pulled back, optics gleaming in a satisfied sort of way, before he shifted backwards, kissing and groping his way down the larger crimson frame, looking up at Inferno the whole time. He shivered when a large hand cupped his helm and stroked his sensitive horns. That spot never failed to make him feel aroused. A rather silly idea occurred to him so he blurted it out.

"Imagine if we were humans Inferno. I'd run my fingers through your hair and kiss your nipples," he murmured, paying close attention to a sensitive hip seam as he did so.

The sharp gasp from Inferno made him smirk even more.

"And then I'd do what I did and kiss down your stomach, nuzzling your hard abs, and pull off your boxers to reveal a nice hot cock waiting for me."

"Red!" yelped Inferno, faceplates heating at the dirtiest things coming out of his lover's mouth. It turned him on something fierce, and his interface panel opened under Red's careful ministrations.

"Mmm," the smaller mech hummed, viewing the plug and connector port with relish.

He could barely contain his own panting, and his cooling fans kicked on, but they were nowhere near as loud as Inferno's. He decided to continue the way he was talking, loving the way it turned his larger lover on.

"Nnngh, 'Ferno…I'd then lick at it in that lovely innocent way you like me, kissing the head of it while my hands stroke all over you. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he asked, fondling the plug with his fingers as he waited for Inferno's reaction.

"Yeah," breathed inferno, pleasure jolting through him at the feather light touches to the tip of his plug. Little crackles of electricity sparked prematurely, causing the smaller mech to grin. He continued to stroke the connectors, before carefully tugging on it so the thick cable connected to the plug unspooled in his hands. The cable had to be thick for protection in interfacing, but it served another purpose. It was rich in sensors, and Red Alert knew to take the prefect advantage of them. Slowly, he extended his glossa and licked the cable, still caressing the connector.

"Oh slag…oh Primus," groaned the larger mech, overcome by the pleasure, and loving Red Alert's control. Maybe they should get tipsy more often…

"I'd swallow you whole again and again, and then you'd cum right into my mouth." Red then placed the plug in his mouth, letting the warmth of it send his lover into a frenzy. Inferno's hips jerked, and he let out a strangled groan, and in a raspy tone, he said, "Red, I need ya. Connect, wanna feel ya."

The smaller mech giggled, enjoying the agonised look of pleasure on his lover's face. It was so sexy to him. He sat up, opening his own panel and rubbed their interface arrays together before unspooling his own plug and connecting to Inferno's port, before connecting the plug in his own hand into his port, creating an instant feedback loop. Red Alert cried out under the sudden rush of pleasure data flooding the link between them. Inferno was pushing through data fast and hard, giving him very little chance to respond in return. He mewled, clinging to Inferno's wide shoulders in his pleasure.


"Hah…Red…." Inferno moaned, rising up to wrap his arms around him and tug him close, panting in tandem with his lover.

Red Alert finally found his foothold in the data exchange and sent back a hard pulse of desire and love, the tension rising, pleasure mounting, racing towards overload.

Finally it was too much for the both of their systems and overload crashed over them, both crying out and white hot pleasure crawled along every inch of their plating as electric jolts zinged through them. Charge crackled through their two joined interface cables.

Red Alert slumped, engine rumbling happily against his lover's, as his overload tapered out. He was nice and warm and so utterly content.

"Minx," Inferno rumbled in a sated satisfaction below him, softly stroking over his back.

"I didn't know you liked dirty talk so much," murmured the smaller mech.

Inferno had the grace to blush. "Not sure how ya would take it."

Nuzzling up to his partner, he replied, "We share 'Ferno. Means not being afraid to say what we want."

"Mmm...maybe next time?"

"If you want, lover."

A/N: Yeah, just a PWP because the bunny gnawed at me. Review? This is my first time at doing p'n'p style interfacing.