A/N: Okay...yeah...started watching Young Justice, liked "Failsafe" and Robin's session in "Disorder" (yet I was the ONLY one in a group of my friends who didn't go emo...)...
Muse: She also connects to Robin easily for some odd reason.
I know I said I would update until after New Year's...but...
Muse: She wants to see if she can get at least one character down for Young Justice since she's starting a fic for that.
She has a point. Anyway, if you want the full emotion (in my opinion), go to YouTube, search "robin i'll try", and click either the first one (I'll Try- Robin), or the fourth one down (i'll try, i'll try... / Robin Tribute). The second one shows more emotion, but either works. Okay, I was switching between the two. Point?
Muse: She doesn't own Young Justice, the characters, or the dialogue from when Robin says "Hurt? Try traumatizing" to "I don't want to be the Batman anymore". Other than that, it came from the realm known as Wiz-Witch's diseased imagination.
Ellie: Can I?
I quickly plug my glove into the door when I realize something. There's no way I'm getting out. The wiring is messed up. I can't open it. I look at Wally. "Go without me." His eyes widen in shock.
"What? No way!" I let out a sigh.
"Wally…" I think carefully before continuing while tears start to blur my vision. "The wiring got messed up somehow, so I can't open the doors. You, however, can vibrate your molecules through it. You can get out before the explosion." I look at the clock. Not much time. "Please. I don't want you to die." Like all the others…Other than us, Megan's the only one still alive…Of course, I'm literally dead already. Wally had an actual chance her, though. "I don't want you to die because of me."
"And I don't want to live without you." He grabs my arm and we sit down with our backs against the door. I lean against him a bit and take off my mask. I really don't have much to worry about, since he already knows my identity, and it's not like anyone's gonna see me other than him. Besides, my eyes are immediately covered again by my hands wiping tears away. I silently watch the numbers tick down on the clock.
I'm surprised to wake up after the explosion. Or, did it explode? Yes, the explosion happened. I remember watching the timer go down, hearing the explosion, then feeling all the heat.
So, yes, it did happen. But if that's so, then why am I waking up in the training room? My hand instinctively reaches up to see if my eyes are covered. I'm wearing my sunglasses.
That would explain why the room seems fairly dim.
I sit up and turn to the side before pulling one of my legs up to rest my chin on while I gather my thoughts. Martian Manhunter and Batman explain what happened, although I'm barely listening. I catch that it was supposed to be a simulation, which we all knew until Artemis "died". Then Megan's powers took over, causing us to believe it to be real. I look over at Wally, and he's looking back at me. I turn away right away and try to sort things out in my head.
It's been a week since the simulation, and none of us have recovered completely. I will admit that some of us have recovered more than others, but I'm sure that Megan and I have recovered the least. Neither of us have really talked with anyone, but I can see it in her eyes. She still has the high amounts of pain and trauma. She's still blaming herself.
"Hey, how you doing, Rob?" When did-right. Super speed. Wally's been trying to make me open up since what happened. He has yet to secede despite doing it all the time (Batman, Red Tornado, Black Canary, and Martian Manhunter all wanted us to stay at the cave until we recovered a bit). I will admit, I want to tell him. It's just…I literally am unable to say anything to him or anyone on the team. Almost as if my jaw is locked up…
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kalder leave the room Black Canary's doing the therapy sessions. Megan doesn't move from the kitchen. Wally tries to get me up, but I don't move in the slightest. I guess he thinks I should go now. When none of us go, Black Canary comes in to see if any of us are ready. I do my "ninja-disappearing-trick" to go to my room before she's completely in. Unlike usual, I don't do my laugh/cackle. Instead, I silently promise to myself that I'll go in. Eventually.
I never really promised that I'd actually say anything to Black Canary. My jaw is still locked-up and has yet to slack at all. I just sit there with my hands between my legs. She's trying to get me to open up, but I just can't. It's not in my nature. Most of what she says goes over my head. Until one thing.
"Wally said that the main thing bothering him about this whole thing was how you've sealed yourself off from everyone and been having some nightmares due to your hurting." It was that one thing that got my jaw to unlock enough for me to talk.
"Hurting? Try traumatized." Did I just…Wow… "I finally become leader and wind up sending all of my friends to their deaths." I lose control of my jaw again, only instead of it being locked, it won't stop talking. "I-I know I did what I had to, but I hated it." Okay, maybe I could have come up with a better plan… "When we started this team, I was desperate to be in charge." I even got into a fight with my best friend over it. "Not anymore." Something crosses my mind, and before I can stop, I voice it. "And- and that's not even the worst of it." I know this technically is confidential (only reason she told me what Wally said was to help get me to talk), I can't help but add a reassurance. "You can't tell Batman."
"Nothing leaves this room." Good.
"I always wanted – expected – to-to grow up and become him." Batman. My mentor… My father. "A-and the hero bit? I'm still all in!" I've never wanted to stop being a hero for one bit. "But that thing inside of him, the thing th-th-that drives him to sacrifice everything for the sake of the mission." Be able to just ignore all emotions. "That's not me. I-I don't wanna be the Batman anymore." Just…Practically sending my friends to their deaths…It killed that bit of me wanting to be able to do that.
"Is there anything more to your withdrawal?" My jaw clenches a bit and I clasp my hands together. She notices this. "It's best to let it off your chest so it doesn't hurt you anymore than it already has." Something inside me snaps.
"It can't hurt me anymore than it already has. I-it can't even traumatize me anymore than it has!" I dig my nails into my skin. My eyes burn from unshed tears. "W-watching my friends and B-Batman be killed without being able to do a thing about it. Watching that…It…It brought back memories." I try to ignore the fact that my voice cracked at that last word. "Memories…Memories I thought I finally got past." I ponder over whether or not I should continue. Black Canary does for me.
"It reminded you of your parents?" I nod in response.
"That helpless feeling th-that you have when you have to watch those that mean the world to you…That helpless feeling I had when I watched them fall…That helpless feeling I had watching everyone get blasted by those beams…I-I just felt like I should have been able to do something to help. Every time. I felt like I could have done something to help in some way at all!" I take my glasses off to wipe the tears from my eyes. "Every time." The hand holding my glasses falls to my lap and another hand ends up on top of it. I look up and see that she's put her hand on mine.
"Have you discussed any of this with any of the other members?" I chose not to answer. "Richard…"
"Wally's the only one who knows my real name, but he doesn't know much more than that. And I've run into Artemis at school. She just doesn't exactly know it's me. I'm not supposed to reveal my identity to the team." I look down again. "And nothing you can say will convince me to."
"I understand how secretive Bruce can be, and I know I won't be able to convince you to tell everyone, but I will say this: There may come a time when you must tell them. Whether for the mission's sake, or your own. Until then, stop blaming yourself."
A/N: Double record for me: most line breaks in a chapter (3) and most words (1,355)!
Muse: Care to share why you chose this scene?
Because I liked how Robin was honest and open for once.
...I thought we discussed this. Well, so I don't get a ton of reviews questioning that, Muse is just teasing me about how I see the school counselor every week other than group pretty much. Mostly because of some family issues, NOT GONNA ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT IT! Although I will admit that there's something about sessions like that, whether it be the person doing it, or the fact that no one else has to hear what you say, that causes you to say anything pretty much. Hey, random challenge thing: if you actually listen to the song, tell me which line(s) you think fit Robin most, or how you think the song fits him in general. For me, it's because he wants to quit being treated as a child, but he also has the childish things things of his he has to hold on to. Along with how guarded he is...
Get the song. Real interesting how Jessie McCartney voices Robin and sung a song that fits him...Hm...