Author's notes: Um, yeah.

the hills are alive (with the sound of gayness)

Billy pitches The Sound of Music as "a World War II movie about a retired naval sea captain and a badass nun who refuse to fight for the Nazis." It's halfway through the first musical number, and Teddy is beginning to suspect that he's been had.

"Bill," he says carefully, stretching his arm along the backside of the couch and leaning forward to snatch some popcorn, "you realize that there's a different between a 'World War II movie' and a movie that just happens to be set during World War II, right?"

Billy shoots him a scathing glare. "Please. Like Pearl Harbor somehow represents the true tragedy of war any better? The Sound of Music showcases the many ways that violence and hate can—what? What are you laughing at?"

Teddy presses his lips firmly to Billy's cheek. When he starts pulling away, Billy's mouth chases him until he's flat on his back and Billy is hovering happily over him. "What's with the face, T? Is the light glittering in my eyes too bright to look away from? The sheen of my skin too smooth to—"

Teddy kisses him again. "You must have been the least successful closet-case ever," he says against Billy's lips. In the background, a bunch of nuns lament that there's no way to solve a problem like Maria. "Sound of Music, for Cap's sake." He chuckles, pulling Billy down so that they're stacked on top of one another. Billy uses his magic to teleport the popcorn over to this side of the couch.

"Shutup," Billy manages through a mouthful of popcorn. "The tragedies of war, I'm telling you."