Remember Who You Are
Disclaimer: Blah. Blah. Not mine or yours, I think they're ABC's.
Warnings: This fanfic depicts romantic notions between two adult women. If you don't like that, well, I'm sorry for you.
Note: This is post episode 5. I've decided to disregard any later episodes because Regina and Emma are going in a direction that I don't like. Hence, a fanfic! It my first one, that's why I took so long to post it…C&C please! But be gentle….
**Dec-14-2011: I replaced the chapter with the newly "beta'ed" version. Thank you Haku2009 for the proof reading!
~~~ Chapter 1 ~~~
"Why don't you have any alcohol at home? Not even a beer?" Emma slammed the refrigerator door shut, and turned to the school teacher who was sitting at the kitchen island sipping on her tea.
Mary Margaret shrugged. "I just never acquired a taste for it. And I prefer tea when I'm upset." She held her teapot up towards the blonde. "Want some?"
"I'm not upset." Emma turned back to the fridge, this time searching in the freezer. She pulled a tub of ice-cream out of the freezer box. Grabbing a spoon from the drawer she plopped down in the seat across from the school teacher. "At least you have the sense to buy the triple chocolate fudge flavor," she grumbled.
Emma shoved a spoonful of the chocolaty treat into her mouth cleaning it off before shaking the utensil at Mary Margaret. "Seriously, I risked my life to save her kid. Or I guess you could say, our kid, not that I'm complaining cause I have no problem sticking my neck out for him. Not at all. But do I get a thank you? Noooo!" Emma put another spoonful into her mouth. "You know, for I moment there I thought we reached a truce. She was near tears with worry. She wanted the kid safe as much as I do. But as soon as I get the kid out of that shaft she turned right back to the bitch of the century! She thanked Hopper. She thanked Marco. She thanked the sheriff. She thanked the whole freakin' town except me. She's provoking me on purpose! Is it so difficult to be just a little bit nice?" She shoved three more spoonfuls of ice cream into her mouth barely giving herself time to breath. She quirked an eyebrow when she failed to get a response from her roommate. "So to get her attention I stripped myself naked and started dancing the Macarena."
"Mm... I've never danced naked before..." Mary Margaret absently replied as she sipped her tea. Then the blonde's words finally registered and she looked up wide-eyed. "Excuse me… What did you-?"
Emma sighed. "You're not even listening. Forget it." She put the ice cream back into the freezer, tossing the spoon into the sink. "I'm going out for a drive." Grabbing her leather jacket, Emma walked out the apartment slamming the door for good measure.
"Emma," Mary Margaret called out but the blonde already closed the door behind her. "I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind too tonight," she spoke out into the empty space. Her mind kept replaying the visit she had with David earlier this afternoon. Resignedly, she poured herself another cup of tea.
Emma must have sat in her car for almost an hour she reckoned. She drove off from Mary Margaret's apartment and naturally ended up outside the house of the woman whose been her source of frustration lately. She rested her chin on her arms which were wrapped around the top of the steering wheel looking up at the house. The lights in a room downstairs had remained lit since her arrival and she'd seen the silhouette of the mayor passing by the window a couple of times. If Emma remembered right from the brief time she was at the house that room was the study.
She was still pretty angry about the whole ordeal earlier today. And to be honest she was really hurt about being excluded. She's been making an effort to be part of the town, part of Henry's life yet Regina still treated her like insignificant dirt. By all accounts Emma should hate the woman to her core. But despite the threats, the lies, the insults, it was those rare moments when Regina's wall cracked a little and revealed a glimpse of vulnerability, reeling Emma in more than the antagonizing behaviors push her away.
Regina downed the glass of wine, sitting alone in her study. She had put Henry to bed a few hours prior. His adventurous day tired him out so much that he didn't protest bedtime like he usually did. He really scared her today. It had been a very, very long time since she experienced fear. She didn't want to analyze the feeling she had way too much on her plate right now. She was just glad that Henry was safe and returned to her.
Several photo albums were scattered on the low table in front of her, along with the files Sidney dug up on Emma Swan. This woman had achieved nothing in her life. She was a nobody and yet now posed as one of her greatest threat. Not just because she was taking Henry away from her, but also something about the woman that constantly threw her off balance. Like today at the abandoned mine site, she actually turned to Emma for help.
Regina never asks for help. She would demand, order, or as far as threaten to have her needs met. But she never simply asked for help. She remembered holding Emma's gaze after the deputy asked her what she wanted her to do and found nothing but honest sincerity and perhaps a connection? So she surrendered to it, handing over her tightly reined control for a moment.
And Regina hated it. Absolutely detesting the feeling of not being in control.
She poured herself more wine picking up a photo of Henry as a toddler smiling brightly into the camera. She stared at it with sadness. Henry was supposed to be her happy ending...
Her mind flashed briefly back to the shard of glass she came across at the mine site. Pieces of the world she left behind are starting to unearth. She couldn't figure what exactly that meant, but it was not a good sign. Not only were the town changing but the people in it too. And more importantly she can feel a change inside herself, her powers returning, slowly. It was still very sporadic and she couldn't fully control it like she used to. Her powers, not surprisingly, had no effect on Henry or Emma.
Everything was falling apart and nothing seemed to be in her control anymore.
Giving in to the undeniable pull, Emma got out of her car and walked up to the house.
'Worst Regina could do would be to have me arrested once again for trespassing private property. Can I even be arrested if I'm the deputy sheriff now?' She shrugged her shoulders giving the door a light tap.
It took a few moments before the door was pulled open revealing Regina standing in the doorway.
Emma was not prepared for the vision of the dark haired woman, completely surprised to find her with no trace of makeup, hair a little mussed up, draped simply in an elegant black silk robe and barefooted. The mayor looked the total opposite of her usual imposing self.
'Uh… wow, she seems smaller… demure... chaste even. It's kinda nice.' Emma mused. Her impression was, however, quickly corrected when Regina spoke demanding the purpose of this late night visit.
"You better have a good reason for being here at this time of the night, Miss Swan." While her current image lacked a commanding quality, Regina's tone clearly did not.
Emma composed herself, stood a little straighter. "We need to talk," she requested. "About Henry."
"I have nothing to say to you." Regina crossed her arms over her chest, giving the new deputy an irritated look.
Emma mirrored the dark haired woman's posture. "I insist."
Regina met Emma's eyes steadily and not surprised to find the blonde returning the stare without a flinch, even arching an eyebrow back at her in a gesture of challenge. After a few moments of silent standoff, Regina realized that the blonde really had no better things to do but to remain on her doorstep and continue to irritate her. She could stand there all night.
Regrettably, Regina sighed. "Fine. Come in." She pushed herself away from the door and turned, heading back into the house as her visitor walked up the short steps to the door. "Close the door behind you quietly. Don't wake Henry," she threw back at the blonde and disappeared into the study.
Emma pushed the door shut gently, hearing the soft click of the lock engaging. She followed the mayor further into the next room. Regina was moving an arm load of paperwork and books to the far end of the room. She glanced around the always immaculate room and her eyes lit up as she spotted the bottle of wine on the low table.
Regina turned to her guest after putting the photos and Emma's file out of sight, noticing the blonde eyeing the wine. It had been a long day. Feeling generous and not really knowing why, she offered, "Want a glass?"
Emma gave the mayor a grateful look. "Hell yes, please."
As Regina walked out of the room to fetch her a glass, Emma went over to the couch and took a seat. Something caught her eye underneath the table, she reached out and picked it up. Turning it over in her hand, she found herself looking at a photograph of Henry and Regina. It was an older photo, as Henry looked to be only about 5 years old. Emma felt a pang in her chest as she took in the pure happiness of both mother and son captured in the photograph. She quickly stuffed it into her pocket, just before Regina walked back into the room with an empty glass.
Emma watched the dark haired woman as she poured her a glass of wine. Steady hands pouring the red liquid in a precise manner. Poised, controlled, cold and remote yet, Emma had already witnessed the display of anxiety, panic, and if she hadn't seen the photo she wouldn't have believed it, happiness the mayor was capable of.
Emma didn't know what to believe anymore. She was beginning to think that coming here was a bad idea. Giving Regina a nod of thanks, she took the offered glass of wine and downed it.
Regina quirked an eyebrow at the blonde as she threw back the wine. She had a pretty good guess as to what Emma wanted to talk about. Archie had already hinted that Emma wanted to fight her for Henry. The logical part of her knew that the psychologist's threat had little validity. But with every aspect of her life falling apart lately, she couldn't help but be wary of any possibility.
The wine calmed Emma's nerves and allowed her to sort through the jumble of thoughts in her head, all revolving around the woman sitting a few feet from her.
"So," she paused briefly, "these beliefs Henry has is getting pretty out of hand," Emma broke the silence, looking up at the mayor.
Regina gave her a leveled look. "Tell me something I don't already know."
Emma took a breath and counted to ten in her head. 'Why must she be so abrasive?'
"Look, somehow the kid has taken an attachment to me. Give me a chance, maybe I can figure out an angle I can approach him, give him a reality check. I just need you to stop fighting me at every turn," Emma found herself pleading despite herself.
"Right. That's really your game here, isn't it? You think I'd stand by and let you influence my son whichever way you want? You think I'm a moron?" Regina tried to keep her voice leveled.
"Hey, I didn't really choose to get involved in your lives," Emma responded.
"But you certainly can choose to leave. And you clearly have no plans of doing that." Regina countered.
"I can leave. And I would except you know as well as I do that Henry would just come after me again," Emma reasoned.
Regina had to admit that was true. Short of locking the boy up, she knows Henry wasn't going to just give up looking for Emma. Oh, how she hated that fact. "Well you haven't exactly made much of an effort to heed my instructions to leave. Destroying my apple tree. Taking up a job in town. What am I supposed to think?"
"I'm sorry. I just don't react well to threats." Emma shrugged.
Regina arched her eyebrow. "Neither do I. And you've been quite stellar in posing as one for me."
The two women regarded each other. Emma was the first to break into a wry grin, finding their common, headstrong trait amusing. With that bit of unspoken mutual understanding reached, Regina allowed her guard just enough to let her lips pulled into a slight smile.
'Damn she really is quite beautiful when she's not being a bitch,' the thought popped Emma head involuntarily before she could stop it. 'Shit! Where the hell did that come from?' She shook her head free of the thought, reaching forward for more wine. Only to find the bottle empty. 'I need another drink.' She bolted out of the room.
Regina watched Emma disappear into the next room. She threw her hands up in the air. 'Who does she think she is? Acting like this is her house or something.'
She got up and followed the blonde to find her guest rooting around in her kitchen drawers, a bottle in one hand, most likely looking for the corkscrew since she already found the wine. Regina walked up to the woman and bumped her aside.
"Have you got no manners? Didn't your mother teach you any? Oh right, you don't have mother," she mocked, reaching into a drawer to pull out a corkscrew.
"Why do you have to be such a bitch to me?" Emma glared at Regina.
"Because I have no reason to be nice to you," she replied simply.
"Isn't Henry good enough of a reason? If you really love him, maybe you should be nice to the people he likes." As soon as she said the words, Emma watched in fascination as a stone cold expression took over Regina's face.
"I will not stand here and tolerate you questioning my love for my son. I have let it slide once and I won't again." Taking a step towards the blonde, Regina invaded her space and delivered a warning. "Don't. Push. Me."
Emma stood her ground, refusing to back away. "Seriously, you have to quit getting in my face," she grounded out.
"Or what?" Regina challenged.
Emma stared into the mayor's dark eye. She could feel her breath on her face. 'Oh this is just way too tempting.' Before she could consider the inappropriateness of it, she snaked a hand up behind Regina's head and pulled her forward, closing remaining distance, and kissed the mayor.
All thoughts left Regina's mind as she stood there in shock. There were only sensations. The soft lips under her own, the pressure of the hand behind her head, the heat of Emma's body against hers, the smell of that leather jacket. Regina's senses went on an overload, snapping out of her stupor and shoved Emma away from her.
Regina closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to find her equilibrium back. "Get out," she managed with an even tone.
'Oh shit.' Emma took an awkward, uncertain step towards the dark woman. "I'm sorry... I..."
By pure instinct, Emma ducked as an object came flying at her head. A glance up and her eyes widened at the mayor winding back an arm, ready to throw something else at her. Probably something bigger and more deadly. Figuring it would be best if she didn't stay and find out, Emma turned on her heels and run out the kitchen. She got her hand on the front door when she heard her name being called by a small voice. Turning around, she found Henry standing halfway up the staircase, disoriented from being woken up from his sleep.
Emma shot the boy a regretful look. "Sorry kid." And slipped out the door.
In the kitchen, Regina had taken a seat at the island. Her heart pounded inside her rib cage and her legs almost gave out under her after Emma left. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she tried to control her breathing, willing the onset of a headache away. A shuffle at the doorway made her open her eyes, and found Henry standing there with a frown on his face. He looked around and his eyes landed on the corkscrew that was half buried in the wall. He turned an accusing gaze at his mother.
"What did you do to Emma?" he demanded.
'Of course, I would be first to be blamed in his eyes.' Regina sadly acknowledged. "Go back to bed, Henry."
"What did you do?" He asked again.
"Don't make me tell you twice," Regina's tone left no room for argument. Henry had lived with her long enough to know.
Sullenly, he stomped his way back to his room. Regina listened as his heavy footsteps ended and then his door slamming. Bombarded by a slew of different emotions in the past 24 hours, she was too tired at this point to process the hurt his attitude brought.
She can't let this beat her. She had invested too much, had too much to lose. Question is, how far will she go this time?