A.N. Well, this is it! Final chapter (I think) to a story I've been working on for an embarrassing amount of time which I should have finished ages ago. The story got me so riled up I forgot that it was just a fanfiction at points – you know when you've got to the point you are pouting at the dapper Blaine on the TV show because you suspect him of being secretly evil that maybe you should stop reading and writing dark!Blaine fanfiction. I love Darren Criss. But I also love dark!Blaine, so…
Anyway, thank you guys for all your support and I hope you like this final piece. Let me know your thoughts by giving it a review. Each one is a cyber-hug to me, even if it's just to go crazy over how stupid the characters are being! Haha!
Goodbye to Last Chances
The booming and thumping of the music and the incessant chatting laughter of the party guests fell on Kurt's deaf ears. Slumped against the back wall next to the bar, he stared blindly at the ground. He had been like this for over thirty minutes. His mouth was dry and his body had seized after shaking so much after he had heard Blaine- After he found out the truth.
The last week played over and over in Kurt's head, each time the memories changing ever so slightly as details became sharper and duller. He thought back over the last few months with vague confusion. How had he got here? Why was it now, at the closing minutes of the year, he was sitting alone on the ground on the rooftop of one of the most impressive apartment buildings in one of the most world-famous cities with his shrinking heart thudding painfully in his tightened chest? When he left Lima this was the last situation he expected to be in. Then again, many things were different to his small-town boy's expectations.
There was a smash nearby; someone dropped their drink, probably due to drunkenness. It broke Kurt out of his stupor a little, or at least enough for him to say aloud 'I need to get up.' in a tone so dead he did not recognise it as his own voice. Gingerly pushing himself up into a standing position, Kurt got used to the sickening dizzy feeling sweeping through him and slowly he stepped out into the party scene again. He ignored the random well-wishers who were still sober enough to recognise him and form words, and approached the most handsome guy ever to have graced New York City.
Blaine's lips turned up into a wide grin at seeing him and his hands reached out to take hold of Kurt's hips, pulling him close enough for his eyes to give away the secret that he too had been drinking. 'There y'are, baby. Where'd you run off to?'
Kurt made himself smile and shook his head as he tucked his chin down. Why am I feeling ashamed? He wondered. 'I got talking to someone. Sorry.'
'S'okay. You're here now.' From his seat on the barstool, Blaine leaned forward and began planting hot kisses on his fiancé's exposed neck. Kurt tried not to cry at the affection, but he couldn't hold back a wince when he felt his skin be bitten in what he assumed was supposed to be a teasing manner. Finally he pushed Blaine's shoulder's back to get him to stop. 'What's the matter?'
Where to begin? What would the first accusation be, and at what point was the line drawn and crossed? It didn't matter, because Kurt had no intention of vocalising any of it. 'Nothing. Although I saw you earlier on your cell. You didn't look happy.' Blaine's frown caused Kurt to take his hand. 'Was there something wrong?'
Blaine squeezed his hand and brought it up to his lips to kiss his palm. 'Nothing you need to worry about.' He promised, only Kurt was beyond believing it. 'Just a little snag about tomorrow but I fixed it. You, Mr Hummel, are marrying a very resourceful man.' He laughed and locked his hands around Kurt's waist. 'Does your husband-to-be get a reward?'
Although it killed him inside, Kurt swallowed his hurt and gave Blaine what he wanted by pressing his lips against his. He could feel Blaine's smile grow and as usual the dark haired boy took over and deepened the kiss. His tongue expertly toyed with Kurt's, exploring him and tantalisingly forcing him to enjoy it. Blaine's hand taking a gentle fistful of his lover's hair, he stopped the breathless Kurt from pulling back until he was finished. He caught his bottom lip between his teeth and pulled softly to hear Kurt utter a quiet moan. Only then did he let go and smugly watch him gather himself. Even when Kurt knew he was not in the wrong, Blaine had a way of making him feel dirty and he hated it. Blaine couldn't tell. Kurt needed out. 'I-I'm feeling sort of…wiped out.' He murmured, avoiding Blaine's eyes. 'I think I'll head home. Get some rest.'
'What – before the countdown to the new year?' Blaine's eyebrows furrowed in disapproval.
Kurt nodded. 'You know I don't like big crowds and the loud noises they always create. B-besides, that means next year will be twice as special.'
Blaine may be a skilled liar but Kurt was not. Fortunately Blaine was beyond reading the visible signs and just nodded, ordering another drink in the process. 'I guess it's maybe for the best. Gotta be up bright and early tomorrow – big day, huh?' Kurt tried to match his grin but couldn't. The effort was enough, though.
'Y-yeah… Listen, before I go, there was something I wanted to ask.' Kurt bit his lip. This was it; the last time Blaine was given a chance. 'Is there anything I should know?' God that sounded so obvious. Blaine must know something is up now.
Blaine turned his head back to Kurt and his expression clouded over in all seriousness. 'Come to mention it…yes. There is something you should know.'
Kurt's eyes widened and his heart paused in its beating as if in anticipation. Was Blaine going to be honest? Kurt could never forgive him – never – but if he did it would be easier to do if he was telling him the truth now. He couldn't believe he might actually say-
'I love you so much, baby.' Blaine's face broke out into a smile as he uttered his words barely above a whisper. He ran his hands down Kurt's back and drew him closer. 'And I can't wait to have you all to myself tomorrow night.' His tone dripped with suggestion, his eyes smouldering as if already picturing him naked in front of him. Kurt's heart broke for the second time in the last hour. It hurt like some manic deranged psycho was cutting him haphazardly down the middle with a ragged blade. The pain was only intensified when looking into those loving brown eyes. Kurt wished he couldn't believe the person behind those eyes could ever do anything to hurt him but his damn brain wouldn't lie to him like that. A lump formed in his thought as he strained himself not to cry.
Blaine suddenly looked alarmed and his hands ran up and down Kurt's arms to comfort him over whatever was wrong. 'H-hey, hey – what's the matter, Kurt?'
A tear forming in his eye against his will, Kurt swallowed hard and brought his hand up to his secret ex-fiancé's face to cup his cheek so tenderly that it alone caused Blaine to stare at him in curiousity. 'I…I just don't want to say goodbye.' Kurt admitted softly. It wasn't a lie.
Blaine glowed. 'Well,' He whispered back, 'soon you won't need to. We'll be together forever.'
A pained nod was all he got in return. Blaine hadn't understood what he meant, but then there was no reason for him to know what Kurt had decided. His thumb stroking Blaine's cheekbone, Kurt leaned in and kissed his first love for the last time. It was the last time. He needed this; he needed to say goodbye to the Blaine who had beat him, lied and manipulated situations which included paying someone to almost kill him. He also needed to say goodbye to the Blaine who had taken his hand and heart in his gentle grasp and lovingly led him through the hell of his life into a beautiful relationship which Kurt had never wanted to end. Kurt could only wonder if that part of him still existed. Blaine tried to take control once more but Kurt pulled back before he could. He had got what he had needed and with their foreheads pressed together he closed his eyes. This had to be the hardest thing he had ever needed to do.
'I think…' Blaine murmured, 'Someone needs to sleep.' Teasingly he nipped at Kurt's chin and pulled away. Kurt felt somehow dismissed. Goodnights were exchanged as Kurt took a few steps back. Their hands, their fingers, finally broke off from one another and Kurt made himself turn away. He had to get out of here. He made a beeline for the exit only to almost literally run into a tired looking Tony at the door.
'Shit, Kurt! Watch where you're going.' His facial expression told Kurt that whilst Blaine might no longer be stressing over hit hired 'hit man', Tony certainly was. His stern gaze normally would have taunted Kurt but not this time. This was the last time he was going to see him too.
'Sorry,' Kurt apologised on impulse and didn't bother correcting himself. 'Tony, I just wanted to thank you' Thank you for not being a guy I thought I could trust. Thank you for helping me see Blaine's true colours. Thank you for screwing up your scheduled attack on me. Thank you for removing my blindfold and revealing the truth, no matter how much it hurt hearing and seeing it.
Tony sneered at his words, clearly assuming Kurt meant for the 'kick ass' engagement party he threw for him. Of course nothing was ever for Kurt – they both knew that – but he at least had some morsel of decency to reply 'whatever. You're welcome. You leaving?' Kurt nodded, and a smirk graced Tony's face. 'Good. Now the party can really start.' He laughed and slapped Kurt hard on the back, practically sending him down to the stairwell as he re-joined his party. Kurt watched only for a brief moment before descending the stairs. He was so tired but his night was far from over. He had some packing to do.
'Attention all passengers flying on flight NH 072 to Dayton, Ohio, please make your way to your departure gate. We will be boarding shortly.'
Kurt watched as the woman making the announcement went back to sorting forms. What was he expecting – praise for being at the departure gate early? With a nervous twitch he tapped his fingers on the metal rim of the chair he was sitting on. He really had to calm down. After all, he was here. JFK International Airport. His gateway to the safety of Ohio, with his literal passport and ticket gripped tightly in his hand.
When he had purchased the tickets a few hours ago he could not believe his luck. How could someone buy a last minute seat on a flight on New Year's Eve? Blaine's credit card helped immensely, of course, but even with cash on his side he had been lucky. He was half expecting to be turned away and left to find a train – or worse, a ride to hitch – in order to leave town. He also panicked that maybe Blaine would somehow find out about the unusual charge on his capable credit card but it was no doubt the busiest night of the year – even if Blaine's bank had issued the charge as a red flag, there was no way the TV sensation would be sober enough to take their call.
Speaking of which… Kurt studied his watch. It was after five am. Where would his ex-fiancé be right now? Probably lying passed out on best man Tony's floor. The image in Kurt's head made him shift uncomfortably in his seat. At his feet sat a humble overnight bag which would serve as the counterpart for the checked luggage Kurt had given in earlier. It was embarrassing how little Kurt had filled his bags but truthfully as he went through the process of numbly packing his belongings he found that hardly anything looked appealing. His old clothes had been replaced by fashionable new outfits approved and purchased by Blaine and this alone made their otherwise stylish charm seem repulsive. Of course, he had to take a few things. Underwear, a few pairs of pants, shirts, shoes and toiletries but they were not able to cover a faction of his suitcase. So, the rest of the space was filled with books and photographs. So many photographs. Blaine had once commented on how deranged Kurt must be if he thought he could find places to put all of them – that was before he had downright forbidden them to be seen in their bedroom and any open areas of their apartment as they 'cluttered' easily.
However Kurt had not taken home every photo he had found. He had left behind all of the pictures taken of them together in New York. They came with so many memories – a part of Kurt's life he did not want to bring home with him. Every one of them was left tucked inside his dresser, every one, except one. One which no matter how hard Kurt tried he could not abandon. It was a candid photo taken of himself and Blaine at some forgotten party on the third night in their first apartment. New to the city, they had little by way of furniture. In the picture they were cosying up on rustic wood-panelled floor next to a second hand coffee table. A thick blanket was wrapped around them mainly to fight off the chill but to also give them an excuse to be close. They were still fresh and wide-eyed from graduation with no idea what exciting journey the city would set them on. Blaine still had his goofy yet staggeringly handsome grin and Kurt tried hard not to think of the way New York would soon transform that beautiful smile into the smug, conceited smirk Kurt had been forced to see in more recent months. Kurt shook himself mentally. It did not bear thinking about.
Instead, Kurt rested his head back as he considered the note he left on the hallway table. It couldn't be missed. Who would find it first? No doubt Tony; he was supposed to come round in the morning and 'help' Kurt get ready and eventually throw him into the limo driving them to the church. So it was going to be Tony…he would read it even though it was addressed to Blaine. What would he think? He'd swear a lot. Kurt squeezed his eyes shut at the thought of the lowlife Tony cursing in his home – no, it wasn't his home anymore. In many ways it never was. He didn't care about that life anymore. So what would Tony do first? Call Blaine? He would probably be terrified of delivering the news. Maybe he would deliver the letter personally so that he wouldn't have to say those words…
He's not coming.
Blaine was not really one to care about the crowds so Kurt doubted he'd give the wedding guests a second thought – that would be Tony's duty as best man – and money was never an issue so whatever amount he lost in wedding expenses wouldn't occur to him for one moment. He would be forced to face the truth. Kurt almost felt sorry for Blaine and what he was yet to discover, but then his wounds would ache and he would realise he only should be thinking about himself and getting his battered body back to the safely of his dad's arms in Ohio.
What would he tell his dad? To be honest, Kurt hadn't considered that yet. He'd need to tell the truth at least to a certain extent. But he couldn't have his dad find out everything; his heart was still a serious problem. No, at least for now Kurt would have to lie and fortunately for him he had a few more hours to come up with a believable cover story.
The familiar ding-dong of an announcement tore him from his thoughts. His flight was starting to board. His heart raced anxiously and his eyes quickly scanned the area as if he was suddenly going to be detained at any moment now that freedom was almost within his grasp. But all he could see were tired looking families and coffee-infused business men and women trotting along the line of gates. Kurt took a few steadying breaths as he shouldered his bag. His legs barely worked as they took him the few feet towards the queue forming at his own gate. Before he knew it-
'Thank you, sir, have a pleasant flight.'
Kurt's freshly scanned ticket was thrust back into his hand and he was beckoned towards the gate doors. This was it. It was the end. If only he could believe it would also be a beginning.
Miles from the concrete runway of JFK International Airport, an apartment sat empty. In the main bedroom hanging from the top of the doorway was a sleek, classy and crisp tuxedo untouched. The place was otherwise spotless, except from a few scattered wedding presents still unopened and champagne bottles still unpopped. Sitting on top of the hallway table was an innocent looking envelope with the name 'Blaine' written on the front. It would be hours until it was read, but when it was the words inside would be engraved into the mind of the man it was addressed to. Every last word and no more.
First off I should let you know that I will not be marrying you today. Or tomorrow. Or ever. Call me what you like but know that whatever trouble I've caused for you by my actions today are nothing compared to the series of blows you have given me. In case it isn't clear: I know what you did, or more accurately, what you had Tony set up for me. Words can't begin to cover how much you've broken me with your beating hands but rest assured if there were anything left of me it would surely be crushed by your final act of cruelty. I did not think you would stoop so low but you had me fooled so maybe that tells you more about me than it does you. You do not need to worry about the police. I am not an idiot, you covered your tracks and I'd rather not have my name and my family's name dragged through the mud over nothing if I can help it.
I doubt you need to guess where I'm going so I will not pretend otherwise. All I ask of you is that you leave me as I am leaving you. Do not come to Lima. Do not call me. That is what I want. However you don't have the best track record of taking my wishes into consideration so I will give you this as motivation: I may not get anywhere with a police report (as I have said; you cover your tracks well) but I bet the press would have a field day with the truth of you fell into their laps. How long do you think you think you'll continue to be on top if something slipped out? My guess would be five minutes, but you're the one in 'the business' so I'll trust your expert opinion.
I've taken the few things that mean anything to me – I found it was a light pack seeing as you threw out most of the important things when we moved into your new apartment. Everything else you bought. I'm no thief and to be honest I'd rather not have anything tying me to you. If you find anything I missed you know where to send it, but I doubt it.
I need to catch a flight now. Rest assured by the time you get this letter I will be safely back in Ohio so I've saved you the trouble of doing a dramatic chase to the airport. This letter is goodbye, Blaine, and that means it is the end. Cut your losses and, if it is even humanly possible for you, learn from your mistakes. I loved you, and I'm sure at some point you loved me too. If you ever get that side of you back again you might actually make a relationship work with someone. It just won't be with me.
A.N. Well, I guess that's it? I'll be honest, now that this chapter is over I want to continue it. That's just like me, eh? Always wanting to continue a story. I may eventually do an epilogue but I'll rule out any potential sequel ideas before I write that. I hope you guys enjoyed this fic – reading it from the start makes me realise how uneven it is but I'm so happy with all the support it received! Please let me know what you thought and if you have any ideas, or maybe you're happy with it to end here? Let me know! Anyway, thank you guys so much and if you liked this story check out my other ones. I'll be adding more soon!