Hi guys I've had this idea for a year now so I thought I finally write it and post it and for others who are reading my other stories I'm having some serious writers block so I hope doing this will get my mojo flow in again so please don't be mad anyways I hope you like it I'm starting this from before the final missions on the games I'm a serious Alistair and Garrus fangirl! And a little bit of Loghain fangirl thank you the stolen throne book you should read it if you haven't its awesome sauce!.

Any ways like always disclaimer I don't own anything of bioware and if I did I would have made Loghain and Garrus a LT from the beginning. =D now to start the show

"In the dark of night when it feels like all is lost the stars will still shine"-Nate Koch

"Alistair we need to do this there are only three grey wardens in all of Ferelden and Loghain will be a great asset to the grey wardens."

Maysi said looking to Alistair who was beyond enraged of what was coming out of her mouth, she was betraying him, the king and most importantly she was betraying Duncan. Alistair shaked his head and looked up to meet her eye and put as much anger behind them as he possibly could,

" NO! Absolutely not, being a grey warden's an honor not a punishment I will never accept him as a brother." She looked at him she could see all that anger and it hurt she looked around trying to escape his hurtful gaze but she needed Loghain and the team,

" Alistair...I" he cut her off

,"Are you actually considering this…are you mad he hunted us sent an assassin, named us criminals for Maker's sake and your actually considering letting him join."

Alistair face was twisted in so much anger she could have sworn she'd run him through but she made her choice no backing down now it wasn't her but when was it really.

" Yes Alistair he will join us."

She looked to Loghain he was favoring his left side which she assumed he was hurt by their standoff, Alistair looked to both of them his gaze landed to the woman he's been fighting with for almost a year and he just couldn't believe she was doing this to him.

" If that's how it's going to be then I'm leaving the grey wardens I will never consider this man as brother "he took a long sigh,

"and by the Maker ill marry Anora and take the crown."

Anora went to him, "Alistair we'll talk about this later."

She turned to Maysi and Wyne who were helping Loghain stand up.

"thank you warden you will not regret this…"she cut her off,

" Anora I did it for Ferelden not for you Loghain is still a hero and the people need him like I do."

She glared at her and Anora started to look uncomfortable and fidget with her fingers,

"yes well if you excuse me." She smiled and turned to stand next the future king. After Alistair called the lands meet to and end they were all heading towards the door.

After they were done with joining Loghain laid on the cot that was prepared for him he had survived the joining much to Maysi's liking. A messenger came knocking at the door and saying that Alistair wished to speak with her, she nodded and looked at the unconscious form on the bed and left to meet Alistair. She walked down the halls taking her time she didn't want to see or talk to Alistair until the blight was over or never as matter of fact, but here she was walking down the cold stony walls of the castle on her way to speak to Alistair this was going to be as awkward as the time when Darien flirted with her in front of mother frown was now on her she did not want to think of that time what Howe did take away everyone she ever loved in just one night. She finally reached the study much to her displeasure and she knocked Alistair quickly answered her to come in.

" Alistair you called for me?"

She said sounding nervous she looked at him he still had that anger he had in the lands meet was well as the why did you do this? Written all over his face.

," Maysi why did you do that I though you of all people would understand me you lead our group and made all the calls and some that you didn't want to make and I only ask you once to do this for me and I end up with that bloody bastard joining the grey wardens.."

She cut him off she was pissed,

" Alistair how dare you say that to me you think I wanted to lead you put me in this position because you refused to take it you're the senior grey warden here not me if you don't like then to fucking bad because you know what I did it for Ferelden everything I do is for the sake of Ferelden Alistair I put you on the throne because the people need a king and you'll make a good king Alistair."

She stared at him she meant every single word she took the biggest sigh that she could take and let it go she need to say that.

" You have been meaning to say that for some time now haven't you."

He looked to the side as if he'd been hurt,

" I suppose I should say I'm sorry but I can't you let Loghain live how is it that you can finish your revenge but I can't finish mine."

He looked at her she was still mad,

" Alistair that is different I made a promise to my father and mother before I left them to... before I left them to..."

she was about to cry she left before the tears came down ,'I'm not going to cry not now not while I still have a blight to end not while I need to remain strong put yourself together Cousland your no weakling lets go see if your new recruit is up.'

She walked down the hall calming herself down she left Alistair in his study she wasn't going to fight not now she has a duty and it still needed to be finished. She reached the room where he was still laying down she didn't blame him and injury and then the joining right after I would be passed out as well if she were him. She smiled as she looked down at her childhood hero she had bested him, him the hero of river Dane by herself,

' heh take that you filthy orleisan nug humping bastards….. Crap damn you Ogrehen'

She walked over to a stool that was next to Loghain's bed and sat down she started to look around and found a stick her lips curled to a small grin,

'oh this is going to be good when anybody gets a chance to poke the great teyrn with a stick' she picked up the stick and started to poke him with it, 'poke, poke, poke, po...' Loghain had woken up and grabbed her hand she jumped a little,

" girl I recommend you stop it once or ill make sure you lose your sword hand" he gave her a stern look and after that was said Wyne and Leliana walked in and they all looked at each other and then at their hands and they both quickly let go,

" what in the maker's name is going on?" Maysi started to laugh,

"I found a stick and me … and me... I "she continued to laugh and Loghain just mumbled something and Leliana started to giggle and Wyne just sighed and shook her head,

" you were poking him with the stick weren't you child as the leader you should be acting like it and not like some bored child." Maysi just pouted and looked to Loghain who was already putting on his armor; she looked at Wyne and Leliana,

" hey can you go and find the cooks and tell them to deliver a lot of food I'm hungry and I bet so is Mr. Hero here." She pointed to Loghain who just shot a glare at her and she waved it off and with that the rouge and the elderly mage left the room.

"Loghain are you feeling better I know that after going through the joining there are some questions that you have am I correct?" he nodded,

"yes I do warden." She raised her hand,

" please call me Maysi or May if you prefer we are working together now and I want us to be friends not enemies."

He looked at her and he could tell she was being serious, "very well war... I mean Maysi the nightmares the creatures and the dragon is that the arch demon."

She nodded and looked at him in those icy blue eyes," yes that's the arch demon you were hearing it talk... to the horde we saw it when we went to the deep roads in orzammar."

She looked outside at the darkening skies as winter was soon coming to Denerim.

"I see so you are now in charge of dealing with this wasn't that boy you put on the throne supposed to be taking over?" she looked down thinking about that conversation Loghain remained quiet,

"yes he was supposed to but he was in shock over what happen though I wasn't in any condition for leading as well but Ferelden needed me so I had to man up well Loghain up yes." She smiled and he looked at her,

" Loghain up? What kind of talk is that girl? "He was amused now." I.. um I used to say that was I was troubled of any kind since you never backed down as much as I think you wanted too you never did so I did the same."

She blushed and Loghain caught it,

" and her I thought that you were just playing at hero like Cailan and that you were going to blame and kill me for what happened at Ostagar."

He looked sternly at her. "Loghain I don't blame you for what happen it was Cailan's fault he didn't heed your warning you told him not to be in the front lines because he will die and he waved it off and I'm the only one that's still alive that was in that meeting I don't need to prove it to anyone cause I know it's true."

She looked outside again and the dark clouds getting closer.

" Maysi I'm not sure if I should thank you or your just being foolish but thank you all the same I'm glad that I'm not the only one still looking out for Ferelden."

Leliana came in with the food." May here's the food you asked for ah I see our newest member is awake that's good yes oh before I forget Ogrehen wants to leave already and Riordan said that we need to head to Redcliff." Her accent thick Loghain eyed her for a bit.

" Thank you Leliana tell everybody to get some rest tomorrow we leave for Redcliff I do not want to put this on waiting anymore I'm ready and the armies are already coming together ok." Leliana just nodded and left.

"Hey commander was getting a message from the citadel it's from the council they want you to go meet them I bet it's gonna be lame but hey I'm not the specter here." Joker said over the com,

" ok Joker set route to the citadel I want to see if they finally believe me about the reapers." Shepard said already sounding pissed the council did that to her.

"Commander I doubt that." He worked away with the preparing for the jump through the relay it was jokers favorite part about flying the Normandy she was amazing and so was the pilot at her helm. She walked towards the cockpit,

"Alenko suit up your with me."

"yes sir." Alenko smiled happy to be with the woman he loved but she didn't see him smile since she was already heading towards the elevator down to engineering. The doors opened up and she saw Garrus like always working on the mako because of Shepard's "amazing" driving skills,

" hey Garrus." He looked up from whatever he was fixing.

"yes commander?" those avian eyes looking at her always gave her chills like a predator looking at its next meal.

"Garrus you're with me and Alenko on the ground team meeting with the council."

" ok commander." She nodded and went to the elevator. Shepard walked to her locker and went to the sleeping quarters and started to change she never felt comfortable changing in front of others. She put on the under suit and then the rest of her armor on.

"making the jump." Joker said and then there was a quick shift and a few seconds later they were in citadel space again.

" Alright now that is how you do it oh yeah!" joker said to himself proud of what he did he took them in slowly and docked the ship.

"ok commander you're good to go."

" ok Joker ground team lets go she looked at Alenko and Garrus they both nodded and were of the ship and down the elevator to the c-sec station.

"Ah commander good of you to join us we have been looking into the reports you've send in and we don't allow It." said the turian council member. Shepard was clenching her fist already she hated them.

" These are false documents we have no records of this Ilos and prof of these so called reapers." The salarian said sounding annoyed,

" what you can't be serious you have your prof what happened at Eden prime the information we have brought you and the…"close to throwing them her boot,

"ah your vision commander you need to rest we have grounded your ship and are forbidden to leave." The asari said already making there leave.

"I can't believe this." Shepard stormed out and left the rest of her team to catch up.

"Stupid mother fuckin bastards I can't believe this."

"Commander I think we should head to the flux you need a drink commander." Garrus made what looked like a turian version of a smile as he reached for her shoulder the biotic just stared at him.

"Garrus I like the way you think." Her Omni tool started to glow and saw it was Anderson he wanted to meet her in the flux for something important.

"Garrus, Alenko go tell joker what happened I'll be there shortly dismissed. "They looked at her with a question but agreed with the order anyways,

"commander." They both said in unison and left.

She walked through the citadel down the market district and into flux she saw her old commanding officer sitting in the back and walked towards him.

"Shepard I bet your wondering why I called you here." Shepard just nodded," I know what happened with the council and I know to how to temporarily break the grounded order on the Normandy but you need to move quickly understood I believe you I was there what the reapers did on Eden prime they won't get away with this go back to the Normandy and tell joker you will have a few seconds to leave but it needs to be done quickly ok Shepard.",

"Anderson thank you." She gave a quick salute and ran to the c-sec docking bay and went to the Normandy.

"joker when you see the release you get us the hell out of here understood." She yelled as she was heading down to the CIC.

"aye commander." He saw his screen light up.

"oh yeah let's get the hell out of here girl." And they were heading for the relay.

"Everyone we are headed towards what could possibly be our last mission." Everyone gathered together at the CIC looking at each other but not scared she continued.

"we have had our trials hardships even a point to where we were about to shoot each other." She looked at Wrex and he gave her a grin.

"we have been in some deep trouble before but this is the big one we found Ilos we know what they are planning and we are going to stop them." She smashed her hand on the rail and Garrus looked amused with Liara and Tali behind him.

"we are not going to let them destroy our homes or our futures we going to fight back and show them what happens when you mess with my crew!" everyone busted out into cheers.

" Commander two hours before the relay jump.","ok joker." She walked to the kitchen and grabbed some of whatever they served and brought it down to the engineering room the elevator doors opened up and she walked out.

"Wrex, Garrus you're with me on the ground team. "They both nodded and they went back to their usual thing, she walked over to Garrus.

"Hey Garrus how is she? "He came out from under the mako and stood up.

" Well commander other than your horrible driving skills and your constant love of making her fall from mountain's and into lava she'll be fine I just need a few more tinks to work out and the mako will be good to go for another crash test."He laughed and Shepard just grinned and shook her head.

"well Garrus since you think be a smart ass."He cut her off, "funny smart ass commander oh and damn sexy."

She tried to hold it together and she couldn't she had to hold herself on to the mako before she fell to the floor of just laughing her ass off.

"ah Garrus you're the best."

"That's what she said. "She just looked up and continued to laugh.

"Garrus have you been talking to joker?" she raised a brow and he nodded,

"well anyways Garrus I'll help you with the mako."

" good maybe we can finish it faster what are you most familiar with Shepard?"

" The hood. "They both nodded and went to work. Alenko came to the commander's room and he found it empty,

"joker where's the commander?", "she's down at engineering.",

"ok thanks. "He was already clenching his fist she's always with that damned turian. He went to the elevators. When the doors open he saw her she was inside the mako to fix something in the engine.

" Commander." He said getting out of the elevators.

"Ah shit great. "She said softly and letting out a big sigh, Garrus just let out a small chuckle. "What is it Alenko? She maintained her commander face.

"I was hoping I could talk to you commander... in private."

She looked at him and sighed,

"Fine let's go. "He smiled and led her to the elevators and to her room.

"what is it Alenko?"

"well commander I really care about you and we don't know if we will come out of this alive so i…" she was really annoyed of this she wasn't interested in anybody and she still had Liara and kaiden grabbing for her attention and already refused Liara and she thought that she had refused kaiden's as well very persistent this one it might have worked others woman but not this one.

"look Alenko I'm pretty sure I have made myself clear before I'm not interested nor will I ever be I am sorry if you thought I was leading you on but I wasn't you were leading yourself on now if you excuse me I have an engine to fix."

She left the room to a hurt lieutenant and headed to finish her work. After an hour they were done with the mako.

"ok done that's good Garrus Wrex suit up were almost there."

All three nodded and head to their lockers. "Shepard so what happened with the emotional human." She looked up and then to the krogan battlemaster,

"ah Wrex always in for the details huh, well the lieutenant thought he could get a quickie one before we went to what could possibly our doom."

"ha poor human should have maned up and just demanded it like our females do, You humans are too emotional except for you Shepard. Garrus shot him a look,

"Wrex are you comparing the lieutenant to a female krogan?"

"true to much of a compliment hmmmmm more like a weak human female."

"I would be super bored without you guys are you aware of that?"

"course we are right Wrex." He just nodded.

" Commander twenty minutes until we reach Ilos." Joker said over the com.

"Thanks joker."

I hoped you guys liked it please R/R and advice and tips or critiques are really helpful to me! =D I wrote a long chapter but I hope you liked it.