omg, I can't believe it... my first fanfic ever! Please R&R! I would love to read your comment/opinion on the first part of my story, maybe about the grammar (since English isn't my first language ^^) or even the plot. So... yoroshiku onegaishimasu!


Takano always loved Ritsu, back then and now. He loved Oda Ritsu, the shy and (strangely) kind-hearted boy who straightforwardly confessed his love to him in the library. The first-year student who kept looking away when he stared at him, whose face would instantly turned red when he kissed his cheek (and burning red when he kissed him on the lips), and always got nervous when they hold hand. He was the first person who taught him how to love, while in the same made him knew the feeling of being loved. He loved him unconditionally; he never had any expectation that one day Takano – Saga-senpai – would love him as much as he did. Ritsu had given him everything – his body, his heart, his love. Only God knew how much he had adored Ritsu for being so strong and honest. When he had called him "gross" and "annoying", Ritsu still cared fore him. He had brought him an umbrella and smiled at him groggily as if nothing had happened. Ever since that day, Takano had started having a weird feeling when the younger boy been around ― a warm feeling that he could not express. The way Ritsu smiled made his heart raced, he sworn he could see stars sparkling around him. And, damn it, when he looked straight at him (which was very rare), Takano wished he could drown into those green orbs forever. The only problem was: Ritsu didn't know this.

"Senpai,do you love me?"

His question had struck him ― what,he's asking that now? He snorted. Silly.

But Takano had to admit that he might be an idiot, too. Who knew that his laugh would be the cause of the 'colossal misunderstanding'? He really had no idea that his laugh had broken the little confidence Ritsu had into pieces. When he thought about that again, maybe he did deserve one straight punch in the face (though, in fact, Ritsu indeed had kicked him before disappeared the next day).

And now, ten years later, he met the new editor in his division. His name was Onodera Ritsu. His brown hair and gorgeous green eyes reminded him so much of his Ritsu ― God, even they had the same name! Is it possible that he…? Takano didn't dare to hope. He took a good look at the person before him. Ritsu ― Oda Ritsu― always looked at him with loving gaze and shy smile, while this guy kept looking at him with scornful eyes. He even had the guts to swear at him. Oh no, just no. He was NOT Oda Ritsu.

Despite his doubt, Takano was certain that Onodera Ritsu and Oda Ritsu were the same person. He was so scared because it seemed that Ritsu didn't know who he was. What if he had completely forgotten him? Did he really forget? Before he could think of another possibility, his body moved on its own. He pinned Ritsu down the couch. His brown eyes stared deeply at the familiar green eyes. He grabbed both of his arms and kissed him. It still felt the same as if nothing happened in the past ten years. The taste of his lips, his scent, his body heat ― everything.

He would have him saying those words again. He would do anything to make Ritsu love him again. He would do anything to get him back and this time he would tell properly how much he loved him.

Someone shook his body roughly. Takano lazily opened his eyes, back to the reality. He fell asleep on his desk, which is covered by hundreds sheets of manuscript.

"Takano-san, just wake up already! Everyone had left ages ago, you know!"

There he was, the person who'd been in his dream and ironically also the one who'd disturbed it. "You're still here," That was a statement. Ritsu glared at him, "Well, I'm going now." Takano watched as his subordinate walked away, he snatched his bag and followed him. Ritsu stood still in front of the elevator, his face was all red ― it was obvious that he was nervous. Takano smiled a little. Did he know that he looked so cute like that? He decided to tease him by standing very close until their shoulders brushed against each other. Ritsu avoided his gaze, tightening his grip on his briefcase. He gasped when Takano suddenly linked their hands together. The shorter man tried to pull his hand away, unfortunately Takano was too strong for him. The elevator opened and Takano dragged him in. they kept holding hand without saying anything. Both of them knew that there were so many things they wanted to ask, but somehow the words just stuck. It is always like this, Takano thought. Back then and now, everytime I am alone with him I couldn't find any topic to talk about except the books we liked. I couldn't bring myself to ask him about what he liked or disliked, his favorite color,or his favorite place beside library. I also never asked him out on a proper date. Takano closed his eyes, he unconsciously held Ritsu's hand tighter.

"U-uhm, Ta-Takano-san?"

The editor-in-chief wondered whether 'Saga-senpai' and 'Takano-san' were two different person, at least for Ritsu. There were times when the way Ritsu said 'Takano-san' chimed in his ears exactly like the way his kouhai had called him 'Saga-senpai' back then. It made his heart ached. Sometimes he wanted to turn back the time and reset everything. He always told Ritsu that the whole misunderstanding between them had happened because the younger editor had been an idiot, but deep inside he felt a twinge of guilt. He should have known how sensitive Ritsu could be, especially about their relationship. He had never said how he had been madly in love with him. He regretted it now because the only time he had said 'I love you' to Ritsu he didn't really mean it. When Ritsu had confessed to him he just wanted to destroy the poor boy's hope to release his anger. However, in the end he was the one who had been thrown into the heartbreak territory.

Apparently, Takano wasn't aware that that they had reached the first floor. A hard smack landed on his head.

"OUCH! What the hell-!"

Ritsu glared at him. Seriously,what was his problem? Takano thought. He's been glaring at me all day, plus he was so quiet today.

Ritsu managed to release his hand from Takano's death grip. "E-Excuse me, I have to leave first. Goodnight." He said nervously without even looking at his boss. "Wait, Onodera," Takano caught his collar and dragging him outside the building. "Stay here, I'll get the car,"

"NO! I-I mean… no, reall-"

"Stay. Here."

Risu flinched slightly when he heard the irritated tone in his supervisor's voice. Takano cursed himself. He didn't mean to scare him like that, but the thought of Ritsu avoiding him really pissed him off. The brunette had been acting strange lately, if he wasn't mistaken it had been after his father had sent to the hospital last month. He became so much quieter, he didn't even snarled back when Takano teased him. He didn't have anything to complaint, though, since Ritsu was still hardworking and he did a good job promoting some new authors. What hurt him the most was the fact that Ritsu was clearly avoiding him. He tried not to stay alone in the same room with his ex-boyfriend and always spacing out in the resting room (pretending to sleep, although Takano knew that he wasn't). He even had that blank expression of his right now.

On the way home the usual silence had encircled them. This had been their biggest problem since they first had started dating ― a problem in which both of them had never tried to solve it.

"Oi, Onodera," He glanced at Ritsu when he didn't get a reply. The person beside him seemed so lost in his thought, he probably didn't hear him calling. Takano sighed softly, averting his eyes back to the long road. The next fifteen minutes felt like hell for him because Ritsu really had not said anything and it worried him.

By the time they arrived at their mansion, Ritsu opened the door quietly while saying a quick 'thank you' to his boss. Takano practically yelled at him but he just got into the lift, leaving a very shocked Takano Masamune behind.