Fear and Blame
Summary: It wasn't true. It couldn't be. Anything was better than what he suspected of the few words Blaine had managed to spit out. He almost wished Blaine had cheated on him. Anything was better than this.
Warning: Mentions of non-con.
A/N: I've officially succumbed to peer pressure. Alright I'll continue it, but it's going to be a series of interconnected oneshots though and none of them will be particularly long.
I'm considering having each oneshot focus on a different person involved. So far, the first focusses on Blaine, the second on Kurt, and the third on Jeff, and we'll see what happens with the others.
P.S. I refuse to let this get in the way of Fallout, which I began posting first (months ago) and it will come first. I finished Chapter 21 already so that's why I'm allowing myself to write these interconnected oneshots.
Kurt stared at the empty space that had just previously been taken up by his distraught boyfriend. That couldn't have really just happened, could it have? Had Blaine really just run from him?
Had he scared him somehow? Had hugging him been the wrong thing to do?
Or maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe he'd misunderstood and Blaine had cheated on him. It would hurt, but it'd be so much better than the alternative.
His let his shaking fingers reach into his satchel and he pulled out his cell phone, dialling quickly, "Jeff?" He asked quickly when the other boy had picked up. Other than Blaine he'd been Kurt's closest friend at Dalton; the only one he'd voluntarily shared his secret longing for Blaine with before Blaine had stopped being so oblivious.
"Hey Kurt," Jeff's voice sounded a little awkward, "What's going on?"
"I need to ask you something and I need you to tell me the truth," Kurt told him in a thick voice, "Can you do that for me?"
"I- I guess so," Kurt could hear the stutter even through the tinny sound of the cell phone. The other boy knew something.
"Has Sebastian said anything about Blaine lately?" Kurt asked, his voice strained and he bit down on his lip as a long silence passed between them.
"Kurt you're a good friend and I really don't want to lie to you, but Blaine- he was my friend first you know- and I don't agree with what he did or anything, but I feel like I'd be betraying him if I answered that question," Jeff's voice came careful through the phone.
"What did Sebastian say?" Kurt asked, his tone leaving no room for any beating about the bush. This was serious, even if Jeff didn't realize just how serious it was.
"Well he and Nick are kind of buddy-buddy," Jeff explained in a somewhat thick voice. Kurt waited for the explanation to continue. He was very aware how Jeff had overheard, the slight blond boy was very close friends with Nick; although when Jeff said the other boy's name it sounded strained. "I've told him I don't like Sebastian very much, but- he says he's allowed to have friends I don't like- we kind of argued about it-"
"Jeff get to the point-"
"Nick doesn't like you very much, or Blaine for that matter," Jeff blurted softly. "He was jealous that you got a duet at Regionals 'just because Blaine liked you', at least that's the way he sees it. I personally thought you deserved it-"
"I overheard them talking..." the other boy trailed off softly.
"Jeff please, just tell me," Kurt whispered, his voice breaking.
"Sebastian was bragging about how he and Blaine had a quick fumble in the backseat of his car," Jeff mumbled quickly, "Nick thought it was hilarious."
"He thought it was funny?" Kurt asked incredulously. His fingers tightened around the phone. "How are you best friends with him?"
"It's just that he doesn't like you and now that Blaine's gone he actually gets a chance to shine and I think he's just amused that Blaine would transfer for you and then go and do that," Jeff added in defense of his friend.
"Go and what, get raped?" Kurt asked, not bothering to hide the venom dripping from his tone.
"What?" Jeff demanded through the phone, "What are you talking about?"
"There's a giant bruise all across one side his face that he's been hiding with make-up," Kurt growled angrily. "He freaks out when anyone touches him or gets too close and the mere mention of sex sets him off. What do you think happened?"
"No Kurt," Jeff's voice was soft and disbelieving, "You- you're probably misinterpreting it. He probably just feels guilty."
"Maybe- maybe he fell?"
"I doubt it," Kurt shook his head and let the whisper fall from his lips, "He said something about it tasting funny. I don't know what he meant by 'it' but-"
"I bought him a coffee and that's all it took," Jeff let out the whisper in shock, "I screwed him in the backseat of my car."
"That's what Sebastian said to Nick, or something pretty similar; he was more vulgar about it," Jeff murmured in a quiet voice. "Shit Kurt, I didn't know. I didn't realize." There was a shaky pause, "Nick just laughed. He laughed, but- but he didn't know- Sebastian must have drugged Blaine's coffee."
"Jeff whatever you do don't confront him," Kurt advised quickly. "Just pretend everything's normal okay? I'm going to try to convince Blaine to go to the cops and I don't want the bastard trying to run, okay?"
"I have to tell Nick," Jeff argued, sounding panicked. "Sebastian's been looking at him the way he looked when he saw Blaine. I didn't think anything of it, because well- I didn't see the harm in it because Nick's straight- somehow though I can't see that deterring Sebastian if he's capable of- of- well- rape."
"Just distract him from being alone with him for as long as you can," Kurt told him in a firm voice. As much as he wanted to throttle Nick right now, the other boy certainly didn't deserve that. "If we're lucky they'll arrest Sebastian today or something."
"Jeff I need you to do this for me. He can't get away with this," Kurt stressed the words as a tear slid down his cheek. "Look, I have to go. I have to find Blaine. I can only imagine what he must be thinking right now."
"Okay, okay," Jeff murmured, "Let me know if anything changes, okay Kurt? Keep me in the loop so- so I can try to keep the same thing from happening to Nick, okay?"
"Okay," Kurt told him softly, before hanging up his phone and taking a deep, shaking breath. He stood to his feet and tapped out a text message to Blaine.
To: Blaine :)
Honey, come back. We need 2 talk about this. It's not ur fault. I love u.
There was no answer and Kurt paced around the room nervously for a few minutes, before tapping out another message.
To: Blaine :)
I'm not going 2 leave the choir room until we talk so unless u want me 2 sleep here…
He paced for a few more minutes when his phone let out a chirp.
He sank back into his seat and waited until he saw Blaine standing in the doorway, the oddly shaped bruise peeking through the slightly smeared make-up on his face and his eyes rimmed red with tears. "Hi," he heard the other boy whimper out softly.
"Why'd you run from me?" Kurt asked in a gentle voice, taking a tentative step forward. "Did I scare you or something? I'm really sorry if I did something wrong Blaine. Please don't run from me again."
"I just didn't want you to yell at me," Blaine whispered out in a small hoarse voice. "I was so stupid. I deserve to be yelled at, but I just couldn't take it, not from you."
"I wasn't going to yell at you," Kurt felt his heart beginning to ache as if a fist had started wringing and twisting it like a sponge. "I just- I need you to tell me what happened, Blaine."
"I was stupid, that's what happened," Blaine shrugged his shoulders, looking away from him.
The word stupid physically pained him, "Stop saying that. You weren't stupid. He was supposed to be your friend and he abused that, Blaine. That's not your fault." There was a pause, "What happened, Blaine?"
"He bought me a coffee," Blaine whispered as Kurt tentatively stepped towards him again.
Kurt ached to take him into his arms again, but couldn't risk scaring him off. Instead he just outstretched his arms lightly and hoped Blaine would step into them. Blaine's foot moved forward and his body slid into his outstretched arms. Kurt gently pulled him close and listened as Blaine continued speaking.
"It tasted funny, but- but I thought maybe the barista was new and screwed it up and- and I didn't want to embarrass her by going back and making her make a new one," Blaine murmured, his head resting under Kurt's chin and Kurt felt Blaine's arms snake around his waist and clutch him tightly. "Then we were leaving and everything got so blurry and I fell and Sebastian, he helped me up. I thought he was just being a good friend. He- he offered to drive me home." There was a pause as Blaine's lips moved softly and the whisper came out, "It gets fuzzy after that."
"Hey, it's okay," Kurt placated softly, running a soothing hand over Blaine's hair.
"It's just images and feelings and snippets of words and-"
"You were probably fading in and out," Kurt told him gently, "That's not your fault. That's his."
"He said you'd hate me," Blaine whispered and Kurt tightened his arms around the other boy at the words.
"I will never, ever hate you," he promised fervently, "Never ever, Blaine. He lied to you to keep you quiet. He lied, just like he lied about everything else."
"I was weak-"
"No, you were drugged," Kurt corrected him gently, trying to keep his chest from exploding from the anger and pain ricocheting inside him. He took a deep breath and paused, "Blaine you need to go to the police. You need to report this."
"I can't," Blaine murmured shakily, and Kurt felt the tears on Blaine's face wetly against his neck.
"You have to," Kurt told him forcefully. "When you left- I called Jeff. I needed- I needed to hear if Sebastian said anything about you." Blaine whimpered against his neck. "Sebastian may have found another target Blaine. He needs to be stopped. Jeff can only keep Nick distracted for so long."
"Jeff knows," Blaine mumbled, turning his head and glossy hazel eyes locked onto his, "You told Jeff?"
"I had to," Kurt told him in a gentle voice. "I had to know if it was true and Jeff- Jeff noticed that Sebastian was looking at Nick the same way he would look at you."
"Kurt it was days ago," Blaine's voice picked up softly, pressing close to him again, "There- there won't be any proof. After seventy-two hours all- all the evidence it was him is gone."
"So they won't be able to tell if you were drugged," Kurt said in a soft tone, "but they'll be able to tell it happened and you remember it was him." He paused for a moment, "Do you still have the clothes you were wearing?"
Blaine nodded against him.
"You said you fell," Kurt felt his heart squeeze with a very slight hope, "Maybe some of the coffee he gave you got on them? I bet- I bet they'll even be able to find skin particles or something on them too." He never though thinking Carmine Giovinazzio was hot would come so in handy.
"The-" Blaine's whisper was hesitant, "the coffee got all over my shirt."
"See?" Kurt asked in a reassuring voice. "We can still get him." He felt Blaine sag against him and he lowered them both to the floor, letting Blaine crawl into his lap.
"They're all going to hate me," Blaine whispered, his voice tiny. "I can't let them know. They- they already don't like me. They think I'm annoying and they don't want me here but I don't want them to hate me too."
"Who?" Kurt whispered, his face crumpling into a deeper frown at the pain in Blaine's voice.
"Your friends," he squeezed Blaine tighter at the answer.
"Nobody is going to hate you," he promised softly, rocking him back and forth like he was a small child. "They'll know it wasn't your fault. They'll understand. If- if they don't they're not my friends, okay?"
"Why don't they care Kurt? Why can't they see? It hurts so much and nobody notices," Blaine was whispering and Kurt found his eyes looking up at the door. Sam was standing there looking slack-jawed as Kurt comforted the other boy.
"Um- sorry, didn't mean to interrupt," Sam muttered as Kurt watched his eyes look over the both of them, "He alright?"
"No," Kurt snapped irately. "You and Finn treated him like shit today and he's already- he's already been-" Kurt stopped, unwilling to say it in case it upset Blaine even further. He paused, "Sam, do you have a car? Finn drove us in today."
"My parents bought me an old junker when my dad got his new job," he revealed in a quiet voice. "You need me to take you somewhere?"
"Blaine's house, and then the police station," Kurt said in a deliberate voice, barely containing his anger. They hadn't known, no, but it wasn't an excuse for the way they'd treated his boyfriend. "Think you can manage that?"
"Um sure," Sam mumbled, still looking very uncomfortable. He looked from Kurt to Blaine, before asking, "Do- do you need any help?"
"I think we're fine," Kurt mumbled, managing to get to his feet and gently pulling Blaine up with him. He carefully brushed Blaine off and looked back over at Sam to see that the taller boy had finally noticed the bruise on Blaine's face.
"That wasn't there a half hour ago," Sam commented in a quiet voice. "What happened?"
Blaine turned back into him and Kurt just shook his head angrily, snapping, "It was there Sam, but nobody looked close enough to notice. You were all too wrapped up in your own lives to notice." He didn't add that he'd been too, that he'd failed Blaine just as much as everyone else had, maybe more.
"Who hit him?" Sam asked, rephrasing the question, his voice darkening in anger.
"Don't pretend you care," Blaine murmured, speaking for the first time since Sam had entered the room.
"Hey, just because I don't like what you said earlier doesn't mean I don't care," Sam's voice tightened at the other boy, but he looked regretful of his tone as soon as other shorter boy winced visibly. "You're a part of the glee club and you're dating my friend, so of course I care."
"Great, so it's only out of obligation," Blaine whispered with a shake of his head, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Kurt sighed sadly and reached to gently clear away some of the tears his boyfriend had missed.
"Dude, I don't know you very well, that's all," Sam's voice softened even more and Kurt tightened his arm around Blaine gently. "I'm sure- I'm sure you're a good guy considering how much Kurt cares about you."
"How much I love him," Kurt corrected in a gentle voice, before aiming it at Blaine, "I love you Blaine, that's not going to change."
"And I'm sorry I got so angry at you earlier; I'm just- testy about my job. I don't like it either, but it's something I had to do," Sam added in a soft voice. There was a pause and Kurt winced on Blaine's behalf as a look of realization passed over Sam's face. "You need me to take you to the police station," he murmured after a moment, "and- and- Blaine got so upset about what I said- oh- oh-" a pause and then the earlier question came again, but even more furious and tight, "Who?"
"Sam, don't," Kurt said warningly. "This isn't the time, okay?"
"I just- I'm sorry okay?" He seemed to be speaking more carefully this time. "I'm sorry it happened- and- I want-" a pause, "God I just want to hit somebody."
Kurt couldn't argue with that, except he wanted to kill someone and he had a specific person in mind. He swallowed purposefully, before saying in a firm voice, "That's not helpful Sam." Kurt aimed Blaine towards the door, walking with him and leading him at the same time, before shooting a look at Sam, "Blaine's house first, then the police station, okay?"
"Okay," Sam's shoulders slumped visibly and walked in front of them, leading them towards the parking lot and his car.
A/N: Leave a review?
Part 3 will be called: Your Hate is Intoxicating.