Just Breathe

"It would have helped, had he made her understand. But she was always strong-willed, that one, and did not understand war as Revan did."-Kreia

"I'm a lucky man to count on both hands

The ones I love,..

Some folks just have one,

Others they got none, aw huh,.." –Eddie Vedder

Once again his mind was divided, one side telling him what he was about to do was right, and the other saying it was wrong, that she would never understand. He knew both sides told an equal truth, and gave equal time to both sides. Outside the room, the sound of speeder traffic drifted and grew with each passing moment. A constant reminder of how far they were from where it all started.

It had been months since his memories had started to fully return, memories that he wished he never had to relive. Millions of his Jedi comrades slain by his own hand, planets bombed into submission, entire fleets destroyed. There had been a time where he no memories of these events, a time where he truly felt at peace. Now, that time felt like an eternity ago, as ancient as the Sith Tombs on Korriban.

The sound of rustling behind him snapped him out of his thoughts. Looking back, he saw Bastila, still asleep, searching for his warmth. Sending her his presence through the bond, he smiled as she fell back into a deep sleep. Silently extending his hand, his lightsaber flew off the night-table and into his hand. Clipping it onto his belt, he silently walked back over to the bed.

She was beautiful even when she slept, her hair disheveled and her eyes enclosed in a dream. He smiled, enjoying the memories of the past year of their lives. He only wished that it won't end this way, with him leaving. Not leaving her for someone else, but leaving to protect her.

"Revan?" he heard her say, although he knew she wasn't fully aware of what was happening. She still believed that she was in a dream.

"Right here, my love." He answered her, reaching over to gently move a few stray hairs out of her face. She smiled at the gesture, as she often did. He let his hand linger on her cheeks, knowing that he would want to remember this moment forever. Returning his hand to his side, he leaned down to kiss her, yet another moment he would want to keep.

"I promise you I'll come back someday. I promise." He said, standing back up and heading to the door. He stood there for a few moments, turning back to look at her one last time.

"Someday you'll forgive me. " He said silently, and turned to leave. T3 had already prepared the Ebon Hawk for launch, although the droid didn't know the destination.

He had left a note for her, explaining why she would wake up and find him gone. She wouldn't understand, he knew, but he had to try. Try to let her know that he truly loved her, even if she hated him after this. He had sent Carth a similar message, telling him to protect the Republic at all costs. He knew what was going to come, and if Revan could have one legacy, it would be that he defended the Republic at all costs, even if it meant sacrificing his own life. As he turned around to face the landing pad, he imagined her there, begging him to stay. And over and over again, his final words to her rang out.

Someday you'll forgive me