A/N: Sorry for the wait. Work, final exams, group projects and just university in general is killing me.

Allen wanted, more than anything, to run up to Kanda and explain. To confess. That he hadn't wanted to leave, that he hadn't realized, that he had never stopped thinking about him.

But he wouldn't, he couldn't do that now. Kanda didn't seem very angry with him, mildly vexed sure, but when wasn't he? It was true that Kanda always slipped off before he could but he would probably get over it.

In the meantime, he showed Conrad around the Order and went on medium level missions.


Kanda felt like a stalker, almost constantly watching Allen from the shadows or out of the corner of his eye (and he was pretty sure that Lenalee was catching on). He knew that Moyashi wanted to speak with him, but it couldn't do it, especially not in public. He was so sure that he would do or say something embarrassing. Allen wasn't a complete idiot, surely he would realize... and he'd probably be horrified. Just because Allen had wanted to be friends, that didn't mean...

And he had that thing, that evil apprentice, who he probably liked more than anyone... and who wasn't objectively bad looking. Surely if he liked guys at all then...

No, he wouldn't think about that. He couldn't. Suddenly, as much as he didn't want to know, he had to. It was critical to his sanity. Perhaps some eavesdropping was in order.

Kanda approached Allen's room cautiously.


Conrad and Allen were sitting across from each other at the little table in Allen's room, having met there for what Conrad had deemed a "serious discussion." The boy seemed nervous but Allen wasn't quite sure why.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Well master, it's a little embarrassing but have you ever really liked someone and not known how to say so?"

"Erm, I suppose so."

"How did you end up telling them?"

"I never did... I realized too late."

"So you couldn't tell them because you didn't know? How did you figure it out? Did they like you back?"

"Yeah, after I left I couldn't stop thinking about them... er, I mean...yeah. I think so, but I doubt I'll ever really know."

"Oh, okay then. Um, what sort of things does Lenalee like?"


Kanda left to go murder a poor defenseless tree. So Allen did like someone, but it sure as hell wasn;t him because there is now way he could have known...

So then who was it? Clearly not Lenalee... Lavi still wasn't back yet, so maybe he was the one... if so Allen would be sorely disappointed. Plus Kanda would end up killing Lavi for breaking Allen's heart.

But maybe it wasn't Lavi after all... it could be any of a number of female exorcists, finders or scientists. He didn't know which would be more painful, to be discounted entirely as even being a possibility or to have a chance and not make the cut.

When he finished "training" that are of the forest looked as if a bomb had gone off.


Allen sighed, he wanted to get close to Kanda, he really did, but he was actively being avoided.

Cross knew exactly what he was up to and would alternately chuckle at his failures and slap him on the back and tell him to be a man.

Actually, it seemed like half the order knew or suspected... and if they all knew then maybe Kanda knew too. It would explain a lot, including the fact that Kanda would stare at him occasionally but he was caught he'd look horrified.


Conrad had also noticed and he'd decide that setting his master up with the scary samurai would give him a good excuse to get close to Lenalee.