Fandom: Dark Angel
Pairing: Alec/Max if you want to interpret it that way
Warnings: heat cycles, humor, joking mention of bestiality
Author: Lily Zen
Notes: For fic_promptly. Dark Angel, Alec, any, post-TC, "Okay. We've got to do something about those cat Anomalies in heat. I haven't slept for three days, and I don't think tossing my shoe at them out the window is going to cut it."
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Alec slunk into the mess hall later than usual. He hadn't showered or shaved yet, which meant he was a good deal scruffier than he normally was. There was a frown on his face and darkened half-moons under his eyes like a faint bruise. He plopped gracelessly into a chair at the table that Max, Joshua, and Dix were eating at. When no one spared him any more attention than a quick hello, he groaned very loudly.
Sighing, he pillowed his head on his arms, and groaned again.
Max shot him an annoyed look and said, "Okay, I'll bite. What's your deal, Alec?"
Shooting her a pitiful look, Alec replied, "We've got to do something about those cat Anomalies in heat. I haven't slept for three days, and I don't think tossing my shoe at them out the window is going to cut it. With my luck, they'd pick it up, figure out which room I'm in, and hunt me down to return it with a side of kitty-claws-in-my-face."
Joshua let out one of his chuffing laughs while Dix chuckled around a mouthful of cream of wheat.
Rolling her eyes, Max let a little smirk play on the corner of her mouth as she said, "You know as well as me that there's only one way to shut 'em up."
"Gettin' busy," Joshua filled in, as though Alec actually didn't know.
"So find 'em a cat-guy and be done with it! Come on, Max, I'm begging you. I don't have shark genes; I need my beauty sleep." He looked at her pleadingly.
Sighing, she said, "Don't you think I've tried? It's getting out of control. I can hear strays yowling blocks away." With a sudden brightening of her features, Max added, "Hey, do you think it'd work if we had somebody else with cat DNA do 'em?" A devilish look was in her eyes as she pointedly surveyed Alec. "We could put you out to stud." Her laugh wasn't particularly nice, and neither was Dix's as he spewed his breakfast cereal out and started slapping the tabletop wildly.
Joshua looked at them both with vague, confused puppy-dog eyes, the joke having flown over his head.
Alec harrumphed indignantly and sat up. "There's a difference between catting around and bestiality," he retorted prudishly.
"Not much," Dix coughed, and Max high-fived him while she cackled.
"Nice one," she congratulated him.
"Hey, you threw the ball, I'm just running with it," their resident tech-genius replied.
"You guys are mean," Alec said, an almost-pout on his stubble-ridden face.
"Hey, come on," Max drawled, "It can't be all that bad. Those cat-ladies are a lot cleaner than some of your hook-ups. Sure, you may end up with a couple scratches, but that can't be too out of the norm for you." She tossed her spoon back on her plate, and moved to stand.
"That's disgusting," Alec blanched.
With an evil smirk, Max licked her palm as she swept around the table, and smacked him on the forehead with it. "Not as gross as that," she laughed, and kept walking trilling over her shoulder, "Lickidoll!"
"Yuck!" Alec made a face, wiping his forehead on the sleeve of his sweater. "What the hell was that? Bleck."
Joshua let out a low woof of laughter. "Lickidoll. Flirt. You and Max gettin' busy."
"What?" Alec spluttered. "Hell no! What the...?"
Dix started laughing again, a light blush appearing on his lumpy face. "It's happening all over. They're all starting to go into heat. Syncing up their cycles."
"Oh, god," Alec groaned, and face-planted on the table. Murmuring into the plastic, his words might have been, "I'm never going to get any sleep now."