Disclaimer: I own nothing Twi-related, and I also don't own the lyrics posted below. I do own this plot, and ask that you do not copy, translate it, or any of that other business without my permission. Thank you.
WARNING: This story contains mature situations including (but not limited to): Violence, Language, Sexual abuse, Mental abuse, Physical abuse, etc... Please do not read unless you're 18 or older.
Let's get on with it, shall we?
See you at the bottom, kittens.
"Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a Skyscraper
Like a Skyscraper
As the smoke clears—I awaken
And untangle you from me
Would it make you feel better to watch me while I bleed?"
- Skyscraper, by: Demi Lovato
Having Jasper here with me has been a lot easier than I thought it would. Bella has kept him busy with the move, and he's been trying to get everything settled for me before I'm discharged from the hospital.
Royce is still being detained, but I'm realistic to know that the clock is ticking. My conscience knows that time is running out for me, and I just pray that he's used the past couple days of sobriety to clear his head and move on from this.
I know we'll need to be prepared, and that's why we've all agreed that it makes the most sense for me to not stay alone until we know we're all out of danger. Bella, bless her soul, is a bit of a hellcat, and could've potentially made things much worse by attacking Royce when he came to the hospital.
I'm not proud of the fact that I'll need to practically be babysat for the next few months, or even possibly years, but I know it's a necessity. If anyone knows how dangerous Royce King is, it's me.
Royce is set to be released tomorrow, and they are working all night to make sure the apartment is empty of my things and not a disaster area for him to return to.
I can't help but think back to happier times, like when I started to see Royce. I saw a mysterious bad boy and I ran with it. I was such a fool to think that I could be the girl to tame him. Royce King is the equivalent to a lightning strike; completely mysterious and unpredictable, beautiful to see but deadly to encounter. He lashes out with an unprecedented force, a frazzled flame—turning everything he touches into chaos.
I was never a match for him.
Royce should've been with a strong girl, a girl who could actually put him in his place and stand up to him. Someone who wasn't afraid of him and would've shown it from the start. Somebody like Bella, who could stand her ground and fight for what she knew is right.
Instead, he chose me, the weak, amendable little girl with mommy issues and a smothering older brother. I was a perfect target for him. A punching bag, a body to use and bend at his will. I had always been at Royce's mercy. Where others saw danger and violence, I saw a project.
For the first time in years I'm finally admitting to myself that I could never—and would never have been able to fix Royce. I know I've done everything in my power to help him be a better person, and he's chosen not to.
Bella's been trying to get me to leave him for years, and I never told her how bad he was to me. I suspect she's always known, and therefore, always hated him. I can't even count how many times I tried to defend him, or how many times I tried to make excuses for the bruises and cuts she'd find littered across my body.
It's taken me so long to realize that every tender moment Royce and I shared—as of the past few years—has only been after he's done something horrific to me. Every soft kiss or sweet word has been uttered after he's raised his hands and struck me with them.
Royce was so sweet and charming in the beginning, but it didn't last, and that part of him as been gone a very long time. That part of Royce is dead, and maybe a part of me died with him. I know a part of me died the night he raped me, and I'll never see that part of myself again.
I was so naïve to believe that he would never hurt me in that way. Royce hasn't been soft or gentile in any aspect of our relationship since we've lived together, but he's never been as evil as that night.
When Doctor Cullen told me…that they found evidence of a sexual assault, I thought I was going to die. I felt like the one last shred of dignity that I had been clutching to had been ripped away from me. Thinking of it now makes my stomach turn and my mouth fill with saliva as a wave of nausea rolls through me.
That was when I knew there was no going back. I could never go back, if I did, Royce was sure to kill me.
And I vowed right there and then to never give him that satisfaction.
I vowed to never let Royce King break me again.
Author's note: Thanks for sticking by me with this. My beta's and I are kicking it in gear, wait...they've always had it in gear, they're going to start kicking MY butt into gear, and hopefully this jabber will be updating more regularly.
See you soon, lovies.