AN: Just found this in my documents of unfinished Bamon fics. I don't really think this cuts it, but whatever. The Bamon community should never run out of fluff. So expect a lot of OOCness, because this is how we manage. Yeah, I'm kinda, sorta back.

(My) Summary: Apparently, in this fic, Jeremy is a terrible dancer and the storyline is far-fetched from what's happening in the series. Inspired from the Black Kids song 'I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You'.

Happy reading. ;)


Damon's been around. To many dances, that is. And he knows a taze dancer when he sees one. The formal event was pretty nice, actually. When they got Klaus and all the other complications out of the picture, what's the best way to celebrate but with a wedding proposal? You would think Stefan would find a hundred ways to be brood about it, but his little brother had made a complete 180 and proposed to Elena once he had come back to his senses. Now they were celebrating their engagement (thanks, Caroline –just in time with that Twilight movie), and as much as he wanted to pass this opportunity with all his undead heart (those 'so sorry she didn't choose you' looks were making him want to drain someone), he had dances to interrupt, and his presence was always an opportunity to create havoc… somehow.

So yes. Damon's been around to many dances, and he knows a taze dancer when he sees one. He could see it in the way that the little Gilbert moved, swishing and swashing his arms in awkward directions, clashing all the beats of techno, and unfortunately, Bonnie's very sexy get-up. What's worse than being pitied on a night like this? Dancing with someone who is a certified dancelexic. Pathetic. He wasn't one to save people… But this, Damon thought, putting down his glass of scotch on the bar and made his way through the dance floor as the DJ started playing a slow song, is unbearable.

Damon clears his throat at the two teenagers, and they pause to give him regard. "We've gone through this before," he announced, eyeing Jeremy. "I am going to cut in."

Jeremy's eyes narrowed in irritation, and he's about to complain (whine), but Bonnie's too good (or too ashamed of her current dance partner) to brush him off on such a nice evening. She puts a gentle hand on Jeremy's shoulder and gives him a smile. "It's ok."

"Scoot, baby G," Damon tells his soon to be brother-in-law as he tugs on Bonnie's hand, and twirls her away. Keeping his eyes on Jeremy, Damon's eyes speak the message: Watch and learn, boy.

When Bonnie's body leans against his, Damon tries hard not to get hot. He's forced to dance the floor when thoughts about doing her on the floor erupted in his head (yes, he's a pig). He's not surprised when Bonnie moves graciously along with him, nonetheless. He's too content and a little bit horny for his own good. It reaffirms his memory that he liked dancing with her, especially the numbers that require real dance steps, mostly because she lets him take the lead willingly. She's a girl who's been to dance classes since she was in diapers, and her supple, flexible body is a testament to that. She's gracious, classy, and has a really warm bum. It's making him want to swoop her out of this place just to announce to everyone that he's not really sad because Elena's going to end up with Stefan.

But it's too soon, he thinks again for the hundredth time that night, giving Bonnie another twirl, and he's mesmerized by the way her hair flutters along with her dress –oh, my little bird. It's been months, but people are people. They'll think she's 'rebound'. They'll think she's 'just a replacement'.

The usually bickering pair are quiet as they dance, most probably because they know that they're always just a breath away from saying something insensitive against each other. It's stupid. Like, 'damn, we're hot, why don't we hook up?' or 'hey, I have those heart feelings for you'. OK, he was clearly thinking too much, but even if he couldn't read Bonnie's mind, he knew she was having a good time. Well, of course she would, considering that they were great dancers. Put them together and they're unbeatable in any dance competition. Just like their reality. They team up, they kick ass, and they fucking win; fact of life. Can anyone blame him for seeing such a simple equation a big reason to realize his growing feelings for Bonnie?

And when Damon dips her down for that final step, he whispers with a smirk, "Your boyfriend looks miserable watching us." He brings Bonnie back up to him, and he's greeted with a roll of eyes. He knew what she was going to say, but he liked to hear it anyway.

"How many times have I told you…?" she asked, resting her palms on his shoulders. "We're not…" her voice dies out when she spots Jeremy leaving the dance floor, as if awakening from a spell from watching them. She would have followed him, but instead, she sighs and leans her head on Damon's chest.

And typical Damon fashion, he ruins the drama by opening his mouth, "So you're telling me that you're single and available? And still a virgin!"

And as expected, it doesn't take much to heat up a pyromaniac. Bonnie glares up at him and gives him a minor aneurism. "Screw you," she mumbles, but presses harder against him. "I told you it was a bad idea to bring him as a date."

"But we have to keep up appearances," Damon says to himself in particular, although he's tightening his lock on her body, fending off any other male (or vampire Barbie) who wanted to dance with her. He could feel the bastards looming behind them. "If we both came without a date, they'd be suspicious." Actually, they wouldn't and if they did, he wouldn't have given a damn, he remembers. He didn't even bring a date. He couldn't even remember what the original plan was about (rebound, what?) now that she's in his arms. Maybe he was getting possessed by the spirit of Saint Stefan for being so serious.

"Right," Bonnie replies, her voice obviously sarcastic. "And now you're basically taking someone else's date. How unsuspicious can you be?"

"It's called 'suspension of belief,' Bonnie."

"I think it's called 'posturing', Salvatore."

"Please, Bennett. Jeremy deserves every bit of disappointment. He hurt you when you guys broke up, and…"

"You've had revenge on him about that so many times already!"

Damon chuckles. "Fine, I'll be honest…" He watches Bonnie look up at him eagerly. He knows this is a rare thing, him 'opening up'. "Stefan has changed. I can't tease him Stefan 'Forehead' Salvatore anymore. And I've moved on. And Jeremy's my new little brother…" As he is about to explain a little more, he notices that the witch is smiling at him with this look of awe on her face. The same look she had when he gave her a stray (bought it in a pet shop) kitten. He frowns. "What?"

"Moved on, huh?"

Elena. Damon rolls his eyes. "How many times have I told you? I'm not really …" He trails off when she starts giggling. "Oh please. You know you love it." He pouts and gives her butt cheek one vampire-speed squeeze.

Bonnie gasps in surprise, but she doesn't set him on fire like she probably would several months ago. She just laughs softly and presses her cheek against the collar of his tuxedo.

Damon feels a bit impatient when she doesn't give him one of her witty comebacks. Or maybe he's a little threatened by the path their conversation has taken. "You know it, right? You believe me, right?" I don't love Elena. Elena feels like a distant memory. "Right?"

"I believe you," Bonnie mutters with a shrug. "Well, I should, considering I'm your only friend."

"There's Ric," Damon points out.

"And Ric," Bonnie agrees willingly.

"Don't care," Damon finally says, and swoops down to give her a warm kiss on the lips. He could feel a couple of eyes land on them. Jeremy's probably crying by now. Stefan breaths a sigh of relief, and Elena's eyes are bulging out of the sockets. He hears Caroline saying how she knew that this was going to happen. He's so proud of himself, and he's about to put the cherry on top. He's about to tell her he loves her, but Bonnie puts a finger to his lips.

"Suspension of disbelief, baby," she reminds him, and the next thing he sees is the twirl of her dress nearing the exit doors.

Deciding he always hated cliffhangers, Damon sprints out to get her like his ass was on fire.


AN: Cheesy, I know. Anyway, I've got a Stefonniemon coming soon. Thanks for reading. :D