Hi! For everyone who's reading "Fragile Things," don't worry, because I almost have the next chapter finished. I was just watching videos of soldiers coming home the other day, and I couldn't not write a fic about it. Plus, I just love the idea of soldier!Blaine. :) I hope you all like this (I loved writing it SO MUCH), and please tell me what you think when you're done reading!
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of it's characters, especially Kurt and Blaine. Sadly.
We are together always
We are together always
There never was a time
was not so."
-Leslie Marmon Silko, Lullaby
Blaine watches hopefully as Sergeant Reid hands out letters to the men in his platoon. He knows that it's unlikely he'll receive a letter—he'd just gotten one from Kurt (God, Kurt) about two weeks ago. But Blaine still waits and wishes, like always. Kurt's neat handwriting and continuous declarations of love are what gets Blaine through this war. The Sergeant moves on past him, and Blaine deflates slightly. He turns away, already drawing up images in his mind of Kurt, Kurt's smell, and Kurt's smile, so he can get through the night, when—
"Anderson. You have a letter." Blaine's belly lurches with want and joy. He takes the letter from Sergeant Reid's outstretched hand, feeling the weight of Kurt's written words in his palm.
"Thank you, sir." Blaine jumps slightly as another solider groans from behind him.
"Jesus Christ, Anderson, you have another letter? Didn't you just get one?"
"Someone loves him," another solider grins; Blaine thinks his name is Jake Ryder. "Whoever it is writes more to you than my wife does to me." Blaine blushes a little, but can't help but feel proud. Someone at home is waiting for him.
"Just lucky, I guess," he explains.
Later that night, a small group including Ryder, Blaine, and a couple other men in their platoon lie around a bonfire. Most of them sing rowdily, making up their own songs and laughing at nothing in particular. Blaine joins in on a few bars of the songs he knows, but mostly he watches the sky and reads Kurt's letter over and over, the words he can practically memorize by now:
My dear Blaine,
Even writing your name makes me feel a little closer to you. I've been thinking about you a lot, lately. Well, more than usual, anyway, because I always think about you. But I've just been thinking about where you are, and I hope with everything I have that you're safe, because I don't know what I'll do if you're not. I don't know why, but last night I thought about junior prom and when you were so brave, asking me to dance in front of all those ignorant people. All I could think about was how much I loved you for standing up with me, and that's kind of how I feel now. I love you for how brave you are for giving your life to a country that doesn't even fully accept you. Except I wasn't scared when you asked me to dance (I knew those people couldn't hurt us in front of everyone), but now I've never been more scared for you and yet proud at the same time. I'm so scared, and I miss you so much that it's like a constant ache in my stomach, but it's okay. I can handle missing you as long as you're safe. Please, Blaine, promise me you'll come home.
But before I cry, I have to tell you the big news! I can't really create any suspense in a letter, so I'll just tell you. Finn proposed to Rachel on their four year anniversary last week, and now they're engaged! Rachel's going absolutely crazy of course, though I can't really judge her because I know I'll be even worse.. She's running around, trying to plan everything (she refuses to hire a wedding planner) and find a dress. They're getting married in three months, Blaine. Three months! When we get married, baby, I'll need at least a year to get everything ready. But I think they just want to be married already. Finn asked me to be the best man, and Mercedes is the maid of honor. Finn and Rach know you can't be there, but they send their love. They seem really guilty that they aren't waiting for you to get back, but I told them that you would kill them if they waited because of you. It seems so natural that they should get married, we knew they would, but it's still so weird. It seems like yesterday we were all still at glee practice.
I know this letter is kind of turning into a novel, so sorry about that. All I have to do is practice, design, and write to you. I tried out for another play, but they didn't take me, big surprise. Who knew, even in New York, that they won't take me because I'm not traditional? But I don't want to worry you with my problems, I know you have enough of your own. Oh Blaine, please just be safe and make it home soon. I just can't stand thinking about you out there, where I can' t reach you, but I know you said you won't be able to write for a while. I miss you so much, B, and I'm counting down the days until you come home. Only six months and fifteen days to go!
I love you with all my heart, Blaine, and nothing will change that. Don't ever doubt that. Be safe.
"So, who's the lucky girl?" Ryder asks, jarring Blaine from his deep thoughts. The other solider caught the look of pure love and heartache on the shorter man's face, and he's wondering who Blaine adores so much. Despite Blaine being so, so proud to be with Kurt, he still blushes. Ryder flops onto his back next to Blaine, staring up at the stars with him.
"Not a girl," Blaine mumbles. "My boyfriend, Kurt." Blaine knows Ryder is absorbing this information, calculating, but finally the tall brunette smiles a little in Blaine's direction.
"Do you have a photo?" Ryder asks. Blaine's eyes widen a little in surprise. Even his guy friends back in New York don't ask about Kurt too much, but they are supportive and protective of him.
"Uh, yeah," Blaine stutters, because he always keeps a slightly bent, wallet-sized photo of Kurt in the breast pocket of his uniform. He digs it out carefully, smoothing it in his palm before handing it over to Ryder. The picture is a good one—Kurt had been lounging on the couch one day after work, sleepy and droopy eyed, and Blaine had snuck up on him to snap a picture. Kurt, of course, had caught him and turned to him at the last possible second, his eyes wide in surprise and so, so blue. Kurt hated the picture, but Blaine refused to delete it—it was one of his favorite pictures of his boyfriend. He'd carried it around with him ever since.
Ryder smiles slightly as he studies Kurt, finally handing the picture back to Blaine. He looks like he wants to say something that guys always say to each other in this situation, like "He's beautiful" or "You're lucky," but he doesn't because that would be a little weird. Blaine smiles back anyway. Blaine's just about to ask him about his wife to diffuse any discomfort Ryder might be feeling, but Ryder speaks before he can.
"Tell me about him," he says. And Blaine doesn't want to dump all his bottled up feelings for Kurt on this guy he barely knows, but he can't pass up the opportunity. He hasn't spoken Kurt's name aloud in months, besides a minute ago. Ryder did ask, and he seems accepting enough. Blaine clears his throat.
"Kurt, he's…well, he's just perfect. He's a fashion designer now, but what he really wants to do is perform on Broadway. He's been trying out for plays, but he hasn't gotten in yet, because he…he doesn't exactly look like what a lead male is supposed to look like, you know?" Ryder nods sympathetically, his gaze moving from the stars to Blaine's glowing face. "He's the most amazing cook, seriously, if I wasn't here I'd be fat right now. He's really sarcastic and bossy when you first meet him, but on the inside he's, like, the most compassionate and loving person I've ever met. Even though he's still sarcastic and bossy." Blaine's smile is so wide that his cheeks are starting to hurt. "I miss him. Duh. I miss him more than I thought was possible."
"I know how that feels," Ryder whispers. "It's, like, you can't even breathe sometimes you miss them so bad." Blaine nods vigorously, because finally, someone gets it. He props his head up with his elbow.
"What's your wife's name?"
"Abbie," he replies. "We live in Michigan, and we have a little girl named Sable." Blaine smiles warmly. He loves talking to someone about home for a change.
"That's a pretty name, Sable. How old is she?"
"Three," he says. Blaine's breath hitches and his heart aches, but he knows better than to ask why Ryder left them. That's not a question you ask men around here. Blaine doesn't even know the answer to that question. The two men are quiet for a while, watching the stars and half-listening to the howling of their platoon mates.
"Do you…do you ever feel…selfish?" Blaine finally asks in a soft tone. "Not for leaving, I guess, but for asking them to wait for you?" Blaine has to take a breath and swallow the lump in his throat before going on. "I just…he promised that he'll wait, that he wants to wait, and I know he will…but sometimes, I just want to tell him not to. Because it isn't fair. I just told him one day this was something I needed to do, and I couldn't explain why, but he just supported me the whole way. He was upset of course, but…I don't know, he's just…just…amazing. To good for me." Blaine breathes deeply and tries to calm himself. He hasn't talked this much since he arrived here. Ryder is staring at him like they're lost soulmates, or something. He cracks a smile.
"It's like you're in my head right now, man," Ryder says. Blaine grins a little. "I've come so close to telling Abbie to move on, to find someone else…but I never can."
"Because then I'd have nothing," Blaine finishes for him. "Kurt's what gets me through this war…without him, I'd have nothing to fight for. Nothing to live for." Ryder and Blaine close their eyes.
"Do you think we'll get to see them again?" Blaine asks, still able to see the stars behind his closed lids. "The truth." Blaine knows it's stupid, but sometimes he wonders if Kurt can see the same stars he can, even though he knows Kurt can't see stars in New York. Ryder nods without even a thought.
"Yes. We'll make it back. If we were never going to see them again, we'd know it somehow. We'd feel it in our bones."
Blaine doesn't know why, but he's reassured. As long as he can make it back to Kurt, he can get through this. He needs to believe he can survive. If not for himself, than for Kurt.
The waiting is almost unbearable. Kurt's heart is pounding painfully in his throat, his legs are jelly, and his thoughts are a helpless mantra of BlaineBlaineBlaine. Burt and Carole are anxious beside him; Burt is pacing back and forth in front of the security line. Kurt knows his parents are trying to make up for the fact that Blaine's parents aren't present, but there's no room in Kurt's mind to appreciate the sentiment just yet. Kurt's stomach is flip-flopping so hard he's sure he'll throw up. He hasn't had butterflies in so long—not in nine months, ever since Blaine left. Kurt doesn't know how it's possible to feel so excited and so terrified at the same time.
Kurt wonders fleetingly if Blaine will be different. Will he be hard and serious from his months of war? Kurt doesn't know—but he pushes the thought from his mind, because he knows that his Blaine will be in there somewhere, no matter what.
"How much longer?" Finn demands eagerly from beside Kurt. Rachel's clinging to his arm, and she looks nervous, but happy, at the prospect of seeing Blaine again. Kurt's about to answer, when he feels his cell phone vibrating in his left pocket—his alarm.
It's 12:30 pm.
"Now," Kurt whispers. It's actually kind of funny, because every flight Kurt has ever been on, or has been waiting on, has been delayed. He doesn't know what it is about him that makes planes travel slowly, but that's just the way it has always been. So, he doesn't expect anything, really.
It's like the universe is giving him an apology present. The young, fit-looking men in the starch brown uniforms begin to walk towards them, past security. At any other time, Kurt would've watched with adoration as soldiers ran to their wives, children, and parents as they cried and embraced each other. But Kurt can't look at any of them, even just for a second. Kurt's heart is roaring in his ears and he stands on his tiptoes to see over the top of the mass of soldiers, searching for his Blaine's dark, curly head.
The soldiers keep coming, but the numbers are beginning to dwindle, and Kurt's already near tears. Blaine made it back, he had to have made it back, he promised—
Kurt sees him the exact moment Blaine calls out through the airport. Blaine is absolutely beaming, waving wildly with abandon because he doesn't care who sees. He's almost the same—his curly hair is a little bit shorter (since he had to have it cut), his muscles are more defined than before, even through his uniform, and his chin and cheeks are scruffy with stubble—but his smile is exactly how Kurt remembers. Kurt wants to kiss, lick, and bite his dimples until they're red from his mouth.
Kurt can't breathe. He knows he's just staring, unable to move, until Blaine's duffle bag hits the floor with a resounding smack. Then, Kurt's running faster than he's ever run in his life.
He slams into Blaine with a force that should've sent him stumbling backwards, but Blaine only loses his footing for a moment before he's clinging to Kurt just as desperately. Kurt locks his arms around Blaine's neck, and he doesn't realize he's sobbing until he feels the tears soaking Blaine's uniform. Blaine doesn't seem to mind; he presses kisses all over Kurt's hair and face. Blaine lifts Kurt up, with almost no effort, so that Kurt can wrap his legs around Blaine's waist.
"Bl-ai-ne," Kurt gasps out through his tears. "Blaine." Blaine's crying too as he grips Kurt tighter around his hips.
"Kurt," Blaine groans back. "Oh, baby, God, I missed you." Kurt buries his face further into Blaine's scratchy neck, kissing and nuzzling and smelling.
Kurt had promised himself months before that he wasn't going to do this. He was going to keep calm and give Blaine a simple hug. He knew people would stare, that they would give Blaine all kinds of dirty looks, despite what he had sacrificed for them. Blaine already got enough shit from people who were against the war and took it out on him. But, God, he just can't help it. Blaine is home. He's finally home.
"Love you," Kurt breathes out shakily.
"I love you," Blaine whispers reverently. "God, Kurt, I love you." He wants so bad to really kiss Kurt right then, but he knows they can't in front of all these people. The couple is already getting disgusted, angry looks, even from some of Blaine's platoon. But one soldier shoots Blaine a smile and pats him on the back when he walks by.
"See you in two weeks, Anderson." The soldier's gaze travels to Kurt and his gaze is warm, if not a little amused at Kurt's tear-covered face. "Nice to finally see you, Kurt," the stranger says.
"N-Nice to m-meet you," Kurt squeaks in embarrassment. Blaine chuckles fondly.
"See you, Ryder." Ryder smiles again and then walks away, and Kurt leans back a little in Blaine's tight hold to wipe his eyes.
"So…just how much do you talk about me, Private?" Kurt teases, his voice wobbling. Blaine just shakes his head, the heat of the blush Kurt has missed sliding across his cheeks.
"Oh, hush," Blaine chides, but there's so much affection in the phrase that Kurt feels like he might break down again. Kurt whimpers and clings to Blaine's neck again.
"I love you," Kurt says again. Blaine hums and kisses Kurt's slightly ruffled hair. He doesn't think he'll ever get tired of hearing Kurt say that.
"I love you more," Blaine says firmly. Before Kurt can protest, because Blaine know he will, Blaine lugs his bag over one shoulder and makes his way over to Burt, Carole, and the Hudsons, with Kurt's legs still wrapped tightly around him.
Kurt relaxes into his boyfriend even more; he suddenly doesn't care about anyone around them. He's just so, so unbelievably happy.
Blaine finally sets Kurt down, and Kurt reluctantly lets go of his death grip on Blaine's neck so that Blaine can hug his family. Carole and Rachel both hug Blaine tightly, with tears in their eyes, and Carole murmurs a heartfelt "thank you, honey." Burt and Finn hug him next, and the girls have to kiss him, before they finally let him go. Finn claps him on the back with a huge grin on his face.
"Welcome back, man!"
"Thanks, Finn," Blaine says, his eyes watery again and grinning just as hard. God, he had missed them. "Congratulations!" Rachel beams and shows him the beautiful, silver wedding band on her left hand.
Burt looks at Kurt and smiles and at his son's tear-stained face and bright, glassy eyes.
"Are you alright, bud?"
Kurt laughs shakily and wipes the rest of the tears from his face with the heel of his hand. He's twenty-two years old and his dad still calls him bud.
"Yeah." His voice trembles. "Perfect."
Blaine doesn't let go of Kurt's hand the whole way back to their apartment—not that Kurt's complaining. They fold into each other in the backseat, trying to be as close as humanly possible. Blaine knows he can never be too close to Kurt. When they'd finally collapsed into the car, they allow themselves to kiss.
They relish in the fleeting pecks of lips and warm skin until they can get inside. As much as Kurt loves his family, he knows as soon as he really kisses Blaine after so long, he'll let his lips take over and he won't be able to stop. Blaine knows this, too. So they wait as the Hummel's car zooms across the congested highway.
They all talk for a while, but soon Rachel's asleep on Finn's shoulder (and she was doing most of the talking anyway). Carole keeps glancing through the rearview mirror to watch Kurt and Blaine. The two boys—men, now, she corrects herself—look so happy, and they just stare at each other, whispering sweet things in each other's ears, until Blaine's eyes start to droop. He tries to stay awake, he doesn't want to miss any of his time with Kurt, but Kurt kisses him and smiles, telling him to sleep. Blaine passes out against Kurt's chest until Burt pulls up to their apartment. It's finally their apartment again.
"Blaine, baby, wake up." Kurt shakes his boyfriend gently, but Blaine jumps awake like he's been shot, instantly alert. This makes Kurt sad, even though he doesn't say so. Blaine always has to be alert, even in sleep. He's instantly excited when he sees his home, though.
Carole smiles as she watches Blaine's thrilled expression and Kurt's eyes following Blaine's every move. She had planned to take Finn, Rachel, Kurt, and Blaine out to dinner with her and Burt, but now decides that they should go out to dinner tomorrow instead.
"Kurt, honey, we'll see you tomorrow for dinner, okay?" Kurt realizes Carole's letting him and Blaine have the evening to themselves, and beams gratefully at her.
"Okay, thanks Carole. Bye, guys." Kurt and Blaine kiss Carole's cheek and wave at Burt, Finn, and Rachel, who waves sleepily back.
The door slams shut behind Kurt and they are finally alone.
Kurt, even though he's been waiting nine fucking months, lets Blaine walk around the apartment, admiring everything that's the same and noticing the little differences. Blaine is in awe: "Kurt, you painted the kitchen! I love the red!" and "Kurt, I like that bookshelf!" Kurt rolls his eyes and smiles adoringly at his still adorably-dorky Blaine. But his Blaine was so oblivious.
Kurt finally can't take it anymore—he half-lurches, half-stubbles forward and grabs Blaine around the waist. Blaine doesn't seem surprised (maybe he wasn't so oblivious), and Kurt stares into his golden eyes for a moment. Then he's crashing their lips together, bruising, frantic, and so, so good.
Kurt's sucking Blaine's tongue as hard as he can, Blaine's thrusting his hips against Kurt's, and they're both moaning so loud embarrassingly quickly. Kurt's panting and he presses his body flush against Blaine. He almost forgot how dizzy and horny Blaine's body makes him feel.
"Oh, Kurt, God—"
Blaine's tongue and teeth lick and nip at the inside of Kurt's mouth so that he can't speak. Their mouths are pressed so desperately close together, and they don't have the will to pull away and get air, so they take in hasty breaths from the side of their parted lips instead. Kurt starts fucking his tongue inside Blaine's hot mouth, but suddenly he wrenches himself away, half from the need for oxygen and half from guilt.
"I—Blaine—I'm…" God, he can't even breathe. Blaine stares at him, his eyes already blown wide and his moist lips parted in ragged drags of air. He looks so wrecked, just from a kiss, and Kurt has to fight hard to restrain himself from attacking Blaine again. "I'm sorry. Are you okay? I mean…do you want to talk about...about it?"
Blaine gapes at him incredulously for about three seconds before he bursts into laughter.
"Kurt. You think I want to talk about this? Baby, I just want you." Blaine shakes his head. "If you didn't get that the first time. Baby, I want you so bad." Kurt's head falls back in a silent moan at Blaine's words.
"Then take me," Kurt begs. "Please take me, Blaine."
Blaine's on him again, kissing everywhere and biting and sucking at Kurt's neck. He practically drags them into the bedroom, throwing around their discarded clothes that Kurt would've scolded him for if not for the circumstances. Blaine throws Kurt down on the bed, his hazel eyes glinting dangerously with want and need. Kurt thinks he might come just from that sight alone.
If Kurt's honest with himself, this wasn't how he'd imagined Blaine's homecoming. He'd imagined slow, loving sex as they re-memorized each other's bodies and whispered "I love you's," because they can't believe they're finally together again. But then again, they've always been together, really.
But Kurt likes this better. He likes the hard, needy way Blaine handles him, he likes the broken moans, and he likes how they fall apart so quickly because they've both gone without this for so long. "Likes" is an understatement.
He loves afterwards, when they lie facing each other, because they can't stand to look away for even a second. He loves Blaine's sweat-glistening body and his springing, wild curls. He loves Blaine's mostly-asleep droopy eyes, his lips twitching in a drowsy smile, and his now bruising dimples. He loves Blaine.
"I'm never leaving you again," Blaine whispers, his voice husky with sleep and sex. "Never. I promise. I love you so much, Kurt."
"I love you, too."
They both know it's an empty promise. Blaine has to go back. But Kurt loves him so much for letting him pretend. As they slip farther into sleep, with Blaine's fingers stroking Kurt's stomach and Kurt's arm thrown haphazardly over Blaine's hip, Kurt pretends that Blaine doesn't have to leave in two weeks. Blaine's always going to be with him, Blaine's staying, and they have all the time in the world.
Kurt loves how they fall asleep with their lips still pressed together.
So what do you think? There will be more chapters, all focusing on Blaine's homecomings. :) Please review and tell me what you think, and if I should continue this! Thanks for reading!