Something I Said

I'm so confused

I must be losing it

This can't be right

I didn't know that you could choose to love someone

Then change your mind

So I just wonder why?

And was it something I said?

He was so confused.

Sam had just broken up with him a few moments ago over the phone after a normal conversation. Just BAM. Out of the blue. Threw a fit and shouted a "we're through" and hung up. He was shell-shocked after the ordeal, keeping the phone to his ear and his mouth gaping open, wondering what just triggered his girlfriend into breaking up with him. Did he say something out of line?

He looked back to the conversation they had, trying to recollect if he said something that could've set her off right before she broke up with him. He remembered telling her everything in the beginning, like they always did. Telling her all his secrets, all his problems, everything. They always told each other everything. So he did. So did he not tell her enough? Was that it?

You tell me once

You tell me twice

You tell me three times more

Tell me everything I want to hear and nothing more

'Cause you know I am on your side no matter what you do

He tried to recollect the last tidbits of their conversation.

"So listen… I'm going to Kansas for like two weeks."

"What? Why?"

"The G.E.E.K. camp invited me to a really cool convention there."

"The G.E.E.K. camp? Gee, Freddie, you have really good taste in camps. But when are you leaving?"

"Haha. Very funny. It stands for Gifted Electronic Engineers of Kansas. I'm really excited! I'm leaving tomorrow night. That camp is legendary. They've got the most updated technology and the best electronic engineers in the nation! It's really awesome."

"Oh, okay. Just go to your freaking camp in the middle of the country and leave me here."

"What? No… Sam, that's not what I mean. Trust me; I'd love to bring you with me. But they're not allowing guests with me."

"No, Freddie. You can just go to your stupid camp and leave me here. If I'm just that valuable to you."

"Sam, what the heck are you talking about? I never said tha—!"

"No, Freddie! Just leave! We're through!"

"Sam, what do you mean we're throu—? Sam? Sam!"

Right before she hung up, he swore he heard a sniffle on the other end.

Even as he recalled the conversation, he was still very confused. Did she really think that he thought of her as invaluable? She twisted his words! He never said anything close to that! What set her off? Just because he was going to the camp made her think she was invaluable to him? What the hell!

Ugh, girls really confuse me sometimes, he thought.

After she hung up, he called her and texted her until his phone warned him he couldn't send any more texts or else he'd overload his 'Sent' messages box. A look of complete concern washed over his facial features and he worried even more with each passing moment. He then started calling her every few minutes and left a voicemail every time she didn't pick up.

Sam?... Baby? What's wrong? Did I say something? Please call me back. I'm worried about you. We're not breaking up. I'm not going to Kansas and leaving you behind for two weeks just because you don't mean a lot to me. 'Cause you do. You mean the world to me. I love you. Call me back soon.

He left voicemail after voicemail until he got tired of sending them and saying "I love you" over and over in them without knowing if she was actually hearing it. He needed to fix this, and he needed to fix this fast. He grabbed his car keys and fled out the door, grabbing a wrapped gift on the way out.

He sped to her house, the only place he thought reasonable for Sam to be. But when he got there, he ended up getting disappointed. He checked the Groovy Smoothie. More disappointment there. He checked Carly's apartment. More there. He checked Ridgeway. He checked the park. He checked the Bushwell lobby. He checked everywhere he thought logical for her to be in. He couldn't find her.

With every consequence, it's your defense on why it's mine

And I could take it if I knew just why I waste my time with you

So I just have to find out

Was it something I said to you?

The sun was setting now, and desperation started to kick in. He was exhausted. He finally gave up, and he let out a sigh, going up the elevator to his apartment. He was thankful that his mom was working a late shift at the hospital, or she would've been yelling at him asking him where he's been. Once he got into the apartment, he found he couldn't breathe, the hot air in it stifling. He needed fresh air, so he walked to the back of the apartment to the only place he knew where to vent and just think about things.

Was it something we can't work through?

Was it something I made you do?

Or was it something you?

He opened the windows and was surprised to see a certain dirty-blonde leaning over the railing, looking down at the traffic below. He grinned widely as a thought came to his mind. He opened the doors silently and crept towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

"There you are. Where have you been?" he whispered, his breath hot against her ear, sending shivers down her spine. But she pushed away from his grasp, walking to the right side of the fire escape.

"Sam, why did you break up with me?" he asked her, concern washing over his face as he studied hers, trying to find the answers and walking towards her. "Do you really think you mean as little as that to me? I'm not going to Kansas just because I think you're not worth a lot to me. 'Cause you are. What's up with you?"

"No, Freddie, you're lying. You're just leaving to get away from me. If you're so tired of me, why won't you say so, huh?"

So let me ask you

I just have to know that you're not mine

Do you feel free? Have what you need?

Or do you still feel scared inside?

'Cause I am on the line and don't know what to do

No, you know I am on the line so

Was it something I said to you?

"Sam, STOP!" he yelled at her, startling her and making her shy away from him even more. He softened his voice as he realized he scared her.

"Sam, what the hell are you talking about? I'm standing right here, telling you I love you and that you mean the world to me, and yet, you're accusing me of not wanting to be with you! You're twisting my words! For the last time, I'm not leaving just to get away from you!" he exasperated, frustrated she wouldn't get it past her stubborn skull.

"No…" she said softly. "What I said is true. If I was so valuable to you, you'd take me with you in a heartbeat. Just leave, okay? Leave like everyone else in my life! Leave just like—!"

He took three huge steps towards her and captured her lips with his just like he did at Troubled Waters. This was the only way he knew to shut her up.

He pulled away after a few seconds and looked at her firmly. He put his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look in his eyes.

"Look… you listen to me. I love you with every ounce of my being. If I could come up with a word to express it even better, I would. Now, I don't understand what's wrong with you. Why you're having doubts and whatever else is going on in that confusing little head of yours," he said.

She looked up at him, tears brimming her eyes as she bit her bottom lip with apprehension.

Was it something we can't work through?

Was it something I made you do?

Or was it something you?

"But just know this: I'm not going to the middle of the country just because I want to get away from you, or leave you behind, or to hurt you. I don't understand why you'd think I'd ever be that much of a jerk in the first place! You know me, Sam. Don't you?" he asked her. She looked away, continuing to bite her lip, feeling a lump rising in her throat. He took her chin between his forefinger and thumb and turned her face towards him. "Don't you?"

She nodded weakly and whimpered, losing the battle against the tears burning beneath her eyelids and the lump rising in her throat, threatening to choke her. With that, he pressed his lips gently on hers, a tear falling onto her cheek and rolling down slowly. Ugh, she hated seeming so vulnerable like this. After a few seconds, he pulled away, and his gaze turned into panic when he saw tears on her cheeks.

"Sam, why are you crying?" he asked, swiping them away as more and more were produced. "Sam, baby, stop. Stop it. Why are you crying? Tell me," he said firmly, wanting to know what was going on.

"Don't ever leave me," she whimpered, sobbing now and pressing her face into his shoulder, not caring about how vulnerable she looked anymore.

He was shocked. His mouth was gaping open as his arms were wrapped around her tightly, his right arm wrapped around her head while his left arm was wrapped tightly around her back, holding her close to his chest. Was that why she was acting like this? 'Cause she thought he was going to leave her?

Sometimes I'm bold and brash; and sometimes I'm prone to crash

Sometimes I say too much; and sometimes it's not enough

"Samantha…" he breathed, his voice rumbling against her body, making her cry even more, not even aware that he had just called her by her full name. "Sam, look at me…" he coaxed. "Look at me. Why do you think I'm going to leave you? I don't understand why you'd think I'd ever be capable of that."

"'Cause I feel like you're leaving me… just like everyone else did. Just leaving me behind. Just like everyone else in my life did," she sobbed. "Why are you even going to Kansas? I don't want you to go. You're leaving me."

But I'll never hold you back

From something you want so bad

Just tell me so I'm not sad

Was it something I said?

"Sam. Sam, you're not thinking straight. I'm going to Kansas for me. For a great opportunity for me. Not to leave you behind. In fact, I'm gonna' hate leaving you behind. And why didn't you tell me you felt like that in the first place? You had me worried sick when I was looking all over the place for you!" he laughed, still swiping at the tears streaming down her face. "Will you stop crying!" he scolded her gently and placing a kiss on her forehead. "There's no need for that. I love you. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

An idea came to his mind and he smiled as it did.

"In fact…" he started. "Wait right here."

She watched him get up and walk into the apartment, coming out with something that looked like an envelope. He sat down in front of her and leaned against the cold concrete of the fire escape, motioning her to sit down next to him and patting the floor next to him. She sat down slowly, the last of her tears still brimming her eyes.

"C'mere…" he motioned her towards him. "This is my plane ticket for Kansas that the G.E.E.K. guys sent me. Let's tear it together. It clearly worried you once when I went to that N.E.R.D. camp, and I'm not letting it happen again. Here."

He pulled out the slip of paper, and he put it in between them and let her take hold. He held it tightly as she pulled the other half down, making a tear down the middle that honestly made him wince and fight back tears. He let out a breath he'd been holding as he watched another amazing opportunity go to waste.

"There," he said, looking at her. "Now you don't need to worry about me leaving. Ever."

Was it something we can't work through?

Was it something I made you do?

Or was that something you?

He got up and offered his hand. She took it, her skin searing at Freddie's touch. He pulled her up, and he grabbed the other half from her hand. As he felt the wind pick up, he looked at her, giving her a crooked smile. He held it up to the wind, and with the most self-control he could muster, he released his fingers on it, and he watched the slips of paper fly away, an opportunity he wasn't likely to see again going to waste. But it was worth it.

"Gee, Sam, you really like sabotaging a lot of the great opportunities that come my way, huh?" he joked, stuffing his hands into his pockets and glancing at her. But she looked a little hurt by it, and she looked away, now feeling bad that she sabotaged another one of his. He softened his gaze at the look of hurt on her face. "Hey," he said gently, making her look up at him, "I was joking. C'mere…" He wrapped his arms around her as she stepped towards him, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you… And I'm sorry I sabotaged another one of your camp things," she said sadly.

"It's okay," he reassured her. "If it doesn't make you worry, it's worth it. I'd rather give up my awesome new PearPhone 4S than make you feel like you're alone."

"Yeah, right," she teased him, looking up at him, a smile forming on her lips for the first time that night. She pressed her ear back against his chest, the lulling sound of his rhythmic heartbeat relaxing her, making the smile on her lips grow even more.

"Well… yeah, you're probably right. It's pretty dang awesome," he laughed, the sound it made against her ear as it was pressed against his chest comforting her, making her feel safe. "Oh, I forgot…" he trailed off, pulling out a wrapped gift from his pocket. "Here…"

He held it in front of her, the shiny purple wrapping almost glittering against the faint light of the sky. She smiled. She was going to ask what it was, but he beat her to it.

"I was gonna' give it to you on our six months," he said, "but I figured I'd give it a little early… I mean, seeing that you threw a fit just because I was leaving for two weeks. You must be madly in love with me," he winked, giving her a toothy grin. "But don't worry. I hear that he's madly in love with you back all the time," he stated, still grinning that same bright grin.

"Oh, really?" she played along. "That's cute. But I heard she freaked out on him 'cause he was gonna' leave for Kansas for two weeks straight."

"Yeah, but the best part is… he didn't," he smiled, leaning forward and giving her a chaste kiss.

"Open it," he motioned towards the gift in her hands. She looked up at him and smiled appreciatively, carefully peeling the pretty purple paper back and soon regretting it. She couldn't stand the fact that she was ripping it apart, seeing how pretty it seemed to be, glittering softly in the gentle light of the moon and the stars scattered around it. It was a fairly large jewelry box, and she opened it, her breath hitching at what she found in it.

It was a silver necklace with a glistening heart pendant, but she noticed a part of it was missing. She was momentarily confused, but before she could ask about it, he picked it up gently and showed it to her. He flipped it over, and there was inscribed a seven-word phrase with three dots following it, indicating it needed another part to complete it. Before she could wonder why he bought her a "damaged" and "incomplete" necklace, he pulled one out from under his own shirt, one with a key pendant. And as she stared down at it, realization coming over her, she couldn't believe how perfect this gift was to her.

He picked it up gently and placed it around her neck. She looked into his eyes and smiled, tears brimming her eyes again. But they weren't of worry or of apprehension or of fear. They were of complete happiness. Satisfaction. Satisfaction of the amazing knowledge that she had someone like him. She realized right then and there how much he'd sacrificed for her. How much of his life he devoted to her just to make her happy. So when he completed clasping the necklace together, she moved towards him quickly and pressed her lips to his, desperately wanting to show him how much she really loved him without words.

They really weren't enough.

When she pulled away and looked at him lovingly, he took her necklace in his hands and brought it to his, fitting the key into the heart pendant easily. He flipped it over, and as she read the completed fifteen-word statement inscribed when they were fitted together, she broke.

She couldn't keep her composure at how perfect the statement was. At how damn perfect he was. A warm tear made its way from her eye down to the joined pendants, blurring the statement inscribed there. As he realized it was another tear from her eye and looked up at her, she stopped him from being panicked when she forced her lips upon his in a searing kiss, this time not stopping, but deepening it with every minute.

And when she found him leading her to his bedroom, she didn't find herself doubting what was to come. When they were stripping themselves of their articles of clothing, she didn't need to think twice. When he crawled over her and kissed her soundly, his bare skin pressed against hers, setting it on fire, she found herself giving in to the moment. When he was moving above her and grunting softly in her ear and joining him with wordless gasps as he moved gently against her, she felt closer to him than anyone else in her entire life. And when they were finished, her body wrapped up in his arms snugly with her back pressed up against his chest, breathing in tandem with each other, she knew that there was absolutely no one out there that could make her feel the way he did. And when he whispered those three words in her ear smoothly, effortlessly, she could feel the rest of the world fading away as a sound sleep started to engulf her, the last thought in her mind right before she passed out what was etched on the necklaces they wore:

It's so easy to fall in love… when you've got someone there to catch you.