Every Autobot down in Iaacon liked Christmas a lot
But Megatron who lived just North in Kaon did not!

Megatron hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be, perhaps, that his fuses were too tight.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.

But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his spark was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his spark or his fuse,
He stood there on Christmas Eve hating the muse.

Staring down from his lair with a sour, Meggy frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.

For he knew every bot down in Iaacon beneath,
Was busy now hanging a Primus wreath.

"And they're hanging their stockings," he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"

Then he growled, with his Megatron fingers nervously drumming,
"I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming!

For, tomorrow, I know all the Bot girls and boys,
Will wake bright and early. They'll rush for their toys!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
There's one thing I hate! All the NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the Bots, young and old, will sit down to a feast.
And they'll feast! And they'll feast! And they'll FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

They'll feast on Bot pudding, and rare Bot energon beast,
Raw energon beast is a feast I can't stand in the least!

And then they'll do something I hate most of all!
Every Bot down in Iaacon, the tall and the small,

They'll stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'll stand hand-in-hand, and those Bots will start singing!"

"And they'll sing! And they'll sing! And they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!"
And the more Megatron thought of this Bot Christmas sing,
The more Megatron thought, "I must stop this whole thing!

Why for fifty-three cycles I've put up with it now!
I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
Megatron got a wonderful, awful idea!

"I know just what to do!" Megatron laughed in his throat.
"I'll make a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat."

And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Meggy trick!
With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"

"All I need is a reindeer." Then Megatron looked around.
But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.

Did that stop Megatron? Hah! Megatron simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

So he took Ravage, and he took some black thread.
And he tied a big horn on top of his head.

Then he loaded some bags and some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle sleigh and he whistled for Ravage.

Then Megatron said "Giddyap!" and the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the Bots lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. No one knew he was there.
All the Bots were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first little house of the square.

"This is stop number one," the old Meggy Claus hissed,
As he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could a snitch.

He got stuck only once, for a minute or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue

Where the little Autobot stockings hung all in a row.
"These stockings," he snarled, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!

Pop guns, pampoogas, pantookas, and drums!
Checkerboards, bizilbigs, popcorn, and plums!

And he stuffed them in bags. Then Megatron, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney.

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Bots' feast!
He took the Bot pudding! He took the energon beast!

He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, Megatron even took the last can of Bot hash!

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"Now," grinned Megatron, "I will stuff up the tree!"

As Megatron took the tree, as he started to shove,
He heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

He turned around fast, and he saw a small Bot!
Little Arcee-Lou Who, who was no more than two.

She stared at Megatron and said, "Santy Claus, why,
Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?"

But, you know, that old Megatron was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

"Why, my sweet little bot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.

So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the sparkling. Then he patted her head,
And he got her a drink, and he sent her to bed.

And when Arcee-Lou Who was in bed with her cup,
He crupt to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.
And the last thing he took was the log for their fire.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.

And the one speck of food that he left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a petro-mouse.

Then he did the same thing to the other Bots' houses,
Leaving crumbs much too small for the other Bots' mouses!

It was quarter of dawn. All the Bots still a-bed,
All the Bots still a-snooze, when he packed up his sled,

Packed it up with their presents, their ribbons, their wrappings,
Their snoof and their fuzzles, their tringlers and trappings!

Ten thousand feet up, up the side of Mount Deceptipit,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!

"Pooh-pooh to the Bots!" he was deceptively humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!

They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
Then the Bots down in Iaacon will all cry boo-hoo!

That's a noise," grinned Megatron, "that I simply must hear!"
He paused, and Megatron put a hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low, then it started to grow.

Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome Christmas! Come this way
Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day

Welcome, welcome, fahoo ramus
Welcome, welcome, dahoo damus
Christmas Day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp

But this sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded glad!

Every Bot down in Iaacon, the tall and the small,
Was singing without any presents at all!

He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming! It came!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And Megatron, with his steel feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling. "How could it be so?

It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes, or bags!"

He puzzled and puzzed till his processor was sore.
Then Megatron thought of something he hadn't before.

Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!

And what happened then? Well, in Iaacon they say
That Megatrons small spark grew three sizes that day!

And then the true meaning of Christmas came through,
And Megatron found the strength of ten Decepticons, plus two!

And now that his spark didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light

With a smile to his soul, he descended Mount Deceptipit
Cheerily blowing "Autobots! Autobots!" on his trumpet.

He road into Iaacon. He brought back their toys.
He brought back their floof to the Bot girls and boys.

He brought back their snoof and their tringlers and fuzzles,
Brought back their pantookas, their dafflers and wuzzles.

He brought everything back, all the food for the feast!
And he, he himself, Megatron carved the energon beast!

Welcome Christmas. Bring your cheer,
Cheer to all Bots, far and near.

Christmas Day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to grasp.

Christmas Day will always be
Just as long as we have we.

Welcome Christmas while we stand
Heart to heart and hand in hand.