I sat in front of my husktop, in the far reaches of the lab, cloaked in darkness
Finishing up my confession to John, I sit cross-legged, hands folded in my lap, wings fluttering slowly
Why did I say those things? I've never told anyone how I really feel.
Not Kanaya, not Terezi, not Tavros
Certainly not Eridan.
It's just… Tavros… his face when I killed him.
Too little, too late. He'd finally become what I wanted him to be, a hero.
Imagine that! The wimpy Page of Breath, playing hero when the time to do so had long past!
Trying to kill me, Me! No amount of prompting, of kissing, of manipulating, could make him into what I wanted.
Now that I think about it, he was pretty brave. He had no chance of defeating me. I mean, I'm God Tier for crying out loud! He knew he had no chance. Yet he still tried.
I should feel nothing. He's just a lowly brown-blooded troll.
Yet he was a friend.
The look on his face when I killed him out of rage.
What was it? Betrayal? Fear? Contentment? Anger?
I'm not sure, only that it didn't feel good.
Now he's gone. No redoes here.
I don't think I've ever felt like this before.
What are these rolling down my face. It feels wet.
Tears? I've never seen my own tears before.
Blue. Just like my blood.
I'm not even sure why I'm writing this. For the future? Bah! There's no future for us.
We're doomed, doomed, doooooooomed!
I wonder if I'll even get to see John in person. I hope so.
Someone's coming. If someone reads this later on, I hope they can understand what I really wanted, rather than what I did.
I waved goodbye. Terezi won't stab me. My luck is just that goo-
I look down. Is that… blood?
I turn around, "…Ter…ezi…" I gasp in pain.
She just stares sadly at me, with those blind eyes.
I fall to my knees. This burning in my chest is almost unbearable.
If I die, will I come back? For my death might be considered just.
I don't want to die! Not like this!
I hate sucker-stabs.
I collapse to my knees, and fall face-down.
I push myself up slightly, the pain is slowly fading now. Is that a good thing?
I turn to look at my husktop, and reach out to it.
"..J…ohn.." I manage to whisper. I can see the corners of my vision fading.
Is this is? No chance to redeem myself? No chance to fight Jack? No chance to save everyone?
No chance to meet John, and tell him how I really feel?
My arms fail me, and I fall one last time, my head turned to the side.
I can feel the blood slowly soaking my outfit, the pool slowly growing larger.
As my vision fails me, I feel something wet rolling down my face.
Tears again? It's a good thing I cried earlier, or else I'd be wondering what th-