Don't Want To Win, Can't Afford To Lose

Genre: Twilight

Pairing: Bella/Alice

Rated M

The Italicized song lyrics are from Halestorm's Familiar Taste of Poison which I highly suggest you listen to because it perfectly conveys how i felt when I wrote this.

AN: This is my first Twilight fic (or any fic really). Also I never read the books so pretty much going off movies and other fics, not that their is much plot to this one. I'm thinking of making it a series but it might stay a one-shot we'll see. This is a girl on girl lemon so if it's not your thing, see ya! Reviews always welcome.

Drink the wine my darling, you said. Take your time and consume all of it.

I know it should feel wrong, but nothing ever felt more right in my whole undead life. She lowered herself onto my body, hot flushed skin meeting cool marble. Our lips met, just the gentlest of brushes before her lips were moving down my chin, around my jaw, down my neck. Her hands ran up my sides, brushing lightly over the outside of my breasts. A soft sigh escaped out into the quiet forest clearing, taking a moment for me to realize it was me.

But the roses were only to drain my inspiration. The promises were spoiled before they left your lips and…

Rolling over to be on top, I look down into her eyes. Just for a moment I allow myself to be swallowed into their depths, like drowning in a starry night sky. I run my eyes over her naked moonlit body, memorizing every beautiful detail. I feel whole, complete. Like I've come home. She's so warm, it's like curling up to a fire. I run my fingertips ever so lightly up her stomach, watching as the muscles dance and twitch. A small giggle escapes her lips, followed by a soft moan as my fingers teasingly brush over a stiff nipple.

I breathe you in again just to feel you underneath my skin. Holding onto the sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison.

I lower my lips to hers once again, running my tongue slowly over her bottom lip. As our tongues dance together, I bring my left hand up to knead her perfect breast in my hand gently. Her hips come up slightly, searching for some kind of friction instinctively. I slide my body lower down her body, sucking a nipple firmly, but gently into my mouth as I gently twist the other between my fingers. I'm rewarded with a moan as she arches her back.

I tell myself that you're no good for me. I wish you well but desire never leaves.

I rake my nails up her stomach as I kiss my way down it, stopping to dip my tongue into her belly button.

"Are you sure you want to do this? There is no going back."

She props herself up on her elbow and looks down at me, my naked body covering hers. She reaches out to cup my cheek and I can see all the love in the world in her eyes.

"I've never wanted anything more in my whole life."

I could fight this till the end, but maybe I don't wanna win.

A wave of happiness, followed by an intense wave of sadness comes over me and I look away from her. She sits the rest of the way up forcing me up onto my knees. A tear escapes one of her eyes before she grabs my face with both hands and brings our lips crashing together. No more is it soft and gentle. It is passion and need. We battle for dominance a moment before I push her back to the ground, our lips never losing each other. I brace myself up on my left hand, my right moving down her body.

I breathe you in again just to feel you underneath my skin. Holding onto the sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison.

I softly run my fingertips over her most sensitive area. Her hips buck violently up into my hand and our lips finally part. I slowly circle her nub, watching her face as she pants and moans, squirming beneath my body. I give her one last smile as I slide back down to settle my head between her legs. I breathe in deeply, implanting every sensation into my memory, the smell of her, the sight of her open before me. I run my tongue over her, taking in the taste of her for the first time and it's almost as if time stops.

"Please Alice…" I love the way she pants out my name. My mind is spinning, my body aching for her. A shiver runs down my spine.

I don't wanna be saved, I don't wanna be sober, I want you on my mind.

"I love you, Bella." Before she can respond I start to flick my tongue over her clit, causing her to cry out. Her hips start to roll with the rhythm I've started. Gently, I slide two fingers up into her warmth. She is so wet. I can feel her walls clenching, as if trying to pull all of me into her. I curl my fingers within her, searching out that most special spot.

In my dreams behind these eyes and I wanna wake up, no not this time.

"Oh…Alice! So close." And I know it's the truth. Her hips buck, forcing me into a faster rhythm as my fingers slide in and out, each bump to her G-spot bringing her that much closer to climax. I feel a lump in my throat and, for the first time, am grateful that vampires can't cry. I add pressure to her clit with my tongue and feel her walls quiver, knowing she's about to come crashing over the edge. I turn my head and place a light kiss to her thigh before biting down into it, filling her with my venom.

I breathe you in again just to feel you underneath my skin.

Ecstasy burns through me as I take her precious life into myself. For a second I forget my love and feel nothing but the lust for blood. It bursts through me and I climax, taking her with me. The moans she makes snap me back into myself and I stop drinking from her, never feeling like more of a monster in my long existence. I withdraw my fingers slowly from within her dripping folds and move up to hold her as she comes back to herself.

"I love you too Alice."

I bury my face in her hair and breathe her scent in as deeply as possible, sobs choked in my throat and eyes burning with tears that can never be shed.

Holding on to the sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison.

I hold her as her heart starts to slow, already mourning the sound of it. I cling to her warmth in these last fleeting moments. She turns to me and kisses my lips chastely and looks in my eyes. They are not filled with tears or sadness but instead filled with love.

"I'm not afraid." She smiles and leans in to kiss me again when her back arches in pain and she's racked with the first ravages of the transformation.

I snap back to myself and realize that Carlisle is talking.

"So it's decided, we're moving back to Forks." Edward catches my eye and whispers to me conspiratorially "Who's Bella?"

I don't know, but I guess we're going to find out.

To Be Continued!