Hello! This is my first ever Red Dwarf fic, so I hope you all like it!

This is set in the early seasons, with a little fluff, and Rimmer just being Rimmer!


Arnold Rimmer opened his eyes at the sound of the fourth hacking cough. Rubbing his face with the back of one hand, he slowly sat up and edged to the side of his bed, his feet slapping on the cold floor.

He listened silently in the darkness for a few moments, before a loud, fierce sneeze erupted from above him. He grimaced and rolled his eyes as he stood up, calling 'Lights!' as he stretched.

The bright lights of the room near blinded him as he yawned, but once he was accustomed to the harsh glare he walked the few paces back to Lister's bunk. His younger bunk mate was shivering in his blankets, yet sweat was pouring off his face.

'Lister...' he called, gently prodding the shaking man to wake him from his stupor. He sighed irritably when Lister moaned but didn't stir.

'Lister!' Rimmer said, louder this time. Still no effect. He groaned with frustration and glared at the King of Slobs as he turned slightly around, his teeth chattering.

'Wake up you phlegmy gimp!' he yelled, pushing Lister's shoulder so hard his face lolled harshly to one side.

This did wake him up-Lister jumped like he had been electrocuted, and sprung to the back wall with a yell of surprise. Rimmer stared at the quaking, sweating man for a few seconds, before clearing his throat. 'You alright?' he asked mildly, before crossing to sit on a chair.

Lister cocked and eyebrow before settling back into his bed, pulling the damp covers back on his body. 'Peachy Rimmer.' He muttered as a shudder rocked his body. 'Just peachy.'

'Good Listy-that's what I like to hear-although you coughing is keeping me awake, so could you turn it down a bit?' Rimmer replied, before diving back into his bed with a contended sigh.

'I'll try and keep it down then...' Lister muttered, voice cracking with dryness. He rolled his eyes as he settled back into his bed.

Seconds later a sneeze caused him to roll back onto his back, and he groaned as he rubbed his face down with one hand, before he put his pillow up over his face to stop the sniffles.

Of course, Rimmer didn't see any of this; once he had called 'Lights,' again he was too busy puffing up his pillow and relaxing into bed to notice the pained moans and groans coming from above him.

'Now, Ingrid my lovely...where were we?' he muttered, a contended smile returning to his face.

Half an hour later, Rimmer was once again brought into the land of consciousness by a faint but incessant high pitched whistling noise. The hologram frowned into the darkness and lay still, listening.

He was sure the noise was coming from above him, so he once again got out of bed and stood at head level to Lister's bunk. The noise was definitely coming from him; it was the sound of air coming out of Lister's blocked nostrils.

Rimmer's face melted in complete disgust, and he shook his head as he moved away-God that sound was annoying. He chanced a look at the luminous clock face on the sleeping quarter's side- 2.39am.

He groaned when he realised he had to be up in six hours. Suddenly, a volley of sneezes and hacking coughs sounded from behind him, and he turned to see Lister shivering violently in his bed.

It didn't sound like he was going to get any sleep tonight-or could he?

'Oh Scutters!' he muttered as he walked out the door, leaving a quaking Lister in the room.

Lister awoke after a particularly painful sneeze nearly made his nose explode. He pawed at his dry throat and grimaced as he sat up in his bed. 'Lights!' he croaked, wincing as the bright lights burst into his vision.

He awkwardly got down off his bed, his weak legs barely able to support him as he flumped on to the edge of Rimmer's bed- he didn't want to wake the Hologram; he knew he'd be unbearable without his regulation eight hours sleep. He needn't have bothered, though- Rimmer wasn't in bed.

'Rimmer?' he called, his voice stretching and cracking. When his bunk mate didn't reply he stood and looked out the door.

'Oi, Smeghead-where are you?' he called, raising his voice as much as he could. When the Hologram didn't answer, he frowned and walked back into the room, dropping down onto one of the chairs around the table.

After a few minutes he heard whistling, and, seconds later, Rimmer appeared with a Scutter that was carrying a large tray.

'Rimmer what are you doing?' Lister asked, taking the tray off the Scutter with aching arms and setting it on the table-on the try lay a hot water bottle, a steaming mug of tea, and three brand new music magazines.

He smiled as he heard Rimmer moving back into bed behind him. 'You didn't have to do this man, I'm fine.' He said, before letting out another sneeze, a moan escaping his lips.

'I know, but I guessed I'd have to find some of way of keeping you occupied. Rimmer replied, eyes already closed for some much overdue sleep.

'I'm not four years old...' Lister objected, before taking a small sip of the hot tea and relaxing into the chair.

'Well, I just couldn't bear the sound of you coughing and sneezing any more-it was making me all agitated.' Rimmer muttered.

Lister frowned before turning and smiling incredulously at the older man. 'You what? Really, Rimmer?' he asked. Rimmer had never been this kind or thoughtful before.

'Oh yes-I have an Esperanto lesson in five hours, and I was so worried I would miss it-this was the only way I could think of to shut you up long enough to get some more sleep!' Rimmer explained, before turning and facing the wall.

'Oh.' Lister said, slightly deflated. He knew it was too good to be true. 'Yeah, wouldn't want you to miss your lesson...' he added, before turning back to the tray with a roll of his eyes.

He took another gulp of his tea- no matter how much of a bonehead that Hologram was, he still made great tea.

He was just taking another big slurp and turning a page of his magazine when he heard an almighty sneeze coming from behind him. He put the mug down and turned around to frown at Rimmer. He could see the man shivering in his covers, little sniffles coming from under the blankets.

This was going to be a long night.

So, what do you think? I really hope you liked it!

Please review, I would love to know what you think!