Title: The Radio Interviews: Superman
Date: May 2002
Disclaimer: I don't own Clark or Lex they belong to DC comics, the WB etc. Which is a crying shame, the things I could do with Lex or Clark for that matter. Have you seen Clark of late? Tight white t-shirt, tight jeans (which he's filling out very nicely), brown work gloves, and a big stick.
Summary: It's all in the title.
Authors' notes: Thanks very much to Cat for the great beta. She did suggest I do a series. Which, I might do if I get enough feedback. The song 'Dreamer' by Gina Nemo. Oh yeah, this is a future fic. I live in a land called De-Nile: the sky is clear, the birds are singing, and the Clex are gay, gay, gay!
Lex padded noiselessly over the luxuriously carpeted floor and climbed into the magnificent king-sized bed. As he pressed a button on the panel by the bed, a masculine voice resounded around the room.
"This is Ryan Adams. Tonight we've got a bit of treat for you. I'll let Jane introduce him. She's really excited…heck I'm really excited! Janie?"
"I can't believe this. I'm sitting right next to the most gorgeous man," said an extremely excited feminine voice.
"Thank you very much, Janie!"
"Huh? What? No, not you!" Janie said disgustedly "I am talking about the one, the only, super sexy Superman."
"Hi." Said a deep masculine voice that could only belong to one person.
"God. Even his voice is sexy. He just exudes sexual magnetism. He's like a magnet drawing me in. Also, he manages to look very masculine in primary colours. Of course the skintight spandex helps. As does the fact he's got a Super body." Gushed Janie
"Someone get Janie a bucket. If she gushes over our guest any more, we'll be doing the show from a mini sub! So, Superman as we won't get any sense from Janie. You must be used to the effect that you have on women."
"Well, actually no. I only started to get loads of attention from women when I started wearing the suit."
"Skin-tight spandex will do that for you." Said Adams dryly.
"Honestly, when I was in high school none of the girls really noticed that I existed. As a guy that they could date."
"What? Were they myopic?" came a shocked feminine voice.
"Well, I wasn't really obvious. I didn't play any sports or belong to any clubs. I wasn't in the popular crowd."
"Why didn't you play sports? I would have thought with your powers…" queried Ryan
"That's the reason. My dad was afraid that I might hurt someone in the heat of the game. I wasn't really into sports anyway. I just wanted to fit in and be normal. And there was this cheerleader…"
"So how did that work out?" interrupted Janie casually.
"It never really got off the ground. It was just unrequited teenage love."
"Ooh that must have been painful. So are you seeing anyone?"
"Damn." Muttered Janie " So. Do they have any allergies?"
"Do they have any…"
"Allergies?" asked Superman in a confused voice.
"Yes. Never mind." Replied Janie abruptly "Moving on. You're here because of the Metropolis Institute."
"Yes. They are holding the annual auction. This year the all monies raised will go to the third world and local homeless charities."
"And you're one of the lots. So what's your reserve price?"
"Like you can afford it" chuckled Ryan.
"Can it, Adams. I am asking the question not for myself but for the public.
"Yeah." Ryan snickered. "You are truly altruistic. So, the reserve price?"
"It's the price that they got for last years."
"Oh, I remember that. That was that Hollywood Hottie. Michael something or other."
"Woo wee, he really made a big impression didn't he. Michael something or other!"
"Look Adams, I know what show he was in 'Miniature Municipality'. I wasn't really interested in him as a person…"
"No, just his body."
"Adams!" said Janie sounding annoyed.
"Janie!" mimicked Ryan
"So, if I recall he made about fifty thousand dollars."
"As I said you can't afford him."
"Well, if I moved that…sold off that…and re-mortgaged my condo…"
"I wouldn't want you to re-mortgage your condo"
"Yeah I'd feel pretty bad. I'll give you my email we can work something out!"
"So when and how did you meet your significant other? Asked Ryan"
"You can leave your hand on my knee. I don't mind." Said Superman and a defiantly feminine squeal can be heard "Let me see I was still a freshman in High School. And my significant other tried to kill me!"
"They tried to kill you?"
"Yeah, they lost control of their car and crashed into me. I saved their life. We became friends and the rest as they say is history."
"Ah, that's really sweet. And how long have you been together if you don't mind me asking?"
"No I don't mind at all. We've been together as a couple twenty years next June.
Gosh, you must be way older than you look."
"Thank you. You're forgetting that I've been here in Metropolis for sixteen years."
"Blimey. That's a long time. So you would have come to Metropolis in 2008."
"Yeah. I was actually quite apprehensive about it. "
"You get apprehensive?" asks Ryan surprised.
"Yeah, just because I have all these super powers doesn't make me immune for normal human emotions."
"That makes me feel a whole lot better. We'll be back after these messages."
"So you're going to auctioned off by the Metropolis Institute. You're the last lot of the night. Reserve price fifty thousand dollars. Do you think that you're going to get that?"
"I hope so…"
"He'll get that and then some." Piped in Janie.
"Janie, you have an opinion on the subject?"
"I just saying that there are a lot of rich folks (and not so rich) out there that would sell their grandmothers to finance an evening with Superman. Not that I'm endorsing selling of elderly relations of anything."
"No this show does not endorse the selling of elderly relations in any shape or form. So what exactly will people get for fifty thousand dollars, minimum?"
"The day with me, barring any disasters: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Lunch is a champagne picnic in the clouds above Paris; unfortunately I won't be sharing the champagne. I never drink when I fly. Dinner is on the roof of LexCorp tower. Followed by a flight over Metropolis at night."
"That sounds amazing. If I had the money I would bid myself! I would like to thank Superman for being gracious enough to appear on this show and for putting up with Janie's attempts to hit on him."
"Thank you for having me."
"The auction is on the 25th at the Metropolis institute. Tickets start at fifty dollars. All proceeds go to the third world and local homeless charities. Dinner is at Seven then the bidding starts at Nine. This next song is for all you folks out there like Janie."
The strains of Dreamer come over the radio.
Lex felt a gentle breeze touch his face. The bed dipped as a warm body climbed in and wrapped itself around him.
"So" he said conversationally "You don't mind her hand on your knee"
"I was just being friendly"
"What exactly were you going to work out with her?"
"Jeez, Lex anyone would think you were jealous"
"Jeez, Clark anyone would think you were a flirt"
"So, what's wrong with that. It's just a bit of fun and beside you know how I feel about you"
"What ever happened to that shy fifteen year old that I fell in love with?"
"He grew up."
"Maybe one day you'll grow out of me."
"Lex." said Clark turning Lex around to face him "That will never happen. This is a once in a lifetime deal. I will always love you."
"Yes, Really." Said Clark firmly.
"I'm afraid that one day I might do something to make you hate me."
"That fact that you are afraid should give you hope. Everyone has fears Lex. It's part of being human. It's not a weakness."
"But you're not…"
"Come on Lex, you know better than that, I'm human in everyway that counts."