Frustrated grumbles and groans had been issuing forth from Gwaine's living room for the last twenty minutes. After the first exaggerated sigh, Gwaine figured it was only a matter of time before Arthur got over himself and finally asked for his help.
Buttoning up his slightly wrinkled dress shirt, Gwaine grabbed his leather jacket off the bed and walked into the living room. Arthur was hunched over at the breakfast nook, tapping a pen on the table rapidly and muttering to himself. His hair was sticking up every which way and Gwaine found it highly amusing that something so small was causing the Golden Boy such distress.
Crossing into the kitchen, Gwaine grabbed Arthur's jacket from the coat rack and threw it. It hit Arthur with enough force to make him jerk back and nearly topple off the stool he was perched on.
"What the fuck, Gwaine!"
Gwaine just ignored him, opening the cabinet and grabbing the bottle of wine he'd bought to take to the party. Turning around, Gwaine leaned against the counter and addressed Arthur.
"Just sign the damn thing, for God's sake! 'Happy Christmas. Let's shag. Love, Arthur.' It's not fucking rocket science."
It amused Gwaine to no end to listen to Arthur nearly choke on his tongue.
Ripping the jacket off of his head, Arthur leveled an incredulous look at Gwaine. "I can't write that!," he whispered fiercely.
"But you want to. And he probably wants you to," Gwaine said, torn between amusement at Arthur's extent and exasperation over the fact that Arthur and Merlin were still dancing around each other after months. "Just bite the bullet and do it already. You two are driving the rest of us insane."
"And don't you dare try to deny it," Gwaine said, cutting Arthur off just as his roommate opened his mouth to object. He gave Arthur his most unimpressed look, smirking in satisfaction when Arthur deflated under the weight of his gaze. He watched Arthur struggle internally and cast his eyes around as if someone might be hiding in their apartment and listening in.
"Fine," Arthur whispered quickly, "I do. But you can't be sure that Merlin does too and I'm not going to make a fool of myself in front of everyone when he rejects me."
Gwaine nearly concussed himself with the wine bottle when he threw up his hands in frustration. How could anyone be so dense? Gwaine just wanted to lock the two of them in a room together until they sorted themselves out.
Which isn't actually such a bad idea…
Putting on his best sympathetic look, Gwaine crossed to the breakfast nook and placed his free hand on Arthur's shoulder. "I get ya, mate. Just sign the card "Arthur" and let's head out."
Gwaine just smiled when Arthur looked at him skeptically and kept smiling until Arthur had signed the card, sealed it in its envelope, and written Merlin's name on the front.
"Great," Gwaine exclaimed suddenly, grabbing a startled Arthur and marching him to the door, which Gwaine opened and shoved him through.
Taking out his mobile, Gwaine shot off two texts, one of them to his girlfriend, before slipping it back into his pocket.
"Who are you texting," Arthur asked, suddenly sounding nervous.
"Just Merlin," Gwaine answered with feigned nonchalance, chuckling to himself when Arthur gripped Merlin's card tighter and shuffled his feet.
"And Morgana," he said, grinning as Arthur's eyes widened and his face blanched.
"Come on, princess," Gwaine said, smirking, stepping out into the night.
It's time to sort these two out.