Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its wonderful characters.
The voices in my head were numerous, the noise threatening to drive me into madness. Everywhere they eluded my brain, screaming thoughts and nonsense I would much rather not hear.
The stupid bitch.
Did I feed the cat before I left?
I think I'll call him. It has been three days. Maybe he lost my number…
They were screaming, all of them, and for a brief moment my paranoid mind warned me they were doing it on purpose, that somehow they knew the pain it was causing me. They were laughing, I decided, deep down they all found it humorous that they were torturing me.
"Shut up! Just shut up!" I growled, causing more than a few heads to turn in my direction. I clamped my hands tightly over my ears and allowed an agonized sob to claw its way from my throat. I wanted to kill them, kill them all. Just make the noise stop, I begged. Please, please, please.
"Son." This voice was spoken aloud. It was soft and for a moment I was able to focus on it. "It's time to go."
Then like a wave breaking through a dam the noises were back, a chaos greater than any natural disaster.
Carlisle squeezed my shoulder and with a guiding hand led me from the streets and into a small black BMW. Shutting the door behind me and him climbing into the driver's seat, we were quickly leaving the town behind. Slowly, voice by voice, the commotion died down leaving only two voices in my head, Carlisle's and my own.
I had been weak, stupid, a fool. I had failed society, I had failed myself, but worst of all I had failed Carlisle.
The trip had been a test, an experiment to see if I was ready to once again join the human world, but the voices had been too much and I had failed again. This was the fifth time we had attempted, the god-damned fifth time and it was no better than the first.
My hands squeezed into fists at my side. Carlisle noticed the movement and his golden gaze found mine, his mind not even focusing on the road as worry spilt from his thoughts.
"Son." He began.
"Just don't." I raised a hand to stop him. I didn't deserve his comfort.
He was about to protest, I could hear the words forming in his mind.
Before they could climb from his mouth I spoke again. "Just please, Carlisle, let me be."
And with that Carlisle's eyes adverted to the black asphalt and yellow lines.
The house was in view in less than twenty minutes, the mass of it rising over the trees and peering down at the car as it drove over its dirt driveway and into the garage.
I leaped from the car before its tires even came to a halt, my body a blur as I entered through the side door and settled in the only place of solitude, my room.
"How did it go?" I could hear Jasper ask Carlisle below.
I saw as Carlisle shook his head sadly before he, himself, exited the room.
Once again I begged for it to stop. I didn't want to see what any of them were thinking.
Esme found Carlisle in the kitchen. She stepped forward and brushed the blond hair from his forehead. She leaned in to give him a comforting kiss on the cheek...
That was personal! I shook my head rapidly, trying to shake the thoughts away.
"Stop!" I shouted.
Everyone in the house froze. I could feel as their bodies tensed, could hear as they listened for me to say something else.
I shoved a pillow into my face. Of course it was useless. It could neither kill me nor block the noise.
My door slid open, its edges sliding across the wood of the frame.
"Edward." Jasper spoke, his voice soft as he sent calming waves in my direction.
He took a step forward, his mind telling me of the pity he was feeling. He felt sorry for me! I was the weak one!
I snapped. "Don't you dare feel sorry for me! Don't you dare!"
The others were at the door now, every thought pouring into my own.
Should we interfere?
I couldn't take it! No, this was too much. It was all too much.
"We just want to help." Jasper declared, his gaze meeting the floor.
I was on him then, my hand clenching his throat as I shoved him back against the cream colored wall. "You can't help me! Not one of you! Stop feeling so damn sorry for me!"
"Edward." Emmett's hand was on my back.
No, this wasn't his fault. It was mine. My hand slowly released its embrace from Jasper's scarred throat. I was alone. I would always be alone. I would always fail.
My body fell to the floor, its mass a sunken ship as the cool carpet gathered me in a warm embrace. "Get out." I whispered. "Please."
With a few more thoughts of worry, they left, closing the door behind me.
For once, instead of fighting I let all the thoughts consume me.
Jasper's complete reluctance to be angry at what I had just done.
Emmett's worry as he descended down the stairs at human speed. He was thinking of Rosalie, of when she would come back from her hunt. He needed her right now.
I just lay there, my limbs stretched out on each side of me, my face a contorted image of agony as the voices continued to grow louder second by second until I was completely consumed in nothing but insanity.