Your host this evening is the inimitable fairy_ lust. Now put those lustfull eyes back in their sockets,lest you tempt our host into undoing the fairy magic worked on this tale's formatting ,reverting it to what it was-I wrote it,and I give people nightmares-including grammatical let's all be grateful this has become a G rated affair, and sleep soundly tonight with grammatically correct dreams:-)
NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED FAN FICTION …...
Bon Temps, Shreveport and New Orleans are all buzzing with excitement as everyone gets ready for the 1st Annual Fangreaders Awards. I wonder how the Sheriff of Area 5 is preparing for the awards?…
"The communication of not communicating"
"I don't get why this is so important to you Eric, what's it to you if a bunch of humans exchange gossipy stories?"
Eric looked at his wife in frustration, sometimes she could be such a human!
"Because my business is based on my brand and my brand is me. People come to Fangtasia to see me, to worship me, even with the best of intentions they're diluting my brand. If I want to stay in business, I have to maintain control of my image."
"I still don't get it." Sookie mumbled dejectedly, sometimes Eric could be such a vampire!
"I need people to see vampires in a way that's profitable and the only way to do that is to hijack the awards ceremony by writing our own stories."
"So like, vampire stories for vampires?"
"More like, vampire stories I control the content of. I'm even bringing in a focus group to find out exactly what the humans want. This way there's absolutely no way any human can win those awards and my reputation stays intact."
"Uhh, okeydokey then, I guess. Can I leave now?"
Clearly she wasn't getting this, Eric, tried again.
"How can I possibly know if the people in my focus group are telling the truth about what they really want in a story without you there to tell me what they're not telling me? You yourself have told me many times how humans say one thing and actually think something entirely different. Besides, it's work related, so I'll pay you."
Sookie had to acquiesce (last week's word of the day calendar) that he had a point and this being a paying job didn't hurt either, a girl has expenses and this girl more than most. Her cousins were eating her out of house and home and her shifts at Merlottes were dwindling on account of the lack of customers. She had always absolutely refused to ask Eric for money! She simply wasn't the kind of woman, this way, it wasn't charity, she knew her Gran would be proud of her for maintaining her independence!
The focus group started trickling in, so much for optimism she thought, it was going to be a long night.
The setup was simple enough.
Firstly, each person would be interviewed using a questionnaire, then they would all be brought together the next night after Eric assigned his Area vampires to write whatever it was the humans wanted.
The stories would be read aloud to the focus group audience and afterward they would fill out a comments card.
While all this was happening, Sookie was to monitor their thoughts for later comparison to their outward responses and report back to Eric.
It should've been easy!
After the questionnaires were completed it was clear everybody was lying!
Sookie and Eric went back to his house for the night and sprawled out on his oversized jewel colored couch.
The highlights of the evening:
"Would you encourage your blind date to drink at a vampire bar, if you thought it would increase the chances of your date having sex with you?"
46% said no but 63% had actually done this before and were planning to do it again .The other 37% mostly latched on to the idea immediately to varying degrees and many were planning do this as soon as possible.
The questionnaire was putting ideas into people's heads they otherwise would never thought of seemed to be a running theme for the night.
"Would you pursue a relationship with an ugly vampire in the hopes of being turned into a vampire yourself?"
13% said yes but another 24% were planning on being 'black widows' the very second they were turned by the aforementioned ugly maker.
Very creepy! Eric had definitely not liked the answer to that one. It's not like everyone was perfectly perfect like him and he had the people in his area to protect.
"Is being kidnapped by a vampire to be kept as a human might keep a pet an attractive idea to you?"
Everyone pretended to be put off by the idea but most secretly, started to pray for it. It turns out, a lot of people hate their lives and would find eating out of a dog dish preferable to being in a dog eat dog world.
That was just depressing.
Not all of them were this extreme, but by the end the night they were both questioning their sanity on how they could actually be neighbors with some of these people! They all looked so average and normal.
Who would suspect such innocent looking people had imaginations that could frighten even vampires?
Then suddenly, Sookie realized something, the focus group had absolutely no fang bangers!
When she queried Eric about it, he replied that their opinion didn't matter, because he already owned them as steady clientele.
"You know something Eric, it sounds to me like you already own these writers too, just like with the fang bangers."
He looked thoughtful for moment ,and then replied, "I hadn't thought about it that way. I'll have to make sure when the stories I have commissioned are submitted, that they don't decimate the pre-existing writing communities goodwill towards vampires, especially considering it will be a vampire writing under my orders winning every single award."
Some marriages just don't have any communication sometimes.
AND WITH THAT WE WELCOME BACK OUR HOST(err...people...Eyes...Sockets...Remember!)
Thank you menoma_minx for submitting this promo fic for the Fangreaders Awards. I'm sure Eric doesn't own ALL the fanfic writers *Looks out over the audience and sees everyone drooling * Well, maybe he does!