It's… MUSHIIIIIII! Heh heh! Here we go.
The crazy, f$%ked up 5-year-old known as Mushi quietly sleeped in her room, uninterrupted. Some snake charmer music started playing and Jar Jar opened the door, sliding in like a snake, sticking his tongue out. He slid up to Mushi's nightstand and stuck his "fangs" into the glass, sucking up all the milk. He let go and said, "Mmmm, ssss… That is goood… ssss."
Darkrai then drifted in. "I gotta say, you suck milk more than a vampire sucks blood."
Somewhere in the Underworld, Dracula sat lazily on a couch, reading this fic. "Heh. Dracula don't suck. He SCRAPE… and LICK." He stuck his tongue out. "SCRAPE and LICK." And again.
"Anyhoo…" Darkrai began, turning to Mushi. "Mushi Sanban, prepared to be scared… SON!"
"Son? But she-sa girl. Which means… SHE-SE BOY! NYEE HEE HEE HEE-"
"OH, JUST STOP IT!"
"HA' SOME MI'K!"
"NOT THIS TIME! Let me get the nightmare started, then I'll have some mi'k- er, milk. Oh, let's just do it." With that, he gave Mushi a nightmare.
Inside her nightmare, Mushi awoke to find herself in infinite whiteness. "Huh? Where am I?" her voice echoed. She walked around for a bit. "HELLOOO? What's going ON here?"
Somewhere else, Darkrai was watching this. "Crap!" he exclaimed, taking out a cell phone and dialing a number.
At Nightmare Land, Customer Service was still passed out as his phone rang in his pocket. "Hello. This is Customer Service. If you'd like to make a sale, please leave a message at the 'boo'."
"BOO!" The answering machine yelled.
"Hello? Customer! It's Darkrai! Where the Hell are you? I can't remember what Mushi was afraid of! Ugh, this is exactly why I like doing OCs better. For Arceus' sake, Customer, pick up the phone!"
Bowyer walked in and saw Customer passed out, then ran over to answer his cell phone. "Yuh-oh. Hello, nyar?"
"Bowyer? Where the Hell is Customer?"
"He's, uh, taking a nap, nyah. Sleep like a baby, he DOOES."
"Oh, stop with the singing. Look, I need to know what Mushi's fears were again."
"Why not burning Monkeys, nyah? Them Monkeys, they burn GOOOD."
"Yeah, but I'm sick of the same nightmares over and over, I wanna do something new."
"Maybe arrows scare her? Shoot arrows, you should."
"Ugh! Why would she be afraid of f$%king arrows when she can throw really sharp, pointy crayons!"
"Maybe Hitler scare, nyah! Scare her with Hitler, you SHOUULD!"
"She doesn't even know who that is, how am I gonna-"
"OOH! ! OOH! ! I-sa know! Le's-a me do it, Da'ky!" Jar Jar exclaimed.
"Ugh… fine, fine, good-bye, Bowyer. I'll see what this guy has to offer."
Back in the nightmare, Darkrai hung up his phone. "Alright, Jar Jar, do your stuff."
Jar Jar grinned happily.
"HELLOOOO?" Mushi called out. "Huh?" Suddenly, she was in a downtown street, watching as Voldemort, Sentinel Prime, Palpatine, Firelord Ozai, and Davy Jones started doing clown stuff as circus music played.
Ozai was juggling on a unicycle, Palpatine was throwing pies at Sentinel's butt, Voldemort was swinging over a net in a one-piece suit, and Davy Jones fired out of a cannon.
When it was all done, they posed, and Mushi clapped and laughed. "Hee hee ha ha! That was funny! Do it again!"
"UGH! CUT! !" Darkrai yelled, and everything blacked out.
Mushi awoke from her… nightmare, I guess, looking to Darkrai and Jar Jar. "Jar Jar, that was the WORST f$%king nightmare I ever saw!"
"Oh… we-sa doing nightmare? I thought we-sa doing milk-dwinking competition."
"That had NOTHING to do with drinking milk! !"
"Milkies in da boobies."
"What the- AUGH! ! ! You are IMPOSSIBLE! You are the DUMBEST assistant I have EVER come to know! You make being a spirit AN IMMORTAL HELL! "
Jar Jar's eye started to well up with tears. "UWAAAAHAAAAA!" And he ran out, crying.
"Ugh! Not this crud again!"
"You need to apologize." Mushi said.
"ROOAARRR!" he yelled, shooting his glowing eye in her face.
"EEEP!" She quaked under her blanket in fear.
"Oh my God, why couldn't I have Giratina's job? Sigh… have a good night, I'm going to go scare…" He checked his list. "Tommy Gilligan. Why didn't I get all these last time? Oh yeah, I was, uh… I was drunk. (Wouldn't mind getting drunk now.) Alright, later." With that, he headed out.
"O… kay…" Mushi drew out. "At least I didn't have that Hitler nightmare again, where he shoots arrows at me. I want some Rainbow Munchies! La, la la, la la!" With that, she skipped to the kitchen.
Heh heh heh… Next time, it's Tommy! Alright, later.