Hidan: Get on with the Fucking story already!

Me: Shut up!

WARNING: contains the potty mouth of a bad Hidan, and some minor perverted things… just saying


I sat silently on the couch sipping on my Pepsi can. Just five more minutes until Naruto Shippuden starts! I jumped in my seat as the opening song came on. As the song finished the TV turned off. "What the hell?" I screeched out as I ran up to the television. I set my soda down on the ground and hit the side of the TV. Suddenly the TV shocked me with a volt of energy I fell back onto my bottom. The TV glowed and twitched. I grabbed my can and threw it at the screen. "Heh," I smirked "take that you stupid machine!" Said machine spurt back on and black lightning spit out of it. Oh, crap! I jumped towards the couch and hid behind it. After a few minutes, I heard a few thuds.

Quickly I grabbed my emergency bat from the corner behind the couch and started to count. One, two, three, four, five…. GO! I jumped from behind the couch bat in hand. I knew better than to directly attack so I just jumped into view ready just in case. I stared blankly in front of me, surprised at the sight. In front of me stood the most evil organization in the whole Naruto series; the Akatsuki. I knew it was they because those black cloaks and red clouds could only belong to them. I gaped at the sight of seven male and one female who equally matched my gaze.

Deidara only had a towel on while Sasori, Pein, Konan, Zetsu and Tobi had their cloaks on. Hidan was only wearing pants now with blood smeared on his chest. Kakuzu was wearing a sleeveless black shirt and two akatsuki cloaks were currently in his hands. Itachi and Kisame were shirtless but they were holding the remainder of their clothes.

"Danna cover me, un!" I heard Deidara shout as he ran behind Sasori. The puppet just growled and wrapped his cloak around the blond.

"Better, brat!" growled Sasori intimidatingly. Said brat just nodded and flashed a smile up to his danna. I stared at them amused. This is why there are so many fanfics about them.

"Zetsu-chan!" Tobi whined drawing my attention. Zetsu stared down at Tobi who was hopping from one leg to the other as if he needed to pee.

"Do you need to use the bathroom?" I asked interrupting there conversation.

"Tobi need to use the bathroom please!" the lollipop boy practically beg in his best pleading voice. I sighed and motioned for him to follow me.

"Wait a minute you mother fucker!" exclaimed Hidan. I turned to face him with a bored look on my face.

"What?" I questioned annoyed.

"Why the Fuck are you letting the little fucker use the bathroom if you don't even know who the fuck we are?" He questioned while moving closer to me.

"Oh," I explained, "but I do know who you guys are. Either way I don't need you to tell me what I should and shouldn't do." I pointed at him. Wait a little while and he'll start to get annoyed at this. Hidan's faced boiled red with what I believe is anger.

"Oh yeah mother fucker-" he started to yell.

"Aoi, do you have some sugar I could borrow?" shouted a girl as she ran inside my living room. Her muddy brown hair swung from side to side as she strut over to me. She wore a purple dress with a pair of white leggings and black sandals. She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw who the members in the room were.

"Holy fuck! It's the Akatsuki!" she shouted before falling back. Her head thumped loudly on the floor as she fainted. I sighed, put my bat down and then leaned down to pick her up.

"Who the fuck is that?" questioned Hidan rudely.

"Momo-chan." I replied monotone. I headed to the doorway leading to the stairs and the bathroom.

"Tobi, the bathroom is right there." I pointed out to a door, "don't touch anything, and just use the toilet."

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi exclaimed as he ran to the bathroom. I heard Zetsu sigh before following after him, the black side of him cursing silently. I turned back to the remaining Akatsuki members and faced them with a bored expression.

"Stay here I'll be back in a few minutes." I instructed.

"And what if we don't?" questioned Pein in a monotone voice. I sighed and adjusted my friend on my shoulder. Damn, either she's heavy or I'm just weak.

"You don't get free food and a place to stay for the night." I responded matching his tone. He nodded and I climbed up the stairs. All was quiet until I heard a boom from downstairs. I quickly set Momo inside my room, not even putting her on the bed, and ran downstairs.

As I ran down, I grabbed another bat I had hidden in a fake plant. I ran to the living room and saw my TV destroyed. It lay splattered on the wooden floor, junks of TV here and there. I gasped and my arms dropped to my sides. The Akatsuki members turned to me and sweat dropped. Deidara looked like he was ready to make a run for it.

"Who the hell broke the TV?" I managed to ask through clenched teeth's. I saw Deidara gulp before slowly raising his hand. The blond had a slightly frightened look on his face. I walked up to the bomber and hit my bat violently against his stomach. Deidara flew back at the blow to his stomach and crashed into the remains of the television. I gazed at him with intent to kill in my eyes. I brought my bat down again against the blondes' chest. Said blond cried out in pain at the blow and started to crawl.

"Danna help me, un!" he cried out to the puppet master. The red head shook his head slightly with a big smirk on his face. Deidara looked at the others with pleading eyes before I struck him in the ribs again. He gasped as pain exploded into his body.

"Aoi!" shouted an annoying voice I could only recognize as one of my friends. I looked to my left and saw said friend rushing over to me. Her cheeks puffed red against her chocolate colored skin. Her short dark brown hair stuck out under her purple hat. She wore a big blue jacket with a pair of faded jeans. A shorter girl with black hair and dark skin followed behind her. Her red jacket reaching up to her knees. She carried a few bags full of groceries in her hands.

"Welcome home Akiko." I greeted landing another blow on Deidara, " You too Hana-chan." Akiko; the tall one, rushed over to me and took the bat away from my hands.

"Aoi, bad girl!" she scolded as she tossed the bat to Hana. Hana caught it and hid it in the closet. "Aoi, it's bad to hit people! You should know better! It's… its rude!" I listened to her nag me, I nodded at all she said and stayed silent waiting for my scolding to be over. Akiko took out a syringe and pressed it to a bottle drawing on the liquid. Oh hell no! I took my sight away from Akiko and made a run for it.

"Grab her!" she shouted as she ran towards me syringe in hand. Tobi and Zetsu came out of the bathroom and heard command. Tobi jumped to me and pressed me to the ground. He folded my left arm behind my back and sat on it. My other hand he pressed to the floor.

"Good job." Praised Akiko as she rushed over to me. The syringe ready to insert my arm. She kneeled down next to my arm and pulled up my sleeve.

"Yes, because Tobi is a good boy!" the boy squealed in joy. He held my arm in place as Akiko pressed the needle to my skin. I closed my eyes and sighed as I felt the pierce of the thin metal. Soon Akiko removed the needle and my eyes started to droop.

"G'night." I mumbled before I closed my eyes. The darkness engulfed me covering in a blanket of emptiness.

"I only do this because I care about you." Whispered Akiko as she pat my head. I smiled at her and nodded in understanding.

"I know already." I mumbled before I fell asleep. This has been a hell of a night.