"HOWL!" I screamed from my little hidey-hole... well it had been till he decided to join me. I didn't really mind that he had come to join me it was just that... His hands came with him... which had a tendency to go where they were.. unwanted. Like the first time I'd had met him, he had rescued me for being taken out for 'tea' by some guards and what did he have the nerve to do? He put his arm around my shoulder and as soon the guards went out of sight he groped me. I would have slapped him if I hadn't been so scared he might have turned me into something unnatural. When he lifted me into the air and we flew he groped me good and proper when we were flying in the air seconds later, he put his arm around my waist and groped me again. Then grabbed both my hands so I couldn't slap him. I was pulled out of my thoughts by something hand shaped pressing on my bum. I slapped his face leaving a satisfying red handprint on his check.
"STOP TOUCHING ME!" his hands fell from my round butt and I stormed out. Then remembering why I'd been hiding in the first place ran back inside. I would endure Howl's hand's to escape the horror that awaited me.
Outside my not so hidden-hidey hole was the worst demon stalking the world... Howls mother... his real mother. She'd been staying for the last 2 days and from the first time I made eye contact I'd been bombarded by discussions on when the non existent wedding would be held and what she would wear. I'd tried fervently to get that demon to see reason but she just couldn't be told 'no they weren't dating and would never consider it'.. well I wouldn't.
"Sophieeee!" I shuddered at the at the thought of her next words and shrank back unknowingly pressing against Howl, but I was pleasantly surprised by what floated up
"Come help me find my son please!" a smirk appeared on my face as I turned to look evilly at the cringing Howl with his best puppy face on.
"This is for the gropes" I took a step in her direction as her next words reached my ears "We need to discuss what colour table cloths we need together" my face instantly changed to horror and I felt the familiar hand on my bum. I automatically jumped away and landed right in the path of Howl's mother the soft words following me out "Better you than me..".
"Ah, there you are dear" she smiled up at me and I plastered a fake smile on my lips and said
"You found me" my voice full of fake cheerfulness and my eye's searching for a way out anything would do. I saw a broom in the corner and strode towards it only to find my wrist manacled by her strong fingers
"Come now Sophie we don't have time to clean right now we need to choose the cake, the icing, the table cloths and much more.. and seeing how my son is no where to be found you'll need to help me all day" my face was still turned away from her and horror was so deep in my face I'm sure it'll never go away.
"But.. but I need.. need to-" I stammered
"No buts and stop stammering its un-lady like.. now come we need to discuss a lot of things" she began dragging me off and I shot a death promising glare at the darkened hidey-hole once occupied by myself.
"Let go of the door frame before you brake it" I was hyperventilating
"I-I have WORK to do.. I don't have time!" my arms were straining to stop her from taking me to discuss something I never wanted to happen
"Don't be silly" she said as she tried to detach me from the door frame "this will be the best day of your life" my arms gave way as my fingers slipped from the wooden door frame. As soon as I was free the door slammed shut and locked. She led me over to the couch and sat me down while she got the gigantic wedding books out.
"there not so bad now.."
I got my self through the whole rest of the day by taking brakes every now and then to make more tea and occupying my mind with the best way to get back at Howl. So far I'd gotten to adding poison to his food and was happily day dreaming of his agonised screaming as the poison took affect.
"You must really love him..." shattered through my day dream
"It's pardon dear. And I said you must really love him" I looked at her like she'd grown three more heads and she must have seen it as a questioning look because she elaborated "you keep on sighing and day dreaming with a fuzzy smile" she sighed happily and clasped her hands together "I remember when I fell in love with Howls father. He was such a sweet man and-"
"SOPHIE! COME AND MAKE DINNER!" Howl and Michael yelled from the dinning room. 'Thank god!' I thought then stood up saying
"I'm sorry, but I must return to my duties... please come and eat with us when dinner is ready" I smiled and fled to the kitchen. I scowled at Howl who was sitting innocently reading a book I asked,
"Back in his room... doing some strange things" I sighed deciding I didn't want to think about it and got ready to make a meal.
"So Calcifer how was your day?"
"Just fine.. I was ordered to change direction 3 times, Howl had another bath and use up all my hot water and... Sophie?.." I had been frozen still for some time and seemed to be twitching then tightening my grip on the spatular whacked it across Howls face then while he was still stunned abandoned the weapon jumped on his turned back and they crashed to the floor where I began banging his head against it in time with each word I screamed at him
"Stop! Touching! My! Ass! You! Pervert! You! EVER! Come! Within! Two! Meters! Of! My! Ass! Again! You! Will! Loose! Your! Precious! Piece! Of! Meat! You! Call! A! Penis! And! Watch! As! I! Eat! It!" just then the demon that was Howls mother came down the stair to see me burning a hole in the back of Howls head with my eyes and had my hands around the back of his neck trying to strangle him from behind as I straddled his back.
The stair creaked and my head shot up to see her standing there with a dazed happy look on her face. I took in my position and how it would look to someone who hadn't been there to see the context of it. I started to get up and said "this isn't what it looks like-" she interrupted saying "don't worry dear, I know how much you love each other I'll just leave you two love birds alone to jump each other with pure passion in peace"
"No! NO! it's not like that! He was-" but she was gone. I stood stunned near the stairs as she disappeared when I felt a hand shaped thing squeeze my butt. I grabbed a big knife in one hand, spun around and punched Howl with the other. Then holding him down with one foot as he struggled to be free I cut away his pants evilness glinting in my eyes while he begged for forgiveness and sliced down.
I was jolted from my daze by Howl who was on the stairs looking into my face with a worried puppy expression.
"What?" I asked a little creeped out.
"You didn't react I thought something was wrong" I growled angrily shouting and reach behind me for an implement and grabbing the front of Howls shirt
"Wrong? I'll show you what's wrong?" he twisted out of my grasp and made a hasty retreat upstairs.