It had been a long day, but even after carrying mattresses, harvesting and playing three rounds of soccer – out of which I won two – I wasn't remotely close to tired. People were starting to head out of the Game Room and into their own rooms, their beds, their own privacy.
The monsoons were finally over, and for the first time for what felt like forever, I could finally close some doors between myself and all the other people. But, unlike the last time we had moved after the rainy season, I wouldn't be sharing a room with my brother.
"You up for another game, bro?" Kyle asked as he tossed the football to me. Since I was watching Wanda, sitting at the side of the room with Mel and Jamie, who had fallen asleep in his sister's lap, I missed the ball and it hit me in the head.
I turned my attention to Kyle, who seemed to laugh at me, and I nodded while taking the ball up from the ground. Yeah, another game sounded good. I was stalling after all, wasn't I? And since Kyle offered...
It was stupid to stall, I knew that. But I didn't know what else to do.
I had never truly been alone with Wanda before, and after tonight, we would be alone together a lot. It's not like I didn't want it, because I did. I loved her. I just didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to expect, what she expected. I knew absolutely nothing. All I knew was that I shouldn't be this damn clueless.
I shook the thoughts away and concentrated on the ball in my hands. I did know how to play soccer, and I knew how my brother worked. I knew it wouldn't be an easy match, but it would take the time I needed. Maybe I would actually be tired afterward.
At half time, I was winning by one goal, but Kyle was still confident he would win this. Things could go either way, I'd say. Wanda handed me a water bottle with worry in her eyes, and I chuckled.
"I'm fine," I chuckled, knowing why she was worried. When Kyle and I played one-on-one, it got rough. It wasn't just a tackle here and there, it was full body tackles that left you on the ground. I was used to it. It's just the way we worked. But Wanda had never actually seen us play against each other, just me and him, so I understood her worry.
"They're boys," Mel laughed it off, but Wanda didn't look so sure. Kyle yelled at me the same second to come over and continue with the game, and I tossed the rest of the water to Wanda before I leaned down and placed a kiss on my girl's cheek.
"Don't worry so much," I whispered before I grinned and jogged over to Kyle again. He actually ended up winning with three goals, but it was close up until the end. He promised me a rematch tomorrow night, but I turned it down. He could have this one.
Also because my shoulder was starting to hurt after all of those tackles.
"You look tired, Ian," Mel stated and I told her it was fine. She smiled smugly then, as if I had missed something. As if she knew something I didn't know.
I saw that Jared lifted Jamie up into his arms, telling Mel that he was heading to their room right after leaving Jamie in his. Mel nodded and looked at Wanda. They said their goodnights, and then suddenly it was just me and Wanda. Alone. Everyone was asleep, or on their way to their rooms to get to it.
"How's that foot of yours?" I asked as I reached my hand out, and Wanda took it without hesitation. In our second game of the night, Wanda had been tackled – not bad but enough for her to stumble on her own feet. She ended up with what was probably a sprained ankle, and she refused to take the No Pain Doc was so willing to give her.
"It's fine," she lied and I shook my head in amusement. Wouldn't she ever learn?
She was about to start walking when I lifted her up, and in a swift movement I had her cradled in my arms. She was about to object, but then realized that it would probably hurt to walk. Instead she rested her tiny head against my shoulder, and I could hear her breathe out in a sigh. She sounded happy. Content. Relaxed.
None of us spoke until I reached the corridor that led to most of the rooms, ours included. I knew why I wasn't talking, and I guessed that she was thinking about something as well. I just didn't know what.
But now all those thoughts I had tried to push away all day was there. It was impossible to not think about it as I felt her body against mine like this.
People would joke that Wanda and I were attached by the hip, as we were always touching. We were always making sure the other was close enough to see. And I guess that was right. Thinking about the times I had left her alone, and what had happened, was it really that strange that I wanted to make sure she was alright, safe, all the time?I knew everyone here liked her – especially since she wasn't in Mel's body anymore – but something could still happen. And I was scared to loose her.
But yes, after that first real kiss the night the rains started, we had been attached by the hips. And I liked it. Loved it even. Mostly the small stuff. Like her hand could out of nowhere end up resting on my knee during dinner, or how her fingers would play with my hair right before falling asleep. It was like she was unaware of these things, which only made them more special to me since I was very much aware of them. And the tingling, warm, loving feeling they left me with.
I had spent nineteen years never truly wanting to rely on another person. I was content with my family, even with Kyle. Jodi became like a sister – extended family. Then the world as I knew it was over, and I spent nearly five years trying to survive. Nothing else. Then Wanda walked into my life, and I realized that for the first time in my life, I was in love. I had had crushes, of course, and things I would call lust. But never love. Not like this. Being completely willing to give everything to someone, no matter what it would cost me. Wanda changed my life, she changed me. All for the better.
But not even during a month long raid had we managed to get more then ten minutes alone together. This lead us to nothing more than stealing kisses with each other when no one was around, kisses that we were sure wouldn't lead to anything.
When Wanda was in Mel's body, and I first realized I was actually in love with her, I made a promise to myself. I had to respect Mel, and her wishes, so I wouldn't try anything. I would settle with being in love, pretending that it was nothing more than friendship. Wanda didn't need my troubles. And besides, why would she even care for me the way I cared for her?
Then things changed. She told me she loved me too, and then she had her own body. I still promised myself I wouldn't rush her. I would just have to control myself. And after she was inserted in Pet's body, it took a while before we even kissed again. That first night of the rains.
Now we would be alone for the first time. Truly alone. No other people sleeping just inches away from us, no double minds, no nothing. It was just me and her.
But I had to know something.
"Can I ask you something?" I wondered when I rounded the corner, my voice whispered not to wake anyone up.
"Anything," she murmured back in a soft voice, and I braced myself. I didn't know how to ask the question. I settled for just asking.
"How old are you?"
I needed to know. I wasn't sure if she had lied or not when she said she would turn eighteen. Her body looked so young, merely fifteen, but I wanted to believe her. And some people looked younger than they were.
"Thousands of years," she whispered back, her voice hesitant. She knew that's not what I wanted to know, and that's when I knew that she had lied that time in the Game Room. She wasn't eighteen. Well, her body wasn't eighteen.
"No, not..." I let out a sigh, rephrasing myself. "Your body. How old is your body?"
She was quiet until I reached our room, and I stopped in my tracks right there.
"Seventeen," she whispered, almost scared. Like she really didn't want me to know. I nodded to myself, hearing the truth in her voice, and I carefully put her down on the floor. I lifted the red door out of the way, and motioned for her to walk in first. She stepped carefully into the room, as if making sure I was really coming with her. I took half a step in her direction, but then stopped myself.
"I'm just gonna go get you some No Pain after all, okay?"
I turned around before I could see her face, knowing that our room was lit up by the moon. It happened once in a while, and tonight was one of those nights.
I hurried down the corridor, not letting myself think before I couldn't feel Wanda's eyes on my back anymore. I slowed down until I stopped, and stood there for a second. Just taking it in.
"Shit," I heard myself mumble under my breath. Shit.
Seventeen, really? I could feel all of my hopes and nerves about tonight running out of me. I didn't have to worry about that now, right? Seventeen. Technically, Wanda's body was underage, even though she herself was much, much older than me. But her body was underage, and I felt like if I took things further before she turned eighteen, I would take advantage of her. Of course she wouldn't see it like that, she would do anything to please me. Which only made me feel like I took even more advantage of her. And I didn't like that.
Grabbing a bottle of No Pain once I reached the Hospital Wing, I turned around, realizing I shouldn't be stalling any more. Maybe she wasn't even in the same mind as I was. Maybe she wasn't even thinking about going there with me. I wouldn't know, right?
I groaned to myself, knowing that I did actually know. The way she kissed me, the way she looked at me, the way she touched me. She had clearly been thinking about it.
My eyes wandered across the room, wondering if I could hide in here for a few months, and pretend like everything was okay. I let out another groan, knowing it was impossible. My eyes stopped on the cot standing in the middle of the room, and I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.
I remembered how just a few months ago, I had been sitting next to that cot, waiting patiently for Wanda to wake up. I knew then already that I loved her, and that her body really didn't matter. I loved Wanda, the soul inside the body. Nothing else mattered. She looked young, yes, but I had promised myself right then and there that no matter her age, it didn't matter. It was just her body. Sure, it was a significant part of her, but it wasn't who she was. She was this wonderful, kind, amazing person. And her body wouldn't change that. It wouldn't change the way I felt about her.
I promised myself that I wouldn't rush her, wouldn't push her. I would let her explore her body on her own, and when she was ready, so would I be. I didn't care if she was ready that night, or years ahead. I would wait for her. Because I loved her.
And now, staring at that cot, I realized that I had broken that promise. I realized that most of my thoughts came from my nerves. My insecurities.
I knew that if this wasn't Wanda, if this was a normal world, I wouldn't have even thought about taking things further. I wouldn't have started a relationship in the first place. But this wasn't a normal world, and it was Wanda. And I was very much in love with her. Body and soul.
"I can do this," I said to myself as I started to walk again. The walk turned into a soft jog, and I reached the right hallway in a matter of minutes.
Pull yourself together, Ian, I told myself as I started walking again, reaching our room. The red door was in the same place that I had left it, and I realized that Wanda probably had troubles with closing it. Only one foot and all. I shook my head, placed the bottle in my pocket and shut the door behind me. Clouds were hiding the moon, and the room was just as dark as it usually was. I could barely see my hand before me, but I knew this room all to well. I knew where I had placed the mattresses. I knew that they would be linked together, over by the wall right in front of me. I counted the steps I took, and calculated that after about five of them, I would be able to sit down right next to the mattresses on the floor. And I did. I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath when I heard Wanda stir on her mattress. She sat up beside me, but she didn't say anything. Just as I was about to talk, the moon showed itself again and stirred some light into the room. I could see her face then, and knew without even thinking about it that she had been crying.
Perfect. I made her cry. I mentally slapped myself and grabbed her hand, and squeezed it. Trying to let her know that it was all okay, without actually saying anything. But I had to say something, and after she squeezed my hand back, I settled for what I had planned on asking.
"Why did you lie?" My voice was quiet, and I wondered for a second if she had even heard me. Then she let out a sigh, and I knew that she had.
"Because you're honorable, Ian."
And that's when I knew for sure that she definitely had been thinking about this as much as I had. I smiled a little at the thought, but quickly composed myself. Just because she had been thinking about it – us – didn't mean that she was ready. And if she was, but her body wasn't? Yeah, sure, I had sex when I was seventeen. That didn't mean that everyone was ready at seventeen. I knew a lot had sex at thirteen, fourteen, and the age kept going down. But I didn't want to rush things.
And I couldn't imagine this body – this beautiful, small, delicate body – in that way. I don't know if it was because it had belonged to a soul for so long, or because it looked so young, or maybe because I didn't want to think about it. I knew Wanda. I knew I would be her first, her only. That also included wanting to be her body's first. Her body's only.
"How..." I started, trailing off. Ugh, how should I put it? Wanda didn't mind waiting patiently as I tried to figure it out, and she let me think in silence until I had found a way. "How familiar are you with the way humans procreate?"
I grimaced at how bad it sounded, and I knew I could have put it in a more delicate way. In a better way. I made it sound like she didn't know a thing about humans, even though she knew a lot of things.
"Enough to know that it's complicated," she murmured and I nodded to myself. Complicated. The word definitely did suit our situation. But it was a lot more than that. It was easy, and fun, and... complicated. Before I could say something, she continued. "I understand if you don't want me, Ian. There's... I can wait, you know. Until this body is eighteen, I mean."
I chuckled once to myself before I grabbed her face and pressed my lips against hers gently. Once, twice, thrice. She kissed me back, and I smiled softly as I felt her to the same.
"Age is not the problem, Wanda. You're a lot older than me, remember?"
"Then what is?" she wanted to know, and she pulled our hands toward her body. I knew what she wanted, so I scooped up beside her on the mattress, and wrapped my arms around her. She knew I wasn't mad about her lying about her age. She had probably been scared that I had been though. Probably why she had cried, even. Maybe she had thought that I didn't want her, but I did. Badly. I just... I couldn't afford to rush this.
"I love you Wanda, I truly do. And trust me, I want you. In every sense of the word. But I need to know that you're sure. I need to know that you're ready. You and your body. I can't afford to rush this, I can't afford you possibly regretting things. That's the last thing I want."
"I love you too, Ian," she smiled as she leaned into my side. She lifted her gaze, and I could make out a shadow of the silver in her eyes. She was so beautiful. Right now, always. "And I'm ready. I think. Pet wasn't experienced, but I know enough from Mel, and I know that it's a big step. But I want to take that step with you. I trust you, like no one else."
She confirmed what I had already guessed. Her body was inexperienced. It would hurt. I would hurt her.
"I don't want to hurt you," I whispered and I saw the confusion in her eyes. Why would you hurt me? The question was so clearly written in her eyes, and I wondered for a second exactly how much she did know. It was pretty obvious that Mel had never let her take part of those memories, and a part of me was glad. Still though, how much did she really know? I knew I would only make her uncomfortable by asking, so I didn't.
"Trust me, the first time hurts," I said, stroking a strand of her hair away from her face, wishing there was some way for it not to hurt. But I knew there wasn't. I knew it was different for everyone though. Some women barely felt it, while some couldn't even go through with it.
I watched Wanda as she thought it through, and after a minute her eyes returned to mine.
"I don't care," she shook her head, and I heard nothing but the truth. "I want this. I want you."
Cupping her small face in my right hand, I looked into her eyes for a long time. Searching. I didn't know what I was searching for, and eventually I stopped and settled for just looking into those beautiful, silver eyes.
"You're sure about this?" I wondered, and she nodded slowly. I leaned down just a little bit, to close the distance between our faces, and I stopped when our noses touched. I had one more thing I had to ask her. "You're sure about now?"
"As sure as I could ever be," she murmured, her eyes never leaving mine. I swallowed, reminding myself to breathe, before I closed the distance between our lips and her mouth welcomed mine with a smile. Capturing her lower lip, I sucked on it gently and I had every intention on darting my tongue into her mouth. That is until I could feel her teeth taking a nibble on my upper lip, and I let out a growl of pleasure before my body froze.
"Ian?" Wanda stammered besides me, fearing that she had done something wrong. I jumped up on my feet in a swift movement, and looked at her.
"I'll be back soon, okay?" I stated and I could see confusion written all over her face. I didn't have time to explain this, so instead I leaned down and pressed a quick kiss on her mouth, to reassure her that everything was still fine, before I moved the red door and ran down the hallways again. This time in another direction. This time to the storage room. I rummaged through it until I found what I wanted, and then stared at the box of condoms.
That's when I started to panic. We were really going through with this. I hadn't... Six damn years. That's how long it had been. It wasn't like sex had been the first thought down here, and besides, sex meant something to me. At least now it did. I wasn't a teenager anymore, and I knew the difference between lust and love now. I knew that I wanted it to be special, and with Wanda it would be more than that. But shit, six years. Did I even remember how to do it right? Would she like it?
I slapped myself then, telling myself not to think about this. I could do this.
"I can do this," I said to myself.
"Who the hell are you talking to?" I heard Jared's voice and I quickly placed the box in my pocket and pretended like nothing.
"No one," I muttered, about to get out of his way.
"Hey, wait up," he told me and I turned around to see him crawl inside the small area. "We're probably going the same direction anyway."
I tried to focus on my breathings as I heard him looking for something. It was probably there somewhere. We had gotten back from a raid only two weeks ago, and we wouldn't have to go back on one in a long time. But could he just hurry up and find it?
"What are you looking for?" I asked, impatient. That's when it hit me. He wasn't the only one getting some time alone with his girlfriend for the first time in a while. Of course he was looking for condoms. I wasn't alone in that. I had found Andy with a box yesterday, preparing, and since I could only find one box in there, and we took at least ten on the last raid, more people had prepared. I think I actually saw Wes' with two boxes.
Jared came out a second later, a disappointed look on his face.
"We have to raid again," he said and muttered something that sounded like 'horny bastards' under his breath. I laughed and took out the box in my pocket. It held two– someone had clearly opened it - and I tossed one to him. He caught it, looked at it and then at me. He started laughing then, and I rolled my eyes.
"So that's why you look so nervous, man," he said as he walked up to my side, and we headed back to our separate rooms. "How long has it been?"
I tried to ignore him, but he kept talking.
"You've been here for four years, right?"
"Five," I muttered under my breath, and he exhaled.
"And I thought the monsoon was bad," he shook his head in amusement, and I glared at him.
"Can we just not talk about this?" I asked. It was only making me even more nervous, and I would just like to forget the whole thing. I was sure that I wouldn't actually feel the same way if I had gotten some action lately. It's not like I would talk about it openly, but I would at least be able to joke about it. I wasn't now.
But I tried to tell myself that Wanda told Mel everything, and Mel told Jared everything. So he would probably know that I would have sex tonight, either way. Well, at least that's what I told myself to make myself feel a little better about the situation.
We walked in silence the rest of the way, and he didn't say anything until we reach our hallway.
"Good luck then," he grinned as I stopped outside my room.
"Yeah, you too," I shook my head in amusement against my will, and he laughed. "And Jared, don't tell my brother about this, okay?" He would never let me forget it. Not that I ever wanted to, but I didn't want him to remind me.
"Sure thing," he answered before he ducked into his room and I grabbed the door, removed it and then placed it in its right spot again. I took a deep breath before I turned around and looked at Wanda. She had flopped down on her side, but she wasn't asleep. She looked calm, but as I got closer I could feel the heat from her cheeks. She was blushing.
I smiled to myself as she made room, and I pressed my body against hers, my lips searching for their partner in the darkness. I could feel that she wanted to know what I had been doing, why I had left, but as our lips met she relaxed and she seemed to forget it.
Her tongue welcomed mine as I let my hands slide over her side. From her face, to her shoulder, to her ribs, to her hip. My hand found the heat of her skin, and as my hand moved up again, it brought her shirt with it. I rolled us over then, so that I could easily get it off her, and she didn't seem to protest when my body shifted above hers. I tore our lips apart when I pulled her shirt over her head, and my hands quickly grabbed the hem of the top she was wearing underneath. When that was out of the way, I could feel the heat radiating from her cheeks again. She was blushing, harder this time, but she didn't show any sign of being uncomfortable. I realized then that she had probably never been wearing this little in front of a man before, and that made me smile. The fact that she wasn't trying to cover her chest with anything showed that she really did trust me, and I grinned against her skin as I placed feathery light kisses over it. No matter how much I wanted it, I wouldn't take her bra off just yet. I wanted her to get used to this first, and to even things out I dragged my t-shirt over my head. Goosebumps rose on my arms as her hands traced over my now bare chest, and I could sense her smile in the darkness.
I wasn't nervous anymore, and I was glad that I wasn't. Her being nervous was enough. Because she was. I could feel it in her touches, I could see it in her eyes. I had to be confident now, lead the way. Focus on her, showing her the good before the bad would come. Because her being in pain was bad, and me causing it was even worse. But I shook those thoughts away and focused on her again. Her tongue snaked its way into my mouth, and I groaned as it danced around with mine. Exploring. Just as my hands. I forced myself to move slowly, even though my hands told my brain they wanted to be everywhere, all at once. But that was impossible, and I let them guide themselves over her body one inch at a time. When she broke the kiss to breathe, I let my mouth to the same. I could hear a soft moan escape her lips as my tongue brushed one of her collarbones, and I smiled against her skin. I had probably never heard anything so sexy in my life, and my already hardening member grew even harder. I wasn't sure how much of that she wanted to feel, so I shifted my weight above her but she only pressed my closer again, and another groan left my lips.
As my mouth found her stomach, I realized something. I didn't exactly mean to be thinking about it, but I was. And who could blame me, really?
I moved my head to hers again, and kissed her softly before I leaned out and looked at her.
"I have to ask you something," I murmured and she slowly fluttered her eyes open.
"Can't it wait?" she wondered, a little out of breath. I was too, but I could hide it better then she could.
"What do you want to know?" she wondered, smiling softly.
Since I wasn't nervous anymore, the words found my lips without me even trying.
"Did Pet ever take manners into her own hands?"
She was confused again, and I tried to explain the best I could.
"You know, did she ever play with herself?"
"What do you mean, Ian?" she whispered, probably wondering why I wanted to know. I laughed at how clueless she was, and at how utterly adorable I found it.
"Did she ever touch herself, down there?" I asked, emphasizing the last two words.
"Oh," she finally understood, and the blood rushed to her cheeks again. Her words were rushed and I had to listen closely to hear them. "I can't remember a time when she ever did."
"Wow," I breathed, realizing that she wasn't only a virgin. She had never actually reached an orgasm. Holy cow. I barely had the time to think about it before Wanda talked, her voice worried.
"Is that bad?"
"No," I rushed to assure her. Of course it wasn't. It would just have made things easier, maybe. I wanted Wanda to have that experience, even if it was only in a memory, because I was pretty sure it wouldn't come to that tonight. And I was okay with that, still trying to figure out not to hurt her. I didn't want to scare her off, I wanted her to know that once we passed the pain, something great would come out of it. And orgasming, especially with a partner, was something great. Or actually, everything that led to the orgasm was something great. The orgasm itself was more like the icing on the cake. Nothing could ever reach up to that level when it came to intimacy, and I wanted Wanda to experience that.
So I thought of an idea.
"Do you trust me?" I asked, and she nodded as she stared into my eyes. I already knew the answer, but I just wanted to hear it. "Just tell me if you're not comfortable, or if you want me to stop, or anything."
"I promise," she whispered, and I nodded before I started to unbuckle her jeans. I sat up so that I could pull them off, and I stared into her eyes the entire time as my fingers found their way to the edge of her panties. Asking for permission to do something. She nodded, even though she looked clueless to what I was about to do. I kept my eyes on hers as my hands gently removed the fabric, forcing myself not to watch, no matter how much I wanted it.
Make her comfortable, it was my biggest concern right now. But her eyes were steady as I parted her legs, making way for me, and I smiled to let her know even more that it was really okay. She could trust me. She was clearly wondering what I was doing, and as I lowered my head to do something I hadn't done in years, she voiced the question.
"Ian, what are you..." she started but fell in silence when my mouth found her south parts. "Oh, god."
I smiled, feeling her relax under me, and because of how wet she was. Even though Pet had definitely not even fantasied, Wanda being inside the body made it more than ready. Maybe she had been thinking about this a lot more than I thought. Maybe she had been ready for a long time.
The sounds that escaped her mouth made me even harder, but after about ten minutes of my tongue exploring, I started to worry. Was it me, was I impatient? Or was it Wanda? I knew it was none of my options. I knew it usually didn't take this long, and Wanda was more than willing.
Maybe it takes longer because she's holding back, scared, or maybe it's just hard for his body to receive an orgasm, my mind wandered but I shook my thoughts away and focused on trying to get her to climax. Maybe I haven't found her special spot just yet.
When I captured her throbbing clitoris in my mouth though for a second time, sucking on it gently, something happened. Her breath hitched, and her body froze.
Now we're talking.
Only a second later she moved again, her hands searching for something, anything, to grab. She settled for the edge of the mattress, and then she let out the sexiest sound I had ever heard. It was nothing more than a whimper, she sounded exhausted, but right afterward her mouth formed my name in a whispered moan, full of pleasure.
Realizing that I had actually made her orgasm, her first ever, destroyed my attempts of trying to control myself and I grunted as I ejaculated. Catching my breath as I heard her do the same, I licked up her juices, thinking that I had never tasted something so glorious before.
My mouth searched its way up to her face again, and I hesitated before I pressed my lips against hers. I remembered that my ex never did like to taste herself, but Wanda didn't seem to care and pressed her lips against mine.
"Good or bad?" I asked after a few seconds of kissing, leaning out so that she could fully find her normal breath again. Her heart was beating hard against her rib cage, and I smiled when I felt it.
"Good," she panted. "Very good. I didn't realize that there could be more than just, y'know."
"Humans are complicated," I offered, and she chuckled. She had mentioned once how they reproduced on other planets, and I had to agree that yeah, we were complicated. We didn't do it merely for the cause of reproducing; we did it for intimacy, to feel close to one another, for fun. Because we loved each other.
"Complicated," she agreed against my lips with a smile. Before I had the chance to kiss her, she talked again. "If you can do that with your mouth, what other body parts can you use?"
She blushed as she asked, and even though I chuckled softly I took the question seriously. She wanted to know, and I wanted to teach her everything I could. I was the teacher for once.
I leaned out, my hands moving from her thighs to her sides. I lifted her up a little bit, my left hand holding her in the air as my right moved to the clasp of her bra. She should be comfortable enough for that now, and it was a part of my lesson. She started laughing when I didn't manage to unclasp the damn thing in my first three times, and I buried my head in the crook of her neck, a little ashamed.
"Sorry," I laughed with her, unable not to. Maybe I was nervous after all. She grabbed my face and lifted it so that she could meet my eyes.
"Want some help with that?" she mused, and I didn't fight the groan that tried to escape my lips. I knew she didn't want that to sound sexy, but that only made it sexier. She laughed again and she arched her back, my body moving with hers, and she flopped down again once the clasp was open. I captured her lips with mine, but she only let me kiss her for a few short moments.
"You didn't answer my question," she reminded me, and I grinned against her lips. No, I guess I didn't.
As I tossed her bra aside, I thought that this was very unfair. My jeans kept me from being completely naked with her, but none of us seemed to care right now.
"Well, there's the mouth," I murmured as my lips found her round breasts, taking one of her erect nipples in my mouth to suck on gently.
"Tongue, teeth," I continued, gently taking a nibble and I heard a soft moan from her. My lips found their way back to her face, stopping at her jaw, sucking on the skin on the side of her throat.
"Hands, fingers," I whispered against her skin, my right hand guiding itself downwards until I was able to push two fingers inside of her. I could feel exactly how tight she was, and I wiped the worry off my face before I captured her lips with mine again. My right hand moved to her breast, groping it, to make another point.
"And me? What can I use to make you feel like that?"
"Mouth, tongue, teeth, hands, fingers," I murmured, not having the time to add anything before she stopped me in my tracks.
"Show me how."
I placed both hands the mattress beside her, popping up so that I could see her properly. Did she just say what I thought she said? I hadn't planned on taking things further than sex, but I figured that this was all a part of it.
Her eyes told me that she was very much serious, and I took a deep breath.
God, how was I supposed to show her this? I asked myself as I took her hands in mine, and looked at them. I imagined those small, delicate, pure hands touching me in that way, and I started to grow hard again. Knowing that I really did want this, I kissed her while leading her hands to unbuckle my jeans. I knew that she had already noticed that they were soaking wet, so she didn't ask me about it, knowing why they were that way. I held my body up with the help of my left arm and elbow as my right hand tangled with hers. Her free hand tangled with my hair, and I moaned into her mouth when I felt our hands under the fabric of my underwear. I waited for a few seconds, letting her get used to the idea, before leading her to my growing member. I showed her how to do it right, leading her to a good pace, and when she thought she knew it she waved my hand away. I groaned again, growing harder than I thought possible underneath her touch. But my jeans were in the way, and I wanted to let it all free, so I moved her hand against my will and kissed her harder to show that she had done nothing wrong. She had done everything right, and I wanted more, but I was about to ejaculate two times in a matter of minutes, and no matter how good if felt, I wasn't sure how much I could handle. It had been too long, I didn't trust my body anymore. I had grown to forget how I worked with a partner, how much I could handle.
I reluctantly broke our kiss, only to sit up on my knees, and then stand up completely. She didn't look worried this time, and I quickly took out the box of condoms. I held one with my teeth as I tossed the box on the floor, and pulled the rest of my clothes off. Tossing it in the laundry pile, I looked at her. Asking her yet again if she was sure. She nodded, and I took a deep breath. It was time.
I don't know how it happened, but only few moments after I laid down again, her legs were parted, and her eyes asked me what the hell I was waiting for. The condom was already on, so I guess I was stalling again. My hand underneath her ass moved her a little bit so that I would be able to position myself a little bit better. I made sure she was relaxed enough before slowly starting to move my hips toward her, slowly entering her. Because of how tight she was, I wasn't surprised when a small hiss left her lips but she was fast to reassure me.
"We can do this," she murmured, and I heard that she truly believed it herself. And so I started to move again, stopping when I had entered her completely, letting her get used to the feeling. Get used to me. Us. Like this. Through our lips touching, she relaxed more and more and I started to move again. In and out. I focused on her, and not what we were doing. I had to control myself, make sure I wouldn't end this before she had felt some kind of pleasure out of it. Because I could feel that it was coming. With every thrust, she relaxed more and more, her hips eventually started to move with mine. When she gently bit into my lower lip, I couldn't take it anymore and I grunted her name as I released for a second time tonight. I came down panting, feeling like I should have done something more. I didn't feel like I had taken advantage of her, but it felt wrong to get so much pleasure out of something that had hurt her. But she wiped all of those feelings away by pressing her lips against mine gently, whispering 'thank you'.
I rolled off her, throwing the condom somewhere on the floor for now, before I grabbed the blanket by our feet and pulled it over us. Wanda turned to her side, and I moved closer to her, wrapping my arm around her waist, letting her use my other arm as a pillow. Her legs tangled with mine as she pressed her back against my chest, and I heard her let out a sigh. Tired, happy, content.
"Sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a long day."
"I love you, Ian," she whispered, and I smiled into her blonde locks.
"I love you too, my Wanderer. I truly do."