Chapter 6

It's been two whole days since that incident with Jessica. Marcus had told Heather what happened and she royally beat the living shit out of me. I woke up yesterday being dragged around by Grimm. I'd been getting the VIP treatment from all the others since then.

It was lunch when things got worse. It was my turn for my meal, but Heather handed mine to Gina behind me, who almost never showed up for food, ever. I was slightly irritated about this whole cold shoulder thing, but I hid my feelings and smiled at her, "Are we running low on food?"

She didn't even look at me, but had an angry scowl, "No."

I pretended not to hear, "I see, I should go scavenging again soon."

"Go ahead, take as long as you need."

I looked to Jenny, who was limping due to the Big Daddy incident back at Marcus's workshop, "You still have a gun, right?"

"Sure do, shotgun with upgraded clip size."

Whoa, was that a southern accent? Nice, very nice. I thought about that. I do love shotguns. They always give such a satisfying thump and the recoil makes you feel like you're using a weapon of mass destruction. Heather sighed, "If you plan on going, take a decent weapon at least."

"What do you suggest, madam?"

"A revolver or something similar."

"I see. Might you have one I could borrow or know the location of one?"

"Why are you talking all formal?"

"I think a man should apologize and behave appropriately until forgiven, even if he is clueless as to why."

"You have a long way to go."

"Indeed, now about that weaponry. I think I'll just go with my own abilities for now."

"You do that."

I walked off and could feel the others staring at me. I felt like someone taught me about that formal act I put on. Maybe I should just sit and think some time. I felt something nudge my leg. Looking down, I saw Fang.

"And where the hell have you been?" The beagle whined in response.

"Oh don't tell me they left you."

He whined again.

"How about you come with me for a bit?"

He wagged his tail and started to lead the way.

"Hey, slow down. Yeah, I get it, you're faster than the fat man."

He gave a small bark in response. Being a dog, he had a far better sense of smell, making him my little food radar. He was leading me around for a good twenty-seven minutes before I realized where we were.

"Did you seriously lead me to the Sinclair Deluxe?"

I followed Fang inside. I knelt down and looked the beagle in the eye, "Okay, find the biggest stash of food you can."

He barked twice and trotted up the stairs, wagging his tail all the way.

I was about to go up the stairs myself when some Splicer jumped down. It didn't seem to notice me. I'll just mind my own business. I started to walk past, but I stepped on a vase that had fallen to the ground ages ago. It exploded under my weight.

The Splicer looked over to me and jumped onto the ceiling. He was literally clinging to the ceiling. The fucking ceiling! After the shock and awe factor faded, I noticed the hooks in his hands. Oh… that explains it then.

"It's here! The metal bastard has come to take the Lamb!"

Come again? He has a sheep here? Well, if he was raising hell over it I might just claim the spoils when this is over. I could hear metal moving. It wasn't lumped together like when I walk, but it was hundreds of little pieces all moving at the same time. I could feel a fight coming.

My drill was at the ready as the rest of me was engulfed in fire. Speaking of which, isn't it ironic that I was killed by fire and now I'm using it? Go figure.

The man on the ceiling lunged at me, covering three yards, and planted his foot against the side of my head. I had left my helmet at the camp… fuck me. I grabbed his foot and slammed him into the ground. He hooked a piece of metal on my suit and flung himself out of my grasp and onto the ceiling. He barreled into me, forcing me back a step.

This time I grabbed his neck. He clawed at my hand, but the metal deflected the hooks without trouble. I spread my fingers across the length of his throat and jerked to the side, causing him to emit a sickening snap and go limp. I threw his corps down the hall… where it landed in front of seventeen others.

Feeling a slight dread, I quickly wanted to fight. Something was firing off inside my mind. My thoughts quickly changed from self-preservation to how I would torture and mutilate every single one of them. One thought stood out in particular, one I never thought would come from me.

I'm going to love this bloodbath.

That thought threw off my guard and left me open to attack, which they used. I barely dodged a hook to the temple, but I could feel blood slowly seeping from the cut on my cheek. You know what? Whatever thought of the bloodbath, go ahead and murder to your heart's content.

How generous, I accept with pleasure.

Startled by the response that echoed in my head, I realized I was no longer in control of myself. I moved fast, as fast as I did in the Leviathan fight. Everything became a haze of blended colors. I could barely make out that I had wrapped my arm around a Splicer's chest and bent him backward. I sank my drill into his gut.

His screams were short lived as I pulled out more than vital organs. I used the intestines wrapped around my drill as a noose and strangled another. Before he could cut the flesh wrapped around his neck, my drill roared at it tore into another Splicer's neck. The drill tore off the back of the strangled man's skull and most of the brain. One jumped onto my back, but the flames proved too much for him.

His hooks got caught under my neckpiece; he burned to death on my back.

Four down, thirteen to go.

The voice in my skull kept me up to date with the fight as if I couldn't see for myself. I tore through three more Splicers with a single swing. One hopped onto my front and made a swing for my head. I caught his wrist and bent it until the now broken bones tore through his skin. As he fell to the floor, my foot met him halfway as it connected with another Splicer's groin. I couldn't tell if that killed him, but he was out like a broken light.

I crushed the skull of the one that suffered the groin kick under my foot and slammed another through a wall.

Nine down, only eight left.

This was getting weirder and weirder. Why was a voice in my head? Why can't I control myself? Why is the blood on my face rather pleasant? One tried to run away, but I caught his arm and swung him full force into a wall. The piece of pipe lodged in his head suggested he was dead. I tore the rest of the pipe out of the wall and swung, knocking one out with a single swing. Maybe it killed him.

Another tried to jump onto me, but I jabbed the pipe into his mid-section. A sharp thwack sounded as a Splicer behind me fell face first to the ground, a crude arrow stick out from the side of his skull. All but one ran.

The crazy bitch swung a wrench at me. I caught it and kicked her in the stomach. Her mask fell off and I froze in place.

Ah shit…

Yeah, that sums it up. The face was scarred and missing her left eye, but I knew the stupidly bright purple hair anywhere. Ten years ago, December 26th. That's when I met her.

No, you knew her for a while before that.

I was too shocked to interrogate a voice in my head. She didn't recognize my face. Why doesn't she recognize me? "Erica…"

She recovered and swung at me, her fist connecting against my face harmlessly. If it did anything, I couldn't feel it. She wasn't forming words, just screaming and growling. She kept punching me, but I couldn't move.

"Erica… Why? Why did you become this… thing?"

End her. She's already dead, just let her go.

"No… No she isn't gone. She can hear me. She can hear me!"


"She'll be fine. I just ha-"


"I'll remind her about that day, then she'll-"

An aching pain in my skull caused me to drop to my knees and hide my head in my arms.

I know you feel something for her. You were closer to her than you could ever know. That's why you feel this way. Those feelings, though, are not yours.

"When who's are they? Who would I be for having them? Who are you?!"

Calm down or that archer will put an arrow in us. They aren't your feelings… they are mine. Please, for my sake, put an end to her.

The voice sounded broken, it was like the voice was crying even though I couldn't detect the usual slur of words that troubled people tend to speak. A fountain of questions erupted in my mind, but as quick as those feelings of pain and desperation came, they vanished. The voice in my head was Donavan Santiago, the man I will never be again.

It felt like half my brain stopped working. It wasn't dead, but cold and inactive. I got to my feet as blood started to flow from my eyes. I pressed my hand to my eyes. No, not blood, they were tears. I was crying and couldn't tell. I really am a monster.

My hands slowly reached out towards her. She kept punching me, ignoring my arms slowly closing around her. I brought her close and hugged her tightly. She started kicking me as hard as she could. I still couldn't feel it. All I knew was that even after all this time, she had a slight scent of perfume. One hand rested on the back of her head while the other rested on the base of her neck. I tightened my grip and she stopped kicking. She was still alive so maybe she was too tired to fight back.

I should make this as quick as I can. My left hand slid to her jaw and my right traveled up to the back of her head.


I almost did it then and there from shock. I looked up at the unseen voice.

I… need to do it. Let me take control. I beg you.

I took a breath, "Who was she to you? To us?"

Look at her left hand.

I did and froze yet again. It was smudged and filthy, but it was a diamond ring on her finger.

After school, the plan was she would be my wife. She was so excited that she wore it since I gave it to her, ignoring everything the others said.

It bothered me that I had an alternate personality in my head, yet alone the man I used to be. He was almost married and happy, but then Big Sisters came, carted him off, and made me. I don't think I've hated myself more.

"Do it."

I felt myself grow relaxed, as I no longer had control of my arms. Donavan had control and something changed. He tightened his grip as my eyes narrowed into tear filled slits. With a quick jerk, her neck broke… just as her arms had wrapped around my waist. I didn't know if Donavan knew that part, but I didn't bring it up.

Please, let's go. I don't want to be here anymore.

I felt my brain go cold as Donavan receded. It clearly wasn't up for debate. I picked up Erica's corpse and carried it to a nearby room. I did for her what I did for Miranda. I tucked her in, gave her a flower, and barricaded the room as I left. Fang and a tall man were waiting for me at the end of the hall.

Fang didn't seem to mind him. The man had a large bow sling across his chest. The two bowstrings were made of a flexible metal cable common in the elevators and the bow itself made of metal framing that was oddly flexible. He fixed me with a gaze that could only be a mix of pity and hate. Despite his hand never leaving the bow and make shift quiver on his thigh, he moved to the side as I passed.

He had brown hair, no mutations, pale skin, and blue eyes. He had a muscular build. That was all I could gather before I left the god damned building. I didn't go far before sliding down the tunnel wall and sitting on the floor. Fang crawled up into my lap and laid down. I leaned my head back against the cold glass and closed my eyes. I couldn't sleep, but the closest I could come was listening to noises and time would pass.

I opened my eyes after four hours and eighteen minutes. I woke Fang and walked back to the camp. It was a hive of activity when I arrived, but it all became a droning sound with no possible meaning. I carried my self into the roughly thrown together barracks and sat down on the bed. People were pestering me, pulling at my arms, even trying to pull me to my feet.

They wouldn't understand. They wouldn't know what it's like having who you were still living inside your head, to know there was something before this that you don't know, and to have just killed who would have been your partner for life. I could feel Donavan wake up.

Don't let it bother you. I knew this was possible, everyone in Rapture did.

Why? Why is he still here? Everyone won't leave me alone, so I can't ask. So many faces, just leave. Leave me alone. Even I'm not insensitive to ignore that some people need a moment alone. Why can't you bitches get that?! Stop with the questions, just stop. Give me an hour, I'll be okay again.

They won't leave. They just refuse to leave. I'm gonna lose it. Whatever's left of my mind is about to leave me. If I were a mindless shell like all the others, I wouldn't feel this way. I wouldn't feel anything. On the other hand, these people wouldn't have help, they'd have a shell that would sooner kill them than help them. And what about Alexis? I still haven't found her. If this is inevitable, I can at least hold out until I find her.

That's right. Donavan is dead, he just doesn't know it yet. I, however, am well alive. I have my life, my newly formed family, and my goals. I won't let him hold me back. I won't let a life I haven't lived hinder me. First and foremost, I'm gonna kill Gil Alexander before I leave.

If he's already dead… nah, that would be too easy. As we all know, nothing is ever easy. So here's my life goals: 1) Save Heather, Alexis, and Jessica from Rapture. The others are bonus. 2) Kill Gil in the most satisfying way possible. 3) End Rapture.

Yes, when this is all over I plan on making sure I'm the last abomination in this place. Then, I'll blow it to the fucking moon.

Strange, I actually feel tired. Not exhaustion, just really tired. I have to lie down. I kicked my feet up and laid down on the bed. I turned my back to the crowd and closed my eyes, using my hand as a pillow.

As expected, I was unable to sleep, but I had about an hour of peace before something wormed its way under my arm and pressed against me. Looking down, I saw Karin snuggled in right under my forearm. Where was Marian? Did she know where this kid was?

"Sorry Omega, I was suppose to be babysitting. I guess I dozed off."

That voice. I've never heard it before.

"And you are?"

The Big Sister walked around to my front, "I'm Gina. You know, from before?"

I looked up at her. Her brown hair was tied back and her dark skin seemed to shine like she just took a shower.

"All I remember is that hallucination you gave me."

She smiled and put her hands on her hips, "How was I to know you weren't hostile?"

She had a point. They couldn't have known. I think Heather stepped in on a hunch and happened to be right. It was a full three minutes before she knelt down to my level.

"Did something happen? You know, while you were out?"

It couldn't hurt to tell her. I never really see her around camp usually, so I doubt she'd tell anyone. Even if she did, I don't really have much to hide. I looked her right in the eye, "Secret?"


"Okay. I left to give Heather some space. I ran into a group of Splicers. I heard a voice in my head. The guy I used to be."

"You mean your old life?"

"Yeah, Donavan Santiago was still alive in my head. He actually helped me fight, as if he was doing it himself. In the group, I found someone I knew. She was Donavan's future wife, ring and everything. I felt what he felt, all pain and misery."

"So what happened?"

"I let Don do what he had to."

"He killed her?"


Despite my breakdown earlier, I was remarkably holding myself together.

"So Donavan is fully intact? That's more than we usually get."

Wait, what? No, seriously, what did she just say? I sat up, "So it's common?"

She planted her hand on my shoulder and moved onto my bed, "Oh yeah. I had it, Jenny had it worse, Alexis was practically untouched."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean Jessica told us that Alexis remembered large bits and pieces. She remembered her school, her friends, her name, and a few other things. What turned Jessica against Alexis was that one day she got confused."

"So much hate over a confusion?"

"It gets worse. She forgot that she was a Little Sister and thought she went home. She actually walked into Jessica's old house. Ryan's goons searched everywhere for her and even Sofia Lamb, the crazy dictator today, pitched in. When they found her, they assumed Jessica's parents kidnapped her and shot them dead right there. Jessica found out later and never forgave her. Then she added something to her story."

"What would that be?"

"She looked us all in the eye and said that she stopped looking for revenge. She said, and I quote, "I don't want to make him mad again." Personally, I think she meant you."

"Thank you Gina. I owe you."

"Yeah… yeah, you do."

She looked at my face like I was purple or something. I raised an eyebrow, "What? Something on my face?"

"No, but I think I can see your iris."

That was weird since our eyes were big orbs of color with no real focus or features.

"No, Nevermind. I was just seeing things."

Okay then. She got up and shoved me back, causing me to flop onto my back. As soon as I sat back up, she was sitting between my legs with her back to me.


"Don't give me any of that. You said you owe me one, I'm calling it in."

"What exactly do y-"

"My neck hurts. I could use a good massage. Remove your gloves, first."

To remove my gloved, I had to remove the whole top half of my suit. Luckily for me, I was wearing one of Marcus's old shirts. She seemed a bit disappointed by that, but you could never tell physically. Her pheromones were almost unreadable. Almost. I could only detect massive changes and disappointment was a faint strand in the air.

"Alright, if you're done messing around, get to work."

I did as instructed and started to work on her shoulders. She was so thin my fingers almost connected around her. That or it could just be my huge hands.

"Come on, put some effort into it. You're not done until I'm satisfied."

There was something sadistic about how she said that. I doubled my effort, using all my fingers. My thumbs went in circles on her back.

"I said massage, not a lullaby."

I can't take this anymore. Let me do it.

I hadn't noticed Don was awake, but I let him get to work. He quickly undid the latches on the back of her suit.

"What are you doing?!"

I smiled, "I can't work with all that metal in the way, just hold the front up."

Before she could protest, Don used my knuckles and pressed lightly into her shoulders. I then unfolded my hands from fists and used my palm to move the muscle back and forth as well as moving my thumbs in circles, which were now inside the back of her suit. Continuing the circular motion and sufficient force, I moved my thumbs down either side of her spine, my fingers spreading the muscles in her shoulders.


Uh-huh, where's your attitude now?! I smiled at the change in the tide of this battle.

Oh, I'm not done yet.

I put my wrists on her shoulders and moved them left and right while my middle and index fingers pressed into her neck, working in a scissor motion.

I can't do much more from this angle, get her to lie down.

I got to my feet and moved the still sleeping Karin to the vacant bed behind me.

"What, done already?"

She was trying to sound hardened, but she was showing cracks. Her voice was a little higher, she was blushing, and she wasn't looking me in the eye.

"Not quite, I need you to lie face down now."

"You want me to lay down? Can zip up my suit now?"

"No, now lay down."

She was suddenly a lot more submissive.

Omega, call me stupid but I think she likes dominant men.

Yeah, I was getting that feeling myself. How should I go about this? I guess I could just go through with it. I stole control away from Don and knelt down. I pressed my elbow lightly on the left side of her spine right above her waist and slowly moved it up. Then I moved it in a zigzag pattern back down and did the same with the right side. I slid my hand under the mattress and forced it to catch fire.

I held my flaming limb just out of her dazed sight and started heating the mattress. Then I saw it. She gave a sign of weakness. Her eyes were closed and she was smiling. I abruptly stopped and fastened her suit back up.

"Wa… wait, that's it? I was just starting to enjoy myself."

I started to hook my suit back together, "Exactly."

She looked at me like she was hurt, "You're the devil, you know that?"

"Yes. Yes, I do."

One thing's for sure, I did owe her for the information. I plan to pay her back ten fold, so just nine more of those and we're even. I was about to walk away when she grabbed me and spun me towards her, "Not so fast."

"What else is there?"

"A little fish told me that you were a decent kisser."

"Remind me to kill Jessica later."

"Noted, now come here!"

She did the same thing Jessica did. She stood on her toes, pulled me down, and pushed her lips forward right into my hand.

"Ah ah ah. Catch me off guard once, shame on the offender. Catch me off guard twice, kindly bash my head in."

"I, uh, I'm not sure that's how the saying goes."

"Probably not, but if you want something like a kiss that bad you'll have to steal it."

"Oh, so it's a game now?"

"Sure, anything to break the morbid air of Rapture."

"So before the game begins… could I have a hug?"

I smiled. I did owe her for putting my mind at ease and it wasn't like a hug was a death sentence.

Go ahead. You won't ever get a chance like this again.

I feel like Don was trying to drive a point home or something, but I did as he said and wrapped my arms around her. She pulled me down slightly and whispered in my ear, "I'll get you for messing with me like that."

I smiled and whisper back, "Game on."

Oh, if only I knew what would come next…

HITS: So how was it? Unexpected? Crap choice? Interesting? Damn it people tell me!