Noob Wars

Go away, I'm on my PC,

Playing BF2.

No, I'll take out the trash later,

I'm on a spawning queue.


Right, back again, I'm on the screen,

With the USMC.

Karkand map, oh bloody crap,

This won't be a breeze.


Faster teammates, run bloody faster,

No, don't take the tank!

No you morons, don't charge their guns,

The MEC we've got to flank!


Fine! I will do it myself,

I'll just create a squad.

Hello? People, please sign up!

Are your brains on plod?


Fine, I'll sign on with Alpha Squad,

Hey, where's our commander?

Artillery, UAVs,

Has he gone on gander?


Wish I could say I'm having fun,

But this is not the case.

Cause my team is filled with noobs,

Insults to human race.


The MEC defends, the game ends,

Hey, why aren't I on the board?

Why are these noobs higher than me,

Why was I ignored?


Something's wrong, I tell myself,

My game must have crashed.

Well, guess it's time to turn it off,

And take out the trash.


The idea for this came from a Kotaku article on Battlefield gamers, how statistically, average player skill fits the standard bell curve. For all the talk of "noobs," most fit within a broad area of prowess with only a few being truly elite or hopeless. And I guess this takes some personal experience from Battlefield 2, though at the least, I'm practically always in the upper scoreboards of matches. Yay. :)