A/N: Here's the O/S I donated to Fandom against Famine. This was a ton of fun to write! I hope it's just as fun to read. A big thank you goes to my pre readers: Mindy, Starchick7003, and Lilea and also to my lovely Beta, Tima83! Another HUGE thank you goes to all of you who donated for this amazing cause. I have been honored to be a small part of it. Enjoy!
"You have no idea how I'm feeling, Dr. Hale," she spat.
"Miss Swan, please. I'm only trying to help you," I said calmly. All of my schooling never prepared me for a case like this. Isabella Swan; supposed vampire, paranoid schizophrenic, murderer. She was admitted just a few months ago after killing and draining the blood from her father; Forks, Washington's police chief, Charlie Swan.
I watched as her eyes darted from side to side, eyeing the window to her right and the door out of my office to her left.
"Miss Swan, you are required to attend these sessions in their entirety so you might as well get comfortable."
Her cold eyes bore in to mine. I was beginning to get nervous and even though I'd been taught to never show a shred of emotion when it came to these criminals and their treatment, I fidgeted under the weight of her glare.
Her lips transformed in to a cruel and mocking smile. "What's the matter Jasper? Am I making you nervous?" She chuckled darkly when I cleared my throat.
I squared my shoulders, took a deep breath and got my head back in the game. Because that's all it was, a game and she loved to try to get the upper hand. That's why I was the third psychiatrist at the Danvers State Hospital for the Criminally Insane to have the unfortunate luck of acquiring her as a patient.
"She's a pistol, that's for sure," Dr. Carlisle Cullen, administrator and lead psychiatrist at Danvers, told me as he handed me the thick file.
"And you say I'm the third one?" I asked as I thumbed through the file. "She's only been here three months, Carlisle. What could I possibly do differently? It seems to me that she just doesn't want treatment."
"Jasper, I'm only asking you to try. Nothing more, nothing less," he said as he sat behind his desk. "And she doesn't have a choice as to whether she wants treatment or not. If she ever wants a semblance of a normal life ever again, she has to be treated." He sat up and folded his hands out in front of him, resting them on his desk. "Listen, this doesn't leave this room but you are the brightest and most determined doctor here. No one else can seem to get through to her. You are basically her last hope and I have full confidence that you won't let her or me down. Take the file home, look it over, and get back to me. Your first session with her is tomorrow afternoon. If it doesn't go well and you're not comfortable treating her, I will of course make other arrangements for her."
That was three weeks ago. Three weeks of trying and getting nowhere. Three weeks of constant headaches and games. She loved the games she played. One of her favorites was trying to intimidate me. She also knew how much I hated that she called me Jasper.
"Not at all, Bella," I countered. Her nose scrunched up and she huffed as she slammed her back against her chair. It reminded me of a child's tantrums when they didn't get their way.
"You don't know me, Jasper. Don't call me by my name again or you will be sorry." Her eyes flashed – red? I couldn't be sure because as soon as it was there, it was gone.
Chill, Jasper. You're just tired and over worked. You saw nothing.
"Then you won't mind calling me Dr. Hale, not Jasper," I retorted. I could play the game just as well as she could. "Now where were we?"
We continued our Wednesday afternoon session much like any other session I'd had with her the past few weeks. I did most of the talking, which wasn't much, and she refused to tell me anything. As much as she loved to try to scare me, she would not tell me any specifics about her "vampirism" or how she came to believe all of it was true. I'd had enough of the routine so I decided to end this session with a little incentive. Something that I knew she would want and I hoped it would be enough to coax her in to divulging at least a little information during our next session.
"Miss Swan, I realize you don't trust me –"
"You're damn right I don't trust you. Why would I?" Bella scoffed. "You're just as crazy as you believe I am. Why don't you tell me about your dreams, Jasper?"
My entire body tensed. How the hell would she know about my dreams? I thought as I quickly worked to compose my features. I ran a hand through my wavy blonde hair and sighed.
"We're not here to talk about me," I insisted and looked her straight in the eyes. "Here's the deal. If you will actually put forth an effort in your next three sessions, I will recommend that they remove you from solitary and give you some of your privileges back." As much as she didn't want me to know it, I knew I had her. "If you continue to show progress, we will reinstate your visitation and see what else we can do for you. That is my offer. If you don't take it, you will continue to have nothing and I will no longer treat you, which means that you will probably be moved to a different facility."
"So you're bribing me," she said, mischief dancing in her dark brown eyes. I didn't say anything. I just waited for her response. "You're a naughty one, Jas-, I mean Dr. Hale. I kinda like it." She ran her tongue slowly along her full top lip, keeping her eyes glued to mine.
"I am not bribing you, Miss Swan. I am only giving you something to work for."
"I know something I'd like to work for," she said softly as she rose from her chair. She attempted to shuffle forward but it was proving to be difficult with her ankles shackled together. They didn't leave much slack for her, but I didn't blame them. She was violent and a danger to all those around her, including me.
Bella reached the other side of my desk and leaned forward. Her face was positioned just inches away from mine and she bit her bottom lip. For a moment, she had the look of a sensual and completely sane woman.
"I'll tell you everything you want to know, if you'll fuck me." She leaned in and brushed her lips against mine.
I quickly stood and moved away from her, outraged. She apparently found that amusing and proceeded to giggle like a school girl.
"That is ridiculous!" I nearly yelled at her. "I've given you my terms. If you don't want to abide by them, fine but I will never touch you." I pushed the button to signal the guards to come in and take Bella back to her cell in solitary and watched as they hauled her out, the sound of her laughter echoed all the way down the hall.
"Follow me," Alice said and then skipped ahead of me. The trail in the woods was getting narrow and I was afraid we would soon be entering a part of these woods that wasn't meant to be entered.
"Alice, wait!" I called after her. "Maybe we should go back."
"What's the matter, Jasper? Are you chicken?" She laughed and then imitated the sound of a chicken clucking. I could no longer see her as a very thick cloud of fog descended that made the sound of her voice seem eerie and even a little menacing.
"No. I'm not scared, Alice, I just don't want to get lost." I squinted to try to see her through the fog. "Alice!" I couldn't see anything in front of me. I called her name again but there was still no response. "This isn't funny, dammit!"
I started to run blindly through the fog continuing to call for Alice. I couldn't see a damn thing and my boot caught on a fallen branch or something and I came crashing to the ground. I cried out as I felt my knee twist and pop. I was pulling my jeans up to try and get a better look at the injured knee when I heard it.
A low growl sounded right next to me. It couldn't have been more than just a few feet away but I had no way of knowing due to the density of the fog. I stayed very still as I heard whatever had made that growling sound move. I held my breath as I realized the shuffling sound was getting closer, not further away. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and almost jumped when I felt cool breath wash over my face.
"Jasper," a female voice sang. It was coming from right in front of me and it sounded like…
"Alice?" I opened my eyes and saw her. Alice's usually friendly face was transformed in to one of a hunter who had just captured her prey. She hissed at me and bared her teeth.
"You look good enough to eat," she said. "And I'm starving." With that she swiftly grabbed me by my hair and jerked my head to the side, exposing and almost breaking my neck. Before I had a chance to respond or fight back, I felt her teeth sink in to my throat. I groaned and tried to push her off of me but she was inhumanly strong. My efforts were wasted as I felt the life slipping out of me.
I was powerless.
I was dying.
And there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I sat straight up in bed, covered in sweat. Apparently I hadn't been just fighting in my dream.
I threw the covers off and made my way to the bathroom bumping in to everything between my bed and the door. Once inside, I flipped on the light and looked at myself in the mirror. As I stared at my reflection, I couldn't resist the urge to look at my neck. I was surprised to find a bruise right where Alice had bit me in my dream. Upon further inspection, I saw no teeth marks so I decided to wash my face, get myself a stout drink and then try to go back to sleep.
After retrieving some whiskey from the cabinet and pouring myself a generous portion in a glass, I sat at my kitchen table and decided to text Alice.
Alice Cullen was my best friend and Carlisle's niece. We'd known each other since high school and for some reason she was always the star of my horrifying dreams. They'd begun three months ago and were getting more and more frequent as time passed. I'd told Alice about them and she just laughed them off but I knew even she wouldn't be able to deny it was weird that I had a bruise on the exact spot she'd bit me in the dream.
Hey, please tell me you're still up. – Jazz
I took another sip of the whiskey as I waited for her to respond. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long.
Yep I'm up! What's going on? Have another dream? – Alice
Yes and this time, shit got weird. – Jazz
When does shit not get weird in your dreams? Lol! What happened? – Alice
Very funny. Well I have a bruise on my neck in the exact spot you bit me in the dream. – Jazz
Really? Can you send me a picture of it? – Alice
I took a picture of it and sent it to her. I downed the rest of the whiskey and rinsed the glass out. My phone buzzed.
There's no teeth marks genius. – Alice
Fuck you, Alice. You don't think it's just a little strange? – Jazz
Fuck you, Jazz! No I don't. It's probably a hickie. – Alice
I need you to be serious for just a minute ok? – Jazz
It's 3:30 in the morning, Jazz. I'm incapable of being serious right now. – Alice
Ok. I'll let you get some sleep. Lunch tomorrow? – Jazz
I'll be there with fangs, I mean bells on! – Alice
You're fucking hilarious. – Jazz
I try. See you tomorrow. Well later today. Xoxo – Alice
I placed my phone back on the counter and went back to bed. The whiskey had relaxed me enough that I was able to slip in to a dreamless sleep.
The next morning I had a meeting with Carlisle about Bella's treatment. I informed him of the deal I made with her and he didn't approve but said he trusted me and to keep him updated.
I met Alice for lunch at a little café we both loved and it didn't take long for the conversation to turn to last night's dream.
"I don't get it, Jazz. You don't think it's just a coincidence?" Alice asked as she shoved a fork-full of salad in to her mouth.
"I don't know what to think, Alice." I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "Do you remember me telling you about that new patient I have?"
"The vampire girl? What's her name?"
"Bella," I reminded her.
"Right. So what about her?" she asked.
"Well yesterday she said something really weird. She asked me about my dreams. Alice, how could she know about my dreams?" I watched as her face betrayed just a hint of worry but she soon composed herself and smiled.
"Listen, she's certifiable, right? She's just saying that shit to get to you. There's no way she knows about your dreams; that much I can be sure of."
"How can you be sure?" I challenged her. She just shrugged and smiled at me reassuringly which bugged the hell out of me. I decided I'd tell her everything, including what I thought I'd seen in Bella's eyes. "There's something else."
She sighed. "What now?"
"You know what? Never mind." I knew she would just say that I was crazy and I really didn't feel like dealing with that shit. To be honest, I didn't feel like doing anything at all.
Alice reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "I'm sorry, Jazz. I didn't mean to be a bitch. I just think you're getting worked up over nothing. You're just tired." She smiled really wide and then said, "You should get Uncle Carlisle to write you a prescription for sleeping pills. He wrote me one and when I take it, I'm out for the entire night and the best part? No dreams."
"Maybe," I mumbled.
"Seriously, Jasper. You look like hell. You need a good night's rest. Do you have a session with vampire girl today?"
"No, I have a session with Bella today," I corrected her.
She waved her hand in an attempt to dismiss my correction.
"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "Lunch is on me and do me a favor. Go home and relax tonight, ok? Go to bed early. Drink yourself in to a stupor. At least then you won't dream."
I simply nodded and then we finished our lunch in relative silence.
"Welcome back, Miss Swan," I said as cheerfully as I could manage. I was trying not to show her that I was the least bit freaked out by her proposal or prediction from the previous day.
"Tired Dr. Hale?" she asked amusement all over her face.
"I'm fine, Miss Swan. Thank you for asking." I smiled but was secretly disturbed and intrigued as to how or if she knew about last night's horror.
"You have a sexy smile Dr. Hale." She leaned forward and stared directly in to my eyes.
"We are not discussing that again," I said firmly. I sat back in my chair to put some distance between us and took a deep breath. "Did you think about my offer?"
"You mean your bribe?" She sat back and rested her hands in her lap and picked at her cuticles.
"My offer. Did you decide?"
"Yes, I decided." Bella was looking down and when she looked back up, I saw it again.
Her eyes are red!
I gasped quietly but not quietly enough.
"Dr. Hale?" she asked and for a second she looked like she was genuinely worried about me. That notion was thrown out the window the second she started laughing.
She threw her head back and laughed cruelly. I tried getting her attention. I tried asking her to stop. The laughter was like nails on a chalk board. I couldn't take it.
Without thinking, I stood up from my desk walked around it, and got right in her face.
"Fucking stop!" I yelled and she did. She stopped, reached up and pulled my face to hers, crushing her lips to mine. It took me a second but I finally returned her kiss. I don't know why I did…
Our lips moved together at first but then she took my bottom lip between her teeth and bit down hard. I pushed her away from me and watched her lick the blood from her teeth. For some reason, it really turned me on. I licked my own lip, sampling the salty and a bit rusty taste of my own blood. When I looked at her again her eyes were in fact red. They were very red.
I wasn't frightened though. All I wanted was for her to bite me again.
I leaned in and kissed her again, her soft, full lips felt like heaven against mine.
"Seems like you reconsidered my offer, Jasper," Bella whispered against my lips. She slid her hand down my stomach slowly until she reached my dick. She palmed it through my black dress pants and I moaned.
"I can't…I can't do this Bella. This is wrong."
"Do you wanna know why you're having those dreams about Alice?" she asked.
My eyes fluttered open and a look of pure astonishment took over my face. "How do you…?"
"I know everything about you, Jasper. But if you want to know why, you know what you have to do." Her eyes got darker as she squeezed me gently.
"Bella…" I breathed. "You know I can't do this."
She didn't say another word as she slipped her hand in to my pants and then in to my boxers, grabbing hold of my dick and stroking gently.
I couldn't stop the moans that escaped my lips. I knew what I was doing was wrong and I just didn't care. It felt too good to stop.
I dug my fingers in to her hair and jerked her head back. I began kissing under her chin and continued kissing down to her collar bone where I gingerly bit her.
"Fuck me, Jasper. Fuck me and I'll tell you everything," Bella moaned.
I pulled her hospital-issued pants down to her shackle-clad ankles. She lifted her legs up so I could slip under and between them. We made short work of the button and zipper on my pants and released my growing cock. I growled and ripped her panties from her hips and threw them in the floor. She wrapped her legs around my waist and, without hesitation; I plunged hard and deep inside her.
I grabbed her hips and pulled her towards me as I drove in to her. She cried out and dug her nails in to my back. As she drug them slowly down, I felt the flesh tearing and the blood start to trickle down my back. I looked at her just as she brought her nails to her lips and licked the blood from them.
I continued to thrust in to her over and over, harder and harder. This was fucking. This was animalistic. And it felt…right. It wasn't long before she came and soon after I found my own release.
I pulled out and started to untangle myself from her but she squeezed her legs so tightly around my waist I literally couldn't move. My ribs began to break as she squeezed tighter.
I cried out in pain and tried to control my breathing. If I couldn't calm down, I was going to black out.
"Bella, what –"
She moved so quickly I didn't have time to react. Her teeth ripped in to my throat and blood poured down my chest and shoulder. I was quickly becoming too weak to move but it wouldn't have mattered anyway. She was too strong. She possessed the strength of something not human; something other-worldly.
I surrendered to her completely and as my blood was being drained from my body, I actually found it a little funny. I think I even laughed to myself as I slipped in to unconsciousness.
"Jasper what are you doing? Have you lost your mind?" Bella shrieked. Her face was twisted in to a mixture of fear and fury.
"Don't lie to me, Bella! How many times? How many times have you fucked him in our bed?" I gripped the knife tightly in my hand.
"I'm not lying, Jasper, I swear!" Her eyes darted between me and the weapon I held. "What are you going to do? You really think you can kill me?"
I felt the anger building. It was like a fire that ignited all over my body. I knew she was lying about fucking that ignorant prick, Edward Masen. I could see it in her eyes. She had betrayed me and I couldn't excuse or forgive that but I sure as hell wasn't going to let that son of a bitch have her either.
"You don't think I could?" I snarled. Pushing her against the wall, I held the knife to her throat.
Tears spilled from Bella's eyes and down her cheeks. A single tear drop fell from her chin and landed on my hand. I released my hold on her slightly as my resolve wavered.
"Jasper, baby please. Don't hurt me," she sobbed. I took a step back and pulled the knife completely away from her throat.
"Bella…" I turned away from her.
"Baby, you need help. Let me help you."
"No one can help me," I said and turned to face her. I lifted the knife and drug it across her throat. The blood fell like a water fountain, staining her clothes and running all the way down to her bare feet. Tears rolled down her face as she choked on her own blood. She slid down the wall slowly, finally collapsing on the cold tile floor of the kitchen we used to dance in. The kitchen she baked in. The kitchen we'd made love in.
I watched as the light left her eyes and was surprised at how calm I was. Blood was still trickling down and some of it made its way in to her eyes, staining them red. I cocked my head to the side, examining my work and then laid down on the floor beside her.
The puddle of her blood was still growing bigger and bigger. It finally made its way completely to me, soaking my blonde hair and white t shirt. For some reason unknown to me, I turned my head to the side and began to drink Bella's blood. I drank until I couldn't drink anymore.
And that's how they found me: lying next to my dead girlfriend of three years, blood all over my face, clothes, and body.
"Carlisle, should he still be unconscious?" Alice asked. She sounded concerned.
"I'm sure he's fine, Alice," Carlisle answered, trying to sound confident but I could hear an edge of worry.
I'm not fine! Do you not see all the blood? Where's Bella?
"But we've never tried this treatment before. What if we've lost him? What if he'll never be able to accept reality?"
Treatment? I was confused and frightened. Why couldn't I open my eyes? I felt like my eye lids were sown shut.
And what was Alice talking about? Lose me? What reality was I not accepting? I desperately tried to move but it was like I was trapped inside my body. I could hear and feel but I couldn't move, speak, or see.
While I was trying to process just what the hell was going on, something occurred to me…
The dreams! What if they had been visions? They'd been so vivid that I never really was able to tell if they were actually happening or not. And then there was Isabella Swan…
Bella…my sweet Bella…
What was happening? Memories began to flood my mind: Bella in an apron humming while she was making cupcakes, Bella's smile when I told her I loved her for the first time, and her naked form illuminated in the candle light of our bedroom. She'd been so beautiful.
Were the dreams or visions my subconscious mind trying to make me remember what I so desperately tried to forget? Was my world a delusion? If so, what was reality?
What have I done?
That's when it hit me. I wasn't Dr. Hale. I was Jasper Hale; supposed vampire, paranoid schizophrenic, murderer. I had been admitted three months ago after slitting the throat, draining, and drinking the blood of my girlfriend, Isabella Swan.
Alice Cullen was my doctor; the third one to treat me here at my new home, Danvers State Hospital for the Criminally Insane.
I was criminally insane.
So…? Please review and let me know what you think! For those of you that read it before, I made a few changes to the end. I hope you all enjoy it.