Aaaaaand, my lovely readers, here is yet another NaLu songfic based off of a Skillet song. The song is Comatose and it is marvelous and I wish I owned it but alas, I do not.
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this. I had fun writing it. Though it is kind of depressing that it's longer than most chapters for my longer stories...haha. And I feel like I might have gotten a little rushed at the end, so if I did, sorry! I wanted to get it done 'cause I've been working on it for two weeks now. Haha XD
Again, I hope you enjoy it! I don't own the song (Skillet) and the characters are the lovely creations of Hiro Mashima.
Natsu Dragneel was confused. Anyone who knew him very well knew that he hated to be confused almost as much as he hated it when someone tried to attack his nakama. And no one knew what to say to him, because they didn't really know what his problem was and he decided that this was really a situation he needed to work out on his own anyway. It was just so hard, since he didn't even have his thoughts in order yet and he was finding that task rather daunting. Especially since Lucy Heartfilia kept asking him if he was all right and he just got even more confused and flustered when she was around him.
And it didn't help that Lucy was in all of the thoughts he had to try to organize.
Lucy was his precious nakama. That was the first thing he thought about as he secluded himself in order to get some thinking done. There had never been any doubt about that fact. Ever since he'd rescued her from that bastard who pretended to be him and brought her to Fairy Tail, he'd felt almost responsible for her and she'd become one of his best friends practically overnight. She was an irreplaceable part of his family. And the second thing that Natsu had to think about was the fact that he had always been there to save her, or strove to save her, when she was in trouble and that he would always, always be there in the future. He couldn't live with himself if he let something happen to her. She was that important to him. Just as important as Happy and Igneel were, if not just a little more. What else was there? She was his partner, like Happy was. They went on practically all their missions together, and most of the time Erza and Gray came along and lately so did Wendy, Charle, and Juvia. But Lucy was the one he would always stand beside. He knew the others could take care of themselves, and if Wendy was in danger he knew Charle could get her to safety. But Lucy? Sometimes Natsu worried about her. She was strong enough to take care of herself most of the time, but she doubted herself so much that it worried him to leave her alone. He cared about her and didn't want her to get hurt.
And then there was everything else about her. From the way she yelled at him to the way she took so much time on her hair and clothes to the way that he wanted her to just cover up some more because he didn't like how some of the others looked at her. She wasn't just a piece of meat to him like she was to almost every other male in the world (though he had to admit that his Lucy was absolutely gorgeous). So he was, perhaps, a bit overprotective of her, but again…he didn't want to see her hurting. But Luce…she was so much more than all of that, and he knew it. Just what was it about her that had him going crazy?
You liiiiike her.
There was Happy's tone in the back of his mind, taunting him. It was always there, always in the back of his thoughts, always waiting to come to the surface and tease him some more. He wasn't mad at Happy for getting the thought stuck there, but sometimes he wished the voice would stop echoing in his head.
Especially when he was trying to stay in denial.
Natsu ran a hand through his hair, sighing as he looked out across the ocean, towards Tenrou Island. Was it when they were fighting as a team against that Grimoire Heart guy that he finally realized it? And she had been sobrave. He was trapped, he hadn't even thought of using his powers to get him out yet, and that damn bastard was going to crush her skull with his bare hand…and she didn't show her fear. Was that when he'd realized he was falling for her? Or when she bravely faced Hades with he and Erza and Gray and Wendy? When she rescued his scarf because she knew how much it meant to him since it was a gift from Igneel?
Did Luce have any clue just what she did to him?
Frustrated, the dragonslayer ran a hand through his salmon hair again, replaying his thoughts in his mind.
He'd known for a while that he already had it pretty bad for her, but he shoved the thoughts aside for the longest time. Natsu seemed oblivious sometimes, but the truth of the matter was that he didn't want to complicate things. Everything was great between them. He loved their closeness, their camaraderie, and he wanted to be able to stay this close to her. And he wasn't so sure of himself as a possible romantic interest to her, so he didn't want to say anything. What they had was purely them, and he didn't want to possibly screw it all up just because he'd already screwed up in the biggest way by falling for her in the first place. You weren't supposed to fall for your best friend because it made things so confusing…but it was too late for Natsu and he knew it. He hated himself, but there really wasn't anyone else he could see himself falling for. He and Lisanna had seemed a sure thing, but that was in the past and it seemed she'd moved on and so had he.
But damn it all, he was just going to screw things up even worse between he and Luce, wasn't he?
The darkness outside taunted Natsu just as much as Happy's voice in his mind. Rolling around and trying to get comfortable just didn't help. His dream had been so good, and so pleasant, but it was with Lucy and ordinarily that wouldn't be a bad thing…but considering they were in each other's arms and seconds away from kissing when he jerked awake…it wasn't right. Well, it was in his mind, but what would Lucy do if she knew he wanted to hold her like that?
He heaved a sigh, flopping onto his back and staring listlessly up at his ceiling. Normally he would be at her house, anyway, instead of at his own. He'd be sneaking into her bed and sleeping there and in the morning he'd wake up to find that she'd just accepted the fact that he'd been asleep in her bed when she'd come out of her bath and just crawled in with him. Every time he saw that it had warmed his heart, because didn't that hint that she might care for him in the same way that he cared for her? But he quickly dismissed those thoughts and, for the last week and a half he'd tried to distance himself from her just a little. He hadn't crept into her house while she was in the bathroom at all…but she was curious as to why. Then she was concerned that something was wrong with him.
And something was wrong with him.
He couldn't hide it anymore.
What was he going to do with himself? He wanted nothing more than to go sneak into her warm bed this very minute and snuggle against her and sleep without a care in the world and then wake up to her beautiful, angelic face in the morning, and each morning after that. He wanted to hold her in his arms, pull her tight against his chest, and then just kiss her until they needed to pull apart to breathe and then do it again. But he had to stop. He had to stop thinking that way because it would only hurt their friendship if he didn't. Natsu liked being as close to Lucy as he was and even if he wanted to be closer, so much closer, he'd restrain himself.
But it was so damn hard to fight it and he was getting tired of it.
"Natsu!" Lucy said to him the next morning at the guild, peering anxiously into his face. "Are you all right?"
He made a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat and just as he had expected, and dreaded, it didn't satisfy the blonde. Her hands were soon propped on her hip as she looked sternly down at him. Her stern façade soon broke, however, and she bit her lip almost shyly and damn it, didn't she know what that did to him?
"You know you can tell me, right?" she asked softly, looking down at him with concerned eyes. He hated to worry her, but he couldn't tell her that he was trying not to fall any harder for her because then what would happen? But he listened when she said, "Whatever it is, you don't have to face it alone. You should know that, Natsu, because you're the one who taught me that. I promise I won't interrupt you if you tell me…"
"It's fine, Luce," Natsu cut her off gently. He couldn't take anymore of her sweet voice with such a worried tone, all because of him. He hated what he was doing to her, and what it was doing to him, but he didn't want complications in their friendship. He didn't want to be the cause of it all. "I just have to think a little more, 'kay?"
She furrowed her brow in a pouting sort of look that made her so damn adorable that he had to look down at the tabletop in front of him but after what seemed like forever she straightened and said, "All right. But still…I'm here if you need someone to talk to."
Natsu watched out of the corner of his eye as she made her way over to the bar to sit beside Levy. He let a sigh pass his lips. He knew the signs and he knew that he was just going to keep getting worse because it was pretty close to impossible to ignore feelings like this. He'd seen it between so many of the guild members he'd grown up with already, most notably between Cana and Laxus, of all people. But he and Lucy were different. They were best friends and partners (he forced the thought of Alzack and Bisca out of his mind–the fact that they had been partners and ended up married had no effect on he and Lucy, none whatsoever) and he didn't ever want that to come to an end.
But if he were to tell her…she would listen, wouldn't she?
Damn it, Natsu! He scolded himself internally.
He thought he was having Lucy Withdrawals. It had been two weeks since he'd let himself sneak into her house and into her bed or even let himself touch her in any way whatsoever. It was so annoying that he couldn't do anything without remembering when he and Lucy did the exact same thing, or the way their hands had brushed and how his heart rate had sped up at the contact. He was losing it. His mind, his heart. All because of her. But he didn't blame her. How could he? It wasn't her fault that she was so alluring and attractive and desirable.
It was just the simple fact that she was all of those things, and more.
Natsu felt like the bottom of his stomach had dropped out when he heard that Lucy had gone off on a job request with Levy, Jet, Droy, Gajeel, and Pantherlily without even telling him. She had left him a note with Mirajane and he read it three or four times to calm his racing heart.
It kind of seems like you've been avoiding me, so I accepted when Levy-chan asked if I wanted to go along. We shouldn't take too long, so I hope that you've figured out your problem when we get back! I don't blame you for keeping your distance, though. I promise. I figured that it's just your way of finding privacy so you can think things through. So don't be so gloomy when we get back, okay?
See you then!
The dragonslayer breathed deeply a few times. He closed his eyes and tucked the paper into a hidden pocket in his vest and looked up through the leafy foliage above him. He'd run out into the forest behind his house after leaving the guild, unable to cope with the air in there and his thoughts all at the same time. He was a wreck with or without her, he realized, and even more so when she was gone. Just to think about the possibility that a stronger enemy than they expected to face was going to be against them made Natsu's skin crawl. Not that Gajeel and Levy and Jet and Droy and Lily were weak, by any means, and Lucy wasn't either…but still.
He'd feel better about the whole situation if he was there to protect her.
Instead he was here, in the forest, who knows how far away from where she was, brooding about it. But there was nothing he could do now but pray she'd come back safely because she'd undoubtedly be mad if he came after her now. And then he'd have to do something about this, because he couldn't take this anymore. Avoiding her wasn't working because it was just pulling her away from him and he had liked what they had, even just as friends. And how loathsome the term friends seemed in his mind when he wanted so much more…but he would deal with it.
Natsu knew he was stubborn, foolishly so, but he didn't want her to hate him for falling for her.
The fire dragonslayer was kind of listless, lazing around at his home in kind of a daze for the next few hours. He was even more confused now than he had been two weeks ago. He had to tell her, or do something about it…but he wouldn't let himself confess. And that was the root of his current dilemma. It had him all out-of-sorts and it was driving him crazy. He hated to be confused, but he hated this whole thing more than that.
Lucy was everything to him. He couldn't keep going without her, without being close to her, yet he was trying to.
There were a few trees whose trunks were splintered somewhere behind his house, and a few trees knocked completely over. Natsu stood, panting, chest heaving and knuckles bleeding as he tried to just forget the things that he knew he'd never forget. He was so consumed in his brooding that Happy had taken one look and flown off to the guild to spend the day with Lisanna. Natsu was scary when he was like that.
Happy just wanted Lucy to be back already so Natsu would calm down.
Natsu wanted her to be back, too. More than anything else right now.
It had never been so hard for Natsu to accept the truth than it was in these few hours. He knew he'd fallen for her, knew it with every fiber of his being, but he was too stubborn to tell her. In those hours he spent punching trees to vent his frustrations, he'd come to accept a few more truths. The first was that these feelings were never, ever going to go away and that it was utterly futile to try to drive them out. The second was that he didn't mind that he fell for her and that, in fact, he'd prefer it was her over anyone else because she understood him and where he came from and took him as he was. His problems and insecurities meant little to her; he was her rock in hard times and he'd grown into that role marvelously well. And the third thing he had forced himself to accept was that things couldn't go on like this.
No matter how much he wanted to keep it quiet to avoid complications…he couldn't. Not anymore. He'd have to tell her. He'd have to potentially jeopardize everything they'd built up for the last two years, all the closeness that he adored, just so he didn't go insane or even scare her off because he wouldn't be able to stand it if she was scared of him. In his heart there was joy, because he was finally going to find a way to tell her what he should have told her a long time ago, but in his head there was turmoil. The friendship they'd built up was sure to be effectively shattered by his feelings for her and he knew he'd screwed up big time.
Practically the biggest unwritten rule of friendship was to never fall for your best friend, but he'd pulverized that barrier and now he just wanted to go back.
But then again, he never wanted to change any of this.
Natsu opened his eyes, finding himself staring blankly at the ceiling. He let his eyes flutter closed again and sighed. He lifted a hand and dropped it to his face, distressed and a little angry with himself. When he'd finally been able to snatch a few hours of sleep his dreams had to torture him, showing him various ways that his Lucy could be in peril or even…
"No," Natsu hissed to himself, shaking his head and rubbing his face. "She's fine. She's with Gajeel," this was said grudgingly, "and I'm sure he knows that I'll kill him if anything happens to her. It will all be fine, Natsu…"
He was never a huge fan of talking to himself, but he needed it right now. Happy had dropped by earlier to say he was staying with Lisanna and although he didn't say why, Natsu knew it was because he'd been scared. The salmon-haired man knew he'd lost his temper just a little, but it was more out of anger at himself than at anyone else. He definitely wasn't mad at Luce for leaving, because she'd been right. Natsu had been avoiding her just a little and he hadn't been very good company with all of his brooding. He knew that. But it still frustrated him to be so far away from her for any length of time.
All this thinking, this confusion, made his head hurt.
He never wanted to tell her that he'd been falling for her in the beginning, because he thought he could just ignore it…but now? He knew he couldn't fight it. Natsu's feelings just kept getting stronger and stronger and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it but risk everything. The thing was that he wasn't ready to risk it all.
But he had to. And soon.
"I hate this," Natsu growled to himself, laying facedown on his bed and trying to drive the bloody, gruesome images of his last dream out of his mind. And he did hate all of this. The confusion, the dreams, the whole being-without-Lucy-for-who-knows-how-long thing. He wanted her to be back, and now, because she was his everything. It had taken him long enough to accept the fact, but he still was trying to see a way out of saying it out loud.
There wasn't anything he could do, he realized, but tell her. Avoiding her made her think she'd done something wrong when she hadn't (because it wasn't her fault he'd fallen for her, after all). Natsu didn't want her to think like that, so it was only natural that he tell her the reason why he'd been keeping away. But…it still felt so wrong. Well, it felt so right to him, because he could finally get it off his chest and tell her everything…but it was wrong because, like he'd told himself thousands of times, they were best friends. And he'd told himself, over and over again, that best friends didn't fall for each other.
No matter how many times he told himself that, a little part in the back of his mind kept reminding him of Alzack and Bisca. And the fact that they were married. And were parents. And that little part kept asking, 'why can't Luce and I be like that, too?'
For about the sixth time in the two nights since Lucy had been gone, Natsu jerked awake, breathing heavily and cursing his dreams. He really was a wreck right now, and it was her fault. Well, not really, but at the moment his groggy, fear-stricken mind thought that the girl was a good person to place the blame on. He shook himself awake more fully, sitting up in bed and realizing that his body was covered in a cold sweat. He heaved a sigh, stretching his arms. He felt the muscles in his back bunching up as he did so and for a few seconds it hurt, like muscles always do after someone's been asleep for a few hours.
You should go after her.
"No," Natsu answered his inner voice aloud, running his hand uncharacteristically through his hair for what seemed like the hundredth time since he'd started battling with these feelings.
What if she needs you?
"She's fine," Natsu told himself firmly, "she's got Levy and Jet and Droy and Gajeel and Lily. They'll keep her safe. And she can take care of herself. She's fine."
No matter what he told himself, the little voices in the back of his mind were either demanding him to go after her and drag her back even if their job wasn't done, or begging him to at least go find her to be with her in case something bad happened, but he shook it off. It was so tempting, the idea of going to find her, but he had to stay away for now. She'd be back soon, and he could talk to her then, but for now he had to focus on figuring out just what he needed to say. He'd finally acknowledged the fact that he needed to tell her something of what he felt, and even if it had his mind in a jumbled-up mess he knew it's what he needed to do. His heart was the one making that decision and he needed to go along with it this time.
Natsu heaved another sigh anyway. He didn't want to have to tell her about it but he needed to. It just wasn't something he could avoid anymore. She had such a strong effect on him when she was next to him but it seemed amplified when she was gone.
The worst he could do was jeopardize their friendship.
The best he could do was make it to where she'd never leave his side again.
The odds didn't seem to be in his favor, but the possible pros of telling her had definitely begun to outweigh the cons.
Natsu glanced at his wall of memories. There was Lucy's maid outfit, and there was even a picture of her he'd secretly asked Reedus to draw. She was chewing on the end of her pen, trying to write her story even as Gray was flying through the air behind her. How Reedus managed to catch that moment, Natsu never knew, but he didn't really care. The way Lucy was so entranced with working on her novel, and how she nibbled thoughtfully on the end of her pen, were just a few of the things that made her irresistible to the dragonslayer. And his dreams showed him the whole spectrum of her attractive qualities that he wouldn't consciously let himself think about.
He wanted her, as more than just his friend. And it was quickly crossing into need. He needed her to be next to him, to be with him, or to tell him that she wasn't interested in him like that. It would hurt if she did the latter, but he was trying to make himself able to accept that possibility. It seemed like the one that would happen, after all.
"Come back soon, Luce," he groaned, going to shower and get dressed before heading to the guild.
Mira smiled a little as Natsu dragged himself right up to the bar, slumping across her shining countertop listlessly. At her expression, the dragonslayer knew that she knew exactly why he was acting this way. After all, it was Mira, the self-proclaimed matchmaker of Fairy Tail, and she'd had he and Lucy together from the start. She'd tried several times to get them together, even pulling a Happy and telling Natsu that he liiiiiked her.
And now that he thought of that, Happy's voice and Mira's voice were both taunting him in the back of his mind. He knew he liked her now, damn it, and he didn't need those voices to remind him. What he needed was Luce. His Lucy.
"We're back, everyone!"
Natsu sat up like he'd been struck by lightning, turning around on his barstool so fast that he nearly fell off of it. He saw his blonde celestial mage standing proudly at the door, just as gorgeous as ever and practicallyglowing with pride. She had her hand on her hip and she looked fine. She'd taken the time to do her hair, and her clothes were all freshened up, and–where the hell did those bandages come from?
"Lu-chan!" Levy complained, "Don't move so much! You need to have Wendy or Mira or someone look at your ribs–"
"I'm fine, Levy-chan!" Luce waved it off, laughing. If he didn't know better he'd say that she wasn't affected at all, but to Natsu it sounded as if she was hiding pain with laughter. "It's just a few cracked ribs. We've all been through worse than that, haven't we?"
"Well, if you hadn't have gone ahead you wouldn't be hurt so bad!" Levy whined. "So please let Wendy look at it!"
"Hm? Oh, hi, Natsu!" the blonde grinned cheerfully at him. "Look! I brought you something–"
"Mira?" Natsu said, his eyes dark as he looked at his favorite blonde rummaging through her bag, "Why don't you and Wendy come to the infirmary?"
Mira was about to ask him why but didn't need to when he swept the blonde into his arms (gently, of course) and headed toward the back room that doubled as the guild's infirmary. Levy let out an 'oh!' of surprise as Mira silently squealed and danced around in a circle. Natsu had come back to himself, it seemed, just by the mere reappearance of Lucy in their lives. And it seemed he was ready to make some sort of commitment to her, or to his feelings for her, so the white-haired woman was absolutely ecstatic.
"Finally," Gajeel remarked to the guild at large, and laughter rang out after a pause as Mira and Wendy made their way to the infirmary a little after the door had closed again.
Natsu, in the meantime, was ignoring Lucy's protests and struggling and took her right to a bed, sitting her gingerly on the edge.
"What do you think you're doing, Natsu?" she cried, trying to stand. She was blocked by Natsu hovering over her, frowning. "What's that look for? It's nothing, okay?"
"You're hurt, Luce," he said, and his eyes took on a softer look. "Let Wendy look at it and heal it for you, okay?"
"It's really nothing," she said, avoiding his fierce but soft gaze. He noticed her cheeks heating up and reached up to feel her forehead. She squeaked, backing up a little. "I said it was nothing, Natsu! I'll be fine, okay? I'll let Wendy heal it! Just…don't worry, okay?"
He felt like an asshole. Here she was, telling him not to worry when he'd made her worry for the last few weeks because he'd been brooding and unsociable. She was telling him not to worry when she probably had a few cracked ribs. He wanted to laugh at the irony. Didn't she know what she was doing to him? Well, even if she didn't she'd know soon enough.
"Don't worry?" he laughed a little then, dryly. "I haven't stopped worrying since you left."
He stood up, looking away a little as he heard the doorknob turn. "Later, Luce. We'll talk about it later. Right now you've got to get better, okay?"
"Y-yeah," she looked down at her hands as Wendy ran up to her, scolding her about walking with broken ribs and telling her that she might have made it worse. Natsu stepped back to stand by Mirajane, trying to calm himself down. He now knew without a doubt that he had it bad for her.
You're just lying to yourself, he scolded himself in his mind. And then he said softly, just loud enough that Mira heard, because he had to tell someone, "I think I'm in love with her."
"I could have told you that," Mira laughed a little, patting Natsu on the shoulder. "The only one who doesn't believe it is Lucy. I guess you'll have to tell her yourself."
"Yeah." Natsu sighed, letting his eyes wander back to the blonde as Wendy made her lay down.
"You'd better tell her soon, Natsu, or you might lose her."
"I know. That's what I've been thinking about for the last few weeks."
It was the most he'd ever said aloud on the subject, and he was proud of himself. Then he raised his voice to address the blonde, "Luce, next time wait for me before you go on a job!"
The celestial mage in question laughed a little, wincing as the small air dragonslayer scolded her.
"I'll keep that in mind, Natsu!"
"Natsu, I'm fine!" Lucy laughed, waving him off as she balanced on the ledge of the canal on their way to her house. "Wendy healed me up just fine. And I'm not all that clumsy."
"Yes you are," Natsu rolled his eyes as he grabbed her arm before she really could topple over into the water. She just laughed at it and steadied herself using his arm. "Really, Luce, sometimes I worry about you."
I love you.
Of course he worried about her. He was freaking head over heals in love with her, and he was just realizing that little tidbit. Well, he'd been realizing it for the last two weeks, but it still added up to the same thing, right? He was a bit protective of her now that she was finally back, though. Natsu knew it might be kind of smothering, but she was only acting happy and he wanted to know why. Was it because of him? Since he'd been avoiding her before she left? But he'd only been avoiding her so he could think about her…would she understand that?
I love you, Luce!
He cursed himself silently.
"I'm a big girl," she finally answered after beginning to walk again. "I can take care of myself most of the time."
"Yeah," Natsu agreed, watching her to make sure she didn't stumble again. "I know that. It's just…"
I can't help but worry about you.
He didn't add that, though. He thought it was too soon to say something sappy like that. Especially since he hadn't even confessed to her, yet. But he needed to, he realized suddenly. He needed to tell her so badly that it was lurking in the back of his mind. The pink-haired man couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she was and how he just wanted to hold her in his arms and never let her go. But that wasn't the first time he'd thought that in the last few weeks and he still had enough control to refrain from it. For now.
Why did she have to be so beautiful?
He couldn't stop thinking about it now. Her smile was invading his thoughts and he could barely concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other now. Natsu's mind was muddled with thoughts of her, of his Lucy, and as much as he loved her and loved thinking about her, it was hard to deal with. Especially now.
He was pulled out of his thoughts by her voice.
She slowed to a halt on the ledge and slowly turned to look at him. He realized they were just a few feet away from her apartment building already but slowed to a halt in front of her. She was examining him, head to toe, with a calculating gaze.
"There's…something different about you, Natsu," she finally told him softly, averting her gaze. "I mean, you were avoiding me, and I know you had a good reason so I left, but then you seemed so relieved, and I just…I don't know. You've been so different today. It's…it's not bad, I guess, but I noticed. You know? If you…if you want to talk about it, or if you're ready to talk about it, I'm here for you. I already told you that, though. But…I'm still here, if you need someone to talk to."
She wasn't being as articulate as he was used to, and Natsu found it so damn cute.
Damn it, he needed to tell her. Now. Before he went mad from the stress.
"Luce…I'm sorry I was avoiding you. I didn't mean to."
"I-I know! I wasn't mad at you for it, or anything! Don't think I was–"
"Don't worry, weirdo," Natsu laughed a little, "I wasn't mad at you, either. I just…I had some thinking to do and it was a little easier without you around…"
She looked so crestfallen. He hated himself again.
"But I finally figured it out. It's complicated, and it's hard to even think about let alone talk about…but I need to talk to you about it. Do you…do you understand what I mean, Luce?"
"Do you want to come inside?" she cocked her head to the side and his heart beat faster. All of her little quirks…they just got to him in ways that were unimaginable until he'd actually felt them.
"I…I think we should talk here," Natsu said, unsure why until he added, "I don't want to go in just in case you kick me right back out."
She looked at him like he was insane, and he knew he wasn't making much sense yet. But she was so much more than he had realized, so much more beautiful, and smart, and caring and…he didn't know how his heart would handle rejection. He didn't want to think about it.
"What do you mean?" she asked, looking at Natsu strangely. He didn't know how Lucy could pull of looking so alluring when she was looking at him like he'd lost his marbles, but there you have it. He thought she looked absolutely breathtaking, no matter what she wore, so that look on her features still had the ability to make him temporarily speechless. Natsu took a deep breath and, for perhaps the first time since she'd come back, he met her eyes.
He lost his resolve then.
"Damn it," he growled, then pulled her forward, off of the ledge, and smothered her lips with his own, trying to convey just how much he needed her with just a simple touch.
When he realized what he was doing, he pulled back, looking down and apologizing softly.
"I'm sorry, Luce. I just…I love you. So much. I tried so hard to deny it at first, y'know? I tried to tell myself that it would screw everything up, and so I wouldn't tell you because you'd leave me and find another team and I'd be all alone again. But then it started to grow and I couldn't ignore it and so I started to think about it and I realized that it just wouldn't go away and…damn it, Lucy…I don't know what to do anymore!"
He knew he sounded distressed, because that's how he felt. He was lost, utterly lost, and he felt, with utter certainty, that he had just lost her, too. The most important person in his life would leave him just like Igneel had, and he'd be alone again. It was too much. He didn't want it to end like that. He didn't want her to push him away, even though he knew she would.
"I'm sorry, Luce…"
"Stop apologizing, you idiot!" she scolded him, and when he didn't look up he was surprised when she forced him to look up. "Natsu," she said when she had his attention. He was dreading what she was going to say until a huge smile broke out across her face and she finished, "Why didn't you just tell me sooner? Idiot!"
She slapped his shoulder and then grabbed Igneel's scarf and pulled herself up to his height. Her lips felt like heaven against his and he let himself wrap his arms around her waist, drawing her tightly against him. Her arms snaked around his neck and in her kiss he realized that she was trying to show him how much she needed him. And so he responded in the same way, kissing her fiercely in return.
When she ended her kiss, she told him softly, with a brilliant red blush cascading across her cheeks, "I love you, too, Natsu."
Relief filled him and he hugged her tightly, dropping a light kiss on her forehead. Sure, it wasn't something he'd ever pictured himself doing because it just seemed so cheesy…but he'd do it for his Lucy.
"I'll be your girlfriend if you'll be my boyfriend," she supplied, leaning back and smiling kind of embarrassedly up at him. Natsu let himself laugh, the happiest laugh he'd laughed in the last few weeks. She loved him too, so of course he was going to be happy. It felt as though all of his dreams had finally come true.
"Deal," he said, lifting her and spinning her in a circle. She laughed, nuzzling her face in his neck as he tucked his chin on top of her head.
"Let's go get some sleep," she finally said, pulling back and lacing her fingers with his. "I'm exhausted, and you look like you could use some rest, too."
Natsu let his childlike grin spread across his cheeks as his girlfriend, his Lucy, pulled him into her home.
She loved him back.
That was all that mattered.
Anyone who knew Natsu Dragneel, Salamander of Fairy Tail, knew that he hated to be confused almost more than anything. But when he woke up in the morning with Lucy snuggled right up against him and his arms around her, he didn't mind the momentary confusion. It didn't take him long to remember what had transpired the night before, or to remember the lovely dream he'd had with her in it.
The blonde began to stir in the circle of his arms and he placed another kiss on her forehead.
"Good morning, beautiful," he used an overused, cliché line that he'd been dying to say to her for weeks and weeks now. When she blinked and looked up at him, his earlier confusion temporarily mirrored in her eyes, a grin spread across his features. He wanted this to happen every morning for the rest of his life. He wanted to wake up with Lucy Heartfilia in his arms, golden hair splayed out in a halo on the pillow beneath their heads and a slow, sleepy smile beginning to ghost across her face.
"Morning," she replied, snuggling more tightly against him.
Natsu decided then that he didn't mind the confusion so much anymore. It had all led him to this moment, hadn't it? And if it had led him to this, then it was worth something. It wasn't so bad if it could bring he and the celestial mage he'd loved for he didn't know how long together.
Besides, there was plenty more confusion awaiting them at the guild that day, anyway.
This is for the lovely ShiningStellar. Mira, dear, your reviews are like, life. They make me laugh, and smile, and blush, and are just...amazing. And I believe you're the one who suggested I do aComatose songfic (although it is no longer a songfic, per se), and so...here it is.
I'd also like to give a shout-out to Senbei x Cup Ramen (I think it's Senbei who usually reviews) to thank you for constantly reading and reviewing my stories, too.
I know there are several of you guys who read and review all of my fics, but for now I'll point these two out, because they've been there and been supporting me since pretty close to the very beginning of my Fairy Tail fanfiction writing spree. THANK YOU GUYS. So much.
And I shall also mention litashe, because she is the most amazing little sister figure in the world and she deserves to be mentioned. Lit, I luv ya!
THANK YOU GUYS. Everyone who reads, but for the purpose of this, ShiningStellar, Senbei x Cup Ramen, and litashe.
Thank you for reading, and for those of you who review, thank you for that.