NARRATOR: Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince named Ronald Weasley lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman named Bathilda Bagshot came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, Ron sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away, but she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful Helena Ravenclaw. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous nerd, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the nerd, Harry concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his twenty-first year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a nerd for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair, and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast?

(We have seen a progression of stained glass windows illustrating the narration, as well as Harry shredding his portrait. The camera slowly zooms out from the castle and we see the title. Fade up on the home of Hermione. She exits the front door and begins her walk into Diagon Alley.)

**Start of Song: "Bonjour"**

Hermione: Little town, it's a quiet village

Every day, like the one before

Little town, full of little people

Waking up to say...

TOWNSFOLK 1: Bonjour!

TOWNSFOLK 2: Bonjour!

TOWNSFOLK 3: Bonjour!

TOWNSFOLK 4: Bonjour!

TOWNSFOLK 5: Bonjour!

Hermione : There goes the baker with his tray like always

The same old bread and rolls to sell

Ev'ry morning just the same

Since the morning that we came

To this poor provincial town...

Hagrid: Good morning, Hermione!

(Hermione jumps over to the bakery)

Hermione: Morning monsieur!

Hagrid: Where are you off to?

Hermione: The bookshop! I just finished the most wonderful story, about

a beanstalk and an ogre and...

Hagrid: (Ignoring her) That's nice...Marie, the baguettes! Hurry up!

TOWNSFOLK: Look there she goes, that girl is strange no question

Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?

Doris Crockford: Never part of any crowd

Olivander: Cause her head's up on some cloud

TOWNSFOLK: No denying she's a funny girl, that Hermione!

(Hermione jumps on the back of a wagon and rides through town)

Griphook: Bonjour!

Madam Malkin: Good day!

Griphook: How is your family?

Madam Rosmerta: Bonjour!

Gregorovitch: Good day!

Madam Rosmerta: How is your wife?

Florean Fortescue: I need six eggs!

Tom: That's too expensive!

Hermione: There must be more than this provincial life!

(Hermione enters the bookshop)

Lockheart: Ah, Hermione!

Hermione: Good morning. I've come to return the book I borrowed.


(Putting the book back on the shelf)

Finished already?

Hermione: Oh, I couldn't put it down! Have you got anything new?

Lockheart: (laughing)

Not since yesterday.

Hermione: (on ladder of bookshelf)

That's all right. I'll borrow... this one.

Hermione: That one? But you've read it twice!

Hermione: Well it's my favorite!

(Hermione swings off side of ladder, rolling down it's track)

Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!

Lockheart: (handing her the book)

Well, if you like it all that much, it's yours!

Hermione: But sir!

Lockheart: I insist!

Hermione: Well thank you. Thank you very much!

(leaves bookshop)

MEN: (looking in window, then turning to watch her)

Look there she goes

That girl is so peculiar!

I wonder if she's feeling well!

WOMEN: With a dreamy far-off look!

MEN: And her nose stuck in a book!

ALL What a puzzle to the rest of us is Hermione!

(Hermione sits on the edge of a fountain, singing to the sheep

and the washing woman in the background, who leaves)

Hermione: Oh! Isn't this amazing!

It's my favorite part because, you'll see!

Here's where she meets Prince Charming

But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three!

Mary Cattermole: Now it's no wonder that her name means 'beauty'

Her looks have got no parallel!

Reginald Cattermole: But behind that fair facade

I'm afraid she's rather odd

Very different from the rest of us...

ALL: She's nothing like the rest of us

Yes different from the rest of us is Belle

(GEESE flying overhead, one is shot and plummets to the ground. Gregory Goyle runs

over, holds out the bag, and misses catching the prize. He returns to Draco Malfoy)

Goyle: Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Draco! You're the

greatest hunter in the whole world!

Draco: I know!

Goyle: Huh. No beast alive stands a chance against

you...and no girl for that matter!

Draco: It's true, Goyle, and I've got my sights set on that one!

(pointing to Hermione)

Goyle: The inventor's daughter?

Draco: She's the one! The lucky girl I'm going to marry.

Goyle: But she's-

Draco: The most beautiful girl in town.

Goyle: I know-

Draco: And that makes her the best. And don't I deserve the best?

Goyle: Well of course, I mean you do, but I mean...

Draco: Right from the moment when I met her, saw her,

I said she's gorgeous and I fell

Here in town there's only she

(Hermione walks by and away)

Who is beautiful as me

So I'm making plans to woo and marry Hermione

Pansy, Daphne and Millicent: Look there he goes, isn't he dreamy

Monsieur Malfoy, oh he's so cute

Be still my heart, I'm hardly breathing

He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute

(Hermione walks easily through the crowd of people in the town,

Draco struggles to catch up to her)

MAN 1: Bonjour!

Draco: Pardon!

MAN 2: Good day!

MAN 3: Mais oui!

WOMAN 1: You call this bacon?

WOMAN 2: What lovely grapes!

MAN 4: Some cheese!

WOMAN 3: Ten yards!

MAN 4: One pound

Draco: 'scuse me!

MAN 4: I'll get the knife!

Draco: Please let me through!

WOMAN 4: This bread!

MAN 5: Those fish!

WOMAN 4: It's stale!

MAN 5: They smell!

MAN 6: Madame's mistaken!

Hermione: There must be more than this provincial life!

ALL: Well maybe so...

Draco: Just watch I'm going to make Hermione my wife!

(TOWNSFOLK gather around Draco, and eventually surround him)

ALL: Look there she goes a girl who's strange but special

A most peculiar mademoiselle

It's a pity and a sin

She doesn't quite fit in!

GROUP 1: But she really is a funny girl

GROUP 2: A beauty but a funny girl

ALL: She really is a funny girl! That Hermione!

**End of Song**

Draco: Hello, Hermione.

Hermione: Bonjour Draco.

(Draco grabs the book from Hermione)

Draco, may I have my book, please?

Draco: How can you read this? There's no pictures!

Hermione: Well, some people use their imaginations.

Draco: Hermione, it's about time you got your head out of those books

(tossing book into the mud)

and paid attention to more important things...like me! The whole town's talking about it.

(Pansy, Daphne and Millicent, who are looking on, sigh. Hermione

has picked up the book and is cleaning off the mud)

It's not right for a woman to read-soon she starts getting ideas... and thinking.

Hermione: Draco, you are positively primeval.

Draco: (Putting his hand around her shoulders)

Why thank you, Hermione. Hey, whaddya say you and me take a walk over to

the tavern and have a look at my hunting trophies.

Hermione: Maybe some other time.

Pansy: What's wrong with her?

Daphne: She's crazy!

Millicent: He's gorgeous!

Hermione: Please, Draco. I can't. I have to get home and help my father.

Goyle: Ha ha ha, that crazy old loon, he need all the help he can get!

(Draco and Goyle laugh heartily)

Hermione: Don't you talk about my father that way!

Draco: Yeah, don't talk about her father that way!

(He conks Goyle on the head.)

Hermione: My father's not crazy! He's a genius!

(Explosion in background. Draco and Goyle continue

laughing. Hermione rushes home and descends into the basement.)