Disclaimer: Edmund and Peter Pevensie, Caspian X and all the characters and situations in the Chronicles of Narnia belong to C. S. Lewis and not to me.

A ROYAL PROCLAMATION

Three Kings of Narnia conferred in the Council Chamber at Cair Paravel.

"Another one?" Edmund crossed his arms over his chest. "This is getting ridiculous."

"It's been ridiculous for some time now." Peter ran one hand through his tawny hair, looking as if he couldn't decide whether to laugh or kick something. "Why do they have to pick on us?"

Edmund's dark eyes narrowed. "You didn't actually read it, did you, Peter?"

"Of course not. A glance at the description was enough. Aren't there other kingdoms, other worlds, other mind sets that would better fit with that kind of thing? I mean, if they must write it at all. Narnia, especially this Narnia, just has no place for it. It's against everything we stand for, everything Aslan stands for."

Caspian grinned a little self-consciously. "If you think it bothers you, and as much as it bothers me, think what it's like for my lady, the pure daughter of a star. She can't imagine where they even get such ideas, why people would portray us that way when we're not remotely like that. It's bad enough when they involve me with one of your sisters. Believe me, I honor and respect them both and love them truly as I would my own sisters, but this . . . "

Edmund laughed. "How do you think we feel when they pair me or Peter with one of them?"

"At least they're girls," Peter said with a bit of a wry grin.

"Sorry about those other stories." Caspian shook his head. "I love you and Ed like brothers, but only like brothers."

Edmund blushed to the roots of his hair. "Evidently some of these tales don't see brotherhood as an obstacle either."

Peter snickered. "You know I'd die for you, Eddie, but I have to draw the line somewhere."

"You have no idea how much I appreciate that line, brother mine." Edmund smirked and then sobered. "If they can write that sort of thing, they don't know us and they don't know Aslan. What can you do but laugh?"

Caspian paced a few steps. "Or punch someone in the face."

"I don't suppose there's much to do," Peter admitted, "but we can at least register our objections. Ed, would you be good enough to take this down?"

Edmund smirked again but sat down at the desk and dipped a quill into the inkwell. "Standard litany of titles?"

"Right."

The quill scratched across the parchment for some while, and then Edmund sighed. "To?"

"To all who dwell in this hearing–"

Caspian looked puzzled. "'In this hearing?'"

Peter frowned, thinking. "Within hearing?"

Edmund nodded and started writing again. "Better."

"To all who dwell within hearing," Peter repeated, "whether in our beloved kingdom of Narnia or in Archenland, Calormen, Ettinsmoor, beyond the great Western Wood and Lantern Waste or over the eastern sea unto the end of this world or in any others, Greeting."

After much discussion and input from his brother and from Caspian, along with a number of insertions and deletions and re-writings, Peter finally read the document through and then signed his name.

"Will it help, do you think?" Caspian asked.

Peter shrugged. "Probably not. But at least we've had our say."

"We have." Edmund smiled. "And we can leave the rest in the paws of the Lion."

And that is what they did.

Peter, by the gift of Aslan, by election, by prescription and by conquest, High King over all Kings in Narnia, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Lord of Cair Paravel, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion, to all who dwell within hearing whether in our beloved kingdom of Narnia or in Archenland, Calormen, Ettinsmoor, beyond the great Western Wood and Lantern Waste or over the eastern sea unto the end of this world or in any others, Greeting.

It has come to our attention and to that of our trusty and well-beloved brother, Edmund, King under us in Narnia, Duke of Lantern Waste, Count of the Western March, Knight of the Noble Order of the Table, and to that of our regarded sister Susan, Queen of Narnia, Chatelaine of Cair Paravel, Duchess of Dancing Lawn, Countess of the Southern Vale, Lady of the Noble Order of the Horn, and to that of our honoured sister Lucy, Queen of Narnia, Marchioness of the Seven Isles, Duchess of Glasswater, Keeper of Aslan's How,Lady of the Vial, and to that of our esteemed Caspian X, also King under us in Narnia, Lord of Telmar, Duke of the Shuddering Woods, Ruler of the Eastern Seas, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion, Knight of the Order Dawntreader, as well as to that of divers others of our acquaintance, that certain of our chroniclers and poets, in creating tales of our lesser-known adventures, have described our conduct and that of our fellow Kings and Queens to be such that oversteps the bounds of decency, honour and right living that ought properly be ascribed to a Knight or Lady of Narnia, and most especially to one of Aslan's chosen Sovereigns. Behaviour so abhominable has never been seen in nor approved of by either ourself or any of our Royal Consorts or any other creature who has pledged himself to the Great Lion, and it shows little knowledge and less consideration to present any of us in ways that are patently contrary to our true and proven natures and to the decrees of Aslan.

And though neither we nor our fellow Sovereigns would lightly play the tyrant to any creature's imagination, be he our subject or no, yet for the sake of our honour and of our good name, we hereby make this proclamation before Aslan, Highest of all Kings, and before His Great Father, the Emperor-beyond-the-Sea: That any such presentations of ourself or of our Royal Consorts and fellow Kings and Queens of Narnia are perjuries and outright falsehoods and are against our well-known conduct, as it has been long set down in the true Chronicles, and against our honour as Knights and Ladies of Narnia and against our duties as Sovereigns under the Great Lion, for the proof of which we or any of our fellow Kings shall at any time be pleased to adventure our royal persons in clean wager of battle upon the body of any man who might make claim to the contrary. May our sweet Narnia ever remain as Aslan intended when first He sang it into being, and may we all live as pleases Him.

Given at our Castle of Cair Paravel, New Narnia, this XXIV day of Greenroof.

Author's Note: Many thanks to OldFashionedGirl95 for her input and advice, especially regarding titles. Any errors remain stubbornly my own.

–WD

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