A/N: I can't believe I'm going to do this, but I'm a sucker for angsty gerita. It's Italy's turn to be tormented this time! (You are so mean to your characters! You and Italy should get together and write something, then all the people in the story will have PTSD and flashbacks, not just the main ones! – Prussia)

Warnings for: sexual abuse, pedophilia, self harm, yaoi etc. Not for sensitive readers! Pairings include Gerita, Spamano and some non-con NetherlandsxItaly. Why Netherlands? Because it was either him or Russia, and I felt bad about making Russia the bad guy last time...

Hetalia doesn't belong to me. Big thanks to my wundebar beta's Italy, Prussia and Canada!


This can't be happening

A mother's selfish pride

Her child's homicide

Can she be to blame?

The suited vultures circling

A father's cruelty

A murdered family

Is this world insane?

Their defenders ready to embrace their lies

With their devious smiles

Sacrifice- Disturbed


10 years ago

"Feliciano, these marks are not acceptable!" The teacher accused as he placed the previous day's test in front of the young boy. The bright red 'F' made the Italian's chin tremble fearfully.

He'd tried so hard to do better. He'd spent the entire night studying Maths, practicing the sums until his eyes burned with exhaustion. He just didn't understand the subject...

"Ve...I'm sorry Mr. Van Dyk... I'll do better next time, I promise!" Feliciano promised, voice shaking slightly as he avoided eye contact with the Dutch teacher.

"It's all good and well to say that Feliciano, but you've been saying that all term! Come to my classroom after school, I'll give you some extra lessons..." The seven year old blinked before meeting the teacher's gaze.

Lars was smiling at him before he went back to handing out the rest of the tests. Feliciano smiled back, his grin full of the innocence of youth.

"What was that about, fratello?" Lovino asked curiously, leaning over from his desk to question his little brother.

"I- I failed again..."

"Chigi! Again? Nonno is going to kill you!"

"Ve- It's ok, Mr. van Dyk's giving me some extra lessons after school. I'm sure I'll do better next time!"

"Still, Nonno's going to kill you! Well actually, he won't since you're his-"

"Lovino Vargas! Stop talking!" Lovino blushed at the teacher's rebuke and turned back to the front. He'd forgotten that they were in class...

Feliciano just giggled and tried to focus on what Mr. van Dyk was saying about the three times tables.


"I'll tell Nonno that you'll be late!" Lovino shouted as he left the classroom with Antonio. Normally the three of them went home with Antonio's parents, since the Spanish boy lived next door to them. The Italian twin's grandfather worked during the day and was unable to pick them up.

"Grazi ,Lovi!" Feliciano replied cheerfully. He wasn't exactly looking forward to having extra lessons, but if he did better it would be worth it, he hated disappointing his grandfather...

"Grazi, for the extra lessons Mr. van Dyk. You're so nice!" The Italian added as he moved to one of the seats closer to the front as the classroom emptied.

"It's not a problem Feli, can I call you that?"

"Of course, it's what my friends call me! Ve...you are my friend? ...Right?" Feliciano asked nervously. Had he crossed a boundary? The teacher just chuckled.

"Yes Feli, I consider us friends."

"Good! Cause I like you!"

Lars van Dyk moved closer to the desk that Feliciano had chosen, drawing up a chair to sit in front of him.

"...Should I get my books out?" Feli murmured. The teacher shrugged.

"If you want to. Just remember though, it's your fault you're here..." The Italian blinked, confusion in his amber eyes.

"Ve? I know..." The young boy leant over to get his book out of his bag, but froze when he felt a hand on his leg. He flinched, eyes going wide as he met his teacher's gaze.

"...Mr. van Dyk?" He asked nervously. He wasn't sure what was going on...

"It's okay Feli, this is what friends do... And call me 'sir'." The hand moved higher up the young Italian's thigh, making the boy squirm uncomfortably.

"Ve... Sir?"

"Yes, we're friends, and if you don't do it, it will hurt my feelings." The teacher explained. Feliciano trembled, feeling the hand crawling even higher.

"Please stop, sir..." He whimpered as the appendage reached his crotch and paused, a faint pressure that he couldn't help but fear. "Nonno said not to let anyone touch me there..."

"It's what friends do though. Didn't you want to be my friend?" The hand started to rub his pants, starting off lightly before becoming more forceful.

"Si... But-"

"But nothing. You brought this upon yourself, remember?" Lars could feel the boy stirring beneath his kneading fingers. Feliciano started blushing and squirming uncomfortably, confused tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"But- What- I" The boy stammered.

"What's happening?" Lars asked. The boy nodded fearfully, making the Dutchman smile. "It's an erection. It means you want this."

"But-" The teacher placed his other hand over Feliciano's mouth, stopping him from speaking. The Italian's eyes went impossibly wider, small tears rolling down his face as his heart and breathing quickened.

"Don't speak. I'm just giving you what you want..." The teacher removed his hand as he leant over the desk and replaced it with his lips. Lars could feel the boy's panicked breaths on his face as his tongue forced its way into the Italian's mouth.

His other hand finally moved away from the boy's crotch, but instead slipped under his shirt to stroke his bare skin. Feliciano whimpered.

"Relax; I wouldn't be doing this if you didn't want it..." Lars murmured, pulling away from the boy's swollen lips to pull the shirt off of him. "Now get on the floor." he ordered.

Feliciano just sobbed and trembled in his seat. "N-No... per favore..." The teacher snarled, shoving the boy's shoulder hard and making him fall to the floor with a yelp.

"I said get on the floor, you whore!" The Italian had tears streaming down his face now as he tried to curl himself up in an attempt to cover his bare chest. Lars just smiled and pulled at the boy's wrists, holding them above Feliciano's head as he pinned the Italian to the ground.

The teacher held him with just a single hand as his other hand moved to the hem of Feliciano's pants, yanking them down with a single move before repeating the gesture with his underwear.

"Per favore! P-per favore!" Feliciano begged once he was naked before Lars's gaze. The teacher glared down at him perversely, eyes raking his small and undeveloped body. The Italian didn't know what was about to happen, but he was sure that it would be bad.

Lars moved his free hand down to the zip of his jeans, pulling it down and allowing his erection to spring out. Feliciano's eyes widened as he started struggling, pleading with the man above him as his legs were forced apart.

He whimpered as a single spit-slicked finger was forced inside of him, feeling the digit stroking his inner walls. His pleas had died down to echoing sobs as another finger was slipped inside.

"You know you want this..."

Stop! Please! I don't want this! The Italian screamed in his head.

"Look at you, you're so hard! You must be dying to have me inside you..." Lars moaned as he slipped a third finger into the Italian's entrance.

Feliciano wanted to deny it, wanted to scream for his teacher to stop, but he was still erect. He must want it... He must deserve it...

The fingers were removed making Feliciano tremble and sigh with relief, before he screamed into a hand that was suddenly placed in front of his mouth as he felt searing pain from Lars thrusting into him.


The boy was still sobbing while Lars cleaned both of them up. "Stop crying!" The teacher ordered, making Feliciano squeak in terror as he tried to stifle his tears and cries. "Good, now stand up and get dressed."

The Italian obeyed him, whimpering as he limped to where his clothes were. Lars frowned at the boy's obvious limps.

"You are not to tell anyone of this, okay, Feli? If anyone asks why you're limping it's because you tripped. Besides, no-one would believe you if you told them; and even if they did they'd say you deserved it or that you must have wanted it..."

Feliciano nodded fearfully. "Ve...I-I won't t-tell..."

"Good, because if you do I will kill you... You are to come here same time next week for another extra lesson. Remember, it's all your fault."

It's my fault...

I deserved it...

I wanted it...


"How'd your extra lesson go Feli?" Nonno Roma asked as the seven year old jumped into the car with a wince. "Why are you limping? Did you hurt yourself?"

"Ve? Haha, si, I tripped!"

"Haha, silly boy!" Feliciano forced a smile onto his face. He couldn't tell him, couldn't tell anyone...

He deserved it.


I will make it go away

Can't be here no more

Sickness is the only way

I will soon be gone

These feelings will be gone

These feelings will be gone

Now I see the times they change

Believe me, nothing seems so strange

I am hoping I can find

A way to leave my hurt behind

All the shit I seem to take

All alone I seem to break

I have lived the best I can

Does this make me not a man

Alone I break- Korn

A/N2: Dio mio! I can't believe I wrote that! What's worse is that I wrote that during the 16 days of activism against child and woman abuse... I'm going to hell...

(I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…..how could you? He was so little…I wanna hug. - Prussia)
(Y U channel my childhood? It makes for scary reading. - Italia)

Or I would be if I believed in it... I'll probably be smote though.

Please review/ send me 'omg how could you do that!' messages! Next chapter will be in the present and introduces Ludwig and possibly a few other characters! (How could you do this to me? And little Feli? - Prussia)