So, this probably isn't what you were hoping for. Sorry. I did NaNoWriMo last month (www (dot) nanowrimo (dot) org if you don't know what that is) and I was so burned out with my novel, even though I really made no progress with it. That explanation sounds weird, doesn't it? Anyway...
This is a short little piece of crack!fic to get me back in gear for fanfiction. Hooray for crack!
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or anything affiliated with it.
The Doctor, upon realising that Amy and Rory were serious when they said they needed sleep after being captured and kept prisoner by the Judoon for three days, retreated sadly to the TARDIS's console room. In deference to his companions, he set the time machine into the vortex and flopped down in the chair, utterly bored.
After several moments of looking around the room and tapping his foot, he jumped from the chair and pulled the TARDIS's screen around to face him. Lately, he had taken up a hobby.
It was an odd hobby, to be sure, something that Rory, and especially Amy, were never to know about. He loved humans, but sometimes, they could be so thick and wrong that he could not help but try to set them straight. So he had taken to... editing Wikipedia.
"No, before you say anything!" The Doctor pointed a finger at the TARDIS's time rotor. "Before you start moving around rooms and humming angrily at me, I am not adding a page for you!"
One might ask why a Lord of Time would spend his hours editing a website from 2011 Earth. Put simply, he was irritated by the simple things that some of them claimed to know and were so wrong about. It was annoying, and as it would be illogical to go from person to person, he would therefore fix the one website that everyone seemed to rely on for standard information, even though said information could be edited by anyone, even himself.
And on this particular day, he ran across an interesting page with a word he had never seen before. There was very little that he did not know, so this intrigued him quite a bit. "What is this... fanfiction?"
Upon reading the page, he discovered that this past time was a fairly common thing, but seemed to be mainly engaged in by teenage girls. This baffled him, teenage girls being a reasonably small, yet powerful denomination of the world. They did make Twilight popular, he reasoned, so they must be at least stubbornly persistent.
He took to the tubes of the internet, landing in what seemed to be a "fanfiction" center, the very site you now read. He skimmed the different sections, choosing a few at random to peruse.
There were fanfiction of so many things! Books, movies, television shows... Upon clicking on the last one, he skimmed the list until- "Wait. What? 'Doctor Who'?"
These humans knew the question? But how? How could they possibly...
He quickly began to regard this site in contempt. It obviously was a ruse to tell the humans the secrets of the universe! What other things could these humans know about him? He clicked on the 'Doctor Who' section and found a list of things with what seemed to be descriptions. "But... That never happened." Next. "There isn't even a Time Lord by that name!" Next. "Why in the world would I ever-" He blinked. The next "fanfiction" on the list had a strange description and was rated 'M', he decided, for 'Maniacal'. He clicked and began to read.
Exactly three seconds later, a piercing scream woke Amy and Rory from their sleep. Amy threw off the covers and launched herself from the soft warmth and Rory's arms, making her husband furrow his eyebrows in confusion. Amy ran to the console room as fast as her legs would carry her, skidding to a halt on her fuzzy slippers. There sat the Doctor glaring at the TARDIS's screen with such anger and contempt that she was sure it would burst into flames at any second.
"Doctor?" she carefully asked in her Scottish lilt. "Are you alright? I heard screaming."
"THIS!" he fumed, gesturing to the screen with a hand. "This... abomination!"
Amy scuttled down the steps as a bleary-eyed Rory appeared behind her, frowning at being awoken from his rest. "Doctor, we were trying to sleep..."
"You don't understand!" The Time Lord yelled, face turning red with anger. "These... these PEOPLE!"
Amy frowned as she stared at the screen, trying to take in words that were hard to comprehend for someone woken up so rudely from their dreams. "Doctor, what is it?"
"Just look!" he shouted, pointing to a passage on the screen. His voice dropped low, a deadly sound that spelled his vengeance. "I would never do that with the Master!"