Did anyone else think that Dwayne and Travis were totally going to kiss at the end! Forgive my slash obsessed fangirl mind! I just had to write this alternate ending! Sorry if I messed up the dialogue that I took from the movie. Enjoy this slashy work of crack!
Fuck! Thought Dwayne as he painstakingly got up off the ground. Those bastards got away with my money! But just as he was about to reach for a gun to shoot Pizza Boy's tires out, the nearby screaming registered in his ears. "Travis! Holy shit, Travis!" His best friend was on fire!
"Dwayne!" cried out the burning man.
Quickly, Dwayne got up and racked his tiny brain for a way to save his friend. In an adrenaline fuelled feat of genius, Dwayne grabbed his coat and beat out the fire. He then flipped Travis over to make sure he hadn't burned to death. "Travis, dude, are you okay?" He asked, panting and leaning over his friend.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Travis coughed. "You came back for me!"
"Of course man you did great, you didn't hesitate!" exclaimed Dwayne, putting his hands on Travis's shoulders and leaning in a bit closer.
"Dwayne?" Travis's heart began to pound. When he had been on fire, his pathetic life had flashed before his eyes and he had realized something. He knew if he didn't say it now, he probably never would. What did he have to lose?
Dwayne squeezed Travis's shoulders. "Yeah, buddy?"
"I love you."
Dwayne's heart skipped a beat. "I love you too, Travis!" He smashed their lips together and nothing had ever felt so right. Years of suppressed feelings and sexual tension were poured into the passionate kiss. Travis tasted of ashes and root beer but Dwayne found he didn't mind one bit. The Major had been right all along; he was in love with Travis.
When the need to breathe finally overpowered their love, Dwayne stopped straddling Travis and helped him up. "Come on. Let's forget about the money and that asshole pizza boy and just go home."
Travis nodded and let Dwayne carry him back to the van.
And they all lived happily ever after. The end!