The rain poured down as I stared at the sight before me. I didn't care. The beautiful white cottage we had chosen together. I was surprised she lived here. What was she waiting for? My feet climbed up the four little steps. A smile graced my lips, small for our future children. Did she have children running around?
"Hmm" I hummed back in reply.
"Are those the steps for the front?" She inquired.
"Wait they need to be so much smaller, imagine our kids..." She stopped her little rant when she realised what she had said a blushed a beautiful scarlet.
"You're already thinking about babies huh?"
"No it's just uhh..." I pressed my lips roughly against hers as a felt a small smile form against my lips.
"So you wanna start now?"
"Edward." She softly scolded "We're too young besides I want to finish college and be married."
"Last I checked twenty-one isn't that young and you've only got a few months of college left. But if you insist then you're just going to have for that proposal then." I winked jokingly at her as her eyes widened in disbelief. What she didn't think I wasn't thinking about marriage? Christ we were already moving in together.
"Well I still may have a few months but I still want to finish college and start writing before you decide to knock me up."
"Well I guess we'll have to wait then. But you know what they all say?"
"What?" She questioned completely oblivious.
"Practise makes perfect." She giggled as I lifted her up in my arms and boy did we make a lot of practise.
Unfortunately we didn't get a chance at those babies, hell I didn't even get a chance to propose before everything burnt into flames.
Involuntarily my fist found itself clenched and three harsh knocks were made against the soft wood. Too quickly for me to gather myself more courage the door swung open. She looked the same but the constant shine in her features was gone. Soft lifeless brown eyes with the look of shock stared at me. Pink lips opened in a 'o' shape. Pale skin which missed the constant pink glow. Slim body which clothes hung off. Hadn't she taken care of herself?
"Bella." Came a pathetic whisper from my mouth as I went to touch her.
She backed away almost immediately.
"What..." She cleared her throat. "What are you doing here?" Her voice came out shaky although determined.
A flash of anger struck across her face. "It's Isabella to you."
"I'm so sorry Bella. You've got to believe me."
"Isabella." She repeated.
"Why won't you let me call you Bella?"
"Because it hurts to much." She finally screamed as all the anger she welt up inside of her came flying out. She fell to the floor clutching onto herself as tears flowed uncontrollably.
I scrambled to the floor and tried to comfort her. My own tears falling down my cheeks. Could she ever forgive me?
I clung to her, for what felt like hours but was probably mere minutes, pressing kisses of apologies on her head and she continued to stain my shirt with her salty tears. Did I have any chance at all?
She pushed herself from me, wiped her tears and rushed upstairs. Curious I found myself upstairs my best shot was probably the room with the open door so I entered it not wanting to look in any of the others in case she really had moved on.
She cradled a small little baby in her arms, short blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and slightly tanned skin. I told you she moved on dammit. Rage engulfed me, if only I didn't fuck up. God dammit. She's never going to forgive me. Fuck fuck fuck.
"Allie's" Her sweet voice pulled me out of my mental rambling
"Excuse me?" I questioned, confused out of my mind.
"She's Alice and Jasper's baby girl." The pain in my heart stopped.
"I have a niece?" Bella simply nodded. "Can I hold her?" Bella motioned me with her finger to enter further into the room and when I was close enough she placed the baby in my arms. She did this all without a single touch. Why did she keep backing away?
"She's beautiful." A smile swept across her face, making my heart skip a beat.
"That she is. Her name is Annabelle Lily Whitlock." Somehow she could still answer questions without me speaking them out loud. "We call her 'Annie' for short. You should have seen the look on your fathers face when Jasper bought Alice home with a swelling stomach and a ring on her finger. I mean who would have thought Carlisle Cullen had a fully loaded gun? A rifle no less." I tried to imagine my father pointing a gun at poor Jasper, how I wished I was there to witness that. My throat felt tight and I just nodded and Bella letting her know I had been listening to her.
I rocked Annie till her eyes went droopy and she feel quietly into slumber. I placed her into her crib and turned to look at Bella. Her eyes held no emotion and heavy bags lay under them.
I looked for some conversation. "You still keep in touch with my family?"
"That I do."
"Why? Edward really why?"
"I'm sorry I just, er I don't know. Where are they?"
"It's the annual Christmas charity benefit today. All the proceeds are going drug units around the country." For the first time in four hundred and one days Bella looked directly into my eyes. I knew the look, disappointment. My eyes dropped to my shoes in shame. "We need to talk Edward. Let's go downstairs?"
She was acting calm, way too fucking calm. We reached the living room. Everything was just the same, the couch in the exact same position, the small coffee table in the middle of the room, the flat screen mounted on the wall, the family portraits, the photographs of us. Everything was the same.
She sat on one of the couches and motioned for me to sit on the one opposite. We sat quietly for a few minutes. Both of us unsure of what to say.
"Why are you here, Edward?" She asked softly.
"I...I came to apologise."
"Why now Edward? It's been four hundred and one days. Why now?"
"You've been counting too."
I shook my head she knew what I was saying.
"Why, Edward? Answer me god damnit. Why?" She screamed before her voice grew softer but held the same amount of bitterness. "All I know, Edward, is that while my father was dying from cancer, when I needed you, you were getting high and fucking random hookers. Why, Edward? All I'm asking you is why? Wasn't I good enough for you? Did you get bored of me? Just tell me please."
"No baby, it wasn't you. Please don't ever think that." Bella snorted slightly but didn't say anything. "It was me. It was all me. Everything was all too much, too fast. We weren't ready for the fame, the money, the fans. It was like one day I was a regular guy trying to make a name for myself and the next everyone knew who I was. People wanted more, I couldn't give them more. Everything around me was slowly crumbling down. I had no idea how to handle the fame. Then I was being pressured to make more music. I was new and people loved me but they needed more of me. That wasn't the life I wanted."
"What was the life you wanted?" Bella's eyes had started to gain water in them and I knew she was holding back.
"The life I wanted was here. Here within these four walls. With you."
"Why did you give up on us so easily then?" Silent tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried to get the words out.
"I never gave up on us, I just lost sight of us. While you were back home helping your dad through his last days, I was struggling. With all the gigs I did there were after parties. With after parties came alcohol, drugs and sex. I was so stressed that I couldn't come up with music that was good enough for the public. People were doing drugs all around me. I mean celebrities do drugs and they seem to be fine right? That's what I said to myself. So I got some drugs and took them with me. It kept me up all night and the next thing I know I had some inspirations and new music was coming out like crazy. I felt good and kept taking drugs, the next thing you know the drugs were keeping me alive. Half the time I didn't know what I was doing. When you came back to me that night and you saw me with the girl, I wasn't thinking straight. I had no clue what had happened that night. Hell I didn't know what was happening for months before that."
"I called you every day, you could have talked to me." Her tone was lifeless.
"I'm being honest Bella, I don't remember speaking to you on the phone. Everything felt like a blur. I didn't handle things right and I'm so sorry for that."
"What have you been doing since I left?"
"That night you left I was so pissed with myself. The whole hotel suite was turned upside down. Anyway I was so angry I started drinking more, started using drugs more heavily. It wasn't until after the tour, when I found a picture of you I questioned my whole life. I had no idea what I was doing anymore. I couldn't recognise myself. The man looking in the mirror wasn't the man my parents raised me to be. I tried calling you but it never got through. So I called my parents. They would never give any information about anyone especially you. Only that the whole family was doing okay."
"Why didn't you come back home?"
"Bella you have to understand, even though what I did was wrong I didn't stop using drugs straight away. I slowly started to use less, my whole existence was dependent on them. My parents tried to get me to come back home so they could assist me to gain medical help. After a few phone calls they stopped pressurising me. I needed space and I needed to sort myself out before I faced them again. They understood that. At that time I was in North Carolina. On my way to the local bar I saw a church so I walked inside it. At that time an AA meeting was going on. So every day I returned to the church. People recognised me but I couldn't care. The guy conducting the meeting knew I needed extra help so sent me to this rehab facility. I only got released a few days ago and came straight here."
Bella stayed quite after I finished talking, I knew she was soaking up everything I had just said, over analysing it most probably.
I couldn't bear the silence anymore. "I love you, Bella"
"Please don't. Please please please. I can't..." Heavy sobs racked through Bella's body as she wrapped both arms around her body, sort of like she was trying to hold herself together.
Knowing I had to prove to her I had changed, I walked towards her before kneeling down on both my knees. My fingers went to her chin and lifted her face up till it was level with mine.
Slowly I bought my lips up to hers taking her soft bottom lip in my mouth. My kisses were soft and gentle hoping to get her to react. My lips slowly retreated from hers but she pushed her head forward and finally our lips were moving in sync.
"I need you back." I whispered against her lips. "I promise I'll do everything, we can to fix us up, baby." I continued to pepper tiny kisses along the column of her neck.
"I need you too." I didn't know if she meant she needed me now or forever but at this very moment I couldn't care. We could figure it out later.
Our kisses grew heavy and soon Bella was laying on the couch will me hovering over her. Our bodies were tightly glued together. He breasts pressed against my chest.
"I need you." She repeated except this time her hands pushed me back a little so that she could work on the buttons of my shirt. Slowly her fingers popped each button open and I was left shirtless with her wonderful fingers tracing sweet patterns on my torso.
My fingers danced along the hem of Bella's top. She shifted slightly and stretched her hands over her head. An indication to take her top off. I slowly dragged the material over her upper body until it was off and threw it carelessly. Her breasts were covered by a simple, white t-shirt bra.
My lips went straight to her covered collar bones, her delicious sweet spot. I nipped, sucked and licked them. Bella was moaning and groaning underneath me as her hands ripped apart my hair.
My hands reached for the buttons of her jeans and I looked into her eyes. Bella responded my nodding her head, her silent response for my silent question. After some difficultly Bella's jeans were flung to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Bella's hands tugged against the belt of my jeans and a few moments later my jeans followed.
We were both in our underwear. I got up into a straddle position over Bella and looked down at her. She was still beautiful as ever. Her breasts which fit perfectly into my hands. Her smooth stomach. Her shapely hips. However she had lost quite a bit of weight.
Bella's hips buckled against mine dragging me out of my daze. Her wet panties coming in contact with my boxer covered cock. She moaned loudly and continued to rock her hips.
"Sh. You are going to have to be quiet." I pointed upstairs. Bella nodded and bit her lip to stop the loud noises.
My hands went round to her back trying to find the clasp to her bra. "Front clasp." She rasped out before claiming my lips again. My fingers pinched the clasp to reveal her breasts.
"Exquisite." I murmured against her breast before engulfing her nipple into my mouth. The rocking of her hips grew faster as she wrapped her legs around my waist.
I unwrapped Bella's legs so I could peal her panties off. She took this time to push my boxers down my legs before I flung them off my ankles.
My lips kissed down the valley of her breasts to her stomach. Bella's hand tugged on my hair. "No foreplay." She demanded breathlessly. "I need you in me now!"
Slowly I aligned our bodies so that my cock was at her entrance. "Oh God, Edward!"
With the tip of my cock I teased her slightly. "Tell me what you want, Bella."
"You!" She nearly shouted.
I bit her hip slightly reminding her that we weren't the only people in the house. Her hooded eyes came in contact with mine. "I need you Edward. I need your cock in my pussy. I fucking need you." The last part came out as a sob.
My lips sought hers and I slowly entered her. Holy hell! No amount of memories could do her justice.
I ripped my lips for Bella's for a chance to breath. "You are so hot and tight. Fuck baby you're dripping all over my cock!"
Bella wrapped my legs around my waist making me go deeper causing us both to groan. One of my hands went to Bella's breast pinching her nipples while my other lingered above her shoulder keeping my weight off her. I continued to thrust my hips against Bella, our skin slapping against each other. Bella's moans however were turning into screams so I placed my lips on top of hers and captured her noises.
Her hips rolled against mine and I could feel her tightening against my cock. My fingers went to her clit and pinched it. Bella's lips tore away from mine as she reached her orgasm and she let out a scream. "Edward!"
I wasn't far behind and I furiously pumped my hips, pushing my cock in and out of Bella's wetness. Finally I came and bit onto the skin above Bella's breast to keep the noise to a minimal.
My body collapsed on top of Bella's as I got my breathing back to normal. Placing a slow kiss on her lips I maneuvered my body so that she was resting on my chest. Bella's eyelashes caressed the skin on top of my heart. I bent my head and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
"I love you." The three words I had been waiting for.
"I love you too, baby. And I'm so sorry. I promise I'll..."
"Shh" Bella hushed me by meshing her swollen lips against mine.
We had so much to get through. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. There would be fights and tears, but as long as we were together we could make it.
Hey guys so I thought I'd give you guys a little Christmas treat . So happy holidays. Enjoy and leave your thoughts.