A/N Oh my gawd, I am sorry for bombarding you poor people with SPN story after SPN story. But, I get obsessed...and I love these boys so much! This one just kinda fell into my lap because, for whatever reason, I wanted to write someone asking 'How do you fix a broken heart?' and...this happened. So, enjoy?
Disclaimer~ Nope, still don't own it but I'm working on it. ;)
Sam really didn't want to go to some bar with Dean and Cas.
He was happy for them, really, he was, but seeing them together was too much. The way their eyes lit up when they saw each other, the way they always stood just a tad too close or that smile they'd get when saying each other's name. As much as Sam knew his brother deserved this chance to be happy, he just couldn't take it. The memories it brought back, they tore and clawed at him so deeply he swore he could feel it in his soul.
Memories of soft, golden hair and sweet, pink lips. Of long nights curled around another body watching movies or of nights where sleep was the last thing on their mind when they went to bed. That gentle voice that soothed him out of his nightmares and the way her hand felt in his, small, delicate and perfect.
Memories of Jess.
So, the hunter was lying alone on the motel bed, not trying to cry but not forcing the tears back either. The bed felt cold, even with his body heat having already spread, and he turned to his side.
Soon, just like every other time he started thinking about Jess, his thoughts somehow found their way to Gabriel. Sam realized, though denied with a vengeance, the he didn't love just Jess. She was amazing, he had been in love with her. And thinking of her still hurt and that pain was on par with what he remembered from Hell. But, he'd fallen in love again.
Sam didn't scare easily when it didn't come to Dean, but he was terrified. He got the hints, he knew the angel felt the same way. But he couldn't handle loosing someone again. Every person he had ever loved had been hurt, killed. Jess, all she had ever done was love and her life was ripped from her just as she had been able to start living it. Sam didn't feel like he deserved that love. His heart had been broken too many times, and letting himself have Gabriel only to loose him? His heart would finally shatter. It was already cracked straight down the middle, he couldn't handle any more.
The hunter finally succumbed to his tears and began sobbing into the cheap, musty pillow. He had reached a point that the only person he didn't expect to leave him was Dean, and if he did he still wouldn't be too surprised.
His broklen heart was beating heavily as his breaths grew shallow. His cheeks felt raw and he knew his face must have been swollen. The room was spinning and there was a dull ringing in his ears.
He heard a flutter of wings and he forced his face back into the pillow as another sob hit him. He could smell the earthy scent mixed with chocolate and already his heart was breaking even more. He felt the bed dip as Gabriel sat down and a tentative hand landed onm his arm. He wanted to flinch away, but the warmth of it, that sense of protection, it overtook him.
"Why you crying, kiddo? What's wrong?" he asked in a voice all too soft to be the trickster's but was his all the same.
That worried tone, Jess had used it so many times after a nightmare. The thought brought fresh tears and he gave another choked sob. He had broken out in a cold sweat and his long hair was plastered to his forhead and the back of his neck. Sam clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white, and bit at his bottom lip.
"Please, talk to me, Sammy." Gabriel pleaded, threading his fingers through the hunter's thick hair in what he hoped was a soothing way.
"I miss her." he finally choked out. Though not the whole truth, it wasn't a lie either. "Jess, I miss her." he repeated.
Gabriel winced. He loved this man, and wanted nothing more than to make him happy. But, with as powerful as he was, he couldn't bring her back.
He knew Sam loved him as well. He knew that he was conflicted, confused. But he hadn't realized how scared he was. He didn't know that the broken man beside him had been shattered so thoroughly. Touching him, he saw the cracks in his soul, he saw how that lively light was dimming, He forced his own tears back.
"I'm sorry, Sam." he whispered.
They remained silent a few moments, Sam's sobs slowly subsiding to silent years. Finally, he sat up, still not looking at the archangel. Gabriel's hand moved to lie beside Sam's thigh on the scratchy comforter. Hazel eyes flicked to the hand before returning to the vague area on the dirty carpet.
"Gabriel?" Sam questioned, almost too quiet to hear.
"Yeah?" he replied, swallowing thickly.
Sam finally looked at him. His eyes were still wet and his face still red. His bottom lip was bruised and swollen from when he bit it. He face was vacant but his eyes shone with more pain than Gabriel could bear.
"How do you fix a broken heart?" he asked, his tone begging for an answer. His voice held the innocence of a child asking why people who go to Heaven never come back.
"I don't know. But, I'll try if you want." Gabriel finally answered, gingerly cupping Sam's face in his hand.
Sam took a deepo breath and let his eyes slide shut heavily. He was tired and, for once, he wanted to feel like he deserved a chance at happiness.
Gabriel pulled their faces closer so their forheads were leaning against each other. Sam felt his hot breath on his lips and, while his mind panicked and tried to pull away, he heart kept telling him how much he needed this. How much he wanted thing.
With a sudden burst of courage, Sam closed the distance with a shy, chaste kiss. The contact lasted mearly a few seconds, but a small smile graced Sam's face for the briefest of moments.
Gabriel pressed their lips together again, moving soft and slow as if he were afraid Sam would break. The hand not cupping the hunter's face found it's way to Sam's hand and wove their fingers together. Sam's free hand rested on the angel's chest, fingers trembling slightly, the fear still not gone.
The angel pulled away enough to stare into hazel eyes. A few more stray tears slipped and Gabriel wiped them away with his thumb. Sam gave in and leaned into the touch, his eyes flitting back shut. Gabriel squeezed his hand and almost sighed in relief when he got a squeeze back.
"I love you." he said quietly. Sam tensed, going into panic mode. He relaxed as a tender kiss was pressed to the corner of his mouth and suddenly, all that fear began to fade away.
"I love you too." he whispered.
And his heart began to heal.
A/N I was hoping that'd be longer, but I like it. I'm so mean to poor Sammy. I'm sorry Winchester boys, I apparently hurt those I love. xD Teehee so, hope you enjoyed.