Author's note: So, I just finished a more serious fic and decided to try something a bit more lighthearted. But despite the humor, there will be action, and some possible character injury in later chapters. Reviews are very welcome; I hope you all enjoy the story!


Kensi had seen many a strange sight in her day, especially inside her bullpen. Pranks went with the territory; she half suspected they were a mandatory OSP policy. But she was not prepared for the sight that greeted her that morning as she entered the bullpen.

Callen and Sam put fingers to their lips instantly, shaking their heads to prevent her from speaking. She just stared at Deeks, who was tilted back in his chair and fast asleep. That in itself was not unusual, but what attracted her attention were the black Halloween cat ears resplendent on his scruffy head.

She looked at her fellow agents with a confused expression on her face. They had looks on their faces that told her they had a good deal to do with her partner's unique accessory. Before she could say or do anything but set her purse down, Eric's whistle shattered the calm of the morning.

"New case on deck!" He shouted as Deeks sat straight up, ears still in place and he seemed unaware of them. Callen and Sam were already halfway up the stairs, biting back smiles. Kensi debated telling her partner about them but decided to play along as she followed him up the stairs.

"So glad you could join us this morning." Hetty said with a slight trace of sarcasm. She made no reference to Deeks's headgear and instead motioned for Eric to bring up three pictures on the big screen.

"Lieutenant Cornel, Lieutenant Davis and Lieutenant Jarvis." Eric indicated each man in turn. "All missing within a month of each other. They have three things in common; they all work at various Naval bases in records departments, they all have relatively high security clearance, and." Here Eric grinned momentarily. "They all participated in a bachelor's auction held at the Mara Paza Hotel every month."

"Oh, that doesn't surprise me. That place always gets the weirdest clientele." Kensi said, then noticed everyone looking at her. "I have…a friend that goes there."

Eric continued. "The auction features B list celebrities, local high rollers and military personnel. The ladies present bid on their choice, and-"

"We know how an auction works, Eric." Callen interrupted gently. "What does this have to do with our victims? Why are we even involved?"

"Well." Nell interjected and Eric turned the proverbial spotlight over to her. "All three had step ladder security clearance to various record rooms. Every day after their disappearance their card keys or eyes are scanned at work like normal, but the cameras are always blanked out just before and just after their IDs show up in the system. We feel that at worst someone is trying to use the Lieutenants to gain access to something specific, and at best we are dealing with a serial kidnapper that is targeting military personnel that just happens to have access to information."

"Not a very cheery at best." Deeks pointed out, still oblivious to his headwear. Nell nodded in agreement.

"Either way; we need to figure out what is going on. The good news is no bodies have ever turned up; there is a good possibility they are still alive." She said, ever the optimist.

"Do we have any suspects?" Sam asked.

I think it is possibly an inside job; they would access to all their personal information and it wouldn't be difficult to use it to track them for a kidnapping." Eric said.

"But, barring that; three different women won the Lieutenants-" Eric broke off. "That sounds funny. Anyway, I have found pictures of each woman, and they have striking similarities."

He brought up three pictures of young women in their thirties; one blonde, one brunette, and one red head. He was right; there was a marked resemblance.

"Same woman, disguising herself." Kensi said in wonder and Eric nodded. "She is our best bet, I feel."

"The director wants us to find out what is transpiring and quickly; the last man's ID to be used penetrated a highly classified record; he doesn't want any more breaches." Hetty said.

"So far, we can find no real pattern to her work; other military personnel there have had no trouble, and we don't even know for sure if the security usages are a result of this." Eric said. "The Lieutenants are all different in looks, personality, backgrounds, even bases. We have no idea who our mystery woman will pick or what she is basing her targets off of, it could be personal preference for all we know. Even the types of security clearance are different; so we basically would have to backstop for a variety of different things. No one agent could possibly be prepared enough."

"So what is our plan of attack?" Callen asked. Hetty smiled slightly, eyeing her agents.

"I don't know Mr. Callen; what could highly trained, prepared, reasonably attractive agents do to catch a woman who seems to be buying her victims at a bachelor's auction?"

Callen caught what Hetty was saying instantly, Sam and Deeks not far behind. "Hetty…no."

"Oh, yes." She smiled.

"No, Hetty!" Sam said, almost whining but not quite.

"Hetty, those things are just wrong!" Deeks said. "Parading people around like pieces of meat…"

"Exactly!" Sam and Callen nodded.

Kensi looked at them in surprise. "You guys were just talking about a swimsuit contest yesterday!"

Deeks looked at Kensi. "Well, that's different. Women are supposed to do stuff like that."

Nell and Kensi both folded their arms and Deeks swallowed. "Was that a wrong thing to say?"

"Very." Nell said pointedly, glaring at the detective. "And to think I almost felt sorry for you."

"Hetty, I can't help but feel this is a bad idea." Sam said cautiously. Hetty waved her hands.

"Like it or not; you are going undercover as illegible bachelors in next weeks' auction at the Mara Paza."

Eric grinned. "Come on, it might be good for you guys; especially you, Callen. You could use a good relationship."

Hetty intervened before Callen could react. "Don't laugh, Mr. Beal. You will be joining them. We must cover every base; she may prefer the intellectual type."

The computer tech went white. "Hetty…is that wise? Considering that the first and only case I went undercover in I was almost frozen then melted-"

"Frelted." Deeks corrected.

"And I don't really like carrying guns."

"Mr. Beal; none of the agents will be carrying guns. And I have faith in you." Hetty smiled.

"Hetty, can we discuss this-" Callen said.

"No, Mr. Callen, we cannot. Ms. Jones, please bring the agents their case files. And Mr. Deeks, about your…unconventional addition to your wardrobe-I like it."

Deeks frowned, and saw Eric gesture to his own head. Deeks reached up and touched the cat ears, frowning as he pulled them off. He glared at Kensi, and she raised her hands. "I didn't do it."

Nell handed each of the agents their case file with all their necessary information. "Good luck." She smiled.

"You are going to need it."