Happy Holidays! This is a little crackfic that we have written just for shits and giggles. It made us laugh, so we hoped it will do the same for you. It will be short little drabbles posted over the 12 days before Christmas, so expect three-four chapters a day. Consider it our Christmas gift to you, for being such sweet and wonderful readers.

This hasn't been beta'd, since we didn't want to expose MaggieMay14 to this madness early. She may thank us for that.

Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight, but we both adore Christmas.


"So...my mom is probably going to make you sleep in the guest room," I explained to Bella as I glanced at her in the passenger seat of my car and she gave me a gentle smile. God, she was beautiful and she was far too nice to be taking home to my family.

"You mentioned that already, Edward," she replied with a small sigh. "You know, for a guy who insisted on taking his girlfriend home for the holidays, you are pretty damn nervous about it all." Shit. She had caught on.

"Well, your parents were going away on that cruise for the holidays, so I figured it was a great time for you to meet my family," I admitted as I reached across the console and took her hand tightly in my free one. "It's just... they are... different."

"I've heard it all before, baby. Emmett and Jasper are married and they just adopted a little boy. Alice is a bit precocious and girly, even though she's 19 and in her first year at college. Your mom needs help from either medication or liquor to manage through her day and your dad...I believe you referred to him as random."

That was an understatement if I ever heard one.

We turned off the Bogachiel Way, onto our hidden driveway, and travelled down the winding, snow covered road, as my hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. Yes, I wanted to bring Bella home to meet the family, especially since I wanted her to become a part of it. I was just nervous that they would do something to drive her away. After all, it wouldn't be the first time I was embarrassed by my family.

"Listen, if you don't want me to meet them yet, we could just go check into the local Hilton or something." I snorted, imagining Forks with a Hilton. Yeah, there was no way that would happen. The town was lucky it had a Motel 6 and a Pine Cone Motel. Neither of which I would subject Bella to.

As I pulled the car into park, I noticed there were already four cars beside mine. Great, everyone was already home, I thought sarcastically as I turned the car off and looked at my girl. She was so supportive and sweet; I couldn't believe I had gotten so lucky in finding her.

"Before we go in there, I have to give you a few more insights." Bella looked at me oddly as I let out a small cough and then began. "The house will probably smell like weed, or maybe pine tree and weed, since it's the holidays. My dad smokes it, but he doesn't think we know. Don't say anything about it, he's a little sensitive."

"Okay," Bella replied hesitantly.

"My mother has a cat named Snickers, I hate it. It hates me. You will probably be hated by association, so just steer clear."

"From a ... cat?"

"Yeah, it's the spawn of Satan."

"Anything else?"

"Yes... for the love of god, regardless of anything that my family might say, please don't leave me alone with them."

Bella let out a small chuckle and opened her door to step into the cool Forks night air. She smiled at me, certain that things couldn't be as bad as I made them out to be. However, I met Bella almost two years ago, and it's taken me this long to bring her home. You'll find out why.